Chapter 55

fifty-five

Lily

Mother's Day

Ten days until the wedding, but I can hardly think about anything except what today is. After every experience over the last nine months, a lot of things have become easier. Not today. Mother's Day is an exception to the rule, and is always harder than Christmas and my birthday combined.

Since I've stepped away from a public life, I didn't have to make a half-hearted post this year. That was a relief. I asked River to hold my phone, because the annual flood of messages about amazing mothers scrape at a healing wound, tearing it open again. No matter if it's watching something mindless on TV, scrolling social media, flipping channels on the radio, or walking into a store there's a reminder: you only get one mother, she's given everything for you, how will you say thank you? In their world, moms are wonderful and irreplaceable.

Dorothea and I prepared for today. I remind myself that my mother is a person. Imperfect and flawed. Allowed to set her own boundaries and make her own choices. No matter how painful those are. The choice to move permanently to their beach house on Long Beach Island feels like ceding the town to me. I guess that's better than awkward silences and disappointed glares .

Later today, we'll join Elizabeth and Jonathan for a bit at the house given his limited mobility. River's still sleeping and I slip quietly downstairs onto the back deck and watch the water meander over the rocks and tree roots. Water keeps moving forward even when it needs to rearrange its course. Sinking onto one of the adirondack chairs I painted neon pink—my own tiny rebellion against town—and try to give these negative feelings a time limited place to exist.

I hear the sliding door creak and glance at my boys, River more put together than I expect and Pete harnessed and leashed, ready to go.

"Morning, darling." He raises his mug in salute to me.

I return the gesture with a half-smile before taking my next sip. They join me, River sitting in the twin pink seat and Pete laying in a stripe of sunlight.

"Could we persuade you to get cleaned up for a quick stroll? Pete said he's planned a little something for you, and I couldn't argue with him. I mean, look at that face." River makes his own puppy dog eyes at me.

"Are we talking a fancy old-timey stroll, or just that people may see us so I should be basic presentable?" I eye him over my mug, knowing this question came out strange.

"Umm, in basic English?" he asks, as I mentally tally plus two points for realizing it, but minus one for it being after I spoke.

"You look nice, I assumed with the khakis and button down you were headed over to work. Do I need to be as dressed up as you?" I pivot the question.

Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, he looks me deep in the eyes and answers simply, "Can you just make sure you feel beautiful with whatever you pick?" He gives a quick light kiss to the tip of my nose and I scurry upstairs.

Pushing the hangers in my closet from side to side, I look over everything I've unpacked in the last week. Finally, I settle on an emerald green wrap dress and a white cardigan with my sandals. Tossing my phone and keys into a small crossbody bag, I head downstairs and River teasingly plays music for me as I descend like this is a ‘90 s movie. Laughing as I join them, I reach for the leash and he wraps his hand over mine. We head outside and down the banks together.

"Was it really less than two weeks ago you told me about your picnic visions down here?" he asks me.

"I guess so, it all feels like it's been so fast but also?—"

"A lifetime in the making?" he finishes the thought perfectly and I nod.

"I have a surprise for you, so can we move this party towards town?" His eyes are pleading with me, so I nod and follow along. We stop outside Miss Nicole's studio, and he pulls out a set of keys and opens the glass door. What is he doing?

When we get inside, there's a large black and white checked blanket centered on the floor with a bouquet of orange speckled lilies and a picnic basket on top. He leads me over and passes me pillows for us to sit on. I'm stunned into silence, anxiously waiting for this to make sense.

"I was tipped off that a former fitness influencer was looking for a quieter life, maybe her own studio." Miss Nicole suddenly appears from the back causing me to jump a bit.

"I promise I won't compete with you." I look her way earnestly.

"Oh dear girl, no. These old bones are worse than they were when you were assisting me. I was curious if you'd be interested in an opportunity to take over while I travel a bit. I've got beaches and card games calling my name."

I'm shaken, looking back and forth between her and River in confusion and excitement. "Really? You'd trust me?"

Miss Nicole waves a hand as if that is the simplest question. "Elizabeth said if I caused River to leave too, that she'd have Prudence hex me." She laughs hysterically at her own joke before suggesting we work out the details later this week and leaves us to our floor picnic.

Opening the basket, River produces a trio of sandwiches from Beagles Bagels.

"I got one for Pete this time, hoping that would prevent him from stealing ours." He winks as he begins to break one down into a dog bowl .

Handing over my bagel, I take it with shaky hands still confused. "This is so sweet, but you're not going to…" Propose? I don't want to reject him, I just need more time. A lot more time.

"I'm not proposing, I'm taking you on a proper first date. I'm giving you an armload of tiger lily flowers, because just like you, they represent confidence and strength. I asked Miss Nicole if we could be here, but the rest of that is for you to figure out. I hope you'll consider it, I'd love to continue waking up next to you. I want to be the man lucky enough to go through life side by side with you. If you'll keep me?"

Looking up through my lashes I reply as warmth fills me, "As if you could shake me now."

"There's one more thing I need you to promise me." I can see hints of mischief.

Hesitantly I say, "Perhaps, what else?"

Turning his phone over, he shows me a pair of airline tickets. "Well, I figured that we can have our roots here but continue to travel to get ideas. First stop I picked was London. I'll take you to Kensington Gardens to meet the original Peter Pan before we try some warm beer. I hear people like it."

Shaky hands, I take his phone and look again. "That sounds good to me, I think loving you will be an awfully big adventure." Leaning in, we kiss and Pete uses our distraction to nab himself the remaining half of my sandwich. Worth it, completely worth it.

That evening, we head to the Hendrix home together and Elizabeth pulls me into a hug of epic proportions. "After three sons, I hope you don't mind, I need a daughter. I've waited over thirty years for one," she greets me before hugging me again.

An unfamiliar male voice shouts from the other room, "Thanks for the reminder that you wanted me to be a girl," to which Elizabeth laughs and says, "Anytime Scout!"

She pulls me into the kitchen, where she opens the fridge and pulls out a large glass pitcher of iced tea with slices of lemons and peaches floating inside. I pick up an ornately carved highball glass and begin to fill it with the ice cubes and mint stalks she set out. Handing her each glass as I go, she pours in the tea and makes small talk.

"I hope this is not an overstep, Lily, but I obviously know Belinda and Neal relocated to the shore house. Their loss." She tosses me a glance that reminds me so much of River's attitude, and I melt a bit.

"Thing is, you're never too old to need a mom, and while I'm not your mom by birth I would be happy to be the bonus mom in your life." She smiles softly while looking at the glass in her hand. Holding one up towards me, she invites me to join her on the deck and we step outside.

Feeling the sunshine warm me, I take a fortifying sip and thank Elizabeth. "I would really like that, Elizabeth."

"Good," she sharply replies, "because as your bonus mom, I need you to know before everyone else in this tiny gossip mill finds out that word is Nicole is selling her business to go on some retirement cruise of the Mediterranean. I believe the quote was, hoping to find my fifth husband at the high roller table in Monte Carlo, so she's going to need someone to take over the dance studio. This is an institution and preventing it from disappearing from town would definitely curry the favor of those crotchety Kelly men."

Tilting my head as I ask, "Did you tip off your son too?"

She hadn't and I proceed to fill her in on the sweet gesture from River earlier.

"Well, well. Isn't that something?"

Joy ripples off of everyone here today. Her phone's alarm starts to ring. "Excuse me a moment, stay. Enjoy the sun."

The glow and warmth tickles my exposed arms as I tick through the stories of previous maternal conversations. It's been twenty-five minutes and Elizabeth has already focused on me more than Belinda ever did. Damn, so that is what this is like.

After a few minutes, I hear the door open and River tells me to head back in for dinner. A spread of baked ziti, salad, bread, chicken, and a stack of plates covers the kitchen. River makes his father a plate alongside his own as we serve ourselves before walking into the dining room.

"No Robert?" Jonathan looks around, confused .

Elizabeth shakes her head no. "Something came up at the last minute and he says he is stuck at the office still despite it being Sunday. I don't understand that boy."

I've endured my share of passive aggressive parental feedback and tense, but she ends with, "Whatever makes him happy, right?"

It's not a smooth segue, but I was forewarned that Jonathan's speech is rougher than ever these days.

"Seth was here with more free audio book codes for me, said that you and Delia have really made the place into something special. Said Gemma and the wife turned our first place back into a home. Like when you were little. You know, Son, growing old is no fun. You sometimes have to give up the things you loved before you are ready to." He places his silverware down on his plate and interlaces his fingers. His posture mimics a school child waiting for teachers instructions.

"You know, he reminded me that we George's have always had a big part in all things Peacock Springs. I promised your mom a good day today, and I can't think of a better gift." He sits up a bit taller, like he's trying to overcome any physical limits and appear serious, thoughtful, and potentially a bit intimidating. He reaches a hand towards his wife.

I reach under the table and place my hand lightly on River's knee, just so he knows I'm here.

"I'm proud of you, Son," he says plainly. River reaches and grabs my hand and squeezes three times, our silent I love you.

"River, I am proud of what you're doing to keep the Hendrix business alive. Scout, when you are done with school you should really consider coming home for a little bit to help your brother take more breaks. He's got a good eye, he brought a bunch of ideas back from Vermont and Denver."

Turning his gaze my way Jonathan adds, "I've been told you are the one responsible for those. Thank you, Lily, for helping us maintain this legacy. It seems like it's only a matter of time before you're a Hendrix too, anyhow."

My palms are sweating now.

Elizabeth lightly taps her husband, and looks at him with so much love and admiration, before saying, "Don't put pressure on them, they are kids. Let's focus on the wedding coming up. Are you two ready for the rehearsal dinner at The Featherweight?"

Thankfully, that's the last marriage is mentioned to me, and the rest of the evening is filled with teasing and laughter. Walking back with River to our cottage, I know I don't need anything else, because this is family. This is home.