10. Scotlyn

TEN

Scotlyn

M y heart hurts. Last night's date with Brent didn't go as expected at all. I don't know what came over me. It's like all of my feelings just exploded all at once. I was in denial, pure and simple. I wanted to believe he was staying in town. Silly me let myself believe it was a possibility.

The ride home from my day job at Ward Enterprises goes by quickly and I arrive at my apartment in record time. I don't have to work at Society X tonight, but in a way, I wish I was so I can get my mind off Brent. After our failed date, I wonder if he'll even say goodbye before he goes back to Texas. I really want to see him again, but I don't want my heart to feel any more pain. I've never had such strong feelings for someone in such a short amount of time, but with Brent, it's different. We grew up together and he's still the same guy I cared about back then. A part of me believes he was my first love.

I walk up the three flights of stairs to my apartment and breathe a sigh of relief when I get inside.

"I think it's going to be a Ben and Jerry's night," I say as I set my purse down on the kitchen counter. But first, I have to get out of the turtleneck sweater I had no choice in wearing today.

I start toward my bedroom, but then a knock sounds on my door, thunderous and urgent.

"Scotlyn, it's me! Please, I have to talk to you!"

It's Brent.

My heart begins to race and the breath hitches in my lungs. He knocks again and I stop at the door, my hand resting on the knob. I want to open it but I can't.

"Scotlyn, I know you're in there. I pulled in and saw you walking up the stairs," Brent says, his voice tired.

Still, I don't open the door. I don't want to tell him goodbye and watch him walk away.

He knocks again, only this time it's very faint.

"Please, Scotlyn . . . I don't want things to end this way." A few seconds pass and I can hear his strangled sigh as he breathes out. "I'm falling in love with you."

The words are barely above a whisper but I hear them.

I open the door so fast it startles him, and he steps back. Our eyes instantly connect, and I can't seem to look away from him.

"What did you say?"

Brent slowly steps toward me and holds up his hands. I've never seen him look so defeated. He looks just as miserable as I feel.

I step back so Brent can come inside.

"I said I'm falling in love with you, Scotlyn," he repeats. He shuts the door and reaches for me, but I step back.

All of the pent-up sadness in my gut resurfaces. "Brent, why would you even say that? This will never work. My life is here and yours is in Texas." A tear slides down my cheek and I hastily wipe it away. Brent tries to reach out to me again, but I hold up a hand. "All you've done since coming to town is make me want things I can't have." More tears flow down my cheeks. "I need you to leave, Brent. The more I see you, the more it angers me. Now go."

Without even thinking, I turn on my heel and storm to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I rip off my turtleneck and throw it on the floor, revealing the Society X necklace around my neck and something else I was trying to hide.

I don't want Brent to hear me cry so I bite my lip and stare at myself in the mirror. My cheeks are flushed and my eyes are red. All I want is for the ache in my chest to go away.

I keep waiting to hear my apartment door open and shut but it doesn't come.

"Brent, leave!" I shout.

His voice is right by my bedroom door. "Not going to happen, Scotlyn. You see, I came here to tell you how I feel and I'm going to do that. I wanted to tell you last night, but you didn't give me a chance."

"What does it matter? You're leaving."

The door to my bedroom swings open and I cross my arms over my bare chest, quickly hiding the spot on my neck as Brent bursts in.

"What the hell are you doing?" I gasp in shock.

Brent's eyes widen for a moment but then he never takes his gaze from mine. "You know I'm not the kind of guy to do this, but I need you to hear me out." He marches over and clasps my arms in his gentle grasp. It feels so familiar, and it makes me ache to feel his hands on other parts of my body. "I'm in love with you, Scotlyn. Being around you makes me so goddamn nervous I can't think straight. I would've told you sooner, but I didn't think I was the kind of guy you wanted. I mean, look at me. I'm a fucking computer nerd and you're . . ." He rakes his possessive gaze down my body, and it makes me tremble. "You're just perfect."

Guilt consumes me and my voice shakes when I speak. "I'm not perfect," I say, dreading the next few moments. I'm about to ruin everything, especially when Brent sees the mark on my neck. It's a mark of pure passion and one that didn't come from him. He'll never understand the need I felt last night. I had to get him out of my mind. Did it work? Not at all.

Brent slides his hands up my arms and cups my cheeks. His lips are warm and sensual when they touch mine. I give in and open to him, letting him claim me.

"That kiss was perfect," Brent whispers, kissing me again. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me in tight. I don't want him to let me go but it doesn't change the fact that he's still going home soon.

"We can't do this," I say, trying to pull away only he doesn't let me. "Long distance will never work."

Brent nods and holds me closer. "I know. That's why I'm going to stay."

My mouth drops in shock. Did I hear him right?

"Stay? As in here in Portland?"

He nods again. "I don't want to wonder what could've been anymore. I've always wanted you, Scotlyn. There has never been a day when I haven't thought of you. And then, when I saw you here, I knew it was my second chance." He brushes his thumb over my lips. "I just didn't think you'd want to be with someone like me."

My eyes burn as the tears fall down my cheeks. "You're exactly what I want, Brent." The knots in my stomach twist and turn. "But I don't deserve you. Not after what I've done."

His brows furrow when I take his hands off my face.

"What are you talking about?"

I step back so he can see my body, especially the spot on my neck I was trying to hide.

"I did something, Brent. Something you're not going to be happy about."

He moves closer and touches the hickey on my neck. "What did you do?"

Before I can even answer, he places a finger on my lips, his eyes searching mine. Then he kisses me with an urgency I've never felt before. I melt in his arms, and he moans into my mouth. All I want is for him to take me here and now, but why would he want to? I had sex with another man last night.

I gasp and try to pull away. "What are you doing? Do you not see the mark on my neck? I was with another man last night."

Brent's chest rises and falls with his rapid breaths. The look in his eyes is one of outright raw passion. He glances down at my lips then at the mark on my neck. "I've tasted you before, Scotlyn. I know we kissed the other night when you dropped me off at my hotel and I feel like such an idiot for not recognizing it sooner. But that wasn't the first time."

It's like a spark goes off in my mind. What he says is true. His touch is familiar. His kiss is familiar.

"Did you go back to your hotel after our date last night?" I ask.

Brent's gaze never wavers from mine. "No. And I know you didn't, either." He touches the hickey on my neck again. "I was with someone last night. And I remember marking her in this exact same spot." His hands trail down my arms to my waist. "Even though I never saw you in the Dark Room, I'm smart enough to recognize the feel of your body."

"Oh my God." I close a hand over my mouth. "I was with you both times. I took your virginity."

Brent smiles. "And I'm so glad you did. I wish you knew how nervous I was and still am." He looks away and sighs. "I didn't join the club to go in there and have sex all the time. I was hoping it'd give me the courage to take things to the next level with you." He turns back to me. "I didn't want to let you down. I thought being more experienced would help me."

I cup his cheeks. "You never had to worry about that, Brent," I say, slowly stepping away from him. I slide off my skirt and underwear and unhook my bra, letting it fall to the floor. "I would've been more than happy to teach you."

Brent's eyes darken with need. "You still can. I have a lot to learn."

I climb up onto the bed. "Then what are you waiting for. It's time we do this in the light."

Watching Brent take off his clothes causes everything inside of me tighten. He comes over to the side of the bed and trails a finger down my neck and between my breasts. His hands are warm as he runs them down my legs to spread them, caressing my thighs.

He palms himself and my body tightens. I slide to the edge of the bed and grab onto his ass, pulling him in closer. My lips wrap around his tip, and I flick my tongue across.

His hands fist in my hair and a deep, guttural groan vibrates from his chest. "Holy fuck."

It spurs me on even more. "You like that?"

"More than you know. You're the only one to ever do it."

That turns me on even more. "Get used to it. We're going to do a lot more." I suck him harder, gliding my hand up and down his shaft. His breaths come out as pants, and I go faster.

A growl escapes his lips, and he pulls away. "I want you so damn bad right now."

Biting my lip, I pat the bed. "Then lie down."

He grips my arms and pulls me on top of him, before sliding his hands down to my ass. "I have no control when it comes to you."

"Oh, I don't know . . . I think you can handle it," I tease, playfully squeezing the bulging tip of his cock.

"Do you want me to put on a condom?" he asks, sucking in a breath when I squeeze him again.

When his eyes meet mine, I shake my head and smile. "I'm on the pill. I think we're good."

Jerking into my hand, he tilts my body down and roughly closes his lips over a nipple, sucking hard. The stubble on his chin rubs me raw. When he bites down, I cry out and rock my hips against his length.

His fingers dig into my hips as he lifts me up and slams me down. Once he's fully seated within me, he repeats his actions, lifting me up and pulling me down over him again and again. My movements aren't my own. I'm in his control and I love it.

"Are you sure you were a virgin?" I laugh.

He chuckles. "I'm learning."

Even with me on top, he dominates and takes what he wants, which is new for him. I really like it. Fisting his hands in my hair, Brent tilts my head back and bites my neck, marking me again.

"Oh, yes. Brent . . ."

His low rumble of satisfaction vibrates down to my core. I'm so close to orgasm, I can barely think straight. Over and over, he drops me down on his cock with punishing force. He licks and sucks my nipples, pulling them with his teeth.

Wrapping an arm around his neck, I arch my back to give him better access. Then reaching behind my ass, I cup his balls and massage them.

"Jesus, I'm going to come," he growls, shortening his thrusts. Grunting, he pulls my body into his and looks down to watch where we're connected.

Screaming with pleasure, I sit down on him as far as I can go. He groans and squeezes me tight, as I convulse with wave after wave of my release. It all intensifies when I feel him blast inside of me. I love the feel of his cock pulsating. Catching my breath, I let my head fall to his shoulder while his fingers loosen on my waist.

"Now that's what I'm talking about," I say, trying desperately to catch my breath. "I didn't teach you anything today. That was all you."

Brushing my hair to the side, he gently kisses my neck and wraps his arms around my waist. "Like I said, I'm learning. And we're not done yet, baby. That's one orgasm down. You still have a few more to go."

I pull his bottom lip between my teeth and moan. "I'm counting on it."