36. Declan

36

DECLAN

As I scanned the room, my gaze automatically fell where it had all evening, on Ashley. She’d effortlessly floated from group to group, conversing with every employee in attendance. I hadn’t asked her to. In fact, I hadn’t prepped her for the event at all. She was just being herself, and people were drawn to her. She was the flame, surrounded by moths.

There was a running clock in my head. We’d been here for one hour and forty-eight minutes. At the two-hour mark, we were leaving. Typically, I stayed until the party ended, which was around four hours. But not tonight. Tonight, I wanted to be with my wife. Tonight, Ashley had promised me that she would be just that—my wife, and I wanted to take full advantage of that promise.

My eyes were still locked on Ashley when Hannah stepped beside me. “Everyone seems to be having a good time.”

This year, instead of holding the party at the Wolfe Hotel ballroom, Hannah suggested we have it on the top floor of the office building, which was currently unoccupied because it had been my grandfather’s private offices.

The plan was to reimagine the space to use more efficiently once the new permanent CEO was installed. Since the demo had already occurred, it was basically a shell of ten thousand square feet. A blank canvas. Hannah hired an incredible team that created a winter wonderland. There were a half dozen Christmas trees, twinkle lights dripping from the ceiling, garland strung up, and snowflakes illuminated on the exposed brick walls. A DJ was set up in a far corner, a dance floor was in the center of the room, and there was an open bar and hors d'oeuvres being circulated around the room.

“Yes, they do.” I turned to Hannah. “You did a great job.”

“Thanks.” She lifted her drink, which looked to be some sort of holiday-themed cocktail, sipped it, lowered her arm, and then sighed. “So did you.”

“Me?” I hadn’t had anything to do with the Christmas party other than approving the budget.

“Yes.” Hannah tilted her martini glass toward the other side of the room. “She is amazing.”

I followed the direction her glass pointed and saw Ashley speaking to the head of marketing at Wolfe Tequila, several people in the HR department at Wolfe Hotels whoever she was introduced to, she treated with respect, interest, and kindness.

“I love her,” she continued. “I really, really do.”

Hannah never gave her personal opinion on anything or anyone, much less be that effusive. I wondered if her newfound boldness was alcohol-related. In all the years I’d worked with her, I’d never seen her drunk, tipsy, or even a little buzzed.

“I admit I had my reservations when you told me what you’d done. In fact, it was more than that; I was convinced that you had made some sort of arrangement.”

“An arrangement?” I repeated.

Hannah’s eyes cut to mine, and they narrowed. “There was a rumor that Mr. Wolfe put a clause in his will that the company would be passed down to whichever heir was married.”

I hoped that my expression didn’t give anything away. Not that it actually mattered. I doubted my brother was going to contest the company going to me. He’d been more than happy about me buying him out, and the last time I saw him when I checked him into rehab, he seemed to be loving his footloose and fancy-free lifestyle. Even if he did, he wouldn’t have a legal leg to stand on. I was married. That was the sole stipulation for me to inherit the business. The validity or length of the wedlock had no bearing on the outcome.

“I was sure that you married Ashley as a business deal,” Hannah continued. “But now that I’ve seen the two of you together…I know that’s not the case. This is real.”

I wanted to ask how she knew that, considering it wasn’t the case at all. Her first instinct had been correct. This was a business deal. An arrangement. Whatever had caused her to change her mind tonight was incorrect.

Despite it being in my best interest to drop the subject, I was unable to stop myself from asking, “What changed your mind?”

She tilted her head to the side as she considered her response. “It’s the way you look at her, the way you are so aware of her in the room even when you’re not with her. You haven’t gone more than a few minutes, no, a few seconds , without checking on her. And when you look at her…” She exhaled a soft sigh. “You can just see it written all over your face.”

I thought back to the Thanksgiving I’d spent with the Comfort brothers and Cash, and the day I’d spent in the hospital waiting room with them; I thought about how they all looked at their wives. I thought back to the NSFW text Ashley sent me about Clyde, saying that all she wanted was someone to look at her like he looked at Bonnie.

Was that how I was looking at Ashley? Surely not. Those men, and Clyde, loved their significant others. I cared about Ashley, but we weren’t in love. I wasn’t even sure I was capable of love.

“She is, bar none, hands down, no question, the best thing that has ever happened to you. Thank God, you found her.” Hannah placed her hand on her chest. “I was really worried about you.”

“Worried? About me ?”

Never in my life had someone been worried about me. It was always my mother, who was ill, or my father, who was an alcoholic, or Derek, who was always in trouble in school and then an addict. Never me.

“Yes.” She nodded with an earnest expression.

“Why me?”

“Because you have horrible taste in women. I mean, until Ashley, that is. I didn’t know Wren, Talia, or Lucia, but from what your grandmother says, they were just carbon copies of Serena, and Serena was… well, horrible . And you’re… well, you’re you .”

“I’m me? What does that mean?”

“It means you’re great. You’re objectively good-looking…some would even say sexy ,” she whispered as she leaned forward. “And you’re smart, witty- ish , rich, hard-working, honest, and loyal, but you’re not very…” She patted her chest and shook her head.

“Not very what?”

“You live in your head. You make decisions based on logic, not emotions. And because of that, you attract the wrong sort of person.”

“What’s the wrong sort of person?”

“Another Serena. Someone who likes the things you can provide for her, the lifestyle. Someone who is satisfied with a shallow and materialistic relationship. You need someone who brings heart into your life. Someone who takes you out of your head and opens up your heart. You need a heart person like Ashley.” She reached up to touch my chest but stumbled forward.

“How much have you had to drink?”

She picked up her glass and held it in front of her face as she closed one eye and studied it. I wasn’t sure what her pirate stare was going to achieve.

“This is my fourth, no fifth drink. And then before these, I had a glass of wine and I pre-gamed.”

“Are you okay?” I asked, already knowing the answer to the question.

“Fine. I’m fine. Everything is fiiineee ,” she emphasized the last fine.

“Call me crazy, but whenever someone uses the word fine three times in a row, they are not fine.”

I knew that Hannah was not a huge fan of the holidays. Over the years we’d worked together, she’d shared that they weren’t happy times in her childhood and that they hadn’t been great in her adulthood either. She’d mentioned that as a single person, this time of year could feel isolating and lonely. I hated seeing her like this and wished I could do something to make it better.

“I just thought that I was going to have my Love Actually moment,” she explained.

“Your what?”

“My Love Actually moment,” she repeated as if the second time she said it, it would somehow make sense. When she saw my blank expression, she continued, “You know when Laura Linney’s character finally hooks up with her office crush at the Christmas party. Well, not at the Christmas party. They go back to her house and then up to her loft for bow-chick-a-wow-wow. But they don’t actually end up hooking up because her brother, who has mental health issues and she cares for because her parents are both dead and it’s only them, calls and needs her, but that’s not the point.” She waved her hands in front of her face. “I thought I was going to have my moment, and then he goes and brings a date .”

“He?” I glanced around the room, wondering who the he was she could be talking about.

There were only a few single guys in the office that would even be close to being in Hannah’s league. Aiden Pierce, who worked in HR, but he was gay, so I doubted she was referring to him. Isaac Roberts, who worked in marketing, but I hadn’t seen him with anyone tonight, and Leo Grant, who I noticed was standing with a very attractive woman who I’d never seen before, talking to the DJ.

“Leo?”

He’d worked for the company for five years now. Like Hannah, he was a fellow Brit who moved to Boston when he was twenty-two after graduating from Oxford with honors. He received his law degree from Harvard and has worked for the company for six years now. Some of the women in the office nicknamed him Duke of Hastings because of his accent, and he resembled the actor who played the character in the first season of Bridgerton . I’d always suspected Hannah had a crush on the Regé-Jean Page look-a-like, but she’d never copped to it. Since I wasn’t one to pry, I’d never asked her about it.

“Shh.” She put her forefinger to her mouth as she hushed me. “Anyway, I figure if I’m not gonna have my Love Actually moment, I might as well drink.”

She set her drink down at the bar and motioned for the bartender to get her another one. As we waited for the bartender to finish filling the drinks of the other guests, I was considering cutting her off when we heard her name being called behind us.

“Hannah.”

We both turned around and saw Leo.

“Hi, Duke…I mean…Leo,” Hannah quickly corrected her Freudian slip.

I suppressed a grin as a slow song began to play through the speakers.

Leo held out his hand. “Would you like to dance?”

“What about your date?” Hannah asked as she picked up the drink that the bartender had just made her and pointed in the direction of the attractive woman he’d just been talking to. “Don’t you think she’ll mind?”

Leo glanced over at the woman who he’d come to the party with. “My sister? No, I don’t think she’ll mind.”

Hannah’s eyes were wide. “That’s your sister?”

He nodded. “She’s visiting from London. I thought you knew that. I’m single. Very single.”

I watched as Hannah’s cheeks flushed, and she set her glass down and nodded. As the two of them made their way to the makeshift dance floor, I hoped that he had good intentions toward her. Hannah had a very hard exterior, but she was very sensitive. Not that she needed me to look out for her, but I did feel very protective of her, and I wouldn’t be above firing him if he hurt her, not that I’d ever admit that, since it was probably illegal grounds for dismissal, and he was an attorney.

When the duo made it to the middle of the floor, Leo placed his hands on Hannah’s hips. Her head peeked over his shoulder, and she mouthed, “ Love Actually ,” to me with a huge smile on her face. As much as I didn’t love the idea of inter-office romances, seeing Hannah this happy was worth it.

Speaking of happy, my eyes automatically tracked the woman who had made me happy the past two months. I watched as she excused herself and walked down the hallway to the bathroom. The party was still going strong. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. I checked the time. The two hours I’d promised myself I would stay were up. With my self-imposed obligation fulfilled, we were free to leave.

With long strides, I crossed the room, a man on a mission. As I waited outside the bathroom door, I could feel my heart rate increase. Over the past two weeks, Ashley had been pulling away. We’d only spoken a few times a week, and our talks were never any longer than a few minutes. Last week, she was sick, so that was the “reason” she’d missed a few calls or cut our talks short, but I still felt like it might have been a convenient excuse.

Something had shifted in our dynamic since Thanksgiving. Maybe she was upset that I’d shown up for the holiday uninvited. Maybe she’d met someone else and was counting the days until she was a single woman again. The thought of that made my blood boil.

Tonight, I wanted to do everything I could to solidify whatever time we had. I may not be able to offer her everything she wanted, but I did know I wasn’t coming to the table empty-handed.

The door opened, and I took a step toward her. “Hey.”

She was startled to see me, or maybe she was just startled to see anyone standing there, and she jumped back a little. “Hi.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay.” She smiled as she looked up at me, and all the anxiety I felt drained out of me. It was the same thing that happened the first night I’d met her at the bar.

“Are you ready to go?”

“Oh, yeah. I guess.” Her brow creased. “I mean, is the party over?”

“No, but that’s a perk of being the boss. I don’t have to stay to the end.”

“Oh, okay. Should we say goodbye?”

“No, that’s another benefit.”

She nodded, and I placed my hand on the base of Ashley’s back and escorted her to the elevators. On the way down, she yawned, and I noticed that there were dark circles beneath her eyes.

“Are you feeling okay?”

Her lids were heavy as she blinked. “I think I’m just still getting over whatever I had. Also, I had a drink, and I’m just really sleepy.”

“Are you sure you want to go back to Firefly tonight? I can get you a room at the hotel, or you can come and stay at my place. I can sleep on the couch if you want.”

The elevator doors opened to the lower parking garage and we walked out to my SUV.

She smiled over at me, but even her smile looked weak. “What kind of wife would make her husband sleep on the couch?”

“Does that mean you want to come back to my house?”

She nodded. “Take me home.”

Those might be the three sweetest words I’d ever heard.