Chapter 12

12

JAXON

“Jax, are you okay?” She begins stroking my hair, wiping my brow and rubbing my back. My eyes are closed but I’m sure she’s worried. I haven’t moved, spoken, or taken a breath. Nothing could have prepared me for this moment. Being intimate with Aria was euphoric. It’s the only word that comes to mind, but I’m sure there’s a better one out there in the universe. I just need more time to think.

Without missing a beat, I crush my mouth against hers. Getting lost in the kiss. The feel of her lips, her body against mine. So soft and responsive. The taste of her still lingers on my tongue. It’s a harsh reminder that it won’t last, and neither will this fake relationship. My heart skips a beat and cracks somewhere deep inside my chest. Causing me to retreat.

Slipping into my jeans, I head for the bathroom. Needing some space apart to gather my thoughts. Do I ask her to stay, or do I let her go? My minds a jumbled mess and it’s imperative I keep my head in the game. No distractions. Fuck, I promised myself after Stephanie broke my heart that I wouldn’t do it ever again! And look what happened. I fell hard and fast for her sister. Her sister!

This dull ache that snakes its way into my veins suddenly takes over. Forcing me to dig deep for something to hold onto. I need to focus. On my music.

Running down the stairs, I fling open the door to the studio, throw on my headphones, and sit behind my kit. As soon as the music reaches my ears, I begin to relax. Grabbing my sticks, I start playing our new songs while memories of Aria flash through my mind:

“Hi I’m Aria and I’m going to be a writer someday.” Even at twelve years old she knew what she wanted out of life. Just like I knew I wanted to be a musician.

The next time I went to her house, she was spinning on the tire swing in the backyard. Head thrown back, looking up at the big beautiful blue sky. Innocent laughter bubbling from her toes.

Her first day of high school was a bust and she was devastated. Until I mentioned my first day and we laughed until we cried. She agreed, mine was so much worse than hers.

She was glowing the day she graduated from high school. Valedictorian, I might add. That first day just a memory in the rearview mirror.

Then off to Northwestern with a full ride to be the best journalist she could be. With big hopes and dreams that came to fruition with tons of grit and determination.

My little poppet. It’s a British term for a young child. It’s similar to sweetie, or dear. I tried those on her and she hated them. When I used the name poppet, she giggled and blushed. So that became my new nickname for the young girl who had me wrapped around her little finger.

Time effortlessly passes by and when I set down my sticks, peel off my headphones, and open my eyes, Aria is curled up on the chair across the room.

“Hope you don’t mind. The music led me straight to you.” I’ve heard that line before. Somewhere. I know I did.

Racking my brain, I finally get it. Bless The Broken Road by Rascal Flatts. They don’t mention the word ‘music’ in the lyrics, but I’ll bet it’s the song she’s thinking of. And when I silently sing the lyrics to myself, I lose my breath. It’s as if this song were written just for us. She’s a smart girl and she knows I get it.

“Aria, I don’t expect you to…”

In an instant, she’s standing in front of me with her finger on my lips. Stopping me from saying what I was about to say.

“Please just hear me out.” When I nod, she removes her finger. “The other day when you mentioned being with the wrong sister, I thought you were crazy. Until I gave it some serious thought. You might be right. What if you stayed with Stephanie all these years because you couldn’t bear the thought of losing me?” Is there any such thing as an orgasmic disfunction? Because I seriously think she’s lost her mind.

“We had amazing sex, but I don’t want you confusing that with love, and emotions.” I’m the fucking fool since I’m the one who’s been fixated on her since I concocted this whole damn plan.

“Stop. Just put your listening ears on for once in your life.” Wow, now she sounds like my mom.

“Listening. Carry on.” Shaking her head, she huffs out a breath.

“Whatever. Maybe it was a speech you made up on the fly to pacify me and my parents, but what if it’s true? What if you stayed in a loveless relationship because you wanted to keep me and my family close? It makes sense, since we’ve been a part of your life for over fifteen years. It’s harder to let go when something’s so familiar.”

“I’m so confused, Aria. Wasn’t it just a few hours ago that you kept reminding me how fake this relationship is? Then after we make love it magically becomes real?”

“That was amazing, by the way, and I’m angry that you left me without a word, but we can discuss that later. It’s obvious that you and I have an extraordinary bond. It’s something far bigger than the two of us combined.”

“Okay, say it’s true. What’s your point to all of this? Just spit it out.” Clearly, we’re both getting frustrated, and I hate analyzing shit to death. Serves no purpose.

“You’re such a party pooper. My point is that whenever you’re around, I feel seen and valued. No one else has given me a sense of belonging other than you. Not even my own parents. You’ve always been the keeper of my secrets and my misguided thoughts. So, if you want to stay in denial then so be it. I, on the other hand, will finally admit defeat. I am irrevocably yours, Jaxon Carter.”

ARIA

As far as Jax is concerned, I’ve lost it. So much is clicking into place, all at once. And I know being a journalist has its benefits, but sometimes when I’m so close to a theory, it backfires on me. This could be one of those times. Time will tell, but by the look on his face, I think he’s still out on the fence.

“Let me get this straight. As far as you’re concerned, this relationship isn’t fake anymore. It’s very much real?” Yikes, coming from his lips it sounds so damn crazy. Sounded great rolling around in my brain.

“Yeah, I guess. Promise I won’t give you any grief or bring up the word ‘fake’ anymore. Let’s just see where it takes us, is all.” If people came in off the street, they’d have no idea I’m a journalist. Words seem to fail me whenever he’s around.

“I agree. We’ll take it one day at a time and see what happens. As far as the sex goes,” he quickly stands and walks around his kit. He grabs my arms so we’re facing each other, leans in, and whispers, “Rex was wrong. You’re not cold in bed. You’re a very naughty girl and you have a filthy mouth. You’re every man’s wet dream, but I’m so glad your mine.”

When he spins on his heels, leaving me needy and alone, I lash out. “Thanks for the heads up because now you’re on your own.”

Laughter fills the air as he strides out of the room. Dammit!

Now that the after-sex glow has disappeared into thin air, I mull over the whole conversation. I’m such an idiot. I swear an alien took over my mind and body and just vomited shit all over the studio floor. What the hell was that? A mistake is what it is, Aria. You made an ass out of yourself, is what you did.

Tiptoeing out of the studio, I glance both ways. When I notice the bathroom door is closed, I make a run for it. I stopped over after work to get everything off of my chest and the only thing that came off were my clothes! Look how that turned out. Hey, no complaints in the sex department because that man has skills, but I don’t know when to leave well enough alone.

Nope, not me.

I marched into the studio and was struck stupid when he was immersed in his music. I’ve never been known to walk away from a private concert and I’m not about to start.

Embarrassed as all hell, I back the car out of the drive and hit the road. It’s time to put some distance between us and see what happens. Nowhere does it state that engaged couples need to see each other daily. So this is me making my escape and waiting for him to text or call. It’s high time he makes the first move since he concocted this crazy plan in the first place. Yes, and I’m the foolish one who went along with it. Thought I’d say it first before you did.

By the time I get home, I’m starving with no ambition to cook. I set my purse on the counter and rifle through the cupboards in search of food. There’s not much to choose from. I have no choice but to settle on a yogurt and a few stale crackers that I had left over from a party. How long has it been since I had that party? I get the urge to tip over the box to look at the expiration date. Then decide against it when my stomach protests. What’s the worst-case scenario if I eat outdated crackers?

I’m brushing the crumbs off my chest when my phone rings. Ignoring it, I head for the bathroom so I can take a long, leisurely bath. Oops, almost forgot. Wine is delicious with a bubble bath.

After grabbing the bottle out of the fridge, I hunt for a glass. Then I decide, why dirty another one? It’s not like I’m entertaining. It’s only me, myself, and I.

Setting the water to get the temp just right, I throw in some brown sugar vanilla bubble bath. It was a Christmas gift from Macy.

Oh no! Macy called and sent me several texts after our engagement hit the tabloids and I’d forgotten to get back to her. She’s going to kill me.

It must be around ten, so I decide it’s too late to call her back tonight. I make a mental note to do it first thing in the morning. Before leaving for work. Now I just need to decide if I should tell her the truth or lie through my teeth. Apparently, I still have the sex afterglow because I’m not thinking straight. The truth it is. She’d see right through me if I didn’t tell her anyway. Hard to pull anything over on her. She’s seen it all. Probably lived it, too.

Slipping into the luxurious bath, I grab my bottle of wine and take a sip. It’s exactly what I needed after a long and emotional day. Telling Jax about my sordid affair with Rex wasn’t the highlight of my day, but he didn’t judge. I’m forever grateful for that. And if I’m being honest, for the great sex, too. I’m already sore in spots that I’d forgotten existed since it’s been months without.

Another sip of wine and I sink down a little further. Until I’m neck dip in the sudsy warmth. Best not to stay in here too long because the wine’s making me sleepy. It’s either that or the fact that I didn’t have much to eat today. Oh, and I did get a good workout today too. A workout of the best kind.

Time ticks by and as soon as I feel myself slipping away, I drain the bath and step out. Thankfully, I had set the bottle on the floor earlier, otherwise I would have spilled the wine. That would have been horrible since it’s my last bottle.

After drying off and slipping into my tank and shorts, I stroll into the kitchen and grab my phone. Wow. I have several missed calls and a few voicemails from Jax. He hates texting because he claims he’s all thumbs and never can spell anything correctly.

I chuckle when I listen to his first voicemail. “Do you know what I do to naughty little girls when they leave without a goodbye? A spanking.”