Chapter 18

18

JAXON

The weeks are flying by, and May is just around the corner. Time is going by way too fast, and before I know it, we’ll be going on tour. Zander’s still trying to convince Melody to come with us and Micah’s also working on Lyric. The thought of having two babies on the road with us is daunting. I’m also excited for them since they’d get to share this crazy journey with their families. I’ll be flying solo as well. But I haven’t given up on Aria since she’s still working from home.

Every week that passes by without an answer from her is like a wound to my heart. Yes, I know I told her she didn’t have to let me know until I asked her again. But I was hoping she’d take the initiative and tell me on her own. I remind her every time we make love, talk on the phone, grab a bite to eat, or kiss each other goodnight. I tell her I love her, not because I have to but because I want to. It’s important that she knows how I feel every minute of every day. As soul crushing as it is, I don’t want her to use those words unless she means them. Unless she wants to. And I know her actions speak for themselves. I know that. So why does my mind constantly fuck with me? Doubting how she really cares about me? I don’t know. Your guess is as good as mine.

Enough on that topic right now because it drives me fucking crazy if I dwell on it for any length of time.

On a lighter note. Today we’re going over the tour merchandise that will be sold at the venues. It’s a big deal since this is the first time we get a say in what we want at the concerts. Anything from T-shirts, hoodies, bracelets, phone cases, koozies, stickers, keychains, and so much more. The choices are mind-blowing and it’s understandable why it can get out of hand. Ace and Zander want guitar picks with the logo, but I’d love to see a backpack or tote bag with our logo. We’ll let Caleb make the final decision, but we want to pick out the designs ourselves.

After this week, it’s going to be nonstop work since we’ll be practicing daily. Ace claims it’s back to the day job, and I have to agree with him. But if we’re going to pull off this tour, we need to build up our stamina since we’ve been idle for so long. Touring takes a toll on your body and God knows I haven’t been working out as much as I used to. It’s so easy to fall into old habits unless you stay disciplined and work really hard at it. Something I haven’t done since coming home. I’m sporadic at best. I only have myself to blame and the million excuses I come up with on the daily.

I’m just about to leave when a call comes in. When I notice it’s Mom, I answer. Curious to find out what wedding dilemma she has this week. “Hey, Mom. Let me guess, Croatia is out of the question for the destination…”

“Jax, it’s Jim. I’m at the hospital. Can you come, please?”

“I’m on my way…” All sorts of crazy ideas run through my mind when Jim—my stepdad—quickly hangs up. Did he already call Melody or should I? I decide to head to the hospital like he asked and find out once I get there. I’ve no idea why he’s using mom’s phone instead of his.

Stupid crazy thoughts continue to race through my mind as I get on the highway. I know driving like a maniac isn’t the smartest thing to do, but I’m desperate to find out what the hell’s going on. I need to keep my cool not only for Mom but for my sister as well. This is not the time for me to fall apart. I can’t help wondering if Jim’s sick and hiding something from her.

I’m angry as I drive to the hospital, because I have movie-like memories playing inside my head. Good times and bad. When Jim proposed to my mom, he asked for our blessing. It was a no-brainer since he’s an amazing man. We were there for him when his son Ezra was killed by a drunk driver. He was the drummer for Reckless Melody, which is my sister’s band. Damn good one, too. And he was there for Melody’s wedding and the birth of her daughter Hadley. And a million other family events and parties.

I barely have time to park the car when I run into the emergency room blurting out, “Jim Mathews called to meet him here. Can someone tell me what room he’s in?” I come to a screeching halt in front of reception. Waiting. All eyes fixed on me.

“Are you a relative?” Is she fucking serious?

“Yes, I’m his stepson. Jaxon Carter.”

“Mrs. Mathews is in the ICU. Room 312. Down the hall, first door on the left.”

Mrs. Mathews? Jim called because my mom’s in the ICU.

Racing down the hall, I almost bump into him as he walks out of the room. Panic starts to set in when he stands in front of the door, blocking me from going inside. His expression is pained with regret. “Jim, move. Now!” No one is going to stop me from seeing her.

“Trish had a stroke. I gave her some aspirin at home, and EMT gave her some TPA when they got to the house. Now they’re running some tests and following up with other medications in case of a seizure or blood clot. Melody’s on her way.”

Stroke. Fuck! Mom had a stroke. It’s all my damn fault because of all the lies and deception. She’s been stressing out making wedding plans and I’ve no idea if there’s going to be a damn wedding. If anything happens to her, I’ll never forgive myself. Never.

When I see Melody come flying around the corner, I open up my arms and she crashes into them. Sobbing like her heart’s breaking. As much as I could join her, I can’t. I need to be strong for Jim and Mel. Mom, too, because I have a feeling that this is going to be the beginning of a very long road.

ARIA

Silas sent me an email this morning with the ad copy for the article I wrote. The one about me and Jax. It’s going to be in the June issue of Glamify . I’m ecstatic that he didn’t nix my idea. Since Jax normally reads all of my articles, he should know the couple is actually us. That should make for some good conversation.

I must admit, I like working from home. At first, I was upset and thought I was being punished. Until Silas let me know I’m the only one he trusts not to screw off and still make my deadline. It’s a roundabout compliment, but I’ll take it.

Everyone told me just to stay in my pajamas all day, but I refuse to get in that habit. Once I start, it would be a hard habit to break. It’s the reason I stuck to my normal routine; the only difference is I work from home instead of jumping in the car to drive there. Some days I wear makeup, some days I don’t. That’s about the only thing that’s changed.

Now it’s lunchtime so I’m more than ready to finish the rest of my salad I picked up yesterday. Taking a full hour is no longer necessary since I enjoy getting off work early. Shh, don’t tell the boss. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

After grabbing everything out of the fridge, my phone rings. No worries. I can eat and chat at the same time. Contrary to what some people think, I can multitask.

“Hey, Mom, great timing. I was about to eat lunch.”

“Sweetie, I just wanted to let you know that Jim called. Trish had a stroke and she’s at the hospital.”

“Oh no! Did Jim mention how she’s doing? Poor Jax, I’m leaving right now. I need to be there for him. Are you going?”

“No details. Just that they gave her some medicine and they’re running a bunch of tests. My poor Trish. She must be so damn scared. I don’t want to be in the way. Can you call me when you find out anything?”

“Absolutely. I got to go. I’ll keep you posted.” Luckily, I’m dressed and ready to hit the road.

My heart goes out to all of them. I’m sure Jax, Melody, and Jim are beside themselves with worry. Trish is the glue that holds that family together. They’d all fall apart without her.

Stop, Aria. Don’t even think those nasty thoughts. She’s a fighter and a strong woman. She’ll get through this; I know she will.

I’ve always hated walking into hospitals. My mom told me that I had a bad experience when I was around eight. Ever since then, I avoid it all costs. Upon questioning, she refused to tell me about the incident. I might not know why I fear them, but I’ve done some research and nosocomephobia is the fear of hospitals. Just the name is scary in itself. And I’m sure the smell of antiseptic and the hustle and bustle compounds the problem. Making it more overwhelming than need be.

The doors open wide with a whoosh as I step through. My palms are sweating and my heart’s pounding. I do my best to ignore it as I approach the desk.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for Trish Mathews’ room.”

“Are you a relative of Ms. Mathews?” Not quite but soon to be.

“I’m engaged to Jaxon Carter. Ms. Mathews’ son.” Holding up my ring, I wiggle my left hand. I’d say she’s quite impressed by the antique ring that’s adorning the fourth finger on my left hand.

Another nurse steps around the desk, “I was just going to her room, follow me.” I’m relieved that I have reinforcements. It gives me a chance to prepare myself before walking into her room.

“You’ll need to wait outside for now. Only one visitor per fifteen minutes. I’m sure you understand that immediate family comes first.”

“Of course. I’m here for my fiancée and to support the family in any way that I can.” I stop dead in my tracks as I round the corner and see Stephanie sitting next to Jax. Holding his hand? What the ever living…

“Aria, you’re here.” In an instant, I’m engulfed in his arms. If looks could kill, I’d be dead because my sister’s not too happy I’m here. We step away from the others to speak in private.

“Jax, how’s your mom? The nurse mentioned only one at a time can visit.” I catch Stephanie staring at me. I’m not here to fight with my sister. I’m here for Jax.

“Considering the state she’s in, she’s doing well. Jim thought quickly and gave her some aspirin before calling nine-one-one. As soon as they got to the house, they gave her that medicine to break up blood clots. She’s resting right now since she’s exhausted from the whole ordeal.”

“Do they have any idea what caused the stroke? Will she need to have surgery?” Maybe I’m asking too many questions. The results probably haven’t even come back yet. Mrs. Mathews always looked like the picture of health, so for something like this to happen, it’s very scary.

“What if she’s stressed from making all these wedding plans?” Jax says. “I keep blaming myself since I’m the one who keeps changing things up. And I know she was really upset about the tour schedule. Insisting on that damn destination wedding and I kept fighting her every step of the way. God, if she ever finds out that this was just a fake engagement…”

Pressing my fingers to his lips, I whisper, “I wanted you to know that our fake relationship is very real to me now, Jax.” This might not be the time or place to tell him those three little words, but I’m so ready. I open my mouth to let him know when Melody comes flying out of her mom’s room.

“This can’t be happening. We could have lost her today and I…”

Jax gives me a big squeeze and then grabs his sister, consoling her, while Jim slips back into Trish’s room. I’m sure he doesn’t want her to be alone for one second. Even a strong woman needs to lean on someone at some point in time.

Feeling awkward, I sit across from Stephanie, not giving her the time of day. A part of me wants to scream at her for trying to console my fiancé, but I decide to be the bigger person. No doubt Mom called her to let her know what happened, but for the life of me, I have no idea why she would. She gave up that right when she broke up with Jax.