Chapter 9

After everything he'd said to Alvin, Eli had no right to ask him to open the door. He wasn't sure why he was even there, but somehow, he'd driven here and sat outside for a couple of hours. Long enough to see Alvin return with his family. Long enough to notice the lights go on and off, signaling bedtime.

He'd stayed for another twenty minutes before knocking on the door. He'd expected Alvin to turn him away, and he had every right to do so, considering what Eli had done.

"Please open the door." He placed the palm of his hand against the door and waited. He knew Alvin was close by. He could hear him on the other side, and when the door slowly opened, Eli stepped back.

"What do you want? I think we've said everything to say."

"May I come in?"

"Why?"

Eli shrugged. "Why not?"

Alvin shook his head, closing his eyes. "I'm tired. It's been a long week. Say what you want to say, then go."

"I don't want to talk to you out here."

Alvin shook his head again, but opened the door. "Come in," he murmured wearily.

Eli shut the front door and followed Alvin into the living room, where he stood staring up to the ceiling. A soft cry reached Eli's ears, and Alvin shot up the stairs. Eli waited for him, and when he came downstairs, he carried one of the twins. A boy. Slater.

Alvin ignored Eli as he went into the kitchen and got a small plastic cup out and poured some water into it. "Here you go." Slater grabbed it and, with help from Alvin, took small sips. "Better?" Slater nodded, then saw Eli and ducked his head, hiding it in Alvin's chest.

"That's Eli. He's a very important man. He's come to make sure we're all safe and tucked up in bed."

An eye appeared, then disappeared as Slater hid again. Eli stood and didn't have a single clue what to say. "Hey, Slater."

Alvin rolled his eyes. "Say hi to Elliot."

Eli heard a muffled hello, then Alvin disappeared back upstairs. Eli heard the murmur of voices and sat on the sofa to wait for Alvin's return. He had no idea how long it would take to get Slater back to sleep, so he waited. He shouldn't have come.

He'd had a mate. No one has two mates. No one has that second chance, yet here he was, in his mate's home. His mate and family's home. Waiting for him.

Why had he come? Because he couldn't stay away. That had been easier before—when Alvin didn't know about him. Easier when they hadn't locked eyes, easier when they hadn't spoken. Eli could forget about or at least push him from his mind, but now Alvin knew. Alvin had looked him in the eyes, and Eli had seen the knowledge in them.

He sat and listened to the soft voices and then quiet descended. A couple of minutes later, Eli heard the soft tread of footfalls down the stairs and stood when Alvin entered the room. Alvin glanced at him, shook his head, then went into the kitchen and grabbed a glass, then turned the tap on. Eli watched and waited as he filled the glass with water, turn the tap off, then Alvin turned to face him.

"What do you want?"

Eli could see the exhaustion on his face. "I wanted to make sure you were safe."

"Now you have. Why are you still here?"

"Can we sit and talk?"

"No." Alvin finished the water, then placed the empty glass in the sink. "You said all you needed to the other night. Go back to avoiding me. It's what you're good at."

"I did avoid you. I told you I had a mate. I wasn't expecting you."

"And with this miraculous second chance, you decided to throw it away." Alvin sucked his lips in, then nodded. "Gotcha. Door's over there. Make sure it's closed on your way out." Alvin pointed toward the front door.

"I would like us to sit down and talk."

"Well, we don't always get what we want, do we?" Alvin pointed to the front door again. "Goodbye, Elliot." Alvin sounded drained, like all the energy had disappeared, and Eli resisted the urge to comfort his mate.

"I've seen things."

"Good for you." Alvin closed his eyes. "Sorry. I'm sure you have. You were military and then this." Alvin waved his hand in the air.

"I was a Navy SEAL. Did you know that?"

"I think someone might have told me. Oh yeah, you did." Alvin glanced at him, then away. "Did you see things? Do things?"

"I did. I'm not an easy man to get along with."

"Why are you telling me this? You've told me we have no future together. I've accepted it, and I'm moving on with my life. I want a life. A life where I'm more than this."

"You devalue yourself, Alvin. You stepped up when many would have walked away."

"I would never leave them, and I didn't mean them, anyway. I meant here. Morefield Village."

Eli's eyes widened. "You're considering leaving?"

"The thought has popped into my head." Alvin shrugged. "Why would I stay here? What could keep me here? A mate?" Alvin scoffed. "I don't have one of those, do I? You said so, so why would I stay here and be reminded constantly that you rejected me?" Pushing away from the counter, Alvin pointed to the front door again. "I asked you to leave. Please go."

"Alvin—"

"No." The word was so soft Eli barely heard it, but he did hear it.

Eli walked over to Alvin and stood in front of him. "I need to keep you safe."

"Ah, the mate thing you don't want. Can't help having those urges to protect. Shame for both of us that you rejected that." Alvin looked up at him, and Eli could see the tears swimming in his eyes. He reached out to touch him, but Alvin smacked his hand away. "You gave up that right."

Eli ground his teeth together. He didn't like feeling this way, like he had no control over the situation. He always knew what to do, how to act, and yet he was lost as he stared into his mate's hurt eyes. "I can't seem to stay away."

"Tough shit. You made the decision for both of us, and now we're here."

Eli stepped back, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "I may have made a mistake."

"What?" Alvin shook his head hard and pushed past Eli. "You bastard." Spinning around, Alvin glared at him. "‘I may have made a mistake?' A mistake?" He got louder as he spoke, then snapped his mouth shut. "You need to leave," he whispered.

"Please. Can we talk?" Eli wasn't one for begging, and this felt exactly like that, but he couldn't leave, so what choice did he have?

"What could we possibly have to say to one another? I say yes and we talk and then you decide nope and leave? I'm not putting myself through that."

"I know I have no right?—"

"Yeah, you have no right." Alvin glared at him with narrowed eyes. "Get the fuck out, Elliot."

Eli shook his head and grabbed Alvin, kissing him. Alvin pushed him away, or tried to, but Eli wasn't letting go. "Alvin?—"

"Stop."

Eli moved his head back and stared into Alvin's blue eyes. "I can't," he whispered.

"Don't do this to me. Don't kiss me like before, then disappear. You either stay or you go, but I'm not playing this game."

"It isn't a game." Eli pushed Alvin away and turned around. "This shouldn't be happening. My mate died. I held her as she died. I watched the life drain from her body." Turning back around to face Alvin, Eli murmured, "How are you my mate?"

Alvin bit his lip and shook his head. "I'm sorry."

"You deserve better than an old shifter like me. I've seen too much." Eli locked eyes with Alvin. "I've done too much. My hands aren't clean. You are…" He shook his head. "You're too good for me."

"How can you say that? You fought for this country. You bled for it, and now you're here, trying to keep us safe."

"I've murdered for this country." Eli grabbed Alvin's arms. "I've been sent on missions to kill, and I did it."

"You followed orders. Did what any good soldier would do."

"I wasn't always a good soldier." Eli's eyes searched Alvin. "A good soldier wouldn't have done the things I did."

"You were ordered though, right? You followed orders." Alvin's lip trembled, and he bit it. Eli reached up and gently eased it from between his teeth. He should leave. He shouldn't be here; he'd done so fucking well staying away, but…

"I have dreams," he murmured. "Nightmares. Sometimes I wake up on the floor, sometimes I'm screaming. Why would you want to witness that?"

"Because I'm your mate." So simple, the words Alvin whispered, but so full of meaning.

Eli rested his forehead on Alvin's. "Alvin…"

"Just give us a chance. One chance."

"What if I hurt you?"

"You already have." Eli winced and lifted his head, moving away, but he didn't get far. Alvin held his hand and tugged, and Eli moved back to him. Willingly. He'd spent so long fighting it. Years of staying away. It had been easier when Alvin didn't know. Easier for Eli to watch from afar, to keep his mate and his family safe. The pull had never been as strong as it was now. And he was tired. Tired of patrolling and fighting and strategizing, and he wanted something, someone he could call home. His mate.

When Alvin palmed his cheek, Eli leaned into the touch, the heat seeping into his skin and warming him up inside. "Alvin…"

"Please."

Eli slid his lips over Alvin's, closing his eyes. Alvin's breath ghosted across his lips as he kissed him again. Alvin kissed him back, and Eli pulled him close, wrapping his arms around him. Alvin's hands trembled where he rested them on Eli's shoulders, and Eli tightened his hold on his mate.

"Shhh. I've got you," he murmured, before licking Alvin's lips.

Alvin gasped and Eli took advantage, slipping his tongue inside to slide against Alvin's. Alvin moaned and kissed him back, teasing Eli's tongue as his fingers dug into the muscle on Eli's shoulders. Eli bent and picked Alvin up, swallowing the loud gasp he made.

Laying him on the floor, he hovered over him, his eyes drinking in his mate before laying on top of him and kissing him again. Alvin spread his legs, and Eli settled between them, his tongue darting in and out of his mate's mouth, his hips thrusting on Alvin's.

Alvin broke the kiss and arched up, his hands pulling at Eli's coat. Eli shrugged it off, then pulled his T-shirt off as well, and Alvin slid his hands over Eli's hot skin. Eli kissed him again, leaning to one side so he could slide his hand under Alvin's shirt. He stroked his fingers over one of Alvin's nipples, feeling Alvin groan and jerk beneath him.

He moved down and, at the same time, pushed Alvin's shirt up and latched onto one of his nipples. He sucked until it hardened, then flicked it with his tongue, listening to the sounds Alvin made. Moving to his other nipple, he licked across it, then blew on it, feeling Alvin's body shudder beneath him.

"Eli," Alvin murmured.

"I have you."

"Don't let me go." Eli stopped and moved so he could look into Alvin's eyes. "Please. If you're going to leave me again, tell me this isn't going to happen, then don't do this now."

Eli stared into Alvin's blue eyes, drowning in them, the emotions so clear to him. "I'm not a good man."

"I don't want a good man. I just want you however I can get you. If this is for one night, then tell me, but don't lead me on thinking we're beginning something when we're not. I don't want to hurt like that."

"I want you to know what you're getting into. I'm not right. I've seen too much, done too much. I barely sleep some nights."

"Then let me be there for you." Alvin reached up and stroked Eli's cheek. "Please."