Chapter 10

Megan

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts! I don't want this! I don't want this!

Wracking sobs hitched in my chest and came out as garbled animal sounds. I was afraid of the pain. I was afraid of turning wolf. I was afraid of losing me, of turning into some creature I didn't understand and not being able to come back. I didn't know how to do this. I didn't want to do this! I just wanted to be me—human me!

"Meg, listen to my voice." Sam's voice was calm and steady. I tried to slow my frantic heartbeat and quell my panic, but the searing pain doubled me over. Hands covered in fur and paws where my feet should have been met my gaze, sending another wave of panic crashing over me. I was stuck half girl and half wolf! My mind stopped. Panic overtook me. There was nothing rational left in that moment as I thrashed on the ground, trying in vain to become one thing or the other. The creature inside me tried to take over, but my panic overrode everything else. A great fire tortured my body. Every single hair that poked through my skin was a razor cutting deep into my flesh. My bones were broken in several places as they were arrested, fused half human and half animal. My teeth were jagged, piercing my gums and a tongue that no longer fit into my mouth. Black dots danced in front of my eyes.

"Megan, you are all right. Don't fight this. Embrace the pain. I know it sounds crazy but lean into the pain, and it will be over sooner."

I screeched and wailed against the agony, but I tried to follow his instructions. Doing my best to set aside my terror, I took a heaving breath and let the pain ride up my legs and over my hips, the great fire burning hotter and hotter in my belly. I screamed, and a wolf's howl came out. My body lurched forward without me, and I crashed to the ground in a whimpering heap of matted fur and sweat.

Sam was saying something in a soothing tone. His voice was deep. It rose and fell like water over smooth stones.

Everything was in a fog. It took me a minute to orient myself, and right as I realized Sam was actually singing softly, not talking, I felt the telltale tingling pain in the base of my tail. My tail.

Gritting my teeth, I forced the rational part of my brain to the front and told myself I wasn't afraid of the pain and that I could do this. The flames engulfed me as I managed to keep my panic at bay. The shards of fur sliced their way back through my skin as my bones ground against each other and shattered into a thousand pieces to fit themselves back to their human shape.

Mercifully, the change back was quick but left me again, naked, in a teary, snotty, shivering ball at Sam's feet.

I'd never felt so vulnerable in all my life.

Sam covered me with his jacket again and then retrieved a large gray robe from the bag in his trunk. I shivered on the ground, sweaty, achy, exhausted beyond comprehension, but strangely alert.

"Here," he said and shook out the voluminous robe in front of me. He held it out for me to slip into as he turned his face away to give me some small measure of privacy.

"We have these specially made," he explained as I jerkily put my left arm into a billowy, though short, sleeve. "They are made so a person can shift to their wolf while wearing one of these. They're roomy enough to accommodate the change, but loose enough your wolf can wiggle out of it without opposable thumbs."

"Fabulous," I quipped, choking on the edge of hysteria creeping in. "I don't suppose they come in pink?" I asked dryly, surprising myself with my sarcasm.

Sam snorted, trying not to laugh, as surprised as I was at my retort.

"I'll check on that right away." A grin tipped the corner of his mouth as he steered me back to the still-running car. For a fleeting moment, he was just a good-looking, nice guy from school. Someone I'd always had a special fondness for but who had been somehow unattainable. Something inside me gravitated to that grin while I just as forcefully shut it down. If it weren't for the uncertainty of my newly acquired furry side, I'd be long gone from Sam Wolfe.

My teeth chattered as we finished the rest of the short drive to the cabin. It had been in sight as I shifted.

It was a simple but tasteful building in a small clearing surrounded by beautifully mature trees. It was bigger than I'd imagined, and in the moonlight it was charming. If only my circumstances were so lovely.

Sam shut off the car. "Are you feeling better or worse after your last shift?" His face was so sincere. The rational part of my brain knew that changing me hadn't been in his plans, but part of me still wanted to be angry and blame him.

Grandpa always said, "Anger makes a bitter brew if left to steep too long." Expelling a gust of air, I flexed my fingers. Wiggling my toes next, I was pleased my rusty joints moved with more control and less brittleness than they had before the last shift.

"Maybe a little better," I conceded. "But everything is still sore." I ached like I was bruised black and blue. Even moving my digits had been painful.

His eyebrows knit together. "I know. I can't tell you how sorry I am, Megan. But if your muscles are a little looser, that's a good thing. Let me grab my bag, and I'll come get your door.

My head settled against the headrest as I let out a long breath. I could be angry with Sam, use up whatever mental energy I had left, or I could put it aside and let him help me through the coming pain of the next phases.

A tear escaped as I briefly contemplated my future. Things had been so rosy this morning. Everything looked pretty bleak now, overshadowed by a giant wolf somehow coexisting within me.

The door opened, and Sam held out his hand. I closed my eyes for one second, took a deep breath, and whooshed out my anger with it. Most of it, at least.

A new chapter of my life had just been forced upon me.