Chapter 1

The incessant ringingof the alarm clock drags me from the depths of sleep. I growl as I swat at the bedside table, hoping to make contact and stop the loud chime. Instead, I hit the edge of my phone, sending it crashing to the ground. Muttering curses under my breath, I roll over and extend one long arm to fish blindly under the bed, grabbing the rectangle and successfully turning off the alarm before setting it on the pillow next to me as my eyes drift closed again. The first chords of a Big Wreck song pour from the device as it lights up bright white, eliciting another round of curses as I try to cover my eyes. The most recent gift from my music-loving best friend, one in a long line of ringtones stealthily assigned when he gets his grubby hands on my cell phone.

I’m going to kill him…

“What?” I growl into the phone after answering.

“Good morning Elliot,” Camden replies cheerfully.

“Is it even morning?” I complain.

“Technically.” I can practically hear his answering shrug. “I’m going to be at your house in ten minutes, and you’re going to practice in whatever you’re wearing when I get there. So I’d change out of your Spiderman pants if I was you.”

“I’m not eight. I don’t sleep in Spiderman pants,” I mutter, glancing down at the red and blue pajamas that cover my legs. Liar…

“Liar,” Camden scoffs. “Ten minutes.”

The line goes silent and I groan before rolling out of bed and to my feet. Camden Holt has been my best friend since we were six, and he does not make threats he won’t follow through on. Early morning football practice is the last thing I want to be doing right now, but the only way to beat the Texas heat is to rise before the sun does. And apparently, Cam is going to hold me to that.

Pajamas fly into a corner before I pull on mesh shorts and joggers on top, then drag myself into the bathroom to wash my face with cold water. I stare into the mirror, trying to tousle my brown curls into some sort of order. Finally satisfied, I tug a hoodie over a t-shirt and make my way downstairs to the kitchen. I cautiously drop four frozen waffles in the toaster, trying not to wake my sleeping family members as I put together a quick breakfast. The waffles pop from the top and I grab them with the tips of my fingers, hissing as I toss the hot disks onto a paper towel and smear peanut butter on one side. A low rumble sounds from outside the house as a vehicle approaches, and I stack them into two sandwiches before hurrying out the door.

Camden waits in his truck, tapping a beat on the steering wheel as he watches the door. The Chevy had probably been red for most of its life, if the interior was any indicator. But when Cam and his dad won it at an auction lot, it was peeled and rusted, needing a good sanding and a new coat of paint, and Camden had put his own stamp on it in the form of a deep blue body and a thick white stripe running down the sides. The result was a red, white, and blue beauty he refers to as Glory. He hand-washes her at least once a week, and I’m pretty sure I’ve caught him speaking to the truck on more than one occasion.

“That wasn’t ten minutes,” I huff as I slide onto the bench seat and pass over one handful of waffle.

“I’m impressed,” Camden grins, nodding in thanks as he shifts the truck into gear. “I didn’t even have to call twice.”

“It’s way too early,” I groan before taking a bite of breakfast. “I didn’t have to do this last year,” I complain through a mouthful of peanut butter.

“You weren’t on varsity last year,” he snorts. “That’s what happens when you get better. You have to work a little harder.”

“Now you tell me,” I whine with a grin.

Cam shakes his head and takes a bite as he drives off. Country hits play on the radio as our little town flashes by, little points of light breaking up the darkness of homes until we make it to Main Street on our way to the high school. For all that I joke with my friend about summer training, I feel the tight clench of anxiety in my stomach as we drive to the field. Not that I’d tell anybody, but the thought of playing on the varsity team this year scares the crap out of me.

Texas varsity football was made for corn-fed boys like Camden, stocky and sturdy enough to take any hit. Not tall, but skinny boys like me. While I’m arguably strong, fast, can catch any ball thrown my way, and outrun any of my teammates without a problem, there was a reason I’ve been content to sit on JV the past two years. Some of these kids are huge, and I am having a hard time shaking the feeling that I don”t belong here.

I can still picture the surprised look on my face when the team roster was posted on the locker room door. Cam had shouted excitedly, clapping me on the back and celebrating as my life flashed before my eyes. I wasn’t so sure I’d survive past the first real game.

When Jake Hughes graduated in the spring, it hadn’t really occurred to me that I might get pulled up to varsity. I guess it should have— I knew Coach had been keeping an eye on me all year, but there was that voice in my head that knew I wasn’t good enough to make football anything more than a hobby. A constructive energy release. But that ends now. I’ve got to take the game more seriously, practice hard with Camden and at practice. Because if I’m going to be on this team with my best friend, I’m going to start with him too. No matter what it takes.

I shake my head as if that might clear the thoughts away as we lumber into a parking space at the high school. It’s a strange feeling to be the only ones on campus. Usually the back parking lot is a hive of activity, even on the earliest of mornings, as Ag students pull in to check on their animals and students on teams arrive for morning practice. Teachers drag in, coffee cups in hand, and buses circle the lot dodging the occasional student who is trying to cram a little extra studying in since they didn’t do it the night before. But during the summer, it’s like a ghost town.

We park at the top of the hill near the athletic building, finishing our breakfast and taking a swig of water to clear our throats of sticky peanut butter before grabbing the bags and stepping out of the truck. As I pass my new teammates, I smile and raise a hand in greeting. I might not have played with them last year, but I’ve known most of these guys for years and get along with them all pretty well. Camden has been on varsity since freshman year when he’d been the alternate for the left guard, and I have tagged along to most everything with him.

I shoulder my way into the workout room and take a deep breath as I look around. There are guys leaning against the walls, catching up with friends they haven’t seen since the end of the semester. Others are stretching or lifting weights, and a few lay on their rolled-up sweatshirts with earbuds in, trying to relax or catch a few more minutes of sleep before practice. I follow Camden to the back wall, where a door leads to a locker room. Following his lead, I drop my bag onto the bench in an open spot. I shimmy out of my sweatpants, staring at my shoes.

“You okay?” Camden asks, a hint of concern in his voice.

“Yeah,” I look up and smile quickly. “Just feeling a little nervous.”

“I get that,” he nods. “I think you’ll feel better once you get going.”

He claps me on the shoulder, dragging it off as he sets off for the weight room. I square my shoulders and follow, determined to make this a great first practice. We don’t have to wait long for the coaches to emerge from the office and get us started.

“Good morning, ladies,” Coach Baxter grins. “I hope you enjoyed your vacation. Let’s get this party started with some laps. Four around the field, let’s go!”

We take off as a pack, running the short hill to the practice field and then starting around the white lines. I feel the tension leave my shoulders as I run, closing my eyes for a moment. The sun is just beginning to rise, casting an orange glow against the hill as we round the goalposts. I find freedom in the motions, a sense of peace and clarity that I struggle to find anywhere else. I exhale hard before rounding the corner, my teammates fading from my periphery as I give myself completely to the running. Some part of me registers that I’m on the fourth lap, slowing my pace to ease myself back to a walk before making my way to the center of the field where the coaches wait.

“Pick it up, boys!” Coach Smith cups his hands around his bearded mouth to carry his voice further. “Graves left you in the dust!”

The stocky coach winks at me, and I flush with a mix of pride and exertion as I begin to stretch. I don’t want to make a scene and stand out from the crowd too much on my first day, but I can’t help but feel the satisfaction of the coaches recognizing my efforts. One by one my teammates join me, some calmly stretching and catching their breath while others bend over or roll to the ground after the run.

I keep myself in that neutral headspace through practice. Trying not to worry about how the boys around me compare to my own performance, I focus on the drills we run. By the time the heat of the day calls an end to practice, I am breathing heavily and leaning against the doorframe for support.

“Good work today, boys,” Mike Samson, senior quarterback and our captain, claps my shoulder as he passes me and crosses to his locker. “Weight room opens back up at 5 pm every day this week. I want to see everyone here this first week. Push through that pain, or your performance will suffer.”

Assorted groans go up throughout the room, but no one argues as we shower and change into fresh clothes. I shade my eyes from the sun with a flat hand as I step outside of the athletic complex. Beside me, Camden chuckles and nudges the back of my knee with his foot.

“Keep moving, cowboy,” he clicks his tongue, grinning when I cast him a look over my shoulder. “I want to get lunch!”

“I feel like I’m going to throw up,” I moan.

“Jenson did,” he gestures to the side of the field.

“Ugh,” I wince. “Dude…”

A sound of protest escapes me as I pull myself into Glory, thanking God that Cam had the foresight to park so close. He watches me from the corner of his eye, a smile tugging at his lips, as he pulls his phone out of his bag. Humming along to the radio and swiping across the screen with his thumb, I would never guess he’d just had the same workout I did.

“How are you not in pain?” I demand, glancing from his chest down to his calves, then back up to his arms and hands where they grip the wheel. Blinking, I clear my throat and shift my bag where it rests at my feet.

“I do hurt, it’s just not that bad.” I can almost hear him roll his eyes. “Casey texted,” he raises an eyebrow. “Said she asked about catching up at lunch days ago but never heard back? She wants to know if we’re done with practice…”

“Oh,” I rub the back of my neck absently. “Shit, I guess time got away from me…”

“So, I should tell her we are out of practice?”

“Yeah,” I glance at him, confusion plain on my face. “Why wouldn’t you tell her that?”

“I don’t know, is everything okay with you guys?”

“Yes!” I blush now, a slight frown on my face. “We can go to lunch, I just forgot.”

“You forgot?”

“Yeah!”

“To text your girlfriend back? About seeing her?”

“What?”

“For multiple days?”

“I’ve been busy,” I mumble.

Camden watches my face in silence, his expression giving nothing away. He finally turns back to his screen, types out a reply, and buckles his seatbelt before taking the wheel. The quiet feels unusually awkward as I wait to see if Cam has anything else to ask and he waits to see if I have anything else to offer up. By the time we reach the street, he seems to let it go.

“I told her we’d see her at Jade Palace,” he names my favorite restaurant.

“You do love me,” I grin winningly, and he shakes his head but smiles. I am forgiven, and let off the hook… For now.

“Yeah,” he agrees dryly. “I do. Did camp start today?”

“Cam,” I raise an eyebrow. “Were you not there with us?”

“Cheer camp,” he frowns slightly and glances at me as he drives. “For Casey? And Beth?”

“Oh… right.” I tug at my ear. “I don’t think so? Casey and I were talking about it, but I don’t think it will start until, like, next week.”

“Cool,” he reaches over to turn up the music as we make our way through town.

We sing along, loudly and poorly, until we get to the restaurant. I grin as we park next to Casey’s familiar red Jeep. My name is called across the lobby as we walk through the door, and we see her sitting next to my little sister Beth at a table waving excitedly.

“Hey, Case!” I lean down to hug her tightly then deliver a swift and light peck on the lips. She seems to be seeking more as I pull away and sit across from her, but she knows I’m not big on PDA and just smiles instead.

Casey is the other part of our friend group. She moved here in the third grade, and instantly fit right in with me and Camden. Freshman year she was upset that no one had asked her to homecoming, and I showed up at her door with a mum and a smile. She told her teammates she was dating the junior varsity running back, and we’ve been together ever since. Being on the cheerleading squad means that our schedules often lined up, which works out nicely. I always hear guys on the team complaining that their girlfriends don’t like how much they have to practice, and that isn’t something I have to deal with. We work so well together, things are just easy. They make sense.

“Hey, baby!” Casey beams, pulling Cam into a hug before he sits down next to me. “Hey, Cam!”

“Ladies,” he half grins as he reaches across the table to mess with Beth’s hair. “What’s up Bethie?”

“Camden!” She shouts, batting at his hand with an exaggerated frown. “Get your nasty helmet hands off my hair!”

We all laugh at the affronted look on his face as he complies. The waitress, a young woman whose name tag reads ‘Mandy’, walks up with a smile. A black pocket apron is tied around her waist, breaking up her blue jeans from her white button up blouse. Her red hair is pulled up into a messy bun, and she reaches up to pull a pen out of the knot and taps her pad with it.

“Y’all ready to order?”

“Yes ma’am,” Cam smiles up at her. “Pork fried rice for me, please, and a sweet tea.”

“I’d love the black pepper chicken and a water, please,” I add next.

“You’ve got it.” She smiles and turns to the girls. “How about you guys?”

“Pad Thai,” Casey tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “And a Coke. Thanks!”

“Sweet and sour chicken please, and an eggroll, with a water, please.”

“Yeah, thank God you’re being healthy with that water,” I mutter under my breath, hissing in pain as my sister kicks me in the shins. “Ouch! Hey!”

“Be right back with those drinks,” the waitress tries to hide a smile as she turns her back to us.

“So, what are y’all up to today?” Cam asks easily as Mandy walks away.

“Well, we’re finished at the high school for the day, but Beth and I thought we might catch a movie or something… trying to stay out of this heat.”

“Did camp start today?”

“Not until next week,” Beth corrects, facing Cam and missing the victorious look I send his way. See? I know stuff. “We had uniform fittings this morning though.”

“How about you guys,” Casey brushes her foot against my calf under the table. “How was practice?”

“It kicked my ass,” I answer honestly, and grins erupt all around the table.

The waitress returns with our drinks, quickly dishing them out and depositing a pile of straws and paper covered chopsticks in the middle of the table, and I smile in gratitude.

“Worse than JV?” Beth takes a sip of her water. “Because you kind of thought you were going to die at JV camp, too.”

Just two years younger than us, Beth had been dragged along with me to every sports clinic and game along the way. She picked up a love for cheerleading that paired well with her natural athleticism, and none of us were shocked when she made the varsity cheer squad this year as a freshman.

“I don’t know if I’d say worse,” I bob my straw up and down through my ice cubes. “I mean, we had to work hard for JV camp, too. But it is a little different. More intense. I feel like there are higher expectations… We’re supposed to be back later for ‘voluntary’ weight practice.” I make the air quotes with my fingers, and Cam grins.

“That’s good, though!” Casey grins and waggles her eyebrows. “Maybe you’ll work on a super sexy six pack…”

“Yeah,” I feel the flush from my toes to my nose. I look towards the kitchen door as Mandy appears with the first of our plates. “Maybe so…”

Camden swoops in like my guardian angel, asking Casey a question that distracts her and changes the subject. Beth watches me carefully as the plates clink onto the table, and I shoot her a quick smile as I push a pair of chopsticks closer her way. She breaks them apart, eyes still on me, but doesn’t say anything as Mandy brings us the rest of our food and leaves us to eat.

I pinch the first bite with my chopsticks and finagle the entire piece into my mouth, moaning around it as the flavor hits my taste buds. Cam ducks his head down, shaking it slightly and smiling as he takes his fork to his plate. Casey’s nose wrinkles as she looks at me, and she rolls her eyes as she gets a bite twirled around her fork.

It’s mostly quiet as we finish our lunch, which is as delicious as always. Mandy swings by one more time with a pitcher of water and our bill in a shiny black book. She sets it on the table and refills the glasses on the tables around ours. I open my mouth to start the conversation again when Casey glances at her phone and bites her lip.

“Beth, if we want to catch that matinee we better jet… thanks for lunch, you guys!”

“Any time,” I wave away Cam’s hand reaching for his wallet, sliding my card into the folded receipt book and handing it back to the waitress with a smile. “I’ll see y’all later?”

“Sure, bye babe!” she grins and comes over for a kiss, while Beth rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

“Bye, Case… see you at home, Beth.”

“Bye, losers,” she flashes a peace sign, laughing and ducking away from my arm as I try to swat at her. “Love you!”

Cam watches them leave as Mandy returns with a wink and my card. I sign the slip and leave the book on the table then I stretch, leaning back over the booth before we stand to leave.

“Wanna come over to my place?” He asks as we head out to the truck. “We can stay cool until it’s time for weight training?”

“Ugh,” I groan in protest. “You’re really going to drag me back today, aren’t you?”

“Yup.” He grins, the sadist...

I frown and stick my tongue out at him before turning up the radio and nodding along for the short drive from Main Street to our neighborhood. Cam doesn’t stop smiling as he navigates the streets and parks in his usual place in the driveway. When we walk in the front door of the house and I look around, I notice we seem to be alone. I”ve been in this house so often, I know it as well as my own. I cross into the kitchen and grab us both a cold sports drink as Camden locks the door behind us.

Upstairs in his room, Cam keeps his door cracked open like always. His dad is pretty cool about a lot of things, but that’s one rule he put into place when we were likely to set something on fire or jump out a window to see what would happen, and it sort of stuck. I move the glasses he wears at night in their protective case and set my bottle on the bedside table. He hates the way he looks in his glasses, but I know it’s just because he looks softer with them on… he’d rather keep his sort of rugged tough look in public.

“I got a new album.” He sorts through a bin of vinyl records in the corner before holding it up for me to see. “Want to listen to it?”

“Yes!” I answer without hesitation, and he grins in response as he loads it onto the player.

Cam is fully on board with the resurgence of vinyl. We don’t have any dedicated record shops in our town, but there are several within driving distance and he gets some online. Occasionally one of the antique shops in town gets a box, and we’re there as soon as he hears about it to comb through the selection.

I lean against the pillows at the head of his bed, while Cam lounges at the foot with his hands behind his neck as he watches me.

“So,” he asks, “anything we need to cross off your summer bucket list before school starts?”

“Eh, not really,” I smile.

“Are you sure?” Cam raises an eyebrow. “Not even a little urge to make yourself, I don’t know, more mobile?”

“Camden,” I roll my eyes. “You are not subtle.”

“What?”

“I don’t need you to teach me to drive.”

“See, and I know that,” he grins. “But it would be fun.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” he leans his head back, closing his eyes to listen to the music. “Maybe you could chauffeur me around for once.”

“Hm,” I wrinkle my nose. “I wouldn’t bet on it.”

“Why don’t you want to learn?” Cam asks, curiosity coloring his tone.

“It isn’t that I don’t want to,” I reach a hand up and rub the back of my neck. “I just don’t see the point, I guess. You or Casey take me anywhere I want to go.”

“So, your primary reason is laziness and complacent friends?”

“Hm,” I pause, thinking before I answer. “Yeah, I guess so.”

A beat of silence passes, and then we both burst into laughter.

“Wow,” he shakes his head. “That’s bad, even for you. I don’t know, I think you should know more than just the basics. In case of emergency. Ya know, I do have a life, I might not always be around to take you.”

“Let’s see if I survive this week, first.”

“So,” Cam opens an eye. “If you survive this week, can I teach you?”

“Fine!” I laugh. “Sure, whatever. If I can still move after this week, you can teach me how to handle your stick.”

We both laugh at that, spreading out on the bed to relax before we have to leave for the school.