Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

RYDER

I was riding the high of Faith agreeing to going to a cooking class with me. When Faith asked after a dinner of cheese quesadillas if we could practice riding her bike, I'd said yes.

I wanted to spend more time with her, and for now, she seemed to want that too. Maybe she missed me more now that I didn't live with her. Whatever the reason, I was going to soak up every minute I could with her.

I didn't even think about the fact that Violet might be visiting with her grandfather. It was a nice surprise, and that Faith asked her to walk with us was an extra bonus.

She wore the same navy T-shirt dress with white sneakers she'd worn at the shop. It hugged every curve and looked amazing when she had been shaking her hips to the music earlier today. Her hair was pulled back into numerous complicated braids that ended in a simple ponytail.

It wasn't like I was seeking her out. Except for today at the shop.

We'd gone on a boat tour and were close enough to Violet's shop that it made sense to go to hers. Plus, her ice cream was good. Who else served Fruit Loop flavor? Not that I liked it, but it was still neat.

Faith pushed the pedals riding ahead of us on the sidewalk.

"She's doing great on the bike," Violet said as we watched her ride.

"It was all you."

Violet smiled. "It was nothing."

"I think Faith was embarrassed that she's so old and didn't know how to ride. She didn't want other kids to see her struggling. So moving off the sidewalk and to the park was the push she needed."

"I'm glad I could help." There was a bounce to Violet's step I hadn't noticed before.

"Are you sure you want to take time on your day off to teach us how to make ice cream?"

Faith stopped walking and placed a hand on my forearm. "Actually, you're helping me. I was looking for a way to share what makes my shop unique. And hosting classes would be perfect. Faith gave me the idea, and I can use my meeting with her to tweak ideas for a group class."

"You came up with all of that this afternoon?" I asked, impressed by the way her mind worked.

"When I get a business idea, I brainstorm the possibilities and research them. Then I implement it. If it doesn't work, I'll try something else."

"Wow. A true entrepreneur. Not afraid to fail."

"I'm still afraid. I just know there's no wins without trying something new."

Faith stopped at each intersection and glanced over her shoulder at us. I was working on giving her more freedom, so I let her go ahead. It was hard to release the fear and worry, the things I'd seen on the job. "The other ice-cream shops better be on their game."

Violet grinned. "You're sweet."

I wanted to say not as sweet as you or your ice cream, but that would make me sound like a sap. I'd been out of the dating game for a while, but I was fairly sure I'd sound lame. "I'm just happy that Faith wants to do things with me."

Stacy wouldn't like that I was taking Faith to cooking classes. She'd take it as an affront to her, like I was criticizing her for not teaching her, when it was something I wanted to do with my daughter.

"I know she's not a teen yet. But I thought those years were tough. I remember not wanting to do anything with my family. I'd prefer to hang out with friends."

"You weren't close to your sister?" I wanted to know more about her.

"My parents were so proud of her, comparing me to her, and I always fell short. I think I grew to resent her."

Ryder shook his head. "I was close to my siblings. Especially after my mother died."

Violet glanced over at me. "I'm sorry about your mother."

"It was a long time ago."

"I think that's why I moved home, to get away from my sister and her accomplishments. It was hard to breathe around them. I was constantly reminded of all the ways I didn't measure up. Here, it's just me."

"And your grandfather is proud of you."

"That too. I love being close enough to him that I can drop by after work and check on him."

I bumped her shoulder with mine. "You know he doesn't need anyone to check on him. He's one of the strongest guys I know."

Violet chuckled. "He walks four miles every day."

"And he talks to everyone in the neighborhood. Everyone loves him."

"That's good to hear."

At the next stop sign, Faith turned her bike around and moved back in our direction. "This is usually where we turn around."

We continued to follow Faith to our house. We walked in companionable silence. Neither of us felt the need to fill it with small talk.

Our home was a few down from Violet's grandfather's. It was a two story, a little bigger than his, and it had a two-car garage.

I waved at the house. "This is us. I'd better get her inside for her shower, then bedtime."

Violet turned slightly to go. "It was nice talking to you. See you on Monday."

She left and there was no reason to call her back. We weren't dating. She was just someone I kept running into. I forced myself not to watch her ass in that dress as she walked away.

Inside, I bugged Faith to take a shower and get ready for bed. It was lights-out at nine, but she could read before she fell asleep.

It gave me a lot of time to myself to think. Especially when Faith was at Stacy's. I was essentially a bachelor.

I wasn't sure I wanted to start dating, even though I was attracted to Violet. I needed to focus on Faith and ensure she was going to be okay. But it was harmless to fantasize about Violet. Even if nothing came from it.

W hen Faith was at her mom's, I worked long hours at the office. It was necessary because I was trying to prove myself in this new position. It also served the dual purpose of keeping me from going home to an empty house.

It wasn't that I wanted to stay married to Stacy. Even I could see how bad things had gotten over the years. But all I ever wanted was a family. Now it felt like I'd missed out on the opportunity. I had Faith but only saw her on weekends. This wasn't how I predicted my life going.

I hated the back-and-forth. I swore I'd never do this with my kids. But then it wasn't my decision. Stacy was the one who wanted a divorce, then started dating someone almost immediately.

I wondered if she'd eventually move this guy into our house, the one we'd shared together. If Faith would have a stepdad. If she'd want to spend less time with me as she got older. If she'd ask me to stop coming around all together.

It was easy to spiral when it was just me. That's why I spent so much time at work. There were no improvements to be made at the house, not when I was renting.

The only thing I could do was check on George, and he didn't need anyone looking in on him. He was the most active eighty-something-year-old I'd met.

One evening, I was restless after dinner and decided to go for a second run. George was outside mowing. I wiped the sweat from my forehead with my shirt and stopped to wave at him.

He turned off the motor. "I haven't seen you around much."

"I run in the morning, then work." All day. Order take-out instead of learning to cook. Although that's what I should have been doing. Practicing recipes so I could manage something besides boxed mac and cheese and quesadillas when Faith was visiting.

"You must work long hours."

I looked away. "Gotta keep busy when Faith's with her mother."

"I can understand that. Violet mentioned she was going to show Faith how she makes ice cream."

"On Monday when the shop's closed. Faith's excited about it."

George leveled me with a look. "Violet's a nice girl."

I slowly nodded, not sure where this was going. "She is."

George sighed heavily. "She tends to date guys who take advantage of her big heart."

I held up my hands. "We're not dating."

George shook his head. "I didn't say you were. But I can see how you look at her. You're interested."

I nodded. "She's lucky to have someone like you looking after her."

George snorted. "She'd be pissed if she found out I'd talked to you about her. She's an independent one."

"That she is." A lot like her grandfather.

"I don't want her to get hurt again."

I wondered who'd hurt her before, but it wasn't my business. George was right. Violet deserved someone who didn't have the baggage I came with, the ex, and the kid. Even if she seemed to enjoy our company. "I don't intend to hurt Violet." Mainly because I had no intention of getting involved with her, past our friendship.

"That's good. She might not like me looking out for her, but that's what family's for."

I nodded. "My family's close too. I get that."

"Your family is the one that owns that tree farm?"

"That's right. Pine Valley Farms."

His brow furrowed. "You involved with the business?"

"Not since I've been home, but the rest of the family is. I'm invited to business meetings but don't run the day-to-day. I'm too busy with work."

"Make sure you don't work so much that you forget to enjoy your life."

"It's hard to fill my time now that I don't have a family to come home to." My chest ached to admit that.

But George nodded, respect shining in his eyes. "You're welcome to stop by any evening. I'm usually sitting on the porch talking to whoever walks by."

"That sounds nice. Thank you."

He waved me off impatiently. "Now get on with your run. I've got mowing to do."

"Are you sure you don't want help with that?"

George shot me a disgruntled look. "I'm not too old that I can't mow my lawn. Now get out of here."

I chuckled as I walked in the direction of home. George was the best, and I loved that he was looking out for Violet.

Talking to George was a good reminder that I didn't have anything to offer Violet. I was broken after my divorce. I couldn't make it work with Stacy. Why would I think it could work with someone else?

At home, I jumped in the shower, then called Faith before it was too late.

"Can I say good night to Faith?" I asked Stacy.

"She's talking with a friend online." Stacy sounded distracted, as if she was reading something on her phone at the same time.

My heart twisted. I hated being this far away from Faith. "It will only take a minute."

"You know, Faith is busier now. She's going to be involved in more activities at school. She has friends, and eventually she'll have a boyfriend."

"She's twelve." She was still my little girl, wasn't she? I couldn't believe that Faith was so preoccupied with her social life that she didn't want to talk to me.

"Can you please tell her I'm on the phone?" I didn't want to mention our separation agreement, but nightly phone calls were referenced. We weren't supposed to block access when the other parent had physical custody. I wanted to maintain the connection we built over the weekend even when she was with Stacy.

Stacy sighed. "Before I hand you off, can you take her again this weekend? I want to do something with Phil, and he doesn't want to have all the kids along."

I didn't like that Stacy didn't want to include Faith in her weekend plans. But I'd take any opportunity to spend more time with Faith. Then we could meet Violet at her shop on Monday for her to show us how to make a new flavor. "Sure."

"Great. Thanks." I heard her footsteps, the door creak open to Faith's room. If I was still living there, I would have oiled it. But it wasn't my responsibility anymore.

"Faith. Your father's on the phone."

A few seconds later, Faith said, "Dad?"

"Hey, baby. How are you?" I missed her so much. There was something about not being able to see her every night that tore me up inside.

"Good." Then she rattled off everything that happened at school that day, the slight from her best friend, the gross school lunch, how hard her math teacher was, and then finally, she paused to yawn.

"I'd better let you get to bed."

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you too."

"When are you moving back?"

I hesitated because I wasn't sure I would be. "This position is temporary. but it's up to the higher-ups where I go next. Could be here or in D.C."

"Not Virginia?" she asked hopefully.

"I already worked there for too many years. They like to move us around. Kind of like the military." It was the closest thing I could compare it to. My life wasn't my own, and I got paid to be on call and move every few years.

"That sucks."

"It does because I miss you."

"I'll see you this weekend?"

"Yeah, I just talked to your mother about it. I'll pick you up on Friday night, and we'll grab pizza. How does that sound?"

"I can't wait to go to Violet's shop to see how she makes ice cream."

"Me too." I was looking forward to spending time with my daughter and Violet.

We said good night, and I fell back on my pillows. I was amped up from my run and the talk with Faith. She hadn't asked for my opinion on anything; she just wanted me to listen. And I hoped that since I did, she'd come to me if she ever needed help. Like if she was drunk at a party or was in trouble.

Parenthood was stressful, especially when I wasn't close by. I couldn't drop in at a moment's notice. It wasn't ideal. But I didn't see any way around it. My job was here for now.