Chapter 9

“Thanks for letting me come with you.”

Orion kept walking along the trail, ahead of Charlie. “Free country.”

“Is that really the reason why you didn’t object?” Charlie scanned the forest—void of animals, who had moved on to safer areas. Smoke hung in the air. They’d seen the smokejumper team land hours ago and finished up their day of work. The bus had picked up the rest of the crew—taking them back to the Ember base camp for the night.

Another day done. No lives lost, and no property destroyed by fire.

Something to celebrate.

Only God knew what tomorrow would bring. Certainly the weatherman didn’t.

“It’s not exactly complicated figuring why you’d want to go to the fire camp for the night.”

Charlie couldn’t tell if the kid was mad or bitter or what. “Keep talking. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Couple days, you’re already moving in.”

“You think I’m trying to start something with your mom?”

“Why wouldn’t you? She’s great.”

Charlie didn’t think Orion saw that as a good thing. “Because you saw me kiss her cheek this morning when we left, or what?”

Orion said, “You tell me.”

They’d reached the lake, which meant it wasn’t far to the camp. Clouds stacked up above the mountains to the west, huge expanses of smoke high in the sky. Ash fell to the ground around them. Charlie saw a shed. “What’s in there?”

It would make a terrible shelter, but it was the only thing out here. If it came down to making a run for it and they had to flee camp, the lake was their best shot. A helicopter could land on the beach and rescue the campers.

“Bunch of canoes. You gonna take my mom out on the lake? Get her to kiss you under the stars?”

Charlie said, “Is your mom’s love life really any of your business? She’s an adult, and so are you. Pretty sure you don’t get a say until maybe something permanent happens.”

Charlie might not be around for that, and he wouldn’t want to see her marry some other guy anyway, but he didn’t want Orion getting all tangled in knots over his mom falling in love.

“I do if she’s making another mistake.”

“There’s nothing about you that was a mistake.” Charlie couldn’t believe the kid would even think that. “Maybe not the wisest choice, but who you are is up to you and not the decisions your mom and I made. Not at this point in your life.”

“So tell her to be happy for me.” Orion glanced back. “I wanna be a smokejumper next year. I need her blessing.”

“Do you?”

“I want it.”

“Okay.” Charlie nodded. “I’ll help her work through it so she can be happy for you.”

Orion eyed him, like he hadn’t been sure it would be that simple. Then they were at the camp, so there was nothing else to say that the others wouldn’t hear.

Bridget, the older woman who worked here, came out of the main building. “Did you see Sparky on your way in?”

Orion shook his head.

“Who?” Charlie didn’t know who they were talking about.

“The dog. I’ll get him, Bridget.” Orion wandered toward another building. “Sparky! Where you at, boy! Sparky!”

Bridget said, “The dog will come for Orion, even when he’s scared. I just hope he isn’t hurt.” She shook off the worry and said, “Jayne is inside. The kids should be about done with dinner prep.”

“Thanks.”

“Alexis passed her phase four written test.” Bridget smiled. “All the kids did, but you should be very proud of her.”

“I am.” Charlie nodded.

“She’ll make a wonderful RN or paramedic, or even a firefighter, if that’s what she decides to do.” Bridget patted his arm and wandered off after Orion.

Charlie hung his head. She would be wonderful, but he wasn’t going to be around to see what Alexis became. No matter how much he might want to fight to live, it wasn’t just him that would have to pay the price. It would cost Alexis. Maybe even Jayne, and Orion for sure.

Three of them. Where before it had been just his daughter—and that was bad enough.

Why did You make this harder? Aren’t You supposed to lighten a man’s burdens?

The sound of a small engine approached from down the dirt road. A second later, an ATV came into view. On top of it, a man in uniform. The local sheriff.

He pulled all the way up in front of the main house, and Charlie went to meet him. “Hutchinson, right?”

The sheriff nodded.

“I’m Charlie Benning. You’ve been talking with my teammate Dakota about finding Earl?”

The sheriff nodded again, a pinched expression on his face. Did he think Dakota should stay in his lane? Charlie wasn’t sure what lane an ex-SWAT officer who’d been through rehab for a pain pill addiction and then chose to be a hotshot was supposed to be in. Dakota’s instincts were all cop, born of years of training and work. He wasn’t going to let a murderer go free.

Considering he’d seen this Earl guy up here just yesterday, he was inclined to agree with Dakota on this one. The guy needed to be caught.

Jayne came outside, wiping her hands on a dish towel. “Sheriff.” They shook.

“Sounds like you’ve had a full few days.”

Jayne nodded. “Any update on clearing the road? That truck is blocking us from evacuating.”

“I spoke to the BLM. They’re not worried that the fire will reach the camp, but they did put a rush on that wrecker. We’ll clear your road soon.”

Charlie said, “Maybe you could have the BLM talk to Miles Dafoe. He’s not quite as convinced the camp is safe.”

“That why you’re here?”

He didn’t want to fully answer the sheriff’s question. Not when Orion had also grilled him on his intentions toward Jayne. Couldn’t he just live each day as it came without working an angle? Houston had told him to trust God. To rest in Him and quit living in survival mode—which was difficult when his days were numbered down to just a few weeks.

Sooner or later, he wouldn’t have any left.

Most people didn’t know when they were going to die, they didn’t get to enjoy their last days like Charlie could. If people would quit hounding him, anyway.

“Why don’t you tell us why you’ve paid us a visit, Sheriff?” Jayne held the dish towel on her hip. “Did you finally get my message that the man you’re looking for was seen up here?”

Sheriff Hutchinson scratched at his jaw. “I’d like to take a look around, if that’s all right. Make sure he’s not tucked away somewhere.”

“Be my guest.”

“I’ve got my men spread thin, working on evacuating folks that live between here and Snowhaven.”

The town to the southwest lay in the path of the part of the fire that had branched off. No one wanted to endanger an entire town by routing the fire that way. The wind, however, might have different ideas.

“I’d also like to see if your guest is still here.”

“He told me he was moving on, to keep us safe.”

Charlie turned to face Jayne. “You saw him?”

She nodded, a look on her face like I’ll tell you later . “He was concerned he’d put us in danger.”

“Did he tell you his real name?” the sheriff asked. When Jayne shook her head, he said, “I believe it’s actually Crispin Lamb. I showed the copy of his picture that you sent me to Sophie—she confirmed it is him.”

“Who is Sophie’s brother?” Charlie couldn’t figure how the guy might fit in with Earl the murderer and the guy he’d killed—who turned out to be some kind of secret agent, for the good guys or the bad guys.

“That’s what I’m attempting to figure out,” the sheriff said. “She doesn’t know where he’s been for six years or why he’s here now. If Earl is up here looking for him, then Crispin is tied into something. Earl and his brother Floyd—they set their minds to something and they chase it down. They don’t let anything get in their way.”

Jayne glanced at Charlie. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

“I just wish I knew what got a bee in their bonnets this time.”

“At least they might have moved on.” Charlie shrugged. “But we’ll be keeping an eye out.”

The sheriff nodded. “Take care. I’ll let y’all know when I leave.”

* * *

Jayne set her plate on the tiny porch table. Charlie laid his on top. They both sat back in their chairs. Bridget had volunteered to sit with the kids for dinner?—not that they needed more than general supervision. Though, Jayne planned to talk to each one before bedtime and make sure they were doing all right with the situation. Bridget had shoved Jayne and Charlie out to sit on the porch and eat where it was quiet.

Charlie said, “Nice night.”

She stared at the glow on the horizon above the trees. Lower than it had been, since the fire shrank back in the cooler night temps. “It always is. Summer glows at night. Fall is amazing, all orange and brown. In winter everything is under snow, and it’s so beautiful. There’s this thing called a hoar frost, and it’s like all the branches are covered in crystals. In the spring everything thaws, and all you can see is green everywhere. Bunny rabbits hopping around. Deer and elk. Bears.”

He was staring at her.

“What?”

“You love it here.”

“I’ve never wanted to be anywhere else.” She sighed, the kind of tired that came after a long day of work. Some stress that wasn’t normal, but in general, the day had been as normal as she could make it. “Maybe at first that was because my mom kicked me out. The camp director—you remember Mr. Halpert?” When he nodded, she said, “He’s the one who found me walking on the side of the highway with my backpack.”

“I wish I could thank him for helping you when you had no one.”

“Mr. Halpert and his wife had me deep dive into a Bible study and really seek the Lord for what the future was going to bring. They said not to call you while I was still emotional. That it should be a rational decision that was important but not as emotionally charged as it would be in the heat of the moment. Telling you that I was pregnant.”

She was aware of Charlie turning to look at her.

She couldn’t face him, but she did need to get this out. “I think maybe I got too comfortable here. I liked where I was, helping out through the winter. A search and rescue training group came through, and I was only doing housekeeping type stuff, but I got to talk with them. It was really interesting, and it felt like I was helping them do their work. Even that little bit.

“I wanted to call you. So many times. I think I got too used to what I had. I didn’t want anything to change.” She swallowed. “I was scared. Like when I was told my dad had died. When I realized my mother was only going to withdraw and never let the wound heal. Scared down to my soul, in a way that felt like being paralyzed.”

Charlie reached over and intertwined his fingers with hers.

“Do you think you can ever forgive me?”

His fingers tightened around hers, barely a reflex. “Jayne?—”

The front door flung open so hard the screen snapped back on its hinges. Orion strode across the porch and down the steps, chased by the camp dog. It hadn’t taken him long to find the dog earlier, spooked by something and hiding in the fire gear shed. Crazy dog liked the smell of sweat—probably a jacket or shirt Orion had worn once.

Their son didn’t even look back at them.

“Something I should know?”

Charlie huffed, still holding her hand. “He’s assuming I’m here to make a move on you. Like that would be my agenda.”

“Holding hands probably isn’t convincing him otherwise. But it’s nice, and I’d prefer if you didn’t let go.” She hated the idea of that paralyzing fear creeping up on her again. Having Charlie with her helped more than she’d have thought possible.

Orion disappeared around one of the buildings. Probably headed to the patch of grass they kept mowed by the entrance. He liked to throw a ball for Sparky before they headed to bed, where the dog would lie on his feet all night.

“He wanted to take that dog to the Ember base camp. Sparky is a stray who wandered into camp a few years ago with no collar. We took pictures and posted them on the local community pages, but no one claimed him, so Orion kept him. But when he went to put Sparky in his truck, the dog flat out refused. He was scared to ride in a vehicle.”

“That’s odd.”

She’d thought so too at the time. “He’s happy here, and Orion usually visits when he can, so they see each other.”

“He’s a good man.”

She sighed. “When the fire season ends, he spends four months pushing snow—he has a snowplow attachment for his truck. Spring, he landscapes. All of it is so he can return to firefighting come summer. And become a smokejumper.” The last part was hard to say.

Charlie lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “There are never any guarantees. Not for any of us.”

“I should know how to trust God better than this.” She bit her lip. “Maybe I’m just too selfish. Maybe I raised a selfish son who can’t watch his mom date anyone.”

“Or he’s used to being the man in your life, and things are changing. For both of you.”

“Or he’s thrown by the whole thing because I’ve never dated much. Plus it’s you .” Maybe Orion thought she’d been pining for Charlie all these years?—which meant her son hadn’t been enough to fill her heart.

“It is me.” Charlie chuckled. “I mostly just dated moms of kids who were in school with Alexis. Then I’d get invited to sports events and other stuff where Alexis might be. I got to see her play basketball and softball.”

Jayne loved that he’d sought out his daughter. They’d both made so many mistakes, but this was where God had them right now. “She’s a great kid.”

“I can’t take any credit for that.”

“You had more of an impact than you know, I think.” Wasn’t that true of anyone? People never even saw the extent of the reach they had—the lives they touched either directly or inadvertently.

Like something as simple as the letter Charlie carried. The one addressed to her.

She wanted to ask him about it, but once again, that paralyzing fear crept in like a cold front turning everything to stone the way ice did.

With the kids, she could be courageous, encouraging, and the mentor they needed. When her heart got involved, fear overtook everything and she couldn’t move. Couldn’t speak.

The dog yelped from across the camp.

Jayne stood up so she could lean on the porch rail and look out. Sparky raced around the corner of the building closest to the entrance, running at full speed. “Sparky, come!”

The dog raced to the door, which opened as Alexis came out. “Whoa, Sparky.” The dog raced past her, nearly knocking her over, and into the building. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know.” Jayne headed down the steps.

“Orion was with the dog.” Charlie followed her.

Alexis came with them. “Where?”

“Over by the entrance.” Jayne started walking faster. The kids all knew about Earl, and she’d shown them his picture. They weren’t allowed outside without someone with them—and not after dark at all.

She glanced back and saw they’d been followed by both Shellys, Tiger, and the local boy, Niall. Tiger had a flashlight, and Niall carried a baseball bat. She didn’t like the look of that, but they all wanted to pitch in for her son. Who could argue with teens that cared?

Jayne reached the grassy area they called “the meadow” first. “Everyone fan out and look for Orion.” Above her in the sky, she spotted the constellation he was named after. The one she and Charlie had found, stretched out on the grass. The only one they’d known the name of—something that had made them laugh.

Lord, help us find him, please.

The kids spread out. Alexis walked beside her, holding a flashlight of her own, scanning the ground.

Where was he?

“What’s over there?” Charlie called out, pointing. The only one not familiar with the area.

“The river.”

Tiger said, “We should go check. He might’ve fallen down.”

Jayne headed that direction. “There are a couple of spots that are pretty steep. But he knows this area like he knows his truck.” Why would he have fallen?

A smaller hand clasped hers. Jayne and Alexis jogged to the edge, where Tiger had his flashlight pointed down. “I see him.”

Charlie stalled the kid with a hand on his chest. “We need ropes. No one goes down there without my say so.”

Jayne crouched at the edge of the muddy bank that dropped ten or so feet down a steep incline to the rushing ice-cold river—snow runoff that led to the lake. She could make out Orion’s shoulder, his body facing away from them. The rest of him was obscured by brush.

Not moving.

She gasped. “Orion!”