Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

TEDDY

I didn’t reach out to Charlotte. I wanted to know how she was doing, but every time I thought about texting or calling, the cavern in my chest expanded.

She put my family in danger. I couldn’t dismiss that so easily.

I searched the court’s online database to confirm that she’d at least filed a petition for the temporary peace order, and it was granted.

It hurt to even think about her. I’d fallen for her, but I never really knew her at all. I moved back into my house even though the floors weren’t completed because I couldn’t stand to be her next-door neighbor anymore.

I wanted to reassure myself that she was okay, which didn’t make any sense. She’d lied to me. I shouldn’t care about her well-being.

I hated that my heart wasn’t catching up with my brain. She’d done an unforgivable thing. I wouldn’t be seeing her anytime soon. If I had my way, she wouldn’t be working at the farm anymore. That way I wouldn’t have to see her at all.

Hopefully, she’d move to another town to get a job. I tried and failed not to let that bother me. I was so frustrated with myself; I worked longer hours.

I didn’t want to be on the farm because memories of me and Charlotte were everywhere: the main house, the barn, and the cottage. She’d ruined my childhood home for me. I should have been pissed about that too, but my heart was fond of the memories.

I’d never felt so conflicted. When I broke up with my girlfriend in college, it was easy. There were already fractures in our relationship. With the demands of my family, I couldn’t give her what she wanted. By the time I broke things off, no one’s feelings were hurt. It was a natural progression.

But this thing with Charlotte felt like severing an important part of my body. I didn’t want to feel pain, but I did. I didn’t want to think about her, but I couldn’t stop.

I’d avoided Wes’s calls and pretended I wasn’t home when he knocked on the door. It felt juvenile, but I didn’t want to talk to anyone.

I’d have to see everyone on Christmas, and that was soon enough. I volunteered to work third shift on Christmas Eve. In the morning, I came home and took a quick nap before heading over to the house for brunch. Daphne usually baked for us.

I could use something sweet with my coffee, especially after working all night. I felt groggy and out of sorts. It was becoming my new state of being.

I wanted to know how Charlotte was, where she was staying, and if she was safe. But she wasn’t mine to worry about anymore. It hurt more than anything that she hadn’t let me in. She didn’t trust me with what was going on in her life.

Around eleven, I walked into the house and straight to the kitchen where pastries were sitting on the island.

Izzy rolled her eyes. “Everyone’s falling in love.”

I snagged a pastry, her words twisting like a knife in my chest. “Speak for yourself. ”

Izzy giggled. “Teddy and Charlotte kissing in a tree.”

“None of that.” I picked her up, tickling her as I tossed her around.

“Stop. Stop,” Izzy shrieked.

“Uncle Teddy’s not kissing Charlotte,” Daphne chided.

Not anymore, he isn’t. But whose fault was that? I was starting to wonder.

Izzy’s eyes widened. “But I saw you?—”

I carried her out of the room.

“What was that about?” Daphne’s words drifted off as I dropped Izzy on the couch.

“You shouldn’t tease people. It’s not nice.” My voice was gruffer than usual.

Izzy sobered. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

I sat on the couch by her feet.

Izzy sat up. “But I saw you.”

I gave her a look, wondering which time I’d snuck a kiss with Charlotte on the farm that she’d been watching. “You don’t know what you saw.”

Izzy thought about that for a few seconds. “Do you love Charlotte?”

“No. Yes. I don’t know.” I ran a hand through my hair.

“That’s the question. Do you love her?” Wes had appeared in the room, but everyone else was talking and laughing in the kitchen.

I rested my elbows on my spread thighs. “I’m not talking about this with you.”

“I told you so,” Izzy sang as she skipped into the kitchen, probably to get more food.

Wes raised a brow as he rested a shoulder against the door jamb between the kitchen and the living room. “I talked to Charlotte.”

“How is she? Is she okay?” My blood ran cold at the idea of Rick Solomon finding her and hurting her again .

I couldn’t be there last time, and I wouldn’t be present if he showed up again. I wasn’t sure why that hurt so much. I’d chosen to remove myself from Charlotte’s life. She hadn’t trusted me, and that’s all that mattered.

Wes just considered me. “I think she’s felt better.”

“But physically, she’s okay? Rick didn’t show up after making bail?”

Wes pushed away from the door jam and sat in one of the upholstered chairs across from the couch. “Why don’t you ask her yourself?”

“She’s not mine anymore. She never was.” That hurt to admit out loud. Everything I thought I knew about her was wrong, and what I felt for her was based on that lie.

Wes tipped his head to the side. “Why do you say that?”

“It was based on a lie. She never told me about her ex stalking her, hurting her. I could have helped her if I’d known.” Now why did I say that? The crux of the problem was that she lied. I hated liars. And I thought I’d gotten good at spotting them. But apparently that same skill didn’t translate to personal relationships. Especially when I hadn’t been in one in a long time.

“Why didn’t she tell you about Rick?” Wes asked.

“She said she thought he’d go away. That he wouldn’t be an issue anymore.” I’d dealt with a lot of domestic violence victims who were embarrassed about the position they were in.

I never thought I’d be dating someone in a similar situation. “She was embarrassed that she was involved with someone like that.”

“That sounds reasonable, and I agree with you; she should have told you. At the very least, you could have protected her, advised her to get the order sooner. But I guess it comes down to one thing?—”

Wes talking about Charlotte was giving me hope, and that was a dangerous emotion. I hoped Mom wouldn’t die, and it didn’t do any good. Hope was useless. The only thing I could rely on was reality. When I couldn’t stand his smug silence any longer, I asked, “What’s that?”

“Do you love her?”

I sucked in a breath. “That doesn’t matter. I never really knew her at all. You can’t fall in love with someone who lies about who they are.”

“Did she lie about who she was?”

I racked my brain for evidence. I was the one who’d pursued her that night at the cottage. I was attracted to her sweetness, her joy. The fact was that she fascinated me.

I couldn’t get past the fact that she hadn’t told me about Rick. She wanted to believe that Rick was gone and wouldn’t bother her again. That part fit with what I knew of her. “I guess not. But how could I trust her again?”

Was I actually considering talking to Charlotte again?

“Why don’t you talk things out with her. If you love her, it’s worth a shot. You can’t just walk away.”

“I can, and I did.” It was easy. Right and wrong. Wes just couldn’t see things like I did.

He leaned forward on his thighs. “I know you compare everything to your job. But this is different. This is more in here.” He pressed a hand over his heart.

I wanted to growl and protest, but he might be right. My chest was an open wound since I’d walked away from Charlotte. I thought it was the pain of finding out the woman I loved had lied to me. But maybe it was because our relationship was over. I missed her.

“I want you to be honest with yourself. If you don’t love her, then keep things how they are. But if you do, don’t you think it’s worth a conversation? We’ve all had trouble in our relationships, but we didn’t walk away. We stayed and fought for them.”

“I’m not so sure there’s anything worth fighting for.”

Wes sighed. “If you love her, there is. ”

My jaw hurt; I was holding it so tight. “I loved who I thought she was.”

Wes’s forehead creased. “But you admitted she was the same person at her core. She didn’t lie about that.”

This is why I never talked about my feelings. They got twisted in someone else’s mouth. “I’ll think about it.”

He raised a brow. “You’ll think about talking to her?”

“Sure.” If it would get him off my back.

“That’s good because you wouldn’t want to let the love of your life go.”

“I never said that?—”

Wes gave me a look.

Jameson popped his head into the room. “Who wants to play football?”

“Sounds good to me,” I said as I rose. I wanted to pound something, and today, it was going to be my brothers. I didn’t care that it was supposed to be flag football.

When Izzy and Faith joined in, I had to keep things lighter than I wanted. Wes’s words made my blood pound in my veins. I was irritated, and I wasn’t sure why. He’d planted a seed in my head about Charlotte, one I wasn’t sure I wanted.

Had she messed up as badly as I assumed? Was there room for understanding and forgiveness? What she’d done was wrong. Did I owe her a conversation? This was an adult relationship after all.

By the time the game was over and we went inside to wash our hands for dinner, I’d decided to reach out to Charlotte. Maybe after the holidays. Once everything settled down.

Axel had already left to get on a plane to Florida.

I’d gone to the bathroom upstairs because the powder room was full. When I jogged down the steps, there was a knock on the door.

When I checked through the window, I saw Charlotte looking festive, wearing a red dress and holding some kind of heavy-looking dish covered in foil.

I opened the door. “What are you doing here?”

Charlotte flinched.

Wes appeared and pushed me out of the way. “Don’t be an ass,” he mumbled before greeting Charlotte with a smile. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Wes. Thanks for having me.” Charlotte stepped inside, and Wes grabbed the dish. I should have been the one helping her.

“Let it go, will ya?” Wes hissed to me as Charlotte headed toward the kitchen.

Irritation burned in my chest. I didn’t want to let it go. But I had to admit that Charlotte looked gorgeous in the dress.

Wes kept his voice low. “You can have her. You just have to apologize.”

“What do I have to apologize for?” I asked him, and he gave me a disgusted look.

I wasn’t experienced with relationships, but I was fairly sure she was the one who should be apologizing.

“For being a know-it-all, you’re pretty dense sometimes,” Wes ground out. “Besides, our sister married her brother. She’s family.”

I followed him into the kitchen, not liking how Charlotte was hugging everyone.

Since when had she become part of my family, and not just because Cole married Daphne? I had a feeling that my family was starting to like her more than me.

“Thanks for having me over.”

Cole put an arm around her shoulder. “You’re a part of this family too.”

That hurt. Would I have to continue to see her because of Daphne and Cole? If I was going to walk away, I needed a clean break .

Al held up a glass of champagne. “We’re celebrating the end to a successful season and another amazing year with family.”

Daphne handed out glasses.

“To the Calloways,” I added.

Everyone murmured, “To the Calloways,” and clinked glasses.

I’d survive this dinner, then go back to my empty house where I’d be alone on Christmas night. It was better that way.

But first I had to watch Charlotte sit next to Izzy and listen to her rattle on about school and sports. They laughed and joked, and I wanted to declare that Izzy was my niece, not hers. But I couldn’t. Cole had adopted her, and Charlotte had every right to be here too.

Charlotte deserved this. She was estranged from her parents at least until her father went to rehab, and I didn’t want her to be alone. Besides, if she was here, Rick couldn’t get to her. She was safe. That satisfied me on a soul-deep level.

I tried not to think too closely about that.

Somehow, I made it through dinner. The food tasted dry, but my gaze fixated on Charlotte. She seemed to be happy. She was talking and laughing. She must not be feeling any of the turmoil that I was.

After dinner, we cleaned up. I was quiet. I wasn’t sure how to react to Charlotte being present or what it meant for the future.

When she said her goodbyes, I wondered if I’d made her uncomfortable.

At the last second, I decided to follow her out.

Charlotte frowned at me when I opened the door. “What are you doing?”

“I’m following you. To make sure you’re safe.” I scanned the area, and not seeing anyone, I led the way to her car.

“That’s not necessary.”

“I think it is. ”

“You’re so stubborn,” Charlotte said when I reached her car door. I kept my gaze on the perimeter. Rick could pop up anywhere.

“I could say the same about you. You never told me about your stalker ex.”

Her frown deepened. “I apologized for that. I should have told you.”

“I appreciate that.” But I couldn’t let it go.

Her hand rested on my cheek, and I wanted to sink into her warmth. “I love you, Teddy.”

The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t get them out. Something was holding me back.

“But I know that you’ll never forgive me for not telling you.” Then she spun and got into her car.

“Be safe,” was all I could say as her eyes crinkled in disappointment.

I couldn’t be the man she wanted. I watched her drive away, her taillights getting dimmer until they disappeared altogether.

Wes appeared at my side. “Did you talk to her?”

“She told me she loved me, and she understood that I can’t forgive her,” I was pleased to report.

Wes raised a brow. “Is that true though?”

“Well, yeah. She did an unforgivable thing.” I was getting sick of his questions and know-it-all attitude.

“I guess it’s up to you to decide if you can overlook what she did. We all make mistakes sometimes. It’s how we grow as a person afterward that matters.”

With that parting shot, Wes disappeared inside, and I pondered his words before I joined my family.

I said goodbye next, driving home. Without Charlotte, everything seemed darker and less interesting.

That never mattered before, but as I walked through my empty house, I couldn’t help but think how it would be different if Charlotte lived here. The rooms brighter, my mood lighter, the future more exciting.

Had I screwed up?