5. Jesse

5

JESSE

My phone vibrated on the passenger seat as I pulled my truck into a small clearing near Ben's house that we used for parking whenever he had people over.

Ignoring my phone, I navigated between cars and found a space big enough for my truck. When I was parked, I grabbed it and checked my texts.

Unknown : xox I miss you

A cloud of annoyance and irritation settled over me. I hadn't gotten a message like that in almost a month, and I'd finally let myself believe it was over.

Of course it wasn't.

Shoving my phone into my pocket, I climbed out of my truck and weaved through the cars on my way to the huge Victorian house about a quarter mile from the makeshift parking lot.

The house and the three acres of woods it sat on belonged to Ben's grandparents, but he'd been living there and taking care of the place for the past year after they moved into a retirement community in Arizona.

As I approached the porch, I could hear the tittering of voices coming from the backyard, and the house was lit up and glowing against the dark sky since all the lights on the first and second floors were on. Those, and the cluster of vehicles in the makeshift lot, were the only signs that anyone was over at all.

Ben didn't host parties often, and the crowds were never huge when he did, which was the only reason I'd come tonight.

I was in a foul mood, and I had no idea why.

Work was good, better than ever now that we had a full staff again and I didn't have to worry about pulling so much overtime. I had no family or friend drama going on that I knew of, and nothing bad or unexpected had happened.

Except kissing Sebastian.

I still couldn't completely wrap my head around that, or how much I'd liked it, but I'd had enough time over the past week to pack that shit away and deal with it.

It happened, I couldn't change it, and it didn't mean anything.

It was just a weird moment of happenstance that had gotten out of control. Nothing more.

I was over it. I should be in summer mode, ready to relax and enjoy life, but I wasn't.

Maybe being around old friends would help shake off whatever the fuck was weighing me down.

I didn't bother knocking when I reached the front door and walked right in.

The inside, much like the outside, was relatively quiet. I followed the sound of voices to the back living room and kitchen area and found a small group of people I didn't recognize playing cards at the oversized kitchen table.

"Hey, looking for Ben?" a huge guy I'd never seen before asked.

"Yeah. I'm Jesse," I added.

"Killian." He introduced himself with a smile. "Ben's making sure the bonfire doesn't get out of control."

"Thanks." I motioned to the backyard. "I'm just going to…"

"Enjoy the party." Killian went back to his card game, and the group resumed their quiet talking.

A bit confused by the encounter, I left the kitchen and walked through the living room to get to the back door. A few couples were busy making use of the couches and other furniture in the room, but I ignored them and went outside.

Around twenty people were clustered to one side of the firepit, where a roaring bonfire was going. Music played over some speakers that had been set up, some sort of DJ mix that had an upbeat and cheerful tone.

My bad mood intensified when I saw who was at the center of the circle holding court like some sort of royal, a beer in one hand and a smirky smile on his lips that sent a flare of anger—and arousal—through me.

Sebastian's gaze swung to mine as I approached the group, and he paused whatever he was saying to his gaggle of admirers.

I glared back at him and stopped a few feet from the edge of the crowd.

He toasted me with his beer bottle, then went right back to his conversation, effectively dismissing me.

I should have realized he'd be here. Sebastian was apprenticing at Ben's tattoo studio, and Ben was his mentor. They'd been friends almost as long as Ben and me. It would have been weird if he wasn't here.

"Maybe you don't need this after all."

"Huh?" I shifted my attention to Ezra, who'd come up to me with a beer in each hand. Beside him were Wes and Jett, his boyfriends.

"Exactly," Wes said.

"What?" I looked between them.

"I said hi and asked if you wanted a beer." Ez lifted his left hand, like he was proving it with the beer he was clutching. "But you just kept glaring at Bas like he owes you money."

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Wes draped one arm over Jett's shoulders. "You still hate each other for no reason?"

"Shut up." I grabbed the beer out of Ez's hand and took a long swallow.

Ez snort-laughed and Wes grinned. "I'll take that as a yes."

"You hate each other?" Jett looked between me and the crowd of people around Sebastian.

"They have forever," Wes said to Jett. "For as long as I've known them, at least."

"Why?"

Wes and I met when we were eight, after I moved to town with my dad and Adam. We'd been best friends, and when Ez and his parents moved here when we were fifteen, the three of us became inseparable. Wes and Ez started dating a year later and had been going strong ever since.

We'd stayed best friends over the years, and a few months ago they'd announced that they were now part of a throuple with Jett.

I liked Jett, and he was perfect for them, but it was still a bit strange to see them be so open and affectionate with someone else after all the years they'd been together.

"No one knows," Wes said to Jett, ignoring the glare I shot him. "But they've been like oil and water since third grade."

"More like oil and a flame thrower," Ez said. "At least that's how they've been since high school."

"He's annoying." Even I could hear how petulant I sounded.

"Annoying doesn't warrant a seventeen-year feud," Wes pointed out.

"It does when he does it on purpose."

Jett snickered and sipped his beer.

"What?" I shot him a look.

"Nothing."

I flicked my gaze to Ez. "Your boy is being sassy."

Ez glanced at his men, his smile way too intimate, considering I'd only had a few gulps of beer.

I really should have thought to catch a ride with them so I didn't have to worry about driving. Then again, it was probably best that I didn't get drunk. Not when I was in this headspace.

"Gross," I complained, but there was no bite to my words.

"What?" all three men asked innocently.

"Could you save the eye fucking for when I've had more of this?" I raised my bottle. "I love you guys, but the sexual tension between you is reminding me how long it's been since I had sex."

"Sorry." Wes's smirk said he wasn't sorry at all.

"Our bad." Jett snuggled closer to Wes.

"Brats." I couldn't help chuckling at their impish grins. "Control your boys," I said to Ez, a teasing lilt creeping into my voice.

This was what I needed. To hang out with my friends in a no-stress, familiar situation.

"I plan to." Ez shot both his men a promising look that was steeped in lust and desire. "When we get home."

A burst of laughter from the crowd around Sebastian had the same effect as a pin popping a balloon, and my good mood evaporated in a flash of irritation.

Instinctively, I swung my gaze to the crowd.

Sebastian was still front and center, only now he had one arm looped over Allyson's shoulder as she stared adoringly up at him.

My stomach clenched with something hot and angry.

Allyson was one of the girls Sebastian had dated in high school, and by the way she was looking at him, she was more than willing to rekindle things for the night.

Whatever. Why did I care? They were free to do whatever they wanted.

Tearing my eyes from Ally, I glanced at Sebastian,

His amused stare met mine.

Fuck. I held his gaze, pretending like he hadn't just caught me glaring at his date.

Ally said something to him, but he didn't acknowledge her. She rubbed his stomach and snuggled up to him seductively.

He finally broke our eye contact and looked down at her.

I returned my attention to my friends, who were all giving me shit-eating grins.

"Shut up," I said to Ez.

"We didn't say anything." Wes's grin went devious.

"You didn't have to." I drained the rest of my beer, downing more than half of it in a single go.

"Whoa." Ez snatched the bottle out of my hand. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing," I lied, letting him take the empty.

"Try again." He handed the bottle to Jett with a look I couldn't decipher. Jett untangled himself from Wes and took off toward the crowd still showering Sebastian and his date with attention.

"I'm just out of sorts today," I said grudgingly.

There was a time when me chugging a beer had been a perfectly normal thing, but those days were behind me. I wasn't acting like myself, but how the fuck was I supposed to explain why I was a mess?

I couldn't tell them about Sebastian. For one, I didn't know if he wanted to keep his bisexuality a secret, and I wasn't about to out him. I'd been there, and so had Ez and Wes. No one deserved that, not even the guy who pissed me off more than anyone ever had.

I couldn't even tell them about the fight because that would raise too many questions. And I'd have to admit how much I'd enjoyed it.

How many times I'd replayed it in my head.

How many times I'd jerked off to the memories.

That was the part of the whole situation that was fucking with me the most. Fighting, getting hard, even kissing him, had all been fucked-up reactions to a messed-up situation.

I'd known as soon as I'd seen him at the cabin that he was in a mood, but instead of delivering his boxes and getting the fuck out of there, I messed with him because I enjoyed getting a rise out of him.

I could have stopped things, I should have stopped things, but I didn't.

And we'd gotten carried away.

But none of that explained why I couldn't stop thinking about it. Or why I'd gotten off to thoughts of him under me, his hard body tight with anger as he struggled to free himself, his hazel eyes blazing with that intoxicating mix of rage and need that made my brain short-circuit.

Another burst of laughter drew my attention to the crowd. This time Sebastian stood alone, and Ally was off to the side with a few of her friends, whispering furiously.

Angrily, I turned my back on the crowd.

"Here." Jett came up to us, a bottle of water in his hand.

"Thanks." I took it and twisted off the cap so I could take a long drink. The cool water soothed my throat and helped settle my stomach a bit. I couldn't even blame that sour feeling on chugging a lukewarm beer on a mostly empty stomach. I'd been feeling off since I woke up.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Wes glanced around. "Is it…him?"

I nodded, grateful I could use this as a cover for what was really bothering me. "I got a text when I was pulling up to the house." I pulled my phone out of my pocket and showed them.

"Shit," Wes said with a sigh as I put my phone away. "I really thought it was over."

"Yeah, me too."

"What are you going to do?" Ez asked.

"Block the number, ignore it, and hope this is it."

"Maybe you should tell someone?" Jett suggested.

"I can't. How am I supposed to explain that one of my former clients is annoying me without incriminating myself? And it's not like anyone would care if I did. Texting someone isn't illegal."

"Texting someone who's explicitly told you to stop texting them is," Ez pointed out. "And it's not like he's only stuck to text. He violated your agreement when he figured out your real identity. That's not just being annoying. That's harassment."

My stomach flip-flopped.

I'd spent almost two years working as an escort and only had one customer who'd blurred the lines between sex worker and client and developed feelings for me.

I'd known it was a possibility, especially with the types of arrangements I'd made, but I'd arrogantly assumed that using a pseudonym and being careful to not reveal any personal information would be enough to protect me if someone got a crush on me.

I hadn't accounted for the internet and how impossible it was to completely hide your digital footprint from people who knew how to track them.

Not only had he learned my real name, but he knew where I worked and where I lived, and he had my personal cell number.

I wasn't afraid of him or what he'd do to me. He wasn't dangerous. He was just lonely and confused about what we'd been to each other.

But the fear that my secret would somehow come out was enough to make my blood run cold.

Escorting was illegal. It didn't matter that I'd mostly stuck to companion arrangements to try and skirt that line between what was and wasn't considered prostitution. I'd still done it, and I had no idea if I could catch a charge for it after the fact. Google hadn't been all that helpful the million times I'd tried to find out, and it wasn't like I could just call up a lawyer and ask.

Even without getting arrested or charged, the truth could destroy my life and everything I'd worked for. My bosses were awesome, and so were the guys I worked with, but I had no idea how they'd react if they found out about my past.

My family knew, and the friends who mattered also knew, but I couldn't risk anyone else finding out.

"Maybe," I said, more to end the conversation than because I was actually considering reporting him to someone. "But I don't really want to talk about it right now."

Wes nodded in understanding, but Ez's look was shrewd. He knew I was talking out of my ass, but at least he had the decency to not call me out on it.

I finished the last of my water as Wes and Jett told me about how they'd learned to line dance while wearing the drywall stilts they needed for their current build.

I listened with half an ear, chuckling in the appropriate places as I tried to ignore the little snippets of laughter and muffled voices coming from behind me.

"And then River started walking on the ceiling like a spider-pig."

"Oh yeah?" I shook my head as his words registered. "Wait, what?" I blinked a few times, clearing my vision and focusing on Wes's smirking face. I'd completely zoned out. How much of the conversation had I missed?

"Welcome back," Wes said. "Have a nice trip?"

I pinned him with a look and went to take a sip from my water, the cap reminding me it was empty.

"I'm going to get another." I looked around.

"Cooler's over there." Jett pointed to a log bench right next to Sebastian and his new besties.

"Of course it is," I muttered.

I was being a dick. I knew that. Wes and Ez weren't just my oldest and closest friends; they were my family. I hated shutting them out like this, especially after I'd torn them a new one when they'd done the same to me while they'd been figuring out things with Jett.

I just needed to get over this bad mood, forget all about what had gone down with Sebastian, and everything would go back to normal.

Resolved, I crossed over to the crowd, waving and greeting the various people who said hi to me first.

I didn't look at Sebastian as I cut right through the center of his little circle and walked past him. I didn't have to do that, and it would have been easier to go around, but the urge had hit, and instead of fighting it, I'd gone with it.

I could feel his eyes on my back as the crowd parted for me, opening a path to the cooler. Still ignoring him, I grabbed a light beer to pace myself and cracked it open.

"Have you slept with anyone famous?" a voice asked.

It took a second for me to realize they were talking to Sebastian.

"A gentleman never kisses and tells," he said, his voice syrupy sweet and filled with insinuation.

"Ooooohhhhh," the crowd chorused.

"Tell us!" a few people begged.

Sebastian just arched his eyebrow suggestively and rolled one shoulder in a shrug.

"I'll bet it was Anya from Thorn Castle," someone called out.

Sebastian shook his head. "Nope, not Anya."

"That lead singer from that band that sings that song?" someone else tried. Was that McKenna?

Sebastian laughed, but it wasn't his usual sardonic laugh. This one was light and genuine. "I'm going to need more context than that to officially deny it."

"You know the song," McKenna, Allyson's stepsister, said. "By Evermore. That one about waking up alone and the pillow your lover slept on being cold." She flashed Sebastian a million-watt smile. "The one you wrote and sang with her. We've all seen the music video and the footage of when you performed it live with them. There's no way in hell you two weren't hooking up."

"Yes!" another one of their friends shouted. "What's her name? Lola? Lulu?"

"Lili," Sebastian supplied. "And we never had a thing. She's married."

"Like that matters," someone quipped.

Sebastian shrugged, his smile faltering. "I don't need to hook up with married women."

"You might not need to, but you have, right?" a male voice asked excitedly.

"Not as far as I know. I don't bother with taken people."

Something about the way he said it was off. He sounded like his usual arrogant self, but his tone was darker than it had been a moment ago.

"Forget famous women," Aaron, one of the assholes who'd made my life miserable when I'd been outed, said. "I wanna hear about the groupies." He toasted Sebastian with his beer. "I bet you have some crazy stories."

He shrugged, his eyes tightening the slightest bit. "Like I said, a gentleman never kisses and tells."

The crowd made various protests, trying to goad him into telling them about some of his hookups.

I sipped my drink, watching Sebastian while trying to look like I was ignoring him.

The questions people were asking him were insanely personal. I could see his discomfort growing with each passing minute as he tried to deflect them.

"What was your favorite venue to play?" I asked loudly when he drew in a deep breath, his smirk faltering as his eyes went cold.

He was about to lose his shit, and I honestly didn't blame him.

But why did I care? I wasn't his keeper. Who gave a fuck if he blew up at a party? Wouldn't be the first time his temper got the better of him.

My cock stirred at the memories of the last time I'd seen him lose his shit.

Fucking awesome. Thank Christ I was wearing dark jeans so no one would be able to see my semi unless they looked for it.

He blinked at me in confusion, his cool exterior slipping for a half second before sliding right back into place. "There was this bar in Paris, in the basement of an old opera house." He smiled, his features relaxing and his eyes lighting up. "It had the most incredible vibe, and the acoustics were perfect because?—"

"I've heard French women are freaky," someone interrupted excitedly. "Is that true?"

Sebastian's smile dropped. "Not the ones I met."

"Boo," someone cried. "What was your favorite place to play because of the women?"

Sebastian tipped his beer back and drained the last of it. My eyes were drawn to his mouth as he licked his bottom lip. "I couldn't possibly choose just one." He shook his empty bottle. "Gotta hit the head."

"What?" someone yelped as he slipped out of the circle. "He's going to give someone head?"

"No, dumbass. He's going to the can," someone else said.

"I wouldn't say no to giving him some head," McKenna said in that way drunk people did when they had no idea how loud they were being.

"Get in line." Ally elbowed her.

"Don't be greedy." McKenna shot Ally a look. "You had him in high school. Time to share."

"This is so weird."

I glanced at Ben as he came to stand next to me. "What is?"

"They do this every time he comes back." Ben swirled the dark liquid in his glass. He didn't drink beer and preferred rum and Cokes. "Put claims on him like his dick is a time-share."

"It's not like he doesn't love it."

Ben shrugged and sipped his drink. "I don't think he does. He puts up with it, but I'm pretty sure it bothers him."

"You think?"

He nodded. "I think it hurts that all these people who didn't want anything to do with him when we were in school are suddenly all over him because he's famous or whatever. I know it would hurt me."

Ben had been Sebastian's closest friend in school. They'd never been besties or anything, but they'd stayed close all these years. He knew Sebastian far better than I did.

"How are things at the shop?" I asked, needing to change the subject before I asked if Sebastian made a habit of hooking up with Ally or McKenna or any of his other fangirls when he was home.

I didn't need to know, and more than that, I didn't want to know.

Ben motioned for me to follow him away from the crowd and the noise now that everyone was talking at once.

"Good," he said when we were on the other side of the fire. "Although dealing with the lookie-loos is getting old."

"Lookie-loos?" I asked with a grin. Ben always used the most random sayings.

"Lots of fans have come by the shop to see Bas." He did a quick sweep of the yard, his gaze shrewd as he made sure nothing was amiss. "Get autographs and take selfies with him."

"Really? He's that popular?"

I'd never listened to Sebastian's music. He was into heavy metal, and I was more of a rock guy. I knew he had to have fans if he'd toured for years, but I hadn't figured there were that many metal fans around here.

Ben nodded. "Oh yeah. But even if he weren't, he's still a novelty. And people love associating themselves with anything new and interesting. He handles it well, but it's stressing the rest of the guys out. Me too, if I'm being honest."

I let that percolate for a moment.

"How's work going?" he asked when I didn't say anything.

"Good." I sipped my beer. "I'm not doing much overtime now, so that's a bonus."

"They hired a new guy?"

"Luka," I said with a nod. "He started a few weeks ago."

"How is he?"

"Seems nice enough. He mostly works evenings and weekends. I've only had a few shifts with him. But he knows his stuff, and he cleans up after himself. That makes him a good coworker in my books."

A glint of something silver caught my attention, like the reflection of firelight off a metal watch. I glanced toward the house in time to see Sebastian slip out of the back door and make a beeline for the woods.

He disappeared between two trees, his dark clothes and hair blending into the forest.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah?" I swung my attention back to Ben. "Why?"

"You seem off tonight."

"It's been a long week." I shrugged, hoping that would be enough of an explanation for him.

A loud crash from inside the house, followed by an even louder "I'm okay!" interrupted whatever Ben had been about to say.

Instead of saying anything, Ben rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh.

"Was that Jace?" I asked. That had sounded suspiciously like his younger stepbrother.

He nodded. "That kid is going to be the death of me." He motioned to the house with this drink. "I should…"

"Good luck."

When Ben was inside the house, I looked around the yard. Ez, Wes, and Jett were gone. Pulling out my phone, I sent Ez a quick text to see if they'd left.

He sent back a smirking emoji, as well as the peach one, an eggplant, and the water droplet.

Chuckling, I tucked my phone away and went to take another drink from my beer. I paused when the rim of the bottle touched my lip. Sebastian wasn't back. Was he still in the woods? Was he okay?

Why did I care? He was a big boy. If he wanted to hang out in the woods like a swamp witch instead of out at the party, that was on him.

I put my mostly full beer on a nearby log bench. I wasn't in the mood to drink, and warm beer wasn't it.

I should go. The only people I wanted to see had already left, and Ben had his hands full with his brother and would probably be busy for a while.

My gaze flicked to the forest without my permission. Why had Sebastian left the party? Was he hooking up with someone?

My gut churned as I scanned the group. None of the girls who'd been drooling over him were missing, not that I could see. But there'd been a bunch of people inside. Had one of them snuck out with him when I hadn't been looking?

Irrational anger prickled at my chest, and I found myself striding across the yard before I could stop myself.