Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

VIOLET

I woke to the smell of pancakes and muffled voices. I wasn't sure when Ryder had slipped out of the room, but I was glad he had the wherewithal to do it. I'd fallen into a deep sleep after he'd given me that orgasm.

I needed more, but he'd held us back. When he was grinding his cock against me, I wanted nothing more than to feel him inside me bare. It was reckless.

I was glad he'd held himself together and acted with sense. Because I was out of control when I was with Ryder.

I didn't want to think about the consequences or the what-ifs. I was my usual impulsive self, throwing caution to the wind and living in the moment with him.

At least one of us was sensible. I jumped in the shower to clean up quickly from last night, then used his toothpaste on my finger to brush my teeth. Then I finger combed my hair as best I could. My hair was thick, straight, and knotted easily.

I pulled on my clothes from yesterday hoping it wouldn't be awkward for Faith that I'd slept over last night. Maybe Ryder had explained the situation to her.

I followed the sounds of talking to the kitchen where Faith was eating pancakes at the island, and Ryder stood at the counter in a black T-shirt and gray sweats.

"Morning," I said with a little wave.

Faith lifted her head. "You stayed overnight?"

"My car was at home, and I didn't want to leave you alone last night." I hovered at the end of the counter, unsure of my role.

Faith cut a piece of pancake and carefully dipped it into maple syrup. "I would have been okay."

"Well, I don't like doing that unless we've talked about it ahead of time. I wouldn't want you to wake up alone," Ryder said to Faith.

"It wasn't a big deal." In fact, it worked out better than we could have imagined. I got some much-needed time alone with Ryder.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep in the car." Faith took a large bite of pancake.

"It was a long day," Ryder said to her, and then smiled at me. "Pancakes?"

"Yes, please." I sat next to Faith, wondering if this was how mornings would always be at Ryder's house when Faith was home.

Ryder stacked a couple of pancakes on a plate, then slid it over to me. "Coffee?"

"Please." It felt a little weird to be served because it was usually me cooking breakfast for my guests or just for myself.

"What are your plans for the day?" I asked them.

"We haven't decided yet. Maybe we'll drive to a ski resort in Pennsylvania and go snow tubing."

"That sounds fun."

"It's nice to have some time off." Ryder stood and ate his pancakes.

The kitchen was messy from his efforts to cook. It wasn't the sterile kitchen we'd had growing up. Mom enjoyed a spotless house, and my messy ways irritated her.

The lingering thoughts that I wasn't good enough for my parents threatened to spoil the day.

Ryder was a good man. He loved his job, his daughter, and he genuinely wanted a family.

Would I fit in, or would he decide that I didn't measure up? I tried to shake off the doubt and eat my pancakes.

"You work today, right?" Ryder asked as he rinsed his dish and placed it in the dishwasher.

"During the day, but Julia's closing for me."

"Want to come over afterward? We can get something for dinner and watch a movie."

"That would be great."

He was making an effort to include me in his life, and I appreciated that. I just needed to clear the doubts, or they'd be the end of us.

I helped him clean the kitchen. Then I waved goodbye to Faith. She was going to watch TV while he drove me home.

In the truck, I said, "She seemed okay with me staying overnight."

"She found me on the couch. I can't imagine what she would have thought if she'd come to my room and found us together."

That was a good reminder to be careful and not get lost in the moment. We had a twelve-year-old girl's feelings to consider. "I didn't even hear you slip out last night."

He flashed a smile in my direction. "I can be a ninja when I want to be."

"Sorry I didn't return the favor last night."

He glanced over at me. "I told you last night was for you. We'll have plenty of time."

"I'm looking forward to it," I said, and his eyes heated.

"Me too."

The fact that we had to be careful because of Faith ratchetted up my desire for him. We had small moments, and we had to make them count.

He pulled in front of my house. "You'll come over tonight?"

"I'm looking forward to it."

"Lately, I have Faith on the weekends. That puts a cramp in our dating life."

That didn't deter me. I looked at it as a way to slow down. "There's still the weekdays."

"I work longer hours on the weekdays so I can see Faith on the weekend."

"Your daughter comes first."

He reached over and touched my hand. "I want you to feel cherished too."

Had anyone ever said that to me? The words wrapped around my heart like a warm blanket, and tears stung my eyes. "Walk me to my door?" If I stayed in the cab of his truck any longer, I'd be falling into old patterns, telling him how much I liked him and wanted to be with him. For once, I had to play it cool.

My heart couldn't take any more breaks.

At the door, I felt like I'd made the walk of shame in this quiet neighborhood, wearing the clothes I had on yesterday.

But when Ryder stepped up to me, his hand tucking my hair behind my ear, his expression so tender, I forgot about everything else. It all fell away until it was just him and me.

"Thank you for an amazing day."

My lips twitched. "It's not over. I'll see you tonight."

"While you're working, I hope you think of me."

My cheeks flushed at the memory of his mouth between my legs. "You made sure of that last night."

He smiled. "Good."

Then he slowly lowered his head, touching his lips to mine. My hands curled around the lapels of his jacket. I could get used to this. He smelled so good, like evergreen and sandalwood. A combination I wouldn't have thought I'd like.

He kept his touch light, but I felt it down to my toes. When he pulled back, he said gruffly. "Have a good day."

"I will now." He'd given me a spectacular orgasm last night and then a kiss to remember this morning.

A t work, I messed up so many orders that I finally left the front to Morgan, and buried myself in spreadsheets in the office.

Profits were up, but not enough that I could breathe easier yet. There was still the possibility; sales could go down, and I'd be forced to close up shop. Then I'd have no choice but to move home. My heart constricted at the thought.

The competition in town was fierce, even though the number of customers wasn't the issue. It was a busy tourist town with locals and out-of-towners flooding the streets in the evenings and weekends.

It was a matter of drawing them away from the chains and the frozen yogurt store.

I brainstormed ideas to bring in more customers, but short of spending more on advertising, I didn't come up with anything viable.

Maybe I should've talked to that marketing consultant that the Calloways kept referring to. I thought she was Cole's sister. Maybe she could've helped me.

At lunch, there was a delivery from Ryder of flowers and food from a restaurant down the street . I placed the bouquet with its array of sunflowers and orange and red flowers in the front where everyone could see them. When I sat down to eat in my office. I texted Ryder, figuring he was snow tubing by now.

Thank you for lunch and the flowers.

Then I dug into my shrimp-salad sub.

A few minutes later, he responded.

I didn't want you to forget to eat lunch.

That was thoughtful of you.

And you seem to enjoy flowers.

I love them, and I never think to buy them for myself.

Good to know.

Would Ryder make it a habit to buy me flowers? No man had ever sent me flowers before. I wanted him to know how much I appreciated the thought. Ryder paid attention to me.

I munched on the chips when an image came through of Ryder on an inner tube with Faith in front of him.

How fun!

This hill is pure ice. I think my life flashed before my eyes.

A big bad FBI agent afraid of a little ice and a bunny hill?

I enjoyed teasing him. I felt lighter than I had in a long time.

I'm a supervisor now. Not in the field as much.

Did you lose your badassery-ness?

I haven't. And I'm going to prove it.

I'm looking forward to that.

The texts stopped, and I assumed he was too busy snow tubing with his daughter. I had to trust that this thing with Ryder was real. That he wasn't going to turn the tables on me, telling me I saw something that wasn't there.

He knew my history, and he wouldn't lead me on if he didn't feel the same way.

A few hours later, when Ryder texted to say they were close to home and needed to pick something up to eat, I called him.

I assumed I was on speaker phone in his truck. "Want me to pick up pizza or something quick?"

"How do you feel about sushi?" Ryder asked, and I shivered from the tingle his voice gave me.

"Love it."

"Do you know a good place?"

"I do actually." There were several, but only one was my go-to.

"If you could pick it up, then I'll have time to shower when we get home?"

"No problem." I'd gone out of my way to take care of my boyfriends in the past, but this wasn't like that. I was helping him. It was a give-and-take. He'd ordered me lunch, and I was picking up dinner for us. This wasn't a one-sided relationship.

I placed an order on my phone, before saying goodbye to Julia who'd replaced Morgan at the counter. Then I headed toward the restaurant. Inside, I was surprised to see Beau, my most recent ex, waiting for take-out. I took a deep breath. "Beau, how are you doing?"

He grunted an answer, giving me a disgusted look, probably because he thought I was still hung up on him. "What are you doing here?"

Instead of reminding him this was my favorite sushi restaurant because he didn't pay attention enough to know that, I said, "I'm picking up dinner."

"What's your order number?"the hostess asked me, and when I told her, she handed me several large bags.

"That's a lot of food for one person." Beau's voice was curious.

"It's actually for three. Have a good night. It was great to see you." And even better to show myself that I wasn't hung up on old boyfriends. I'd moved on. I was in a healthy relationship, and I was confident in a way I wasn't before.

I hoped it wasn't my imagination that he watched my ass on the way out. I'd worn a flowery yellow dress with leggings and boots.

My guy had sent flowers and lunch, and I was going home to him and his daughter. Could this day get any better? I'd even seen an ex and not been shaken up by it. Because he didn't matter anymore. I'd healed from those relationships, and I was moving on.

This thing with Ryder felt different. I wasn't falling too soon or seeing things that weren't there. I could trust myself. Finally.

When I parked next to Ryder's truck, my door opened before I could grab the to-go bags. I turned to smile at Ryder, and he grabbed the plastic bags of food, leaning down to kiss me.

"What was that for?"

"I couldn't wait to kiss you, and Faith's inside."

I climbed out of the car and closed the door. "Thank you for the flowers and lunch."

"Did you like them?"

"They were perfect."

Ryder gave me a sheepish look. "I asked the owner at the restaurant for your usual order."

"That was so nice of you. You're too good to me." I paused after I said that, not quite liking how the words felt on my lips.

"I'm just getting started, so get used to it." He growled as he stepped into my body.

I sighed into his mouth as he kissed me again. If Stacy had rebuffed his efforts to take care of her, I was going to enjoy every second.

The kiss deepened, his scent surrounding me. It was a good thing he was holding the food because this could get out of hand quickly. When he finally pulled away, he said, "I missed you."

My cheeks heated. "It was only a few hours."

Ryder grinned.

Maybe he had to hide his true character, the protective romantic side from his wife. But I loved it. I'd always been independent. I'd had to be because my parents didn't support my passions, and no one else had ever offered to.

But with Ryder, it felt good. I could be independent and get support from him. It wasn't one or the other. I wasn't weaker because Ryder sent me lunch I could get myself. "We'd better go inside before Faith wonders what happened to you."

Ryder stepped back, still holding the bags of sushi. I closed the door behind me. As we walked toward the door, my legs felt shaky from that kiss. "Is that how you're always going to greet me?"

Ryder chuckled. "If Faith isn't in viewing distance."

I opened the door for him since his hands were full.

"You get the sushi?" Faith asked from the living room.

Ryder moved into the room, setting the bags on the table. "I figured we'd eat in front of the TV."

"Sounds perfect." It was something I did when I ate alone, but it would be so much better doing it with someone else.

We arranged the sushi so everyone could grab what they wanted, and Faith queued up a kid's movie. It was one with a lot of animals, and I thought it would be for younger kids, but the humor was fantastic, and I found myself riveted to the screen.

When the scene at the Motor Vehicle Administration came on, and we realized it was run by sloths, we howled with laughter and watched it over and over again.

When the movie was finally done, Ryder prompted Faith to go to bed, and there was only minimal pushback. I took the opportunity to clean up our trash from dinner.

"You don't have to do that. I can get it in a minute."

"It's no trouble," I said as I took it to the kitchen, cleaning out the plastic containers for recycling and throwing out the leftovers.

It felt domestic to be in his kitchen while he helped Faith get to bed. When he walked down the steps ten minutes later, I was just finishing up.

He came up behind me, his arms banding around my middle as his chin rested on my shoulder. "I like seeing you in my kitchen."

"Mmm. You like your woman barefoot in the kitchen?" I teased as I turned in his arms.

"Something like that." He lowered his head, his lips touching mine.

I pulled back after a few soft kisses. "What about Faith?"

"She falls asleep quickly." He glanced at the clock. "We can watch TV in my room for a bit."

"Okay." I hadn't planned on sleeping over again. I thought he'd want to keep it platonic with his daughter here. But I'd take whatever I could get.

Ryder made me feel things I never had before, and our relationship had moved from contemplating dating to me staying overnight. It felt fast but right at the same time.

We moved to his room, sitting on top of the comforter. He put on a sitcom, one I wasn't paying any attention to. I was hyperaware of his thigh resting against mine, his arm thrown over the top of the pillows, his fingers playing with the ends of my hair.

I felt like a live wire by the time he leaned in close and said, "I think she's asleep."

The bedroom door was already locked, and my heart was pounding. Was this when we did more of what we had last night? Would he want to go further? Was he comfortable playing around with Faith asleep in her bed down the hall?

I licked my lips, and his gaze fell to track the movement. "What did you have in mind?"

He urged me closer, and I threw one leg over his lap to straddle him. "This is a good start."

I settled over his lap, his hardening cock underneath me. "Mmm. I like this."

His hand drew my neck down so that he could kiss me, and I ground over his cock through my leggings. I wanted more, so much more. But I wasn't sure if he was ready for that. Had he hooked up with anyone since Stacy walked away from him? Was I his first?

Would he regret this immediately afterwards? I didn't want to be his rebound, but I couldn't seem to tap into that logic while his tongue explored my mouth.

His fingers played with the hem of my dress. "Can I take this off?"

I nodded, my breath ragged. I helped him ease it over my head. Then he threw it somewhere off the bed. His gaze was drawn to my breasts that were barely contained in the light blue bra I'd chosen for tonight.

It was sweet yet sexy, the perfect combination. And Ryder might have been the only man who'd looked at me with such reverence. "You're gorgeous."

Then he reached around and unhooked the clasp as if he'd done it a hundred times before. The straps fell off my shoulders, and I let it fall to the bed.

My nipples were hard, begging for his attention. He cupped a breast as he leaned in and took the nipple into his mouth. I groaned as I arched into him, needing more.

His wet mouth on my nipple drove me impossibly higher. My movements over him were shaky and uncoordinated. I needed more.

"You need me?" Ryder asked as he pulled back, then moved to the other nipple.

"Yes." I was afraid to ask for more when I wasn't sure if he was going to change his mind. Decide this wasn't what he wanted, or it was too soon. I felt myself holding back, bracing myself for the inevitable pullback. It would have been understandable.

Ryder picked me up and set me to the side while he removed his shirt, then shoved his pants down, then off. It happened so quickly; all I could do was track his movements and admire the large swaths of skin available for me to view.

His pecs were hard, and his abs defined. A fine smattering of hair led the way under his boxer briefs. The bulge underneath was large and straining. I wanted to ease his discomfort. I went up on my knees and hooked my fingers in the waist band.

He lifted his hips so that I could pull them off. I tossed them behind me, then feasted my eyes on his cock. It was larger than any I'd seen, hard as a rock, and leaking precum. I wanted more.

I gripped the base, mesmerized by the way it jerked from my touch. Then I followed my instinct to lick off the wetness on the tip.

His hips bucked off the bed. "You're killing me."

"In the best way possible?" I asked before I took him inside my mouth.

I sensed his heated gaze on my face, and for once in my life, I felt powerful. As if I was the only one who could make him feel this good. I squeezed the base, alternating licking the tip and sucking him into my mouth. Each time I hollowed my mouth, he flexed his fingers as if he was holding himself back.

I pulled off. "You can touch me."

One hand rested tentatively in my hair as if he was afraid to use too much pressure. I closed my eyes, humming around his length. He was an ice-cream cone I wanted to devour. He was my favorite flavor I couldn't get enough of.

With a strangled groan, he pulled me up so that I was next to his hip. "I want to see you naked."

He helped me get out of my leggings and panties, not wasting any time dipping his fingers into my wetness.

I whimpered as his fingers eased inside me. It was nice, but I wanted more. I wanted his cock filling me up.

He moved over me as if he could read my mind, grabbing a condom from his nightstand. "Are you sure about this."

I nodded, never surer about anything. This was the boy I'd latched onto in second grade. The one I felt safe enough to ask to be my boyfriend, then proceeded to hold his hand and act out a wedding ceremony in front of our friends at recess.

I wondered if I sensed that we were meant for each other back then. Or was it that connection that made things easier now?

When he lined his cock up with my entrance, my legs spread wider to accommodate him. I lost my train of thought.

His gaze was intent on the spot where his cock was slowly entering me. I closed my eyes to savor the feel of him inside me. He eased in a few inches, then paused before pulling out and sliding farther inside. He was giving me a chance to adjust to his girth.

My heart squeezed painfully. Everything this man did made me like him even more. He was thoughtful and kind and considerate in bed.

But I wanted him to let loose. I wanted him a little wild. I wanted the suit-wearing single dad to let go only with me.

I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him down to me so I could kiss him. His movements were less measured, his hips moving instinctually.

This wasn't the carefully controlled Ryder. This was him losing control, and I loved every minute of it. I ran my nails down his back lightly to gauge his response. He growled as he thrust harder.

I whimpered, powerless to control his response anymore. I was limp in his arms, desperate for him to help me over the edge. I needed something. My body was strung tight, and with each pass of his cock, the burning sensation was more intense.

"Ryder. Please."

He lifted back slightly so he could ease a hand between our bodies that were slick with sweat. When his thumb touched my clit, I jerked in response. I bit my lip as he continued the onslaught of his cock thrusting inside me and his thumb pressing against my clit.

I stilled right before my body detonated, exploding into a million bright stars. He braced his hands on either side of me and redoubled his efforts, sliding in and out of me with ease. "I love watching you come."

I was lost in him, the intensity and determination I observed in his gaze. With one final thrust, he shook over me, his body trembling as he came down. He lowered his body so that his weight rested on top of me.

His head rested in the space between my neck and shoulder. He kissed lightly there before easing up and off me. He took care of the condom as he walked, tossing it in the trash in the bathroom. I heard the water come on. The door to the bathroom was open, the light still off.

Then he was on the bed, a wet washcloth between my legs. He cleaned me, then tossed it in the corner. Then he gathered me to him. He kissed my temple.

"Any regrets?" I forced myself to ask lightly. I'd understand if there were.

"None." He said it with such confidence; my body relaxed into his, and I reveled in the feel of his naked skin against mine.