Chapter 18

Eighteen

Fletch

T he door swings open and Lexi storms in, followed quickly by Gemma. I groan, exchanging a wary look with Axel, who is already on his feet. "What's going on?" he demands, stepping in front of Lexi so she has no choice but to stop.

"I'm sorry," she mutters.

"You have a picture of me?" asks Gemma, but it's said more as a statement than a question.

Axel smirks. "I have several."

"I want them all right now."

A second groan escapes me because making demands of Axel won't go well. I head over. "Let's just calm down."

"Calm down? What pictures does he have of me?" Gemma yells.

Ruby follows me over. "What's she talking about?"

"Nothing. Gemma, let's go into the office and talk," I say, trying to remain calm.

"She said I moved drugs," Gemma shouts. "Get me the pictures right now."

Axel smirks. "You're lucky this idiot is thinking of claiming you." And he turns to go to the office.

"Claiming me?" she repeats, looking me up and down, reminding me exactly what she really thinks of me. I roll my eyes and head for the office too while she follows.

I close the door, leaving Ruby outside looking confused. Axel opens his drawer and throws several photographs on the desk. Gemma swipes them up and flops back into the chair, staring at the first picture of me and her in the window of her place, fucking. I have her by the hair, tugging her head back so she's looking up at the ceiling, and I'm staring right at the camera.

Gemma slowly looks to me, tears balancing on her lower lashes. "You knew he was there," she whispers, and I can hardly deny it. She moves to the next. It's similar, so she moves straight on to one of us on the bike. She's holding the black bag. Again, she brings her eyes to mine. "What was in the bag?"

"It's not important now," I mutter.

"What was in the fucking bag, Fletch?" she yells, throwing the pictures back on the desk and standing. "I swear to god, you better tell me right now."

"Drugs," says Axel simply. I glare at him, and he shrugs. "She can't do anything about it, she's holding them."

"I didn't know," she shouts angrily.

"But your boss ain't gonna believe that, is she?" he asks, smiling. "You've been lying to her for weeks. And I have a very good lawyer who'll rip you to pieces in a courtroom."

"You absolute fucking bastard," she whispers, heading for the door.

"Gem, wait," I mutter.

She pulls the door open, and Ruby's still waiting. "Are you okay?" she asks, but Gemma passes her without a word.

"Gemma, please," I call after her.

I watch her leave, then I turn back to Axel. "Why did you tell her?"

"Because she needed to know."

"I should go after her," says Ruby.

"No," I say firmly. The last thing I need is Gemma taking Ruby away, and while she's this upset, who knows what she's capable of.

My mobile rings, and I answer. "I have the papers. I'll text you a place to meet," Mark says then disconnects.

I turn to Axel. "He has the paperwork to make me and Gemma legal guardians of Ruby," I whisper. "Can you keep an eye on her while I go and get it?" He gives a nod. "I'll find Gemma after."

Mark chooses to meet in a busy restaurant. I sit opposite him, and he slides an envelope towards me. "How is Ruby?" he asks, his eyes fixed on the window beside us.

"She's fine."

"I'm moving away," he tells me. "There's an account set up in Ruby's name. Only she can access it when she turns twenty-one." He slides another envelope towards me. "I know you think what I did was wrong, but I wanted what was best for Gemma and Ruby."

"What was best was to leave them with me in the first place."

"So you could break them both?" he sneers. "You were never good enough for Gemma, and you still aren't."

"You don't even know me," I spit. "You have no idea who I am."

He smirks. "I know a lot more than you think, Cameron Fletcher." He pushes to stand. "I can only hope Gemma and Ruby wake up before it's too late."

I head back to the clubhouse, stopping at the office. Axel looks up and asks, "You get it?" I nod, holding up the envelope. "Good. Lexi set up a room on your floor for Ruby. She's gone for a lie-down."

I thank him and head upstairs. I sit on my bed and open the envelopes. The first is a birth certificate for Ruby, with mine and Gemma's names as parents. The second is the bank details for Ruby. I reach under my bed and retrieve the file I took from Gemma's. I open it and lay it on the bed, staring at the picture of myself as a child. I was a scrawny kid who needed a haircut and a good bath. I smile sadly at the picture before turning it over and picking up the social services report.

I scan the document, the worst bits standing out. Malnourished. Scared. Unkempt . Cameron's mother explicitly asked for us to remove him from her care as she no longer feels she can give him the care he needs. When removing Cameron from the property, she made no move to say goodbye or to console him. I shake my head. What kind of woman ignores her child when he's screaming for her because he's terrified? I slam the folder closed. I don't need to read it because I've read it a hundred times or more and the memories haunt me still.

There's a light knock on the door. "Come in," I mutter.

Ruby pokes her head in. "Did you find Gemma?"

"I haven't been out to look yet. Are you comfortable staying here tonight?"

She smiles. "Yes. I love it here." She sighs. "When you find her, please work things out. I really want you to get along." I give a slight nod. "She's not a bad person."

"I know," I say.

"She's still the girl you loved back when you were both young."

"Nah," I say, standing, "she isn't. And neither am I. But that's okay because we're older and wiser." I place an arm around her and lead her back to her room. "Stop worrying, I'll make everything right."

"If she's not at home, I know where she might be."

Gemma

I stare out at the fast-flowing water. It's been a while since I felt the need to sit here and enjoy the peace. I stumbled across this part of the docks when I first moved here. I was checking out a tip that led to nothing, but I noticed this abandoned barge floating here and took an hour to sit and think over my life. I've come back several times since, just to get my head straight.

I thought moving here would be better for me, but seeing how messed-up Sarah was and how neglected Ruby felt just made me feel guilty. And my father proved pretty quickly that he hadn't changed. But Peter seemed so set on staying here. He said it was perfect for his career. Now, Sarah's left, my father texted me to say he was leaving too, and Peter has moved out. Everything just fell to shit, and it started when I decided to go after that damn biker club.

I groan, pushing to stand and gripping the rusty railings to peer over the edge. The water swirls in dark, murky circles, hitting the barge and splashing back.

"Nothing's that bad, Snap."

I startle at the sound of Fletch's voice. I glance his way, and he stuffs his hands in his pockets. He almost looks as defeated as me. "How did you find me?"

"Ruby said you like to come here when things get too much." I slide back down onto my backside and dangle my legs over the edge as Fletch joins me. "I think it's time we laid our cards on the table." He pulls out the photographs I'd thrown on Axel's desk from his pocket. "I'm sorry," he says clearly, ripping the pictures right down the middle. He sprinkles them into the water, and I watch them get swept under the waves. "When I saw you again in The Bar, time stood still, and I was transported right back to when we were younger. I loved you, Gemma. More than you could ever know."

I turn to stare at him, resting my cheek on the rusty rail. "I loved you too."

"The thing is, Gem, I still love you now. I don't think I ever really stopped."

My heart stutters in my chest. The words mean something when they come out of his mouth because I know love doesn't come easily to him. "I've fucked up," he continues, "and I don't even know where to start or how to make it right, but I will . . . if you'll let me."

"So much has happened," I utter.

"I push people away," he confesses. "The second they get too close, I find an excuse to push them away. I didn't mean to hurt you again." He sighs heavily. "That's a lie—I knew I'd hurt you, but I didn't stop to think it through. I just wanted you to back off the club because . . . I know you don't understand, but they're my family, and I'd do anything to protect them."

"I know," I whisper.

"It wasn't a lie. The way I feel or anything that happened between us since you came back wasn't a lie," he tells me. "I said it to hurt you, to push you away, but everything we did was because I wanted it to happen. I love you, Gemma, and I can't lie to myself anymore."

"I thought I could make you trust me," I admit with a small smile. "I underestimated how much the club means to you."

"I've spent my life not feeling connected to anything. I was unwanted and unloved." My heart twists, and I place my hand over his. "With you, things felt good, but even you were ashamed. That abandoned house I took you to, that was my house, Gem, and you were so disgusted, I lied because I thought you'd leave if you knew the truth. I never felt good enough, and you only instilled that by sneaking around."

I go to reply, but he holds a hand up, so I clamp my mouth shut. "I get why you did that, but at the time, I felt rejected . . . again. So, I tried to let you down gently, but you wouldn't give up on me. You made excuses for my shitty behaviour, and I knew the only way out was to sleep with Kate."

"You could've just told me straight, Fletch."

He nods. "I know that now, but I was still an immature kid. Did you read my file?"

I still at his words. "File?" I repeat.

"I found it at your place," he admits. "It was my social services records."

I sigh, realising he's caught me out. "I just wanted to know more about you, Fletch. You don't open up."

"Because I don't want you to look at me differently," he explains, sounding frustrated. "There's no big mystery. My mum was shit at being a mum and she gave me up. I bounced from one home to the next because no one could handle me, and then I was put up in that shithole with a man old enough to be Jesus himself. He was a drug dealer on the social services books as a temporary foster carer. Once I went there, they didn't give a shit about me. They knew Terry would be able to keep me in line, and he did. He's the reason I got into drugs and crime, but he's also the reason I ended up meeting The Chaos Demons. And without them, fuck knows where I'd be now."

He takes my hand in his and interlinks our fingers. We both stare at the connection. "We've made such a mess of everything," I say.

"It's not too late to fix it," he says with hope in his voice.

"Isn't it?" I ask, staring down at the water. "We've hurt each other so much."

"I have no secrets, Gem. Yeah, the club does what it needs to, and it's not always the way you'd do things, but you'll never see that side."

"What are you asking me?"

"To give us a chance. We haven't really tried, but when it's just the two of us, it feels right. Take out all the shit we've done and we're good together."

"What happens when you get arrested and thrown in prison? Because that will happen. You can't try and own these streets and not get caught."

"We're doing alright so far," he says with a smirk.

"I'm serious, Fletch. When you get caught, where will that leave me and Ruby?"

"I won't get caught."

"I can't risk it."

He groans, resting his forehead on the bar and staring out ahead. "Don't you think we've wasted enough time? We could just live day by day, in the moment."

"We have a responsibility now," I argue.

"Fuck's sake, Gemma, stop making excuses. If you don't want to be with me, just tell me straight so I can stop wanting you." He stands. "I can't keep begging you to see what I see. We have a future together, me, you, and Ruby. You just have to say yes."

He walks away, and I stare after him. My heart hurts. Taking a risk on Fletch for a third time is just plain stupid, but everything in me wants to go to him. I love him.

Fletch

I'm about to push my helmet on when I hear her call my name. I still and slowly turn, watching as Gemma rushes towards me. "Wait," she calls.

I swore that if she let me leave, that would be it. I'd draw a line under us and move forward. I'd concentrate on being a father to Ruby, and I'd put everything into her.

And now, as Gemma stops in front of me, I'm suddenly lost for words. "I've never been ashamed of you," she says, her breathing rapid from running. "I'm not ashamed to be with you, Fletch, because I do love you. I've always loved you. But being with you scares the shit out of me."

I give a tight nod. "Okay." And I turn away to get on my bike.

"But," she continues, and I pause again, "if I don't at least try, I'll hate myself." I slowly turn back to face her, and she's smiling. "I love you," she adds.

"You're serious?" She nods with a huge grin. "Because I can't take it if you change your mind."

"I won't."

My heart slams hard against my chest, not quite daring to believe what she's telling me. "You know what you're agreeing to?"

"Being your old lady," she whispers with a glint in her eye.

"Being my old lady," I confirm, nodding. I grab her by the waist and pull her into my arms. She laughs, and I swing her around. "For the first time ever, we're doing this out in the open."

"Looks that way."

I kiss her, sliding her down my body. "I think I might just be the happiest man alive right now, Snap."