18. Maggie

The air had grown warmer the week we arrived back in Chicago. It was like the weather was even reflecting what had happened between me and Tommy. We still hadn't addressed the kiss we shared when there were no cameras around, but that didn't stop the two of us from passing looks at each other or reaching out to give the other a fleeting touch during our travel day back. It felt as if the dynamic between us had changed completely and the rules that had been there before were now gone, leaving us to try to find the new outline for whatever we were becoming.

But the safety of our time away quickly faded the moment we walked back into the stadium. May was waiting for me inside the gate of the employee parking lot like she was ready to pounce the second I walked inside. And pounce was exactly what she did. She wrapped an arm around my shoulder and began to steer me toward the elevators that led to the C-suite.

My entire body deflated on the elevator ride up. The last time I had ridden this elevator, my life had been forever changed. I was beginning to like the path my life had started on, and I was really hoping this visit with Monica wouldn't change it again.

"Before we go in," May yanked me to a stop just outside the conference room, "Monica wanted me to give this to you."

She handed me a white envelope. My name was scrawled across it. My fingers slipped underneath the seal to tear it open. Inside was a pay stub with a check attached. My eyebrows pulled together in confusion. I wasn't due for a check for another week.

"What is this?"

"Your advance for the agreement," May told me. My eyes snapped back down to the pay stub that detailed the payment for "team publicity."

My stomach dropped, and when I glanced back up, May's encouraging smile felt like a joke. When I first agreed to this entire thing, the money had sounded like a nice perk. But now, with the check in my hands, all I wanted to do was rip it up.

"Come on," May gestured toward the conference room. "They're all waiting for us."

I pushed the guilt bubbling in my stomach down as I followed her. It was exactly like the first time I had walked into the conference room. Everyone was already there when May and I walked in. Tommy was sitting in the same spot, except this time he looked less defeated than before. His eyes tracked me as I walked in, a question in them like he was trying to make sure I was okay. Monica drew both of our attention away from each other before I could try to answer him.

"There are my two lovebirds!" My body tensed with fear at Monica knowing that something more was happening between us. But I pushed that thought aside as she continued, "You guys are doing such a wonderful job. The talk surrounding Tommy has been much better these past few weeks. It even seems like they're turning over a new leaf when it comes to what they think about Tommy."

I glanced away from Monica to look at Tommy. His eyes were already on mine.

"We want you two to attend the ESPYS together. Walk the red carpet, look truly in love. We think it will really seal the deal for the media on your relationship."

It wasn't the worst thing that Monica could have said. We had already done a red carpet event together. That wasn't anything new. But from the look on Tommy's face, it was something completely new for him. He looked like he had swallowed something sour, and as soon as Monica told us that was all she wanted to see us for, he left the room like a bat out of hell.

My chair screeched as I raced after him. He was jamming his finger into the button to close the elevator door when I slipped through, like someone had flipped the script from the first meeting. Tommy let out a sigh as soon as I stopped next to him.

"What?" I asked him, feeling like I was wading through uncharted waters with this new side of him that I hadn't seen.

"It's nothing," Tommy replied, his eyes firmly on his shoes.

"It's clearly not nothing."

When Tommy decided to stay silent, I reached out and pushed the emergency stop button on the wall in front of us. He startled as the elevator jerked to a stop. His hand thrust out to steady himself against the wall, but I didn't have the forethought to do such a thing, so I went flying straight into his chest.

"Ow!" I groaned as my nose bent at an awkward angle. Tommy's arm wrapped around my waist before I went bouncing away from him. The two of us froze as our eyes locked, almost exactly like one of the romance movies I liked to watch. Tommy cleared his throat before he let me go and took a small step away from me to give us room.

"What are you doing, Maggie?" Tommy asked, almost on a sigh.

"I don't know," I admitted, turning to pace toward the other side of the elevator. "You were running away and you wouldn't talk to me, so I had to do something."

"Like shutting down the elevator?"

"It felt like the right thing to do." I wrapped my arms around myself as my mind began to outpace me. "I want you to talk to me."

Tommy watched me from across the elevator, like he was weighing if he actually wanted to give in and tell me what he was wrestling with inside. After a moment, the tension in him seemed to release like a dam.

"I haven't been back to an event like that since before."

"Before what?" I pressed.

"Before I changed."

"Changed?"

I took a few steps closer to him, nervous that if I moved too fast I would spook him. He looked at me as I drew near and didn't speak again until I was back inches from him.

"Just over a year ago, I had a bit of a bender. I got behind the wheel of a car and drove myself home with absolutely no recollection of doing so the next day. I had never hated myself more. It was so unlike me that it made me rethink everything I had been doing. I stopped drinking more than a glass and only when I went out, and I stopped hanging around all the people that had been in my life at that time." Tommy looked away from me then, like he couldn't bear to see what I would think of him. "I could have killed someone that night."

"Do you think your mom made her oatmeal cookies?" Luke asked me from the passenger seat. We were on our way to my parents' house for dinner to celebrate the start of our senior year and our engagement. I didn't want to tell him that my mom had made about six dozen oatmeal cookies for Luke or she would kill me.

"We'll find out," I told him, glancing over.

"Are you still good to go to the party on Saturday?"

"Sure." This time, I turned my head all the way to look over at the beautiful man next to me. His smile set off fireworks inside me every time I saw it, and I would do anything in the world to keep seeing it, even if that meant going to a party I didn't really want to be at. I kept my gaze on him for a moment longer, thinking I'm so in love with this man.

Then I heard the screech of tires. I snapped my head back to the road only to be blinded by lights that I realized were coming right at us.

"Maggie!"

And then everything went black.

"Maggie?"

I blinked when I realized that someone had said my name. When the world came back into focus, I was staring up into Tommy's face.

"Where'd you go there?"

"What?" I asked as my body finally returned to normal. My heart had been racing and my breathing had gone shallow as I remembered the night that had changed everything for me.

"You went somewhere just now." Tommy's hands were moving up and down my arms, and I looked at them, realizing that they had probably been there for a minute or two.

"It was nothing." I reached out to push the button and the elevator jerked back into motion. Tommy started to argue with me, but the doors opened and I practically ran out of them to avoid whatever it was he was going to say.

He was hot on my heels as I started to head back toward the employee parking lot. My legs were no match for Tommy's long legs, however, and soon he was walking in pace next to me, his head swiveling around the parking lot.

"Which one is yours?"

"I don't have a car," I mumbled, trying to outrun the memory I had experienced.

"What do you mean you don't have a car?" Tommy wasn't going to let me shake him off.

"I don't have a car." I spoke a little firmer as I walked out of the parking lot to stop next to the bus stop. Tommy's eyes swiveled between me and the sign before he pulled his keys out of his pocket.

"Where are you going?"

My eyes drifted closed as I let out a slow breath. None of this was Tommy's fault. It wasn't like he was behind the wheel that night. He was on the other side of the country. The person who should feel at fault was me. I was the one who actually had killed someone.

"Maggie . . ." Tommy's voice had dropped to a whisper as he tried to keep me from drifting away again. My eyes slowly rose to meet his. If I wanted to avoid telling him what was going on in my head, I had one option.

"You want to take me where I'm going?" I asked.

"Yes. I don't want you to have to ride the bus."

"Then you're coming with me to see my parents." Without waiting for Tommy's response, I turned on my heel and walked toward the player parking lot where his car would be parked.

Tommy stayed quiet as we got inside his car, and I wanted to kiss him for it. I most definitely did not want to tell him about that part of my life yet. The only time we spoke was when he asked me for my parents' address, and then the rest of the ride was filled with the music from the speakers of his car.

The moment we turned down that familiar street, I felt all of the emotions I had been feeling slowly leave my body. It was like no matter what happened, home would always be a safe place. Tommy's eyes took in the wraparound porch and the old swing. I could see him imagining a younger version of myself walking up those very steps in front of us.

"Come on," I told him as I pushed out of his car.

He followed me up the stairs of my childhood home with his hands deep in his pockets as his eyes roamed everywhere, taking in every detail. My mom was in the kitchen, and my dad was nowhere to be found when we walked into the foyer.

It was as if I were looking at all of my mom's decorations for the first time as my eyes scanned for anything embarrassing that Tommy would see.

"Maggie?" my mom called from the kitchen. Whatever she was cooking smelled amazing.

"I'm coming," I yelled back, motioning for Tommy to follow me.

When I rounded the corner with Tommy in tow, my mom's eyes widened in surprise before she schooled her face like the sweet woman that she is. Her apron was covered in flour, and the smell coming from the oven was lasagna.

"Well, hello!" My mom smiled warmly at Tommy as she wiped her hands off and reached out to wrap him in a hug. "I'm Cindy."

"Tommy," he told her as he pulled away from the hug.

"I'm so happy you're joining us." The smile on my mom's face said everything. I was sure she felt that she'd never see the day when I brought someone home again, and quite honestly, I thought that day would never happen again as well. "Food will be ready in fifteen minutes. Can I get you two anything in the meantime?"

"I'm okay. Thank you, Mrs. Redford."

"Please, call me Cindy." My mom waved Tommy's formality off. "Mrs. Redford is Richard's mom. And speaking of your father, he's upstairs taking a shower. I'm sure he will be quite surprised when he comes down."

I held back a smile at my mom's subtle jab in my direction for springing Tommy Mikals on the two of them without any warning. She would be pestering me for days after this, I was sure.

"I have a few things to finish up in the kitchen. Why don't you two go ahead into the living room. I'll meet you there in a minute." I gestured for Tommy to follow me over toward the couches, wanting nothing more than to sink into the corner of my parents' sectional and close my eyes until the food was ready. Tommy had other ideas though.

Instead of taking a seat on the couch next to me, he slowly took a turn around the room. His eyes roamed the framed pictures on the walls and my mom's paintings. He stopped to look at a photo my dad had taken of me when I still played softball in high school. Tommy gave me a curious glance over his shoulder before he moved to the next one. It was a painting my mom had done, and her signature was in the bottom corner.

"Your mom paints?"

"Oh yes. She hasn't put anything in a gallery recently, but you'll see a ton of her paintings all over the house." Tommy started to move toward the shelves on the other side of the room before he stopped in midstep, his eyes zeroing in on something. His body blocked whatever it was he was looking at on the mantel, but I was waiting for him to make a comment on the picture of me in the Belle costume from the second grade.

"You have a fiancé?" My blood froze as I realized which picture Tommy was looking at. It seemed like all the events of today were leading up to this moment. The two of us stared at each other, Luke's face right over Tommy's shoulder in the picture behind him.

"I did," I replied. "I don't anymore, and I'm not sure there is much else to say."

It felt like we were in a standoff as Tommy weighed whether he should push the subject or not. He must have read something on my face that told him not to because he nodded and continued to move on to the next set of bookshelves. I let out a breath, full of pent-up energy I didn't know I had been holding inside me as soon as Tommy's back was turned.

If something between the two of us evolved into more than a fake relationship, I knew I would have to tell him about Luke. But today would not be the day. I was more confused about where Tommy and I stood today than I had been before the night we watched romance movies in the hotel in California. Before I shared with him one of the more intimate moments of my life, I was going to need some clarity on what we were.

Moments later, my father walked into the room to stir the metaphorical spoon on the awkward soup that was occurring in my parents' house.

"Tommy Mikals?" he shrieked, like a teenage girl seeing her favorite boy band member for the first time. My mouth dropped open at the sheer audacity he had to not control himself.

Bless Tommy, because he took it like a champ. "You must be Mr. Redford."

That was the last awkward-parent moment of the visit, thankfully. Tommy chatted with my parents and had them both won over by the end of the meal. I caught my mom giving me approving looks while my father had Tommy's ear.

As I stared across the table at Tommy, thinking about how the world brought the two of us together, a little piece of me dared to hope that this would last. Because sitting around the table with him and my parents felt normal, and I was craving a little normal.