19. Trigger

“ F ive years and no deaths,” Octavius said with a sigh as he set his phone down on the table.

They were in the newly reopened restaurant in their hotel, The Duck Pad, which was a lily pad and duck themed establishment. The tables were notably shaped like lily pads.

“Well,” Theo hummed. “Either they are having a very unlucky sixth year, or…”

His brow rose when the werewolf trailed off. “Or?”

Theo shrugged. “Or everything is breaking down now because it was shoddily built, and only had five good years to begin with.”

Meow ! Sprinkle called out happily. The kitten was sitting in Theo’s lap, with her guide vest on, looking around cutely.

Despite how adorable she was, Octavius couldn’t help but pout. “I don’t know. It just looked fun when I saw the email…and shiny…and new.”

“Falling apart, but they couldn’t break the container open or turn it off?” Scarlett drawled. There was this odd dullness to her tone that he hadn’t heard in a long time.

Octavius eyed her with a frown, which deepened when she just stared back blankly.

It was…concerning to see her so shut down… And frankly, it made him worry about what was going on in her head. But then…he supposed, he wasn’t shocked by it. This was pretty much her go-to reaction with stressful situations, when they involved her…

Min-ji and her, by proxy, due to the bond, had been in serious danger. As long as the door opened quickly, they’d have likely been able to resuscitate Min-ji in time, even if she had passed out. But if the door hadn’t opened at all…

He shuddered at the thought. Shaking his head, Octavius shoved it aside, refusing to think on the alternatives.

Either way, as normal as it was for her to shut down under such circumstances… Octavius couldn’t help but think that there was perhaps more to it than that… Something he’d seen in her eyes seconds before the pod opened…had just seemed a bit too familiar… The question was, should he press the issue or leave it alone?

Turney sighed. “Maybe they were just incompetent?”

Min-ji took a deep breath in and out. “Let’s just order and eat…” the woman said, her voice still hoarse, before letting out a deep, full body sigh. “I need a nap.”

Octavius had to say, the witch did look exhausted. Then again, she’d been the only one in immediate physical danger.

“Do…” Scarlett started hesitantly.

He eyed her with a frown when she didn’t say more, his frown deepening on noting that her hands were clenched together on the table. Something was definitely off…

Octavius looked at Turney, to see if he had any clue what she was trying to say, and found his zombie bun frowning, his eyes on Scarlett.

Scarlett sighed, before blurting out, “Do you want some energy?”

The question had him wincing and cursing inwardly, as he now knew exactly where Scarlett’s head was, and why it was familiar to him.

Min-ji, however, stared wide-eyed at Scarlett for a few awkwardly silent seconds, before snapping out of her stupor to respond. “No, I don’t.” The witch covered Scarlett’s clenched hands with one of her own. “That is not something I want or need from you.”

Scarlett slowly nodded, her gaze sliding away, but the woman was still as tense as a cat waiting to strike.

Eyeing the two with a frown…Octavius held back. As much as he wanted to poke and prod his stubborn best friend until she told him all she was hiding…him stepping in the middle, while the couple were still dealing with issues around their bond, likely wouldn’t help matters.

Min-ji entered the room behind Scarlett. Following her into the bedroom, she held back her sigh. Min-ji was tired, in more ways than one.

She eyed the zombie. With her back to her, Scarlett stood beside the bed, staring out through the glass balcony doors. Her posture was perfect, yet unbelievably stiff and tense, and not a sound was coming from her. No breathing, no movement, no nothing—a standing corpse.

Before they started dating, Scarlett would get quiet like this whenever Min-ji pushed too hard, or accidently stepped over one too many of the woman’s barriers—just a warning for her to back the fuck off, or else.

But…Min-ji…hadn’t done anything this time. And she was tired… Tired of being shut out, and made to feel bad for something she didn’t do. While she was willing to wait forever until Scarlett let down all of her barriers with her…she wasn’t willing to be blamed for being born a witch.

“Scarlett.”

The zombie’s shoulders tensed further, but she didn’t respond.

Undeterred, Min-ji crossed her arms and asked, “Scarlett, what was that?”

After a couple of minutes of nothing, the zombie sighed. “What was what?”

She rolled her eyes. “You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Min-ji cursed in her head when Scarlett remained silent. “Why would you offer me your energy?”

The silence before the zombie answered was even longer this time, and the woman’s voice was almost robotic when she spoke. “I’m your familiar, what else am I supposed to do?”

Min-ji grimaced. Barely holding herself back from yelling, she roughly ran her hands through her long hair, before taking a shuddered breath. “Scarlett, you’re not being fair here.”

Her heart started to speed up, as the longer the zombie remained silent, the more her anxiety built. “Can’t you at least look at me when I’m talking to you?” she rasped.

Scarlett turned around, and she almost wished she hadn’t. Min-ji’s stomach dropped as she stared into the woman’s empty, emotionless eyes. It was just like the first day she’d met the zombie, there was no warmth there whatsoever.

“I’m not your enemy, Scarlett…” With her arms still crossed, she clenched her hands into fists as they started to shake. “I’m your girlfriend…”

A distressed laugh slipped out as her heart started to ache. She blinked rapidly, holding back the tears that were trying to form by sheer stubbornness.

“But…maybe…it would…be better…if I…wasn’t? Perhaps I’ve been fooling myself into thinking you wouldn’t prefer that.”

Scarlett flinched back, as if she’d hit her, and her words seemed to drag her away from whatever was going on in her head, the emptiness finally clearing as the zombie’s eyes widened. Min-ji felt a brief surge of emotions, too quick to make sense of before they were gone.

“I…” Scarlett swallowed hard. “I wouldn’t…”

Min-ji forced a smile, her lips trembling. “I’m…not so sure about that. I don’t think you can live with what I am… Not with the bond in place.”

She had thought…that maybe…Scarlett had accepted her. But the bond had been a step too far. Min-ji should have realized that. These months since it happened… It was like the walls were slowly closing in, more and more. Min-ji was pretty sure there were times that Scarlett could barely stand to be in the same room with her.

“I can… I can get past it,” Scarlett rasped, taking a step toward her. “I just…”

“Scarlett, it’s not something to get past!” she snapped, despite not meaning to. Min-ji took a shuddered breath, before calmly saying, “I am a witch. It is something you either have to accept, or—” Her voice failed. She took another deep, stuttered breath. “I can’t change what I am. And there is no ignoring it. I think you were before, but the bond won’t let you now.”

“I wasn’t ignoring it. The bond…hasn’t changed what I think about you, or how I feel.”

“How can you say that?!” Min-ji laughed bitterly. “You just said out loud, ‘I’m your familiar, what else am I supposed to do?’ ”

“But I am your?—”

“You are NOT my familiar! You have never been my familiar. I have never asked that of you. I’ve never even suggested it. I told you, since the beginning, that I did not want a familiar, that I do not need one.

“We may have a bond in place that won’t end until death, but I have never tried to use that for my own benefit. I will never use you in that way. So WHY am I being punished over something I had no control over?!”

A tear slipped free, and she didn’t bother to wipe it away, as she knew more were going to quickly follow.

“Why did you bother saving me, Scarlett?! I honestly don’t get it. You dragged me back to life, but act like the person you actually cared about is still dead. Or maybe me thinking you cared for this lowly witch was just me fooling myself again.”

Scarlett stared, her eyes impossibly wide…but as she remained silent, Min-ji’s heart started to break.

“Do you have nothing to say? Or am I just not worth answering?” Swallowing hard, she licked her lips, tasting the saltiness of her own tears. Taking a few deep breaths, as the silence just kept growing around them, Min-ji turned away. “If you need me…I’ll be in Theo’s room.”

Hopefully, the werewolf wouldn’t slam the door in her face…

She took a step towards the door, freezing when a hand suddenly grasped the back of her blouse.

Scarlett’s hand shook where she clutched the back of Min-ji’s blouse. Biting her lip hard enough to draw blood, there was so much she wanted to say, but nothing was coming out. Tears formed in her eyes as her heart raced in panic.

Why was she like this? Why couldn’t she just tell her the truth?! Tell her how she felt? Why couldn’t she just say what she wanted to say?! Why was she such a coward…? A coward that only tried to protect herself…

She’s always been like this. Scarlett always found a way to hide while hurting those around her.

“Scarlett…let me go,” Min-ji said softly.

Her eyes widened. No…no… “I felt the pull,” Scarlett blurted out, the tremble in her voice was too noticeable to her ears.

“The pull?” Min-ji slowly asked.

Scarlett took a deep, shuddered breath. “W-when you were drowning, the bond urged me to give you energy… The last time I felt that… I…”

A shudder ran through her, as she barely managed to hold back the memories that tried to surface, while desperately trying to shove away the numbness that, before this, she’d always embraced, just to bury the pain.

“The…last time,” Min-ji sighed. “Being when you were still trapped in your bond with Audrey?”

“Yes… I didn’t… In that moment…I didn’t…I-I didn’t…see you anymore…” Scarlett admitted shamefully as her tears broke free. “I just saw…a witch… I-I…di-didn’t mean…too… I’m sorry.”

She hugged the woman from behind, hating that she was trembling, hating that she felt so lost, hating that she felt at all.

Pressing her face against Min-ji’s back, she rasped again, “I’m sorry. It just…it was…so strong…and…I… I-I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Min-ji slowly placed her arms on top of hers. “You…don’t need to apologize.”

“I do…I really do… I never meant to… I do care about you, Min-ji. I do… I… I…”

A sob slipped out as the words wouldn’t come… Why was she like this? It wasn’t as hard as she was making it out to be, she knew it wasn’t! Why couldn’t she just be normal?!

“A natural, automatic function of the bond triggered you… You have nothing to apologize about. You felt a pull, stronger than you ever felt, due to the nature of our bond, and it triggered you. Our whole bond is one big trigger to you, Scarlett.” Min-ji swallowed. “I should have seen that sooner. Every time you tense, or get an odd look in your eyes… Me just being near you is hurting you.”

“That’s not true! I—please! Give me another chance!” she pleaded. “I… You… I know you deserve better… You deserve someone who’s not so…dead inside…”

It would be better if she was fully dead inside… If she actually felt nothing, life would be so much easier…

She slowly pulled away from Min-ji, sagging a bit where she stood. She hated this… Feeling…made everything so much harder. Feelings made things hurt so much more. Her chest was aching, and she knew how she felt… But what was the point in any of it, when Scarlett couldn’t even manage to say it out loud?!

She sniffled, hesitantly looking up when Min-ji turned around. Meeting the woman’s watery gaze, a sob slipped out as she cried again, “I’m sorry.”

Min-ji pulled her into her arms as she kept sobbing. Scarlett clung to her, crying harder as one of Min-ji’s hands gently threaded through her hair while the witch continued to hold her tight.