7. Maggie

The first time I ever picked up a camera, I was twelve. My mother had given it to me as a birthday present. She was the first person to notice my eye for photography. I had this obsession with postcards and the way they captured a place perfectly, making it look almost like a fantasy. I pinned them all over my room, but instead of talking about going to the places in those postcards, I would tell everyone about how I would have taken the picture differently.

I still had that camera. It was an old Polaroid that broke when I turned twenty, and it now sat proudly on one of the bookshelves in my apartment. That camera stood as a reminder to me of my dream, which was to show the beauty of the world to others, even in the places where people didn't think there was any. The world was full of it, if you knew how to look for it.

And right then, I was looking at the beauty that was Tommy Mikals through my camera lens. It was the bottom of the ninth, we were down by one run, and we had a runner on second. All Tommy needed to do was punch something through the infield so our runner could score.

My camera followed the pitcher's windup and the pitch, and then I watched through it as Tommy squared the ball up with his bat and sent it deep into center field. I pulled my eyes from my viewfinder as I watched the ball go deeper and deeper before the crowd went wild as it landed on the other side of the fence. A roar erupted around the field and every part of me wanted to join in as one of the fans, but I pulled my camera back up to watch Tommy take his home run trot.

As he rounded second base, I watched through my camera lens as he pulled the gold chain around his neck up to his lips before pointing both of his pointer fingers up to the sky, his eyes looking up toward the clouds. I knew the moment I captured the shot, it would be the image of the night. The new trade resulted in an Opening Day win. A sportswriter couldn't have written it any better.

The guys doused him with a Gatorade bath as he crossed home plate, celebrating their first win of the season. The stadium was electric with fans going wild: popcorn being thrown in the air, beer cans flying, and people bouncing into each other's arms. It was the perfect start to a season. The team jumped up and down, celebrating their comeback win with Tommy at the center, the biggest smile on his face.

I continued to snap photos of the team as they started to make their way to the dugout. They filed slowly down the stairs, picking up their bags as they made their way into the clubhouse. Jamil came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He picked me up off the ground and spun me around as he yelled in excitement. I laughed, unable to not join in on the energy. Jamil set me back on the ground to go run into the clubhouse, probably to go bug one of his teammates, and left me facing Tommy. He was still looking out at the field as the stadium slowly emptied and the grounds crew came out. I brought the camera to my eye to capture the moment.

"Nice game," I called out after a few seconds. He turned to take me in. I couldn't be sure, but it appeared that his eyes were a little wet, but it very well could have been the reflection from the stadium lights.

"Thanks," Tommy replied, the tears that looked like they had been there moments before nowhere to be found. He took a few more beats to glance around the stadium before he turned his attention back toward me. "I have a press conference and then I have to go get changed. Wait here?"

"Sure."

Tommy left me alone on the field to watch as the cleaning crew started to work their way through the aisles of the stadium and the grounds crew pulled their rakes off the field. It was like the calm after the storm and even better than the anticipation before the first pitch. The game was over, the war fought, the warriors gone to mend their wounds or to celebrate their victory. The game had transported all of them to another world for those three hours, and these quiet moments afterward were the return to reality.

I wandered toward the edge of the field, not daring to step on the dirt after the grounds crew had worked so hard to get it back in shape after the game. The lights were still on, and the sky was almost pitch black at this point. It made me wonder what it would be like to play in a stadium this large, under the lights, with the entire crowd cheering for or against you.

"Amazing, isn't it?" I turned to see that Tommy had reemerged from the clubhouse, freshly showered and wearing a pair of jeans and a light blue crewneck that made his eyes shine even brighter. A shiver raked down my body as I watched him get closer.

Part of me wanted to curse that damn contract. I had to remind myself why we were in this mess in the first place: Tommy's reputation. Even though he looked incredible in his uniform and my body responded to him in traitorous ways, he was off-limits and would be nothing but bad news for me.

"What's it like?" It was a chore to rip my mind away from Tommy and turn it back toward the stadium.

"Like I'm in a dream." Tommy walked up next to me, his hands deep in his pockets. "Every day."

I watched as Tommy took in the stadium, from the lights to the screen and everything in between. The way he looked at the field was like it could be his last time and he wanted to memorize every detail. The two of us stood in silence together as we stared out at the field, a mutual appreciation passing between us.

As the lights began to turn off, Tommy extended his elbow toward me. At that moment, I was at a crossroads. The second I put my arm through his, this was really happening. I would be Tommy Mikals's fake girlfriend.

I thought about the person I had been for the past four years, and to be honest, it wasn't a version of myself I was proud of. The me who had always been excited for a new adventure had died on that fateful night years ago. But it was time that someone new took her place. So I found myself sliding my hand through his arm and letting him lead me back toward the tunnel.

We dropped my camera off in the small office that Olivia and I shared, Tommy's eyes roaming over the shots that we had captured over the past three years. Many of them had turned out to be the perfect shot and had become well-known photos that memorialized different points in time for the Cougars. I followed his eyes as he studied each picture, remembering the game each still had come from.

"You're very talented," Tommy said after a few moments. That simple comment sent my heart soaring.

Growing up, I had never thought I could do anything with my camera besides take beautiful pictures for myself. If someone had told me that I could share pictures with the world taken from my point of view, I never would have believed them. When I first started with the Cougars, I would avoid all forms of feedback on social media. I didn't want some fan telling me I wasn't good enough to do this. It was a leap of faith, pursuing a job with the Cougars, and I didn't want someone to confirm my fears that I wasn't up to par.

However, those thoughts slowly faded away as the excitement around my pictures grew and the Cougars began to feature more of them on their accounts. Even now, my heart beat even harder with each small piece of praise I received. It was like a tiny confirmation that I was on the right track.

"Thanks," I replied as I plugged all of my cameras in so they'd be ready for the next practice. "Okay, all ready. Where are we going?"

"That's a surprise."

"You know this isn't like a real date, right?" I asked as I followed Tommy out to the player parking lot. "Surprises are typically what real boyfriends do for their real girlfriends."

"Just because this isn't real doesn't mean I can't still treat you right." Tommy looked at me over the top of his car as the two of us got in. "I owe you."

I stayed quiet, thinking about what Tommy had said. Did he really owe me if I was getting paid to do this? He took off down the interstate, heading east. My curiosity spiked as we crossed the state line into Indiana. I looked over at him questioningly. There definitely weren't paparazzi expecting us to be out and about in a different state.

He pulled off on a quiet road lined with houses that backed up to Lake Michigan, before parking the car in a parking lot that looked right over the lake. The waves crashed against large rocks that were on the other side of the chain. Tommy popped his trunk and grabbed a blanket before coming around to open my door. He lifted the chain, giving me room to dive underneath it and walk out onto the large rocks with Lake Michigan meters below. Tommy unraveled the blanket with a flourish and laid it out on the rocks before taking a seat.

"Coming?" he asked as I stood staring down at him. When Monica had talked through what would be expected of us, I thought I could handle public appearances where we acted in love, no feelings involved. But Tommy was asking me to sit next to him, and it wasn't like we could just stare out at Lake Michigan in silence. The moment felt more intimate than just two people who were both in a terrible predicament that were trying to get to know each other better.

This felt like a first date. But that couldn't be what this actually was. The only reason that he was giving someone like me the time of day was because we had both signed on the dotted line.

"I don't think this is what Monica had in mind when she told us we had to be seen in public." I motioned to the emptiness around us. "There's nobody here to see us."

"I thought that if we were really going to do this, we might as well get to know each other. It would help us sell that we really do like each other." Well, I guess that made some sense, but this was definitely not what I had mentally prepared myself for. But I guess it would be easier for me if I were to get to know the man behind the image. So I sat down next to him.

"What do you want to know?" I asked as I watched the water crash into the rocks below. Tommy looked over at me, like he was studying me, before he actually said anything. He was always doing that. Staring at me like I was some puzzle to unravel or solve. It set me on edge, making me feel like I was something foreign he'd never encountered before. Or something intriguing enough to want to understand.

"How'd you get your job with the Cougars? I feel like that's something I should know . . . since we are supposed to be dating and all." Tommy flinched. It was a quick flash of emotion that marred his face before he schooled his features back into normalcy. It was only there for a split second, but I still caught it.

My mind flashed back to the main catalyst behind me ending up with the Chicago Cougars.

I heard the screech of tires.

The lights blinded me.

"Maggie!"

Then everything went black.

But I wouldn't tell him any of that, so instead, I told him only part of the truth.

"I had just finished college," I started, leaning back on my hands as I looked out toward the horizon where the water met the sky. "I didn't have a job lined up like everyone else, but I knew I wanted to take photos of the world. To help me take my mind off job hunting, my dad took me to a Cougars game." I smiled over at Tommy and noticed him watching me intently like he truly cared about what I had to say. "I brought my camera with me and just so happened to get the picture of Adam Steel when he threw his perfect game that year. I had posted it on my social media and tagged the Cougars. They reached out the next day and hired me."

"You're the one that took that picture of Adam?" Tommy asked me. I wasn't surprised that he had seen it. It was used on the cover of ESPN The Magazine that year. It had been like a dream to see my name printed below that picture. My mom had it framed and hung it up on one of the living room walls. I pulled my knees up to my chest and nodded at him in affirmation. "You definitely have a special eye."

"What about you?" I asked, leaning my head against my knees as I watched him. Every experience I'd had with Tommy Mikals defied the image I had had of him in my head. "How did it all start with baseball?"

Tommy let out a long breath and lay back on his elbows, as he looked up at the sky and the stars that were twinkling down on us. His face looked conflicted as he rolled his lower lip between his teeth and he thought about my question. I watched him wrestle with whatever was going on inside him before he finally spoke.

"My dad put a bat in my hand at two years old. When it first started, it was something we bonded over. He taught me how to throw and field and took me to my first game back home in California. But by the time I was fourteen, I was on a baseball field more than I was in school. I thought it was something I wanted up until recently."

"What do you mean?"

"Baseball's brought me more terrible things in the past few years of my life than good. It makes me wonder if any of it was worth it."

I had no idea how to respond to that. Everything about Tommy was confident young hotshot who had the entire world at his feet. The man sitting next to me right then looked like he was ready to hang everything up and never touch a baseball again. He looked like he really did believe that baseball had basically ruined his life. There were layers of pain etched in every hard line of his body and the way he held tightly onto his knees.

The strained look on his face made me want nothing more than to pull the megawatt Tommy Mikals smile back onto his face. I wanted to erase all of the pain that he was feeling. It was an odd feeling to want to make someone else happy other than myself, but it felt like heavy pressure weighing on my chest that was begging to be released.

"Have you dived into the Chicago pizza debate yet?"

And there was the smile that I missed, mixed with a sense of relief to be changing the subject.

"I've only tried Lou's so far."

I leaned my head back and groaned. "Lou's? You haven't even gotten to Southside yet?"

Tommy's smile grew as he watched me. "Maybe you'll just have to take me sometime."

"Me take you on a date? I didn't think that's how this worked." And there was that conflicted look back on his face. Pain flickered across his eyes, and I filed that moment away to dissect later. It was clear that he was struggling with the fact that we were in this situation at all. "How about tomorrow? You guys are off, right?"

The strained look vanished like it had never been there. That smile that I couldn't seem to get enough of replaced it, bringing back the happiness and confidence that normally lived on his face. It made me wonder if this version of Tommy was the real one and the version the media knew was the image they'd created of him.

As I sat next to him, waiting to see if he'd want to widen his pizza tastebuds, I found myself forgetting about the fear I'd felt the day before from how Tommy had made me feel. Instead, all I could think about was the puzzle of this man. He seemed to be more than the professional athlete who liked to party too much and enjoyed his time with women. That was beginning to seem far from the actual truth of who he really was. I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be alarming that the folder with all of my feelings had slowly been pulled forward toward the front of my mind without me even noticing.

"Can I pick you up at six?" Tommy asked me, and I nodded, excited to have the opportunity to spend more time with him and unravel who he really was.