Chapter Fourteen

"Four words that will poison your life forever."

Chad could think of a few.

I know your secrets.

Romeo Knight is alive.

Romeo doesn't love you.

He can't love you.

You'll never be enough.

Chad tightened his fist into the cushion on his lap.

Damn Vincent Whitehall and his smug sneer and laughing eyes. Chad wanted … oh, God, he needed Romeo to—

"Four words?" Romeo repeated. "Four words to bring about your downfall."

Chad nodded from where he lay out on the sofa. Romeo had his arms folded and beat a finger against the bulge of one of his biceps. He'd been tense since Chad had first retold his conversation with Vincent, unconsciously showcasing all his muscle as if a threat lay on the horizon.

He looked, in a word, dangerous, and Chad's throat tightened.

They fell into silence again with Romeo staring out of the window, and Chad laying on his back trying his hardest to keep his thoughts away from Romeo's hands and all the wonderful and terrible things they could do.

But he was angry, and frustrated, and he failed to keep his damning thoughts at bay.

"Tell me again." Romeo's voice startled Chad's mind back to the present. He'd been drifting, swept away with thoughts of Romeo wrapping his hands around Vincent's neck and squeezing until his eyes teased falling from their sockets.

His blood rushed south at such a thought.

Four words. Romeo wouldn't let him speak any given the chance. Four gurgles maybe. Four gasps of breaths if Chad asked Romeo to drag it out.

He knew Romeo would if he asked.

"Chad!"

Chad avoided Romeo's gaze, but the snap in his voice said he wasn't satisfied with his recollection.

"Tell me exactly what you said, and what he said back."

"Again?" Chad groaned and shifted the cushion conveniently placed over his crotch. He hit a new low, getting hard just thinking about Romeo strangling someone.

It wasn't a memory, it was a fantasy. He was fantasizing about Romeo's hands on someone, trapping their last breath inside their chest until they ran out of oxygen.

"Yes! And stop kneading that cushion."

Romeo grabbed it and threw it across the room. Chad snatched up another one, and hugged it to himself, blushing furiously.

"Can't we just … you know, watch something on TV or go to bed—"

"No."

Romeo sat down on the coffee table maintaining his arms crossed posture, his spine taut, body ready for Vincent to fly through the door. His fingers were no longer splayed casually over his biceps. They were squeezing, even his tapping finger had stopped in favor of strangling his arms.

"Romeo, I've already told you five times."

Five times Chad had repeated what had happened with Vincent, and each time Romeo had brooded over the retelling, staring at nothing while his stiff, straining body had robbed Chad of logical thought.

"Yes, but each time there's slight discrepancies."

Chad crossed his arms, not in a macho display, his muscles were laughable compared to Romeo's, but he knotted them together in a sign of offense. His memory wasn't the problem. His frustration over Vincent had latched on to Romeo and turned into a different kind, but that didn't mean he couldn't accurately recall what he said.

He was a detective with an eye for detail and the memory to match.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Well. When you said, ‘Let's hear them?' did you say to Vincent to do his worst, or to do his best?"

"Worst—"

"Are you sure? The second time you told me you said best."

"I said do your worst." Chad looked away. "And he had this smug assed look in his eye like he could see the fucking future, like I was an idiot for not being able to see it, too." Chad reached down for the magpie cushion. He sunk his nails into it. "And before the drive, when he mentioned you, he used the present tense, like he knew. Like he knows."

"He doesn't. It was a stab at you, that's all."

"A stab?"

Romeo hummed. "Like he did with James and his daughter, a little stab to see what reaction he could get. He probably wanted you to correct him, that way it would've reminded you that I, the man you were unfortunate enough to fall in love with, was dead and you were responsible for it."

Chad sat up so fast he got a headrush. "My fault? How the hell is it my fault?"

"You're the reason I got locked up, escaped, and concluded my countdown with Marc. I committed suicide because I'd finished what I'd started. Hence, your fault—"

"Hey, wait just a minute—"

"Chad. You do know I'm not actually dead, right?"

"Yeah, well." He collapsed back down. "I still don't like the assumption that you're dead because of me, even if it's not true."

Romeo allowed a small smile. He relaxed his death hold on his biceps a fraction.

"And what was it he said, ‘Psychopaths can't love, they can't feel…"

"They're just very good at manipulating na?ve people into thinking they do." Chad finished. He stopped tracing the magpie picture on the cushion when another lapse of silence fell over them. This time, he didn't get a chance for his mind to wander, not with Romeo frowning at him.

"What?" Chad asked. "What have I done now?"

"Psychopaths can't love, they can't feel, but they're very good at manipulating na?ve people into thinking they can. That's what you told me he said the first time—"

"And that's what I said."

"No. You changed can for do."

"Christ," Chad growled, rolling into the back of the sofa. Romeo clutched Chad by the shoulder and pulled him back again so they were looking at each other, albeit Chad struggled to meet Romeo's dark gaze.

"It means the same thing," Chad whispered.

"No, it doesn't."

Romeo delivered his most pressing glare. The one that left Chad feeling like an insignificant bug that he was contemplating stepping on. Chad avoided it, staring down at the cushion he crushed to his body while trying to work out the difference between a can and a do, and whether he could remember which one Vincent had said anymore.

It was a little difficult with his cock demanding attention and his mind happy to drift back to thoughts of Vincent's death.

"Do you want to me to explain it to you?"

Romeo's words were slow, and tinged with frustration, but they didn't help Chad solve the sudden riddle that had reared its ugly head. The heat of his glare, the slow drawl of his words—Chad knew he was pissed, he even knew what had made him annoyed, but didn't understand why.

He exhaled. "I think you need to."

Chad regretted glancing Romeo's way when his nostrils flared, and the scar by his eye twitched.

"They're very good at convincing na?ve people they can. Vincent attacked you and Tate in that stab for a reaction. Both of you grew attached to a serial killer. Both believed that a serial killer cared about you."

"Yes. I understood his perceived insult. His comparison of me and Tate and how I was as naive as a teenager. Thanks for explaining it to me…"

"By changing can to a do you made it present, you made it about us … us now." Romeo gestured to Chad with his chin. "This."

Chad's brain spun. He let go of the cushion while shaking his head.

"No—"

"Psychopaths can't love, they manipulate people into thinking they do. Do, Chad. You said do. Present tense. You were talking about me."

Chad groaned, sitting up. He swiveled and put both his feet on the floor. "Romeo," he placed his hands on Romeo's knees. "You're wrong. I wasn't accusing you of manipulating

me—"

"Why not?" Romeo tilted his head. "I'm a psychopath after all."

Chad didn't shy from the darkness in Romeo's eyes. He stared into it, undeterred. Those storm clouds were his storm clouds, and he knew the difference, he knew when Romeo's monstrous needs took over, and when he was just pissed.

"One who enjoys killing people," Romeo continued, "and I have everything I could ever want to be satisfied. A home. Money. Sex. And I get to kill people because my boyfriend is too na?ve to realize I don't love him. I make him think I do to get what I want. This is my master plan. It only took you a few years to work it out."

"Stop it," Chad said firmly. "I know you love me, Romeo."

Romeo stiffened his jaw. His expression remained emotionless.

"Or maybe I'm just good at being a psychopath."

"Okay." Chad rolled his eyes. "You keep telling yourself that." He brushed his hands up Romeo's legs until he could grip his waist. "We both know it's a lie."

He leaned in, but Romeo swerved from the kiss, and spoke by Chad's ear. "Why then, have you struggled to look at me for the past hour?"

Chad swallowed. He retracted his arms from sneaking around Romeo's waist and flopped back against the sofa. "Fuck."

"Yeah," Romeo growled. "Fuck. You said you weren't going to let him in your head, and one comment is all it took?"

"He is in my head, but not for that reason."

"Why is he there then? Why say do instead of can?"

Chad scrubbed a hand over his mouth. "Because…"

"Because what?"

"I've repeated mine and Vincent's conversation five times, and it was a slip up, an innocent slip of a word. That's all."

"But subconsciously—"

"No, there is no subconsciously. I was distracted, that's all." He pushed to his feet, and rested his hands on Romeo's shoulders. He shook him. "That's all it was. I love you, you love me—"

"Then why are you about to leave the room?"

Chad glanced at the door. "Because I know the next questions will be ‘distracted with what'…"

"I already know. You told me. Vincent is in your head, but not in the way I thought. Whatever the hell that means."

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Chad…"

"If I tell you, do you promise to lighten up?"

"No. But you should tell me anyway."

"I was distracted with the thought of you killing him," Chad said to the door. "And the whole time I was thinking about it and … I had a … reaction and then it was difficult to concentrate on recalling exactly what he said when I was imaging you strangling him."

Romeo didn't say anything. No inappropriate comment, no pressing for more information, not even a laugh. Chad shifted from one foot to the other, still watching the door. Even that felt like it was judging him.

"So … are you good to take Merc out for his toilet? Because I'm exhausted."

He side-stepped away from Romeo, expecting to be yanked back or bullied against the wall, but Romeo sat frozen on the coffee table, and Chad rushed out of the room, leaving the door open in his haste. His admission had stunned a serial killer. He'd left Romeo speechless, and as he paused on the stairs, waiting for Romeo to come barreling after him, his breaths came in pants, and panic clawed at him.

He hadn't been lying on the sofa remembering Romeo killing people and their hot sex afterwards, and he hadn't been thinking about erotic asphyxiation in porn. He'd been fantasizing about Romeo killing Vincent, moving them both around in his head like pawns and turning himself on while he lay on the sofa.

Vincent's suffering.

Romeo's pleasure.

Chad's thrill of watching Vincent die.

Not to mention, what him and Romeo would do to each other afterwards while Vincent's dead body lay on the floor.

He sat on the top step and listened as Romeo took Merc out the kitchen door. Time jumped while he leaned his head on the wall, and he blinked at the vibration of the back door slamming.

"Night, Merc," Romeo murmured, shutting him in the kitchen. Then Chad tensed as Romeo strode past the stairs, not noticing Chad sat at the top, and locked the front door. He didn't startle when he turned to face him. Chad had learned long ago that startling Romeo was near enough impossible, but he did pause.

"I'm messed up, aren't I?" Chad said.

"You surprise me with new things that make you perfect."

"Me fantasizing about you killing people makes me perfect."

"Yes. For me it does."

Chad snorted, picking plaster from the wall.

Romeo didn't complain about the flakes dropping down.

"I really hate him, Romeo."

"I know," the stairs creaked as he made his approach, "and I wish I could kill him for you."

"I wish that, too."

"But right now, I'll settle for you imagining me doing it." He held his hand out to Chad. He took it and was yanked to his feet. "We can have fun with that."

"But—"

"No buts, Chad."

Romeo stepped past him, still gripping Chad's hand and led him into the bedroom.

****

Romeo wanted Chad to share the fantasy.

Speak it out loud while they touched each other.

He tried, but shame gagged Chad from revealing it, and Romeo didn't force the words from him. He could've. He could've played dirty and worked Chad over until he was desperate and had no choice but to crack open his depraved mind and let Romeo see, but he didn't push. Chad had Romeo on his back. Romeo pulled him down to kiss, and stroke, and touch until Chad was sweat covered and aching.

He struggled free of Romeo's arms, and sat up to set about worshipping what had spawned his fantasy in the first place.

He gnawed Romeo's knuckles, nipping his way up to his fingertips before kissing them. Kissing became sucking, and he sucked each finger deep before moving on to lick and kiss across Romeo's palms. Romeo didn't comment on Chad's obsession with his hands, but he grinned, pleased that Chad had trouble leaving them alone.

Chad led one to his cock and let Romeo jerk him until he was close.

"Enough foreplay," Chad panted, yanking Romeo's wrist until he let go.

He took a minute to catch his breath, staring down at Romeo beneath him, his chest glistening and his eyes on fire.

Romeo preferred control, but occasionally he allowed Chad to be on top of him. He could and would flip position if the need to have a helpless Chad got too much, so Chad took what he could for as long as Romeo let him have it.

He shifted onto his knees and reached behind himself with spit covered fingers.

Romeo's gaze was locked on Chad's eyes as he speared himself open. He sat up and wrapped his arms around Chad's back, stilling his hand. "Slower, Chad."

"But—"

"Slower," Romeo said with a clear no arguments in his voice. He wiped spit across his fingers before slapping Chad's hand aside.

Chad shivered, and his cock leaked as Romeo's warm thick fingers penetrated him. His touch was maddeningly slow, but Chad didn't dare protest in case he stopped. Romeo rewetted his fingers, then held them beneath Chad's mouth for him to add his own spit to use.

They could've used lube. The bottle sat on the bedside table, but Chad's thoughts had been too depraved and damning for lube. He didn't want anything synthetic between them, just them raw and using each other's bodies to excite and pleasure each other.

Romeo let Chad take over and brought his hand to the front to squeeze Chad's pec. He leaned up to suck a pert nipple into his mouth as Chad bucked against him.

"You can't do that," Chad murmured.

His leaking cock left a wet trail across Romeo's belly button.

"Why not?"

Romeo kissed his way along to the other nipple before licking it. The hardened nub trembled when he sucked.

"Too much," Chad groaned.

Romeo released the nipple, easing back with a self-satisfied smirk.

A breathless laugh escaped Chad. He glanced down at his drooling cock. "I'm ready."

"Are you sure? I think another ten minutes of our fingers—"

"If you put your fingers anywhere near my hole right now, I will come all over you."

"It's tempting—"

"No, Romeo," Chad shoved him in the chest until he fell back on the mattress, snorting.

"It's really not." Chad hated the shrillness to his voice, but coming like that wouldn't satisfy him, not when he was that wound up.

He lifted onto his knees and took a rough hold of Romeo cock.

"Careful," Romeo warned, smirking.

"Shut up," Chad breathed. He sat himself down slowly, whimpering as Romeo's cock pushed against him.

It hurt.

He wasn't ready.

Chad rose, dropping more spit onto his hand. His desperation spilled over, and Romeo beneath him looked beyond pleased. Chad tried again, taking Romeo into his body. It was slow going, Chad shivering at every tantalizing millimeter his body devoured. Romeo watched himself go in, slack mouthed, then he groaned when Chad bottomed out.

"I love being inside you," Romeo cursed softly.

His eyes slid shut, and Chad couldn't resist the weight on his own lids as he closed his eyes too and focused on the sensation of being stuffed full of Romeo. He jolted when Romeo squeezed his thighs hard enough to leave bruises. His hands. Chad looked down at them clutching his skin as he started to move his hips. They tightened on him, applying more pressure to his legs until they ached.

Of course, Romeo had reopened his eyes and noticed Chad staring at his hands, riding harder and faster as their hold intensified.

Chad grinded on the cock deep inside him, never pulling off, but rocking his hips forward and back to press and tug Romeo's cock at the right angles.

"I need…" Chad bit his lip.

"What do you need?" Romeo asked.

"Your hand on me. Your hand squeezing me."

Romeo let go of Chad's thigh and reached for his cock.

Chad's eyebrows twitched. "You know that's not what I meant."

"I know," Romeo exhaled softly, and sat up. He pushed one hand against Chad's lower back to keep him steady and took hold of Chad's throat with the other. Chad moaned, riding Romeo harder before his fingers had even begun to tighten. He couldn't help it—it was the anticipation of the feeling that almost pushed him over.

A battle raged in Romeo's eyes. His desire pitted against his uncertainty. He relished being in control, but there was a part of him he couldn't tame, and Chad shamelessly put his throat in Romeo's hand and teased it.

"Keep going," Chad gasped. "Even if I pass out, keep going."

"Chad…"

"Please, Romeo. I want you to. I want to come back to you fucking me."

Romeo's hand was steel against his throat, digging in until Chad began to tingle all over. The bedroom turned monochrome before closing in on the fixed point of one of Romeo's eyes. Chad could see his reflection in the black orb, open mouthed, and shivering. His hips and knees weakened, the sudden heaviness building in his bones made it difficult to move on Romeo's cock. Romeo picked up the slack as Chad lost it until it was all Romeo fucking up into him while Chad's head filled with fuzz. His prostate took a pounding, and his cock twitched, threatening to go over. Romeo adjusted his hand, pressing the side of his thumb into Chad's neck, disrupting the flow of blood. Warmth rushed under his skin, filling his head until he couldn't see Romeo's eyes anymore.

The lights had gone out. He heard him, though, the change in Romeo's breathing, his cursing as Chad began to drift out of reach.

"Romeo," he whispered, but the sound strangled out of him as the world was swept away in dark pleasure.

Chad came to with a gasp.

Every nerve in his body fired at the same moment bringing him from drowsy and confused to shockingly aware in an instant. He squeezed his eyes shut and grit his teeth. The moan that escaped him vibrated as it passed them, rushing from his mouth and tingling his lips.

If the pleasure that had swept over him before had been black and numbing, this was its opposite, bright and electrified. Chad shivered, jerking uncontrollably, and he tried to stop himself by digging his fingers into hard flesh and pressing his face into a sweaty neck.

Romeo was saying his name—not saying, but groaning it, and cursing it and pressing it into his skin with sticky lips. Chad moaned again, another long one that came from somewhere deep and left his lungs aching, and his mouth buzzing. It sounded like someone else's—or something, something primal and overwhelmed.

He was moving, being thrust upwards by strong thighs, and thrust into by a hard cock, and he was taking the best kind of beating. The harsh fire in his nerves began to rescind, until it was just one area still pulsating deep inside him, still taking a beating he was utterly helpless to stop.

He chanted Romeo's name, clutching onto his shoulders as he came hard between them. Romeo turned his head, finding Chad's lips. Chad groaned his orgasm into Romeo's mouth, whimpering as Romeo's cock kept hitting him in just the right spot.

They swallowed each other's moans and whimpers as Romeo came undone inside Chad's body a few seconds later.

Chad peaked first, but his orgasm lasted longer, twitching his cock and wracking his body with shivers. Romeo pinned Chad to his chest, stroking his hand up and down his back while he waited for his body to stop threatening to fall to pieces. He slumped when the afterglow released its hold, and fell into Romeo, weak and panting. His head, pleasantly disjointed like he'd taken whiskey shots in quick succession but without the burn in his throat, or the nausea in his stomach. The world shifted in strange ways. He kept a tight hold of Romeo.

"Fuck," Chad breathed against him. He nuzzled his face into Romeo's sweat covered chest. It wasn't just sweat he'd mashed his face into, but his own come rushing between Romeo's pecs. "Fuck, Romeo."

"Fuck indeed," Romeo replied, his own voice breathless and tinged with relief.

"How long was I…"

"A few seconds. Three at the most. You … you went limp, and I stopped squeezing."

Chad peeled his cheek from Romeo's chest and looked up at him. "Are you … are you okay?"

"I've never heard you moan like that before," Romeo whispered, stroking a finger along Chad's nose. He touched Chad's cheek, and lips, even traced the shell of his ear all while staring at him with such wonder. "You've never come like that either."

Chad swiped his hand over the come dripping down Romeo's chest. It had even reached the hollow of his throat. Chad wiped it away with his thumb. "Sorry—"

"Don't you dare apologize."

"I think I took chunks out of your shoulders."

Romeo snorted. "You clenched so hard I thought you might take my cock from me, too."

"Sorry—"

"No," Romeo interrupted. "Don't. That was intense. You coming round like that, it was like watching you come back to life and … how you clung to me." He leaned back to look at Chad and cupped his jaw. "How you shivered and moaned against me." He tipped Chad's chin up to look at him, and checked his face for any sign of regret, but Chad just smiled, and thread his fingers through Romeo's hair to the back of his head. "It was amazing, Chad. Reckless, dangerous, bordering on suicidal, but amazing."

"I trust you."

"I know you do, but you're asking me to trust that part of myself with you and I don't know for certain I can." Romeo exhaled, "This … high we're getting addicted to won't be worth it if I hurt you."

Chad thought better than saying he knew Romeo wouldn't. He pushed their foreheads together instead.

"You scared me downstairs. I thought…"

"I know what you thought," Chad whispered. "You stupid man."

"I can't lose you."

"You're not going to."

"My Juliet." Romeo kissed the nickname into Chad's lips, and Chad whispered back, "my Romeo," before kissing him back even harder.