Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

The club was really busy.

Faith sat on the throne—sitting on the throne always gave her a sense of power and naughtiness because brats weren't really supposed to sit there—and looked out across the room.

It wasn't the first time Faith had visited X Rooms; she'd been with a group of friends before, and the small private kink club was well stocked and well laid out.

She still felt out of place though.

The first time she'd visited, she'd ended up supporting her friends more than having any scenes herself. Sitting and watching didn't exactly suit her AuDHD mind, and this time she'd come on her own, thinking perhaps she'd meet someone who'd like to play with her here.

It was Queer Night, which meant she'd had less swaggering male Doms wander over and tell her to get on her knees. As much as she loved submitting, those kind of entitled orders just got her back up.

But none of the women at the club seemed to have any interest in her, and all of her attempts at starting conversation seemed to trail off into nothingness.

Faith was not great at small talk. She just wanted someone to pop her on a cross and flog the living daylights out of her. But apparently being that forthright about what she wanted appeared to turn people off. When she'd said that to one of the Dommes who'd wandered over, she'd cocked an eyebrow and said she wasn't interested in brats who topped from the bottom.

But Faith didn't want to top from the bottom, she just knew what she wanted, and nothing she'd ever read had told her that wasn't something you were supposed to say.

She looked longingly at the St. Andrew's Cross, and sighed. Maybe next time she'd have better luck.

"Hello," said a voice. She turned and saw a short fat woman, long red hair down to her waist, smiling shyly at her. "I'm Mandi. Are you okay? You seem sad."

"I'm Faith," she replied, and then added, because she didn't want to worry them. "I'm fine thanks."

A taller butch woman in a suit came up behind Mandi and put her hand on the redhead's shoulder. "I'm Amelia. We're not hitting on you, just wanted to see if you were alright."

It was the first time all evening anyone had shown any kindness toward her and Faith found herself welling up.

"Oh no!" Mandi plonked herself on the floor and held out her hands to Faith. "Come sit here and have a cuddle!"

And for some reason, Faith obeyed. Perhaps it was because Mandi gave off the least Domme-y vibes she'd ever come across. She was warm, and soft, and her embrace was just a comfort. It had been a long time since Faith had felt consoled like that.

She didn't let herself cry, not properly, but she rested her head on Mandi's shoulder and took some deep breaths.

"Look," said Amelia. "It seems like you're not having the best time, and we were only visiting because Mandi wanted to see what a kink club was like but didn't want to bump into anyone she knew."

Mandi grinned at Faith. "I'm a Little some of the time, and some Bigs get all weird about Littles in dungeons."

"So, we were probably going to head out soon anyways. Do you want to come with us? We can grab some dinner and have a chat. I'm just a bit worried about leaving you on your own here."

Faith found herself nodding. "I'd have to check in with my friend, though."

"Of course," said Amelia. "And you can send them a photo of our IDs, if that would help?"

It definitely would. Being safe was one of the things Faith had been most nervous about attending X Rooms on her own.

"That sounds nice," she said, her voice nervous. "As long as you don't mind me crashing your date?"

"Not at all," said Mandi. "Mommy—I mean, Amelia—" Her voice cut off, and she dropped her head in embarrassment.

Faith moved so that she could meet Mandi's eyes. "It's all good. I'm not a Little myself, but I've met Littles before. You're lucky to have a Mommy who looks after you so well."

The beaming smile Mandi sent her way almost blinded Faith. "She's the absolute best. Please do come and have dinner with us. It'd be awful if a disappointing time here ruined your day."

She acquiesced and went to change from the underwear she'd been wearing into something a little more appropriate for public spaces. When the three of them left the club together, Mandi took Amelia's hand and then, after checking with Faith, took her hand too.

Faith didn't know the last time someone had held her hand. It felt nice.

They made their way to a small diner, not too far from the club, and settled into a booth. The waitress was friendly when she took their orders and seemed vaguely bemused that all of them ended up ordering the same thing: burger and fries.

With anyone else, Faith would have imagined there might be some awkwardness, but Mandi was so engaging, she couldn't help but feel at home.

"You have to tell us all about you! What brought you to the club?"

"Well," said Faith. "I guess I wanted to meet new people and do some scenes. But I seem to kind of get it wrong with everyone."

"What do you mean?" asked Amelia, her tone kind, not accusatory.

"It seems like everyone knows what the unspoken rules are for a place like that. I've read all of the written rules, over and over, but nowhere does it say that being bluntly honest about what you want is a bad thing. And yet, every time I told people what it was I was looking for when they asked, they looked at me strangely, or accused me of trying to top from the bottom."

Mandi pulled a face. "Oh that sucks. People are so rubbish when it comes to rules. Half the time they don't even know that they have them, which is so silly when it comes to"—she dropped her voice to a whisper—"kink. You're neurodiverse then?"

Faith nodded. "AuDHD, so a delightful combination of hating routine and needing routine at the same time."

That made Mandi gurgle with laughter. "I've got autism." She turned her head and lifted her hair from her ear to show off pretty pink earplugs. "So, I do understand. Mommy?"

"Yes, babygirl?"

"Maybe Faith would like Rawhide?"

Faith wasn't entirely certain what rawhide was. Maybe it was a type of leather flogger? But from the looks Amelia and Mandi exchanged, they were probably talking about something else altogether. "What's rawhide?"

Amelia paused as the waitress brought over their food and waited until she had left. "It's not a thing, it's a place. Rawhide Ranch. It's the resort where Mandi and I live. It is… accepting."

"Accepting?" Accepting of what? Of their queer relationship? Of Mandi being a Little…?

"It's a place for kinksters," explained Mandi. "There's a university, and a school, and there's a program for Littles and a program for service subs, and it's really nice. Some people visit and some people stay."

"And you both live there?"

Mandi's smile went all soft and melty, which hit Faith right in the solar plexus. She'd never felt anything that made her look like that. "I came to Rawhide when I was… I was lost." She reached out and squeezed Amelia's hand. "I was just going to visit, but then I met Amelia, and got a job as a librarian, and now I live there fulltime. We both do."

"It's a space where you're safe to be whoever you need to be," said Amelia. "Littles can be Little 24/7, if that's what they need. But there's also a Dungeon, and we have people come and stay for a week. The rules are laid out very clearly, and no one is going to be angry with you for saying what you need."

"That sounds like heaven," said Faith wistfully.

"Come and stay!" said Mandi, impetuously. "I mean, there's a screening process, and you'd have to apply, but I think you'd like it. And even if you don't find someone to play with, you'd be able to make new friends and hang out with me, and it'd be lovely!"

"It might not suit you," said Amelia. "Because nowhere suits everyone, but it is a safe space, and it'd likely feel more welcoming than that club. Attending on your own must have been so daunting."

"It wasn't the best afternoon," said Faith. "I've been with friends before, but no one ever wants to play with me, and I thought it would hurt less if there weren't friends to witness that." She grabbed a fry and ate it slowly. "It just hurt in a different way."

"Well," said Mandi, "how about coming to visit Rawhide because you want to develop more of a community? Then if you play with someone, it's a nice surprise, rather than attending with that being your sole intention."

Faith hadn't been on vacation for a while, and she had accrued quite a lot of leave, and if she were honest with herself, the idea of spending time on a ranch, visiting with these lovely two women who knew nothing about her, but had been so caring—well, it just sounded lovely. "Maybe for just a weekend," she said.