Chapter 4

I wakeup on my birthday with a smile on my face. This is the one day of the year that I don’t need a phone call or an alarm blaring in my ear to get me out of bed, because it always starts the same chaotic w-

“It is the hour!” I hear the scream from outside my door, breaking my train of thought, moments before the handle is turned and the wood panel is forcibly thrown open.

The solid thunk of my dresser being hit and the rattle of everything I own threatening to fall onto the floor makes me wince as Beth and Camden burst into my room wearing Santa hats and full body Christmas pajamas. Beth’s petite frame hurtles across the floor, launching herself onto my bed and starfishing on top of me.

“Happy birthday!” she practically screams as she smothers me, her dark hair flying into my face.

“Beth!” I splutter, trying to free an arm to wave the offending tendrils away. “Get off, you’re gonna crush me!”

“Ex-cuse me?” she grinds her elbows into my sides as she rolls in place on top of me.

You’d think that between her fluffy pink onesie, two layers of blankets, and my t-shirt there would be some kind of defense against a teenage girl’s wrath… You would be wrong.

“Help!” I call, struggling harder to free my arms. “I’m being murdered on my birthday!”

Still in the doorway, Cam chuckles as he steps forward and slings Beth over his shoulder fireman style. She’s still flailing as I sit up with a grin, taking in his brown reindeer onesie. He raises an eyebrow, shifting his weight and resting one hand on his hip.

“Like what you see?” he jokes, letting Beth drop to the floor when she stops struggling.

“I love it so much,” I sit up, throwing the blankets off my lap. “Who am I this year?”

“What’s your favorite color?” Cam jokes, tossing me a bundle of yellow and green fleece.

A grin spreads across my face as I shake out the elf costume, standing quickly to tug it on over the shorts and t-shirt I wore to bed in preparation for this. When we were in middle school, Beth and I had a knockdown drag-out fight when planning my birthday party. I said it wasn’t fair that she always got to have a cozy wintery party for her birthday, while mine is in August. She argued that it wasn’t fair that I could have a pool party for my birthday and she couldn’t, just because her birthday is in January. Our parents, completely confused but never without a solution to our problems, decided to appease us. Every year since, my birthday is a cozy day of Christmas pajamas, feel-good movies, and fleece onesies. When Beth’s birthday rolls around we don Hawaiian shirts and eat snow cones, hosting dance parties and watching beachy musicals until bedtime.

Zipping the suit to my chin, I push up the sleeves and throw my hands to my sides with a huge smile.

“Ta-da!” I grin. “How do I look?”

“You look perfect!” Beth laughs, tugging me along by my wrist as she heads into the hallway. “Let’s go, it’s time for breakfast! Casey will be here soon!”

We stomp down the stairs, and as I come into view our parents shout birthday greetings our way. The smile hasn’t left my face, and it probably won’t for most of the afternoon. While our parents haven’t leaned fully into the onesie fun, they are dressed in comfortable clothes and Santa hats. Mr. Holt is wearing buffalo print pajama pants, so I give him bonus points despite the solid gray shirt he’s paired them with. Mom and Dad are in their standard pajama fare, and my smile widens when I see Mom’s picked a pair with hot pink accents to match the special pink Santa hat she wears every year.

“Happy birthday, baby,” she hugs me tight, kissing my forehead as I hug her back.

“Thanks, Mom,” I worm my way free as soon as I know it won’t hurt her feelings, crossing behind the island to give my Dad and Cam’s each a one-armed hug. “What’s for breakfast?”

“We’ve got eggs, bacon, and some fruit,” she gestures to plates as she names them, and my eyes dart around trying to find the real prize. “Some juice and milk over there, and the hot cocoa is still warming up. I could make some toast if anyone wants some?”

“Okay, yeah, that’s great, thanks Mom,” I stand on my tiptoes, tilting my chin up to try and see behind her. “Anything else you got, back there?”

“Elliott Michael,” Dad chuckles. “Can you not even wait for your girlfriend to get here before you start sniffing around for the cake?”

“What?” I throw a hand to my chest. “Looking for the cake? Never even occurred to me. I was just making sure everyone knew their options. But, you know, now that you mention it,” I try to adopt a look of innocence, pouting my lip at my merciless mother who simply rolls her eyes and hands me a plate.

“Grab your protein,” she looks pointedly at the kitchen island. “There’s plenty of sugar to go around.”

We all laugh as we take plates and load them up, standing around the kitchen island to start on what is possibly the only healthy food I will consume today. When the doorbell rings I jump to my feet, grinning as I rush to the front door and open it to find Casey standing in a gingerbread man onesie. She poses, hands on her hips, and I laugh as I pull her in for a hug.

“You look so cute,” I squeeze, letting go to tug her along behind me as I hurry back into the kitchen. “Hey guys, look who’s here! It’s Casey! I guess the gang’s all here now,” I add. “So we can really get started.”

“Are you excited to see me,” Casey laughs, crossing her arms over her chest. “Or did your mom hide the cake again?”

“Can’t it be both?” I shrug, winking at her dramatic eye roll. She knows I’m joking.

Mostly.

Despite my pushing, Mom does actually make us finish the rest of our breakfast before she opens the oven and pulls out the real prize; my birthday cake, made of freshly baked cinnamon rolls and slathered in homemade cream cheese icing. Drool pools at the corners of my mouth and I rub my hands together as I watch her stick candles all around. When they’re lit everyone takes a half-step back to sing me the birthday song. As the last note rings out I close my eyes and take a slow breath.

I wish for this year to be straight out of the movies.

I slowly exhale and then jump, startled out of my wishful state when everyone starts cheering and clapping. I smile wide as mom portions out generous servings of cake, and we all pile onto the couch as the adults distribute coffee and cocoa and dad starts our lineup of Christmas movies. Mom’s brought just about every blanket in the house in here and turned down the air conditioning in the house, so we’re all snuggled up in blankets. We pull the hoods of our onesies over our heads, wiggle back into the couch cushions, and I sigh happily.

On my right, Casey curls her feet up onto the couch and rests her head on my shoulder. I smile, tilting my head to rest on top of hers. Our breathing syncs up as we lie there, sipping hot cocoa and laughing at the simple comfort of Arnold Schwarzenegger fighting a warehouse full of mall Santas. Cam sits to my left, and halfway through the first movie when he stretches his arms out and they accidentally brush against my shoulders, I find myself wishing he would pull closer… There are worse things than being an Elliot sandwich by my two closest friends.

We might be getting older, but this is one tradition I’m not willing to let go of. I was a little worried Casey wouldn’t want to come this year, since things have been feeling a little off lately… But having her here with us, I’m so glad she did. She’s not my girlfriend, she’s my best friend. Okay, so she’s my girlfriend too, but she’s my friend first.

Honestly, sometimes I think I like her better as a friend than as my g-

Nope. Nope, we’re not going there today. Not on my birthday.

I settle into a comfortable position again, jostling Casey slightly as I readjust, and sigh happily when I sit pressed between Casey’s petite frame and Camden’s warm arm. Beth and Casey hold hands on her other side, laughing and curling into each other when their favorite jokes come up, and we make our way through our standard list of comfort movies.

Buddy’s just made his way back to the North Pole when Casey hops to her feet, leaving me frowning and reaching for her as my position is disrupted. She laughs, evading my grabbing hands, and crosses to the front door out of sight. When she returns she’s carrying a pink bag stuffed so full it’s testing the limits of the zipper keeping the top closed.

“What’s all that for?” I ask, brow furrowed. “Is that where you keep your secrets?”

“I’m staying the night,” she laughs. “Do you think we live in a chick flick or something?”

“You’re staying the night?” I repeat, looking blankly at the bag in her hands. I feel a flush creep up the back of my neck.

“With me, pervert,” Beth rolls her eyes. “Obviously.”

“Oh, right,” I scrub the back of my neck with one hand. “Obviously, yeah. That’s good. I mean, uh, that’s a good point that you’re her friend too.”

She blinks at me, but before she can open her mouth Cam slings his arm around my shoulders.

“I’m stealing you for the night,” he grins. “Top secret, no spoilers. I know I’m not as pretty as Casey, but I hope I’m a good substitute.”

“Aw, Camden!” Beth giggles, folding her arms. “Don’t sell yourself short. You’re very pretty!”

“Right,” he snorts a laugh. “Anyway, we’re out. You ready, El?”

“Yeah, let’s go!”

I shoot off the couch, followed closely by my best friend as we race each other to the other side. Cam meets his dad at the front door, and I practically bounce on my feet as I lean over the back of the couch, kissing Casey and Beth on their cheeks before I cross to my mom and do the same.

“Bye Case, Bethie,” I wave on my way to the door. “I’ll see y’all in the morning!”

Mr. Holt is still talking to Cam, arms crossed and chin tilted down. Cam is blushing and digging his toe into the ground, smiling and trying to disarm his dad as I approach.

“Alright then, boys,” Mr. Holt smiles. “Be careful. I’ll see you in the morning… Happy Birthday, Elliot.”

“Thanks Mr. Holt.” I beam at him as we pass, then hurry across the porch and lawn to jump into Glory’s cab.

I try to be patient as he pulls away from the curb, wiggling in my seat to refrain from pestering him, until the suspense begins to kill me.

“So, he’ll see us in the morning?”

“Yep.” Cam answers, steering smoothly towards Main Street.

“So, does that mean we’re staying out all night?”

“Yep.”

I grin, watching out the window as he passes brightly lit buildings. When he turns off of Main Street and onto Oak, I turn to face him.

“We’re getting dinner first, right?” he smiles out the windshield but doesn’t reply. “Where are we going? Pizza? Burgers? No, burgers are on Main,” I frown. “If we don’t eat I’m gonna get hungry, Cam.”

“Elliot,” he laughs. “Would you be patient for just a minute? I’m getting you dinner.”

“Where from?” I grin.

“Where else?”

He turns onto a side street, entering the parking lot of Jade Palace. I can’t contain the gasp and squeal at the thought of eating my favorite food on my birthday, and Cam chuckles as he engages the parking brake. Practically bouncing in my seat, I reach for my buckle but stop with a frown when Cam holds his hand out.

“Just wait,” he shakes his head. “We’re getting takeout.”

“Takeout?” I frown once more. “Taking it where?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he laughs. “I’ll be right back.”

Before I can say another word he is out of the truck, slamming the door in my face. I sit back in my seat, crossing my arms over my chest. My foot taps on the floorboard as I wait for him to come back, and I sit up a little straighter as he finally approaches. Cam opens the door with one hand and slides behind the wheel, setting the brown paper sack between us. The warmth of the bag seeps out and reaches my leg, and fragrant spices fill the air as he buckles and shifts back into gear.

“Where are we going now?”

“Jesus,” he laughs. “Would you eat an egg roll and calm down? It’s called a surprise, Graves. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.”

“Are you taking me somewhere to murder me?”

“Yes.” He replies, straight faced, and I grin as I stuff the egg roll into my mouth to take a bite.

I moan as the wrapper crunches, and he shakes his head in the driver’s seat even as a smile tilts the corner of his mouth up. He reaches into his pocket, coming out with a small box wrapped in green foil paper.

“Here,” he says as he hands it to me. “I made this for you.”

“What?” I grin. “What is it?”

“Open it and find out,” he laughs.

I carefully unwrap the paper, sticking my tongue out the side of my mouth in exaggerated concentration as I slip my slender fingers under the tape to pry it loose without crinkling the pretty wrapping paper. Inside is a cardboard box, and whatever’s inside bumps into the sides with a hollow thunk as I tilt the box to access the ends. I’m grinning by the time I spill a plastic cassette tape into my open palm, twisting it to see the label on the side.

“Birthday Mix 2,” I read aloud. “You old man,” I grin over at him. “Are you gonna make me one of these every year?”

“It seemed fitting,” he shrugs, his casual gesture at odds with the proud smile on his face as he stares at the road ahead of us. “Wanna pop it in the player?”

“Sure,” I fiddle with the stereo, pushing the cartridge in and turning the dials up slightly. “So,” I say as the first song begins to play. “Last year the playlist was long enough for us to travel to the Drive-In,” I grin, fully engaged in sleuth mode. “How long is this one? Will it tell me where you’re taking me?”

“No,” Cam laughs, and a surge of pride fills my chest knowing I’ve caught him off guard. “You crazy boy. There are no clues to our mission in this tape.”

“Hm,” I lean back against my seat, closing my eyes and listening to the strumming of an acoustic guitar. “We’ll see.”

Gravel crunches beneath the tires as we turn off the highway onto the county road. Cam offers no explanation as he steers, humming along to the radio, wrist resting against the wheel casually. I feel a tensing in my stomach as I watch him from the corner of my eye, taking in the glow of the setting sun where it casts a shadow over his firm cheekbones. I swallow hard, glancing out my own window and watching the fields of cows pass by.

We’ve been driving down the gravel road for a while when he begins to slow, engaging his turn signal. Sitting up in my seat to try for a better look, I glance around the tree-lined road in a last-ditch attempt to figure out where he’s taken me. The dirt road is unfamiliar, but Cam turns onto it with practiced ease. He slows to a stop a short ways down, still in view of the road, in front of a metal gate. It’s mostly green, with patches of rust betraying the patterns of years of use. Engaging the parking brake, he unbuckles and swings the door open, stepping smoothly to the ground.

“Camden,” I lean over to call after him. “Are we trespassing?”

“Not yet,” he throws easily over his shoulder, reaching for the chain keeping the gate closed.

I frown, watching as he unlatches it and winds it back through one of the gaps in the gate before letting it clang to the ground and walking the gate forward into the pasture. He returns to the cab of the truck with a grin, pulling through the gate with no further explanation. My arms cross over my chest, and he has the audacity to wink on his way back out to close the gate.

Curiosity takes hold, and I peer out of the truck window to see open land in every direction. Yellow grass sways, at least knee high in most places, little stalks blowing in the breeze covering the ground and keeping the dirt from taking flight. Thickets of trees branch away from those lining the front fence line, and it’s amazing how private this all feels. Peaceful. I know Cam wouldn’t really take me anywhere dangerous, and I have to wonder where it is we actually are. I startle slightly when he gets back in the truck.

“What do you think?” he asks lightly, rolling slowly down a trail left from previous use.

“It’s really nice out here,” I look ahead. “Peaceful.” I raise an eyebrow as I swivel to face him. “What is this place?”

“It was my grandpa’s,” he explains, relaxing further into the seat. “He used to run cows out here.”

“A cowboy?” I gasp, grinning broadly.

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “A real one, I guess. We don’t really keep animals out here anymore, but Dad rents it out for quail hunts in the fall and winter. They’re not in season yet, so it’s all ours…For tonight, at least.”

“We’re staying here?” I practically bounce in my seat.

“I mean, yeah,” he grins. “You did ask for a cowboy campout, right?”

“If you’re trying to seduce me,” I grin, pulling out another eggroll. “You’re doing a fantastic job.”

Cam laughs, shaking his head as he follows the path around a bend until we come upon an open field. He pulls Glory around, shifting the parking brake into place and holding a hand out when I start to get out of the cab.

“Not yet,” he insists. “Just a minute.”

I roll my eyes but comply, leaning my head back against the window as he bumps around in the truck bed behind me. His movements rock the truck, and a slow easy smile spreads across my face. He’s going to so much effort, to bring me a moment I mentioned just in passing. I have the best friend, ever. When he’s finally satisfied he pokes his head in the cab, cheeks flushed and hair untidy with eyes sparkling like diamonds.

“Okay,” he slides the back window open, letting the music drift through to the truck bed, and grabs the bag of food. “It’s ready, now.”

Eager swipes of my hands free me from the seatbelt, and I hurry out of the truck around to the back. The tarp is off, revealing the blankets and pillows Cam has piled and arranged in the metal bed of the truck. My grin grows impossibly wider as I scramble up, wiggling into a nest of pillows at the front, rocking with the shocks as he crawls up next to me.

We dig into our dinner, chatting about nothing and everything as the sun sets further behind us. By the time the crickets chirp their night song around us, Cam is leaning back against the rail with his empty takeout containers resting next to him, smiling as he listens to me wrap up a rant about the injustice of being expected to plan every date with Casey just because I’m the guy in our relationship.

“Like, if I don’t want to plan the date I’m the bad guy. But the date was her idea in the first place! And God forbid I point that out,” I sigh, popping half of my fortune cookie into my mouth. “It’s kind of bullshit.” I finish around a mouthful of crumbs.

“Well,” Cam shrugs, breaking his cookie into a bunch of small pieces and popping one into his mouth before he reaches for the slip of paper inside. “I’d guess she probably thinks you want to go on dates as much as she does. Do you ever just tell her you don’t want to go?”

“God, no,” I snort, eating the other half of my cookie as I look at my own fortune. “I’m not stupid.” I look up at the blonde next to me. “What’s yours say?”

“You will soon begin a thrilling adventure,” he reads carefully, tucking it into his pocket. “Yours?”

“Stop searching forever, happiness is next to you.”

I turn to look at him, holding up the tag for proof. He blinks slowly, and I grin even as I feel a tightening in my chest. Nervous laughter bubbles up in me, leaking out until we’re both leaning back onto the truck for support.

“Well, there you go,” I wipe my eye. “The universe has spoken. You’re it for me, Holt,” he blushes when I say that, and my eyes can focus on nothing else as I reach past him to put it into the bag to throw away.

“Yeah, well,” he stops me with a hand to the wrist, taking the paper and slipping it into his pocket to join his own. “Let’s keep them. You know, like a birthday memory.”

“Sure,” I agree, clearing my throat and beginning to gather my trash. “That’ll be good.”

We begin to gather the garbage and stuff it into the bag as a cool night breeze drifts through the air. When it’s all contained Cam pushes it through the open window into the cab of the truck, a problem for tomorrow. Tonight, it’s just us out under the stars. The last of the sun’s light has long faded, but our eyes have adjusted to the moon and I see Cam’s teeth shine as we settle onto our backs.

He’s lying to my left, breathing slowly as he takes in the beauty of the night sky. The quilt under my fingers is soft, with strings sewn into the corners of each hex, and I twirl one idly in my fingers as I will my mind to go blank… With varying degrees of success. Even if my mind isn’t empty though, I do feel a sense of calm fill me as we lie there staring at only the stars in the night sky.

“It feels so vast here,” I gesture into the air and sigh happily. “Like we’re out on the open range…”

“Sure,” Cam laughs easily, bringing his right arm to rest behind his head. “Do you remember last year, when we went to the drive-in movies for your birthday?”

“Yeah,” I grin. “That was great.”

We stare up at the stars, and I swear I can feel the world shifting. I don’t know what any of them mean, but when I think about all the people who have looked at these stars… It feels like magic.

“This is better.” I whisper.

Cam makes a soft voice at the back of his throat, like if we are too loud we might break this spell.

A voice in the back of my mind wonders idly what it would be like if I stretched out my fingers, touched his where they lie so close to mine on the blanket…

What? No. No, that would be weird.

My eyes dart to Cam, and I see that his are focused firmly on the stars. As I watch he pulls his left hand up, resting it on his abdomen, and a flush rises up my neck as I snap my gaze back skyward as well.

Does he somehow know what I’m thinking? So embarrassing…

“This is perfect.” His voice slips through the air, so soft I almost think I might have imagined it until his toe tilts to tap mine.

He leaves it there, the mesh fabric of his sneaker kissing the canvas of mine just below the felt edge of my pajamas, and I slowly return the pressure. I shift my pose to mirror his, exhaling slowly as I get lost in the stars above. Lying there, soaking in the quiet music drifting through the back window and peaceful night sky with my best friend, I have to agree… This is perfect.