Chapter 9

nine

River

While Lily pops into the bathroom to make herself more presentable for this sort of reintroduction to the town (her words, not mine), I pace the apartment.

"Seriously, Lil, if you want me to just go pick up something I can. We can order something, or I can pop down and grab left overs from the kitchen. I think the line cooks left some stuff wrapped up from the last family meal," I call through the door, but get no reply. Stalking up a little closer I hear something and realize I'm eavesdropping on a conversation.

"I'm not too worse for the wear, maybe a little sweaty… although, Belinda would be mad my hair is so frizzy." There are some rustling noises, and then I hear her sigh. "Better, but I still need something." More bags are shifting, and I'm about to knock when I hear something I absolutely should not. "Come on, Lily. Show everyone that you are happy. Shoulders back. Chin up. Confident body language. Confident, not smug. No, that's not confident, now you're just flirting with yourself. Do not go there, Lily, River may have gotten hot, but he's still completely off-limits. Get in. Get out. Get back to your life anywhere but here."

I know I should have moved away, but I'm stuck: hand frozen in mid air. Mouth completely dry. She called me off-limits . She called me hot . With that, the door swings open and Lily emerges with her hair pulled into a big clip, a clean shirt made of something soft and silky, giving me a big fake smile that doesn't reach her eyes.

"Lead the way, it's your town," she teases gesturing towards the door.

It's not like it takes us very long to reach the center of town, with Coffee Crumbs directly across the square it is about a ten minute walk. Fifteen if you run into Miss Nicole outside the dance studio. Looking at Lily, I eye her up and down before asking, "You ready?"

"Nope, but let's go." She laughs, wincing against the sunlight and digs into her oversized tote and pulls out a glasses case. Once they are securely on her face, she repeats her instructions for me to take the lead.

"Did you tell Delia and Nessa you're here yet?" I ask to distract her as we enter the grassy area by walking directly in front of Curl Up upside down smiley face emoji

Delia:

You are too predictable, ughhh. How about we try: WELCOME HOME LILY!!!

Lily:

Thank you, Delia. At least I know there is ONE PERSON happy I'm here.

Seth:

When has anyone called me "happy" about anything?

Lee:

pair of eyes emoji I'm the newest, so someone tell me. Was there one really great Christmas where he got a playstation or something?

Nessa: reacted HAHA, Delia: reacted !!,

River: reacted !!, Lily: reacted HAHA

Seth:

Blow me

Lee:

You're not my type. Speaking of adorable and feisty Filipina girls – yes, Stef knew you'd *maybe* be here for her birthday dinner. I'm hoping she's not suspicious but I think that ship sailed.

Lee:

River. Need anything on site to help prep for later? Last night you said we're good but checking in…

River:

Beyond good to go. Just worry about what you are going to say. Don't lose the ring.

I feel my phone vibrate again. This time Lee sends me a side question:

Lee:

Are you still crushing on blaze? My dude…

Shaking my head, I ignore the fact that blaze is a clever nickname. There's the most obvious, Lily's effigy to Grant when their relationship ended, plus the whole pot farm thing. Trying to distract her, I drop my voice to a low whisper.

"Psst. Lil." I lean into her space, a little bolder knowing she finds me as attractive as I find her. A man can hope, right? "So, there is one thing I've wanted to ask you for a while that I didn't know how to ask over text."

Her eyes are like saucers as she waits, her muscles tense, and she seems to be holding her breath. I go to speak quickly so she can relax, "The rumor about the farm?" I let out a sly smile and peer over at her with glee.

"True. Next rumor?" she snaps in reply.

"Umm, are those heiresses really paying for you to travel with them? "

"Also true, it's like they want me to be their pseudo-friend, but I'm really there to lead workouts and smack treats out of their hands. Ooh, the coffee cake. Is the blueberry coffee cake the same?" She switches topics mid thought.

"Yep, want a piece?" I offer.

"More coffee too please. All the coffee. I'll take coffee in any form you can bring it," she implores me. I slide out of my chair, and she pulls a well worn novel out of her bag and swaps the menu for it, hoping to hide still.

I can't help but be a little sad that the girl in her live-streamed workouts is burning up with passion, particularly when she dives into following your inner voice and the importance of building community. Two things I'm not sure she is doing despite their central place in her messaging. I wish she could offer herself the same kindness she gives to others, it would be nice for her to see what I do. Lily's so focused on a handful of folks who are financially tied to the Morgan's real estate portfolio and political donations as the overall opinions that matter. But in reality, they aren't actually the whole town.

Lily spent so much time envious of the friendship between Landan and her young mother, Stacie, that Grant's infidelity was a double whammy. But what she missed, from those days when Grant was part of our circle, was how Landan has only her mother. Her mother, and Grant. Landan's world is small, and while small quality worlds are good, Lily has access to something Landan can never achieve. She has us; three crazy found sisters, and brothers out of Seth and Lee. I'll be her brother figure if I must, but my feelings are far beyond friendly. As I re-approach our table she looks at me like a scared kitten.

"Your phone keeps buzzing and I don't want to know, but I'm curious. Are they still talking about me?" she hisses.

Returning to the table I place our food and drink down before reaching for her hand. I hesitate before I can make contact and instead pick up the salt shaker. "Don't be salty, I have other friends." Her resulting laugh is full-throated and that settles it, I have to make her laugh, always. Forever.

I turn on the charm hoping my winning smile distracts her from the light tease. Lily should see herself through my eyes. There is just a mountain of admiration. She swallows thickly, blinking away tears from her expressive chocolate-brown eyes.

Unfortunately, my jokes only get worse. She's clearly hoping to disappear as her chin lowers. By squirming in her seat she looks younger. It's like looking at the shy girl from elementary school.

Does she realize yet that the town businesses have started to transition hands? I wonder if now, with our group as the adults and business owners of the town, she could relax more and see what she used to love here. All the people she still loves here. Things have shifted for Grant and Landan. Sure, the Morgan's portfolio of real estate keeps them close to the Kelly family when it comes time for campaign donations. However, the list ends there.

We used to ignore Grant being a hot-head, we were teen boys. First it was his affair. Next, we watched years of on-and-off with Landan. Once they eloped, Grant and Landan took over managing the Morgan Portfolio of properties. They have the Kelly family approval, and that's all it takes to be back in the good graces. At least for business purposes, but his toxic behavior has created more distrust. Lily thinks she took the fall because of one town meeting ten years ago. Fleeing the state with her tail between her legs didn't actually make his ongoing presence an advantage. She just needs to see it herself.

Ten years ago I had a front-row seat to the ways Lily didn't see herself clearly. I was attending the local community college, thanks to my mediocre grades, and working alongside Dad at the bar. Learning the business was so much more exciting than sitting in a classroom that I threw everything I had into it. Plus, I wanted desperately to regain his full trust. Maintaining the eldest Hendrix is named George and runs The Featherweight tradition is important to us both, I just wish he could see that. Elizabeth, my mama, would take the tradition of using middle names to a new place with her choices for myself and my younger brothers who go by Leaf and Scout. However, as George River Hendrix—this is where I am meant to be .

From behind the bar, I learned to become a central piece of the Peacock Springs community without involving myself personally. Listening, engaging, learning from every new party to grace our tables. In those days, Lily and I would hang out during the day between the lunch rush and the happy hour crowd arriving while I cleaned up. Sometimes, she would look at my coursework and complete assignments out of her own boredom.

Most often, we'd just talk about everything and nothing. She always respected the idea of her marriage enough to keep things close, but then there would be these flashes of fire. She'd shared enough about the sacrifices she made—following her mom's advice to delay school for Grant's ego—that I knew her frustrations were being overlooked. Worse, his verbal abuse was either ignored or excused by everyone around them. At Belinda's urging, she took up those traditional homemaker duties, despite being a messy person who had a hard time learning to cook.

I have not been able to let go of my feelings of anger for ‘Beef Wellington Day' from that year. I watched her go back and forth across the square from the condo to the butcher over and over. Must have counted a minimum of six trips before I joined in. I made excuses to eavesdrop: run a delivery, pick up something from Pru, any reason to try to catch her and get details. Finally, I followed her in and lingered around the shop. I was possessed. I had to find out what in the world she was doing. The answer broke my heart.

Lily asked Carmine Salvatore for another cut of beef and another walk through the Beef Wellington recipe. When he offered a simpler dish to start, she cried because this is Grant's favorite and she just had to make this tonight. We walked back together and she broke down about the amount of time Grant was gone, how lonely and useless she felt, and how she had no idea who she was or how she ended up here.

I told her to tell me when she finally mastered the dish and pumped her up. She came by the bar that weekend, so proud she could burst. Then did: into full on tears, because, despite how hard it was for her he barely said thank you. Grant chastised her, calling her spoiled and bad with money. He suggested her being home all day was due to her lack of intelligence and drive, ignoring completely her acceptance to more schools than him. Better ones too. No, Grant knocked Lily down for doing exactly what he and their moms told her to do.

Looking back, that dinner was the kindling. Lily was trapped by other people's expectations, and Grant's mask of being a good guy was falling rapidly. She was willing to do anything to make things feel okay again, while we were too naive to help her. I was so mad I didn't call him out for his drunk confession about still being in love with Landan before the wedding.

Looking across the table, Lily tilts her head and quirks an eyebrow. "Hello? River? Are you still here?"

I shake my head again, causing a few strands to flutter across my brow. A stammer erupts, "Uh? Yeah. Hi. Sorry. Hi. I am exhausted." Picking back up where I had been trying to make her laugh, I continue, "I had the worst training session last night. Had to keep doing stair sprints." I feel her smack my arm lightly, and my bicep subconsciously flexes.

Flexing purposefully now, teasing, "Give me your best shot then, little flower." The old nickname slips out without thinking. Of course, I'd forgotten one important thing, Lily doesn't channel her rage into fires anymore. No, Lily—"Ouch!"—I wince, remembering, is into boxing. "That's gonna bruise. You win, you win, okay? I'm a jerk." I raise my hands in surrender.

With that, Lily's screen lights up and she swipes the screen, then she snorts and turns it to me to see.

Stef:

Is it true?

[Carlton Banks, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, played by Alphonso Ribero, dancing gif]

[Titanic, Old Woman, "It's Been 84 Years" gif]

Get your ass here now, Long!!!!! It's my birthday and we're going to have a spa day.

Gazing my way, Lily flashes a bright smile and puppy dog eyes. Her full bottom lip protrudes just a little bit more than the top lip as she silently begs. I find myself thinking about what it would be like to press against that pout, catch it with my teeth, holding her thick long hair as I deepen the kiss. Shit.

"I'm your personal body guard this weekend, let's get a move on," I say before leading us out the door.