16. Sebastian

16

SEBASTIAN

The five-mile drive took what felt like eleven and a half hours as we inched along at a snail's pace.

The rain hadn't slowed at all, but the thunder and lightning were thankfully long past us. I didn't mind storms, but not when I was driving on busted, tiny roads surrounded by eerily dark woods.

Finally, my cabin came into view as we broke through the tree line and approached the small clearing in front of the building. I pulled into one of the parking spaces and shut down my engine with a weary sigh.

Jesse parked his truck next to me, and we both climbed out of our vehicles and headed toward the cabin, going slow because of the near darkness now that our headlights weren't lighting the way.

"Slowpoke," I commented when Jesse joined me on the porch.

"Not everything is a competition," he muttered.

"But it's so much more fun when it is." I unlocked the front door and pushed it open.

"Why bother locking it?" He followed me into the cabin and closed the door behind him. "This is as close to the middle of nowhere as you can get around here."

"To keep Goldilocks and the three bears out." I flicked the light switch.

Nothing happened.

"Bas?" Jesse asked warily.

I could only see his outline now that the door was closed.

"Um." I flicked the light switch a few more times. "Do you have your phone?"

He pulled it out of his pocket and unlocked it. "What's going on?"

I took it without answering and opened the internet, the screen blindingly bright even in night mode.

"Bas?" he asked again. "Is the power out?"

"Yeah." I handed him his phone back. "It looks like the whole area has been out for hours," I added grimly.

"Any chance it'll be fixed soon?" he asked, his voice devoid of any hope.

"It didn't say, but I doubt it. The outage map shows a ton of blackouts. It'll take time to work through them."

"Fucking perfect," he grumbled.

I wrapped my arms around myself as a chill settled over me. "There's a generator in the shed. Stay here. I'll get a flashlight."

Being careful I didn't bump into anything or trip, I made my way into the kitchen and grabbed the flashlight I kept on the counter.

Flicking it on, I hurried back to where Jesse still stood, looking like a pissed-off cat who'd gotten caught in the rain. "Got the light. Not that you couldn't see that." I waved for him to follow me. "Come on."

He grumbled something, his footsteps heavy as he stomped along behind me.

I could feel my bad mood growing with each step as we left the cabin and made our way to the shed, and I was about ready to punch something by the time we were inside the dark, musty-smelling building.

I didn't even know why I was so pissed off. I was wet and gross, but I'd spent years touring in a crappy van, then a less crappy bus. It wasn't the first time I'd had car trouble in the rain.

I just needed to keep my shit together until we got the power on and I could get warm and clean. I'd be in a much better headspace then.

"Can you?" I handed him the flashlight.

Taking it, he pointed it at the generator, watching as I went through the steps of getting ready to start it.

I held my breath and pulled on the recoil cord, all set for it to rumble to life so we could finally get out of the rain.

Nothing happened.

"Bas?" he asked, sounding as distressed as I felt.

"I don't know." I pulled on the cord again. The engine didn't even splutter.

"Is there gas in it?"

"Of course there is," I said testily. "I'm not a moron."

"What about the oil? When was the last time that was changed?"

"At the start of the summer." Standing, I threw up my hands in exasperation. "I know you think I'm some simpleton who can't chew gum and walk in a straight line, but I've been coming up here my entire life. I know how to do the proper maintenance, and I did it!"

"I got it," he snapped. "You're not a simpleton. Can I take a look?"

Snatching the flashlight out of his hands with more force than was necessary, I switched places with him. I pointed the light at the generator as he knelt next to it, his shoes squelching with all the muddy water they'd absorbed.

"I already told you there's gas in it," I snapped when he checked the fuel level.

"I know. But I need to look at everything so I don't miss something. A generator isn't a car. I know enough to hopefully figure out what's wrong, but this isn't my area of expertise."

"Fine. But I know I checked everything."

"Are you going to bite my head off if I ask if you mixed old and new gas?"

"Yes. I definitely will."

"Okay. What about the oil? Did you change or check it recently?"

"Yes." I managed to not snap at him, but barely.

He found the choke lever and made sure it was in the right position.

"And before you say something snarky," he said, cutting me off before I could tell him I'd checked the lever. "I figured the lever was fine, I'm just running through my checklist."

"Me, say something snarky?" I fake gasped. "Never."

"Sarcasm doesn't become you."

"Pretty sure it does."

"Did you drain the carburetor before you shut it down for the season?" he asked, sitting back on his heels.

"I did."

"Have you checked the fuel line recently?"

"Replaced it at the end of last season."

"Have you used it since then?"

"No."

He hummed thoughtfully.

"What?" I asked dejectedly.

"The only other things it could be are the spark plug or the engine coil. It's possible there's something wrong with the sensors, but who knows?"

"You think it's the spark plug?"

"Not sure. Do you have a spare? I can replace it, and that might fix things."

I shook my head, my heart sinking as the cold settled over me.

I'd been wet for hours, ever since I'd woken up from my impromptu nap, and was moving past grumpy and into irate.

"I'm calling it." He stood and brushed off his hands. "This thing is dead in the water."

"That's it?" I asked incredulously, too cold to think clearly. "I thought you were a mechanic. Isn't this what you're supposed to be good at?"

"I'm not a miracle worker," he snapped. "I can't fix something when I have no tools, no power, and no replacement parts. What do you expect me to do? Wave my magic wand and make the problem go away?"

"Fuck!" I shouted, unable to stop my outburst as all the shame and tension from the past four hours hit at once. "Could today get any fucking worse?" I asked the ceiling, hoping for a little divine intervention. Or maybe for the roof to collapse and put me out of my misery.

"Probably. Come on." He handed me back the flashlight. "Let's get out of here and back into the house. At least it doesn't smell like an old barn in there."

We had to dart through the rain to get back to the cabin, and I was in an even worse mood by the time we were inside.

It wasn't a humid night, so while the rain was warm, the air around us was cold. Especially inside since it had been closed up tight for over a week.

I put the flashlight on the floor, and the light angled up so it illuminated a small swath of the room around us.

Jesse looked down at his mud-soaked clothes. "Gross." He made a face.

"Yeah. I'm beginning to think I'll never be clean or warm again." I dug through my pockets, putting my phone, keys, and wallet on the table next to the door.

"Wouldn't have been so bad if you hadn't buttflopped into that puddle." He put his personal effects next to mine.

"Buttflopped?" I peeled my sopping shirt off. "Is that the technical term for falling on my ass after slipping on mud?"

"What are you doing?"

"Getting out of these clothes." I dropped the shirt onto the mat next to the door that was for shoes. "How else am I going to get clean or warm if I keep them on?"

"Do you have to do that here?"

"Yes." I toed off one sneaker and dropped it onto the mat. "Come on. Don't be shy. It's not like you haven't seen it before," I paused. "Correction, you've seen most of it before."

Was it weird that we'd fucked, but we'd never seen each other naked?

"This is so not what I thought my night was going to look like," he muttered, stripping off his soaked shirt and dropping it on mine.

"Hard same." I kicked off my other shoe. "Now stop your bellyaching and get those off before you catch a cold."

"You can't actually catch a cold from being cold."

"Just take your damn clothes off," I said, the fight leaving me as the reality of the situation hit.

We were trapped here with no power, no hot water, and we were both soaking wet and covered in dirt and other grime.

Wordlessly, we stripped down to our underwear, piling our clothes next to the door.

"Now what?" he asked.

"Now we take the world's coldest shower and get some dry clothes on."

"Excuse me?"

"You want to stay covered in mud and other gunk, go ahead. But I'm showering." I grabbed the flashlight and waved it at the stairs. "Either follow me so we can clean up or enjoy hanging out in the dark."

A freezing cold shower sounded about as appealing as diving into a pool of vinegar, but we didn't really have a choice.

He followed me up the stairs.

"So, what were you doing before you had to come save me?" I asked, pushing the door to the bathroom open.

"Nothing." He followed me inside.

"Nothing like nothing? Or nothing like none of your beeswax?"

"Beeswax?"

"Been spending a lot of time with Ben. His sayings have rubbed off on me." I put the flashlight on the counter and pointed it at the mirror.

That lit up the small room enough for me to actually see all of Jesse for the first time tonight.

He looked as cold and as dirty as me, but even in my pissy state, I couldn't stop from checking him out.

Even with dirt smeared on him, he had that disheveled golden boy vibe. It was criminal how good he looked.

"You're not so bad yourself."

I flicked my gaze up out of instinct. Jesse was watching me with an amused expression.

"Like you didn't do the same."

He shrugged, not confirming my accusation.

Two could play this game.

With a wink, I shoved my boxer briefs down over my hips. They landed on the floor around my feet with a wet plop .

"Go ahead. You know you want to. Take a look." I wiggled my hips, my soft dick flopping back and forth comically.

He held my gaze. "Take a look at what?"

"Whatever you like."

He shot me a cocky grin that made me want to punch him, but at the same time, sent a little shiver of awareness through me.

Thank fuck I was too wet and annoyed to react, and my dick stayed down as I reached into the shower and turned on the water.

I could feel his eyes on me. Was he checking out my ass? Did he like what he saw?

Taking a chance, I glanced over my shoulder.

His eyes were glued to my ass. I tried to ignore the flicker of pride at his hungry look.

"Like what you see?" I asked teasingly, arching my back to pop my ass out.

"You're annoyingly chipper for someone who dragged my ass through a storm and is forcing me to take a freezing cold shower."

"In my defense, the storm wasn't in the forecast, and I don't control the weather, so that's not my fault. The generator might be, but I have plausible deniability since we don't know for sure why it crapped the bed. And you don't have to take a shower. You can stay dirty for all I care. But you're not wearing anything of mine until you're clean, so choose wisely."

"How are you so upbeat and annoying right now?"

I shrugged. "It's either pretend like everything is fine, or I lose my shit and we both regret it."

"Mood." Hooking his thumbs over the waistband of his briefs, he pushed them down until they landed on the floor with mine.

It was the first time I'd seen him completely nude, and I couldn't help drinking in every detail of his powerful body and the proud way he stood on display for me.

"Are you going to get in the shower so we can get this over with? Or are you going to keep staring at my dick?" he asked, startling me out of my daze.

I lifted my gaze slowly. A cocky smile played on his lips. "Just appreciating the view."

"Yeah, well, remember it now, because it's gonna look different after an ice shower."

A laugh bubbled up out of my chest. "Keep that energy for me, and we have a deal."

"Are you stalling or dragging this out?"

"What's the difference?"

"Stalling means you don't want to do this anymore than I do, and dragging it out means you're a sadist."

Another little laugh escaped me. "Definitely not a sadist. A masochist, maybe. That would explain why I can't seem to stay the fuck away from you."

Realizing what I'd just said, I threw the shower curtain open, the hooks dragging loudly over the metal rod, and stuck my hand under the freezing spray to try and prepare for how much this was going to suck.

"I got this. On three." I blew out a breath and rolled my shoulders like I was getting ready for a boxing match. "One. Two." I paused and braced for what I knew was coming. "Three."

I half stepped, half jumped into the shower, and immediately let out a loud squeal as I was pelted with what felt like ice shards, the pain as bad as the cold.

"Oh, hell no!" I jumped out of the shower, nearly falling on my ass in the process and spraying water everywhere. "Fuck, that's cold," I said through chattering teeth as my whole body sort of glitched out and the cold actually felt hot for a few seconds.

"Does the showerhead detach?"

"What?" I shivered violently. "Remind me again why mud is bad?"

"You're the one who said I wasn't getting clean clothes until we showered. This is on you." He pointed to the showerhead. "Can that be handheld?"

"Yeah."

"Give it here. I'll hold it and you can use a cloth or something instead of standing under it. We can switch when you're done."

"What about..?" I touched a bit of mud that was caked into my hair. "It's going to drive me crazy if I can't wash this out."

"I can help you with that," he said.

Not sure what the hell was happening, I pulled the showerhead down and handed it to him.

"Grab some washcloths and get in."

I did as he said. He held the showerhead, pointing the water away from me as I used the cloth to scrub away the worst of the dirt and rain.

"This is so weird," I said a few minutes later, sticking the washcloth under the showerhead to rinse it out. The freezing water made my hand ache, but I did my best to ignore it.

"This whole night has been weird."

"Isn't that the truth." I scrubbed a smear of dirt from my leg. "So, what were you doing when I texted?"

"Nothing."

I shot him a look.

"That's not me being evasive. I was literally sitting on my couch doing nothing when I got your text."

"Oh. Did you have plans?" I asked, almost managing to sound casual.

"Not really. Like I said, it's been a weird night."

I dropped the cloth onto the tub floor. "I'm done."

"Still want to wash your hair?"

I nodded, feeling shy all of a sudden.

"Lean forward, head down, and cover your eyes."

I did as he said.

I hated the little flutter that tickled my chest at the gentle way he wet my hair, using his fingers to comb through the strands and doing his best to keep the water from touching my head.

"Argh," I grunted, jerking as pain exploded on my scalp and radiated deep into what felt like my brain.

"You okay?" He lowered the showerhead and let it rest against the side of the tub.

"Yeah. It's like reverse brain freeze." A shiver tore through my body as the pain lessened. "Fuck, that's weird."

"You good to continue?" He grabbed a bottle of shampoo.

"Yeah." I wrapped my arms around myself as he squirted some into his hand and set the bottle aside. "Just keep your eyes up," I said, suppressing another shiver. "I swear my testicles are trying to retreat into my body like a turtle right now."

He snort-laughed and rubbed the shampoo between his hands. "As long as you extend the same courtesy to me."

"Deal." I bent over a little more, angling my head down, and covered my eyes again.

Carefully, Jesse worked the shampoo into my hair. His touch was gentle and practiced.

"How do you know how to do this?" I asked, breaking the lengthy silence that had fallen over us.

"It's not the first time I've washed someone's hair." He bent to pick up the showerhead. "Ready to rinse?"

"No, but yes." I braced for what was definitely going to be the worst part. "Think warm thoughts," I muttered. "Fire. Lava. The surface of the sun. Other things that burn really hot."

Being as quick and thorough as possible, he rinsed the shampoo from my hair. We had to pause a few times when the cold was too much, but I thankfully didn't get another blast of reverse brain freeze.

"Here." He wrapped a small towel around my head.

"Thanks," I grunted, using it to wring as much water from my hair as I could.

He had a bigger towel ready for me when I was done.

"Thanks," I said again through chattering teeth, swapping towels with him and wrapping the bigger one around my shoulders. "Your turn?"

He nodded grimly.

We switched places, and I handed him a clean cloth to use.

Helping Jesse take a sponge bath with ice water while standing next to him in a fuzzy towel and nothing else was a strange experience. Another one of those moments that felt wrong, like we weren't supposed to see each other like this.

"All done?" I asked, grateful for the distraction when he stopped scrubbing and gave himself a once-over.

"I think so. Good enough." He dropped the cloth onto the tub floor, where it landed with a splat next to the one I'd used.

"Do you want to wash your hair? I can help if you like."

"Um, yeah. Okay." He sounded almost shy.

Something in my gut twisted.

We repeated the same steps from before, only our roles were reversed. I was gentle as I got the worst of the rain and forest crap out of his hair, but I could see how much Jesse was struggling every time I accidentally splashed water on his skin.

"You okay?" I asked softly, lowering the showerhead and letting it rest against the side of the tub.

"Yeah," he said, his voice gruff. "Fine."

"Ready to wash it?"

"Yeah."

I worked the shampoo into his hair the best I could. The freezing water made it so there was hardly any lather, and it was hard to not watch the thick strands of his hair moving through my fingers.

I'd never touched anyone like this, and the moment felt too intimate.

"I'll go as quick as I can, but this part is going to suck," I warned when it was time to rinse. "You good?"

"Yeah. Do it."

I protected his head the best I could, but we still had to pause a few times before the water ran clear.

"Jesus," he said through chattering teeth as I turned off the shower. "It really is like reverse brain freeze. Starts on the outside and just zaps your whole nervous system."

"Yup." I grabbed a small towel off the rack and wrapped it around his hair. "Like getting an icepick to the brain while someone pours acid on your scalp."

"Say less." He squeezed the water out of his hair, then stood up straight. "Whoa." He rocked on his feet and pressed his hand against the tiles.

"You okay?" I grabbed his arm, steadying him.

"Yeah." He blinked a few times. "Just got dizzy for a second. I'm never doing that again."

"Hard same. Here." I handed him a big, fluffy towel and traded it for the small one.

With a grateful-sounding sigh, he wrapped it around his shivering shoulders.

"Let's get some clothes," I said, needing the moment to end before I said or did something I regretted.

He followed me out of the bathroom and down the little L-shaped hallway. We passed two closed doors and went into the room at the shorter end of the hall.

"Is this your room?" He looked around the space, but I wasn't sure how much of it he saw in the dark.

"Yup." I went to a dresser and rummaged through the drawers.

The room wasn't fancy, but it was comfortable. A queen-sized bed with an ornately crafted headboard was against one wall, and a large fireplace was across from it. Against the same wall as the fireplace were a couple of dressers, and a recliner sat facing the giant wall of windows and the door to the balcony that wrapped around the back of the property.

"Here." I shoved a bundle of clothes at him, then grabbed some for myself.

He dropped his towel, and we pulled them on.

"Really?" he asked, pointing to my high school band's logo on the hoodie I'd given him.

"What can I say? You look good in my clothes."

I'd meant it as a joke, but the words didn't come out right. They sounded husky, not teasing. "Come on." I waved the flashlight beam at the door. "I'll start a fire downstairs, and we can check the weather and the outage map. See when the fuck we can get out of here."

Wordlessly, he followed me out of the room and back downstairs. The air was still chilly, but now there was a dampness that hadn't been there before, making the cool air feel dense, like humidity but not hot.

When we were back in the main room, I pointed to the couch. "Sit. I'll start a fire."

Surprisingly, he sat without sassing me or pushing back at all.

"This is dangerous," he said.

"What is?" I glanced over my shoulder and chuckled when I saw him slumped on the couch. "Yeah." I turned back to the fireplace and arranged sticks and logs in it.

The couch was big and squashy, and sitting on it was like sinking into a cloud. "I've gotten stuck there more than once. And slept on it more times than I've meant to."

I could feel Jesse's eyes on me as I started the fire, blowing on the flames until it was roaring.

"How long do you think we have until it gets too warm in here?" he asked.

I held my still freezing hands up to the flames to get some of my circulation going again. "Should be okay as long as we don't stoke it."

When my hands felt like hands again, I flopped onto the end of the couch with a weary sigh.

"Are you okay?" Jesse asked, breaking the silence.

"Fine." I stuck my hands in the front pocket of the hoodie, my eyes on the fire. "Are you going to lecture me about forgetting to replace the spare?"

"No."

"What about my phone running out of battery?"

"No."

"How about?—"

"I'm not going to lecture you. For one, I'm not your dad. And two, shit happens. No point being a dick about things you can't change."

"Who are you, and what have you done with Jesse?" I shot him some side-eye.

"Like I said, it's been a weird day."

"Weird day, weird week, weird month."

"Weird summer," he added.

"Say less."

We fell silent, both of us staring into the fire.

The crackling of the wood mixed with the patter of rain against the windows, creating a calming atmosphere that had me zoning out, my mind blank as I let the flames hypnotize me.

I'd always loved watching fire. It didn't matter if it was a fireplace, bonfire, or a candle. I wasn't sure what that said about me, but fire soothed me.

Covertly, I snuck a look at Jesse. He was just as enthralled by the flames as me.

"I wish I had a fireplace," he said softly.

"You do?" I asked, not sure he was even talking to me.

"Yeah. I like watching fires. My parents used to let Adam, Quinn, and me stay up late on clear nights so we could sit around the firepit and stargaze." His voice was faraway and a bit sad. "My dad would sit with me and watch the fire die after everyone else went inside."

"We should check the forecast," I said, not sure what to do with the change in his energy.

"Yeah." He sighed heavily. "My phone is still at the door, isn't it?"

"I got it."

Before he could protest, I was on his feet and retrieving his phone.

"Thanks." He tapped on the screen as I flopped back down on the couch.

"What's it saying?" I asked when he dropped his phone onto his chest with a disgruntled sigh.

"The rain isn't going to stop for hours." He tossed his phone onto the coffee table in front of us. "And it's not looking good for the power either. There are outages all over the map and no timelines for when anything will be fixed."

"Of course." I flexed my hands a few times. They still felt a bit weird and stiff. Especially the one I'd cut on the stupid tire wrench thing. "Fucking awesome."

Leaning over, he grabbed my wrist and angled my hand toward him.

"What are you?—"

"You're hurt." He held my wrist tighter.

"It's fine," I protested, but stopped trying to get free. "I'm fine."

He examined the cut on my palm. "This doesn't look fine."

The wound wasn't deep, but it wasn't exactly superficial. It'd stopped bleeding, but the jagged line cutting through my skin was red and angry looking, and the sides were a bit swollen.

"How fast can an infection set in?" he asked. "Do you need to wash it out better?"

I shrugged. I hadn't tended to it other than when we'd been in the shower. Hopefully shampoo was a good enough substitute for antiseptic or even just regular soap because I sure as hell wasn't sticking my hand under ice water again, infection or not.

"Is this normal for you?"

"Is what normal for me? Being useless and getting hurt?" I asked, my defenses going up again at the reminder of how Jesse had saved me once again and witnessed my little freak-out.

"You're not useless." He tilted my hand toward the light to get a better look at my injury. "Shit happens. No point dwelling on it."

His concern was unnerving, but caretaker mode was better than his grumpy one.

"Are you going to tell me to be kind to myself?"

"I was going to tell you to stop bellyaching." He shot me a look. "But that works too."

"You done having a staring contest with my hand?" I asked when he returned his gaze to my palm.

"This kind of swelling," he asked. "Is that normal for you?"

"Yeah," I said softly, all the bite gone from my tone. "Sensitive skin. It should go away in a few hours."

Gently, he traced the tip of his finger over the side of the cut.

His breathing hitched.

Not sure what to do with the weird flutters in my stomach, I pulled my hand free and cleared my throat.

"So, why were you such a dick when I was nice enough to drive my ass up here to save you?" he asked, his voice teasing but still sharp.

"I thought you weren't going to lecture me about needing to be saved," I shot back, getting defensive again.

"This isn't me lecturing you. Just wondering if you greet all your saviors like that or if I'm special."

"Saviors?" I spluttered.

"My name is Jesus in your phone. That's pretty savior-like."

"I recall you getting that name for some rather unsavior-like behavior." I shot him a look. "Pretty sure sucking dick isn't considered a holy endeavor."

"It should be."

We lapsed into silence, both of us sitting with our eyes fixed on the fireplace.

"Are you okay?" I asked a few minutes later.

"Fine. Why wouldn't I be?" He kept his eyes on the fire.

"You took a while to get here," I continued, hating how hesitant I sounded. "Was it because of the storm?"

"Yeah. Got stuck behind a pileup on the highway when the rain started. Then the worst of it hit right before I got to the offramp to the properties."

"Oh, okay." I tapped his foot against the wooden floor. "I thought maybe you had car trouble, or you had problems on the road…"

"Got stuck in the mud a few times, but nothing too bad."

"Oh, okay," I repeated, not sure what to do with the mess of emotions hitting me all at once.

He pulled his attention away from the fire and shot me a cheesy smirk. "Awww, were you worried about me?"

"No." I crossed my arms and fixed my stare on the fire.

"You were, admit it."