Chapter 38

thirty-eight

River

April Fools Day

I'm beyond exhausted as I sit down at Coffee Crumbs with Seth for his suggested ‘change of scenery.' Whatever the fuck he means by this. I'm too tired to care honestly.

I've worked non-stop between the postponed parties, the work out back on the lawn, the work on the cottage, and being down a set of hands thanks to Lily's avoidance and Delia's class abroad. Add in her expected return to town today and I need a nap .

Seth's bright storm-blue eyes are narrowed on the black coffee in his mug, shuffling the handle back and forth. He's so rarely easygoing, but this is a level of wound up unlike him, there's a mix of anger and irritation simmering beneath the surface. After all these years, I'm aware that something is pissing him off, but with Seth the reason could be anything from a person forgetting to hold the door for a little old lady to having caught his wife cheating. If he had one, I mean.

"Dude, before you break the mug, what is going on?"

On a groan, Seth spreads his thighs wider, rocks back, and runs a hand through his close cropped dark blond hair. "I swear, I can't believe this, but I was trying to ask you the same thing. You know I don't really do this, this feelings shit, usually. But you've been off for weeks now. You do that feelings stuff, what with Elizabeth being Mrs. Hippie Mom, so can you just…" He gestures with his hands to suggest getting this over with.

It's the kind of moment that would make Lily refer to us as adorable, while Delia would sharply dissect the ways toxic masculinity is limiting male friendships, and Nessa… she is making kissing noises at us.

"Ness, where did you come from?" Clearly Seth was caught off guard too, and without being asked to join us, she flips a chair backwards and joins our table.

Seth snorts, "Okay, A.C. Slater, sure." He looks her up and down.

Laughing, Nessa winks at Seth then turns to me goading further, "Yes, River, what your emotionally constipated friend here was prying on. What the hell is going on with you lately? Other than the fact that you got laid, like a lot from what I recall hearing, and now you're barely speaking?"

Seth's eyebrows hit his hairline as he barks out a laugh and turns to fist bump Nessa.

"That solves the mystery, thanks Rabin. It's just that he's got blue balls. Okay. River, do you have the internet? You can watch something sexy, for free, rub one out, get your shit together."

Never one to miss an opportunity to lean into her impish nature, Nessa adds, "Or, just tell her you need some sexy times over video chat while you're apart. It's not like your girlfriend would say no." The way she emphasizes girlfriend, long and musical, sounds like a knowing middle schooler.

Now it's my turn to be stunned into laughter. Either Nessa and Stef were told something I wasn't about our time together, or the far more likely thing: Nessa is starting some shit.

"Oh my god, chill, it's April first , River. I'll leave you two to whatever this sobfest is. Gotta run. Later gents!"

She breezes out, and we eye each other cautiously before laughing. There is one thing we can always count on Nessa for: chaos.

That chaos cut the tension and on an exasperated sigh I admit, "My dry spell sucks, but I can't get my mind off her, so, ugh, can Nessa not be the one who is correct? How's things at Pages these days? Distract me from my family, the renovations on the property and in the cottage, and the tenant I have moving in any day now. I beg you."

Seth smirks and shakes his head before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Come on, bruh. Give me something here," I practically whine.

Mocking my tone he mimics, "Come on, bruh. Give me something."

He really leans into that last ‘g' to make it sound even more childish than I know I am behaving. With my own gulp of coffee, I shake my head. Right on cue, Seth pulls a worn paperback out of his back pocket and starts to read as if I'm not sitting here.

Quietly, he slides another book across the table and says, "I can't help you man, but maybe this will keep you busy." Glancing at the table I see a copy of "Stargirl" by Jerry Spinelli, and think opening the book would be better than silence. Seth and I sit in the companionable quiet together for the next hour drinking endless mugs of coffee and reading before his phone vibrates. Flipping it over, he gives me a nod and heads out.

That's it. No details, no goodbye. This was the most Seth-behavior I could think of, but I don't have long to dwell on it because as the door chimes jingle again, I glance up and am staring into the eyes of my dream girl. Irises as deep as the coffee in Seth's abandoned mug, and new streaks of caramel and auburn ribbon through her messy waves.

Lily has her signature black leggings and baggy sweatshirt on, Birkenstock sandals on her feet since today is unseasonably warm. She freezes in place when we look at one another, and rushes to the counter asking Goldie for the to-go order for Shane and grabs a tray with four giant iced coffees. Nessa was here, checking that Seth and I were here, Delia placed the order, god damnit.

The cups on the tray are various shades of beige and brown, with whipped cream on top of one. She attempts to balance a set of straws across the middle while grabbing a box of pastries with her other hand to put under her arm. In her rush to escape Coffee Crumbs, and my gaze, she continues to fumble with the best way to stack and hold items. Dropping a $20 bill on the table to cover for Seth and I, plus an extra generous tip, I sidle up to her .

"Need a hand?"

By startling her, I'm now wearing four iced coffees in various shades of beige and brown, plus a little whipped cream.

Licking my lips, I can only laugh, despite the embarrassment turning her a beautiful gentle shade of pink that is creeping up her neck, cheeks, and ears. She's back in Peacock Springs for the next eight weeks, and I need to convince her that December was not a one-time only thing for me.

Maybe I can show her that being home again isn't the end of the world. Convince her there is a chance for us to give this a real try. More than just a few days of playing a couple, but a genuine connection. Maybe, just maybe, she's ready to create her own roots.

"I'm usually not a fan of cinnamon coffee, but mixed with that caramel and whipped cream it's pretty great," I cajole and hope she can relax. Blinking wildly, she's stunned silent.

"Come on, darling." I drop my voice to a low whisper, a guttural beg. "Don't act like you don't enjoy the sight of me covered in whipped cream." Her blush deepens, but hopefully now for other reasons. Finally, a tiny laugh escapes her lips and I am so thankful for this smile.

Her eyes darken, and with a lingering sigh and giggle, she quietly exhales the word, "Darling." She grabs a handful of napkins from the dispenser and begins to pat my neck and shirt. Turning towards the countertop, she profusely apologizes before asking Goldie to recreate the order. Of course, this is the most kind and chipper woman anyone has ever met so she was already in the middle of making round two, and brushes off the concept of being paid again. Dropping another $20 bill into the tip jar, she glares, "I can cover it!"

With a rueful smile I let her know, "You can pay me back. I know how."

I walk her to Nessa and Delia's place. The look from Nessa when she came down to help with the coffee made me suspicious but thankful. They'll steer her back to me again and again. This is better than a kiss during truth or dare.