Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

TEDDY

C harlotte gasped at my admission.

Wes frowned. “Didn’t realize you wanted to work less.”

I nodded. “Dad gave me shit about it. I work most days on the farm after working my shift.”

Wes nodded. “You do work more hours than the rest of us.”

“You have families now. It makes sense,” I said.

“Are you looking to settle down?” Jameson asked.

I felt Charlotte’s gaze on the side of my face, but we hadn’t discussed talking to my brothers about this tonight. We said we’d let them know on Christmas, and I wouldn’t make a unilateral change without telling her. “I think it’s time for a change. I need some downtime. I’m dealing with the house now too.”

“What’s going on with that?” Wes stretched his long legs out, crossing them at the ankles.

I liked spending time with my brothers, and I had to admit the barn had cleaned up nicely. The lights and the fire added to the cozy feel. I wondered if we should buy some couches and overstuffed chairs for customers to relax in front of the fire. Charlotte’s ideas were starting to rub off on me. “It should be done next week.”

“I bet you’ll be happy to move out of that tiny apartment. I can’t believe I lived there so long myself,” Jameson said.

He lived there until he met Claire. She was slightly older than him and a single mom. He felt the need to grow up and take control of his life. He ran into some hiccups on the way, but everything worked out in the end. Now he lived with Claire and her son, Owen.

“I miss having the space.” But I was going to miss Charlotte more. I resisted looking at her though. I was positive my brothers would see my feelings for her written on my face. We needed to talk to my family soon because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep it quiet.

I hadn’t spent any time at the apartment other than to grab a change of clothes. The cottage had kind of become our respite, the place we could hide from everything. I wondered if we’d survive in the real world when I went back to my house and Charlotte moved onto another job.

Did our relationship only work because we lived close to each other? I wanted to think she was special, but it was hard when I didn’t have much experience with relationships. Maybe it was born out of convenience.

“As nice as this is, I have to get back to Sutton. She hasn’t been feeling well lately.”

“I didn’t realize that,” Jameson said. “Is there anything we can do to help?”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine in a few days,” Wes said, meeting my gaze.

I was the only one who knew Sutton was pregnant and most likely suffering from morning sickness.

“When Claire gets sick, she insists on doing all the things she usually does. I think it’s a single mom thing. She’s so used to being independent; she can’t accept any help. I have to force her to relax and get some rest.”

“You’re good for her,” Wes said, and Jameson’s chest puffed out with pride.

There was a time when we treated Jameson more like an unruly younger brother. We didn’t think he was serious or responsible. But he’d surprised us because he was the most kindhearted and serious of all of us. Not only was he a firefighter, but he substitute taught at the middle school and coached a local football team.

Now, he was a family man. Always putting Claire and Owen above everything else, including himself and the farm.

Maybe it was time I learned from my brothers and claimed something for myself.

Wes and Jameson said their goodbyes, leaving us alone in the barn.

“We have to wait for the fire to die out. Wes and Jameson will close the gate on their way out, and Dad should be on his date for a couple more hours.”

Charlotte cocked her head. “What are you saying?”

“I think we should christen the barn. We have the ambiance?—”

Charlotte’s lips twitched.

“And the fire for a while longer. We might as well take advantage of it. Then every time you work the counter, you’ll remember that time I made love to you in front of the hearth.”

Charlotte’s expression softened. “That does sound nice.”

“Let me grab some blankets from my truck.” I always kept them there in case I wanted to watch the stars from the back or go to a drive-in movie theater with Izzy.

I rushed out, checking to ensure that Wes’s and Jameson’s trucks were gone. Dad hadn’t returned from his date either. We had time, but I’d have to hurry. If Dad’s date was a dud, he might return early and wonder why there were still lights on at the barn.

Dad didn’t know that Charlotte and I were a thing, and walking in on us making love wasn’t the way I wanted to let him know.

At the same time, the barn looked amazing, and Charlotte’s skin glowed in the light from the hearth and from her excitement in improving the farm. I was grumpy at first because I was upset about my dad dating again, but I could see that Charlotte wanted our farm to succeed. She truly believed in us and what we were trying to do.

I didn’t trust her at first, but she’d proved me wrong. She wanted the best for the farm and our family. I was ready to take our relationship to the next level, and I wanted to do that here in the barn.

I closed the barn door as tightly as I could and spread the blankets before the stone hearth. “I wish we had better wine or even champagne to celebrate.”

Charlotte kicked off her shoes and stepped onto the blanket in front of me. Her hand rested on my cheek. “This is perfect.”

She preferred things to be aesthetically pleasing whether it was the lighting or the paint, but she was telling me that she preferred me just how I was. She didn’t need any additions. I was enough.

I pressed my cheek into her hand, then kissed her palm.

Her eyes flashed with heat as she stepped into me, and I crushed my lips to hers. I meant to go slow, showing her how I felt instead of telling her. But I couldn’t hold back.

She was real. This barn. The light she brought to my life. My heart was opening wider than it ever had before. I didn’t think I could feel all these emotions for one person.

I didn’t think it was possible, especially after losing my mother. I was afraid to open myself up again. But everything inside me was telling me this was the right step .

Even if I moved home, we’d still be okay. Our relationship would evolve and change, but the base we’d built underneath would always remain. I had to believe that or I’d go crazy.

I lowered her to the floor, taking my time to remove her clothes. This barn would be open to the public soon enough. But tonight, it was ours.

It was cold outside, but here in front of the hearth, it was hot. When we were naked, I slid inside her, desperate to feel her wet heat. I interlaced my fingers with hers on either side of her head and moved in slow short thrusts.

Charlotte’s skin was flush from the heat and her desire. I’d never seen anyone more beautiful. I wanted to tell her how I really felt, but it wasn’t the right time. She wouldn’t believe me in the heat of the moment. So I’d show her what she meant to me.

When I freaked out over my dad dating, she was patient and understanding. When I was grumpy after a long day, she eased my stress. She was everything to me, and I hoped I was a safe place for her too.

I moved inside her, reveling in the feel of her walls clamping down on my cock, her whimpers that I swallowed with my mouth. I wanted this moment to stretch out forever. I wanted our own private barn where we could make love whenever we wanted. I wanted it all.

An image of brown-haired kids with blue eyes and sunny attitudes flitted through my head so fast I couldn’t keep a hold of it. I didn’t get a good look at them. But the feeling of that vision stayed with me as we crested together.

The world shattered in a million pieces around us. I gathered her to me, not caring about the mess or whether someone would walk in. For now, it was just us, and the life we were creating together.

We had plenty of time to worry about what came after the holidays. For now, Charlotte was mine, and I’d hold onto her with every fiber of my being.

Charlotte rested on her back, and I propped myself up on one elbow so I could see her face. I’d never get enough of seeing her like this, languid and sated.

“I think I love this barn.” Amusement danced in her eyes.

I think I was in love with her, but was it the right time to say it out loud? My heart thumped harder than it ever had. “What if I said I was in love with you?”

Charlotte sobered, her eyes searching my expression for any hint as to my meaning. “Teddy, are you saying?—”

“I’m saying I’m in love with you. I haven’t said that to anyone before, so I might have flubbed it.”

Her eyes shined with unshed tears. “You didn’t.”

“If you don’t love me, I understand. But I couldn’t let this moment go without telling you how I felt.” The emotion which had been bubbling up in my chest flowed through me, like the aftermath of an orgasm. I felt good.

“Teddy, hush.” Her hand was on my cheek again, and a tingle ran down my spine. “I love you too.”

I think my heart skipped a beat. “You do?”

She nodded. “So much.”

“Aren’t you worried it’s too soon?”

Charlotte smiled. “I’m not surprised you’re worried about it. That’s what you do. You’re used to worrying about worst-case scenarios, but sometimes you have to trust your heart.”

I rested my forehead on hers. “I love you.”

She held me to her, and we stayed like that for a long while. I was overcome with emotion. I hadn’t felt this much since before Mom died. The worst thing that could have happened to me did. And there was no escaping that pain. But I shoved it down as hard as I could, determined never to feel that way again.

And I was successful, mostly. But Charlotte threatened my solitary existence. Maybe that’s why I fought her so hard. But now that I’d let her in, I felt that love in my life again. And I wasn’t willing to let it go for anything.

If my family, or anyone else, had a problem with us I didn’t care. All that mattered was how I felt about her now.

“We’re going to be okay,” Charlotte said, but it sounded like she was reassuring herself.

I rolled so that she was on top of me. “Of course we are. It doesn’t matter where we live or what our jobs are. Our relationship is solid.” Or at least I liked to think so.

“Hmm. I like the sound of that.”

“I’m here for you, Charlotte. I want to be the person you come home to at the end of the night. Even if our addresses are vastly different a month from now. Nothing can keep us apart.” I hoped I wasn’t being naive. I didn’t have any experience with relationships, especially an adult one. Was it too soon to tell her I wanted to spend most of my free time with her?

I wasn’t asking her to move in with me. Not yet. I knew it was too soon for that. But I could see that in our future. We’d already dabbled in that lifestyle, and I loved it. But I’d give her the space she needed.

Charlotte was fiercely independent, and I wouldn’t do anything to detract from that. I’d never dim her light.

When we heard the rumble of a truck on the lane, we scrambled to get up, and throw on our clothes. We were so hurried, I put my shirt on backward at first, and Charlotte was tripping trying to pull on her jeans.

I threw the blankets in a ball and hid them behind the counter. I’d get them tomorrow. When the barn door creaked open, I was busy putting out the fire, and Charlotte was fiddling with something at the counter.

“You’re still here?” Dad asked.

“We wanted to get it ready tonight. What do you think?” Charlotte gestured wide with her hands.

Dad looked around. “This is great. ”

“We even got the fireplace working. I think your customers are going to love it.”

“They love everything you do, Charlotte. We’re lucky you wanted to work with us.”

“I’m happy too.” Charlotte smiled at me, and I hoped Dad didn’t realize that her hair was mussed from making love on the ground.

I should have been more proactive and cleaned up sooner, but for once, I wanted to revel in this moment. I wished we could have slept here tonight. I’d have to consider building a barn on my property just for this.

“Don’t work too hard.”

“How was your date?” Charlotte asked as he turned to leave.

“Eh. I don’t know if I’m ready for all of that yet.” Al waved us off.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I needed some time to get used to my father dating. I wasn’t ready. “It’s good you got out there again.”

Dad gave me a look. “I’ll be ready one day.”

“You deserve to be happy, Dad.” Just like he told me. I understood that now. When your loved ones were happy, you were too. And for so long we were just existing. My brothers and sisters realized this sooner, but maybe it wasn’t the right time for me. Not until Charlotte came into my life.

“I want the same for you, son.” Dad gave me a hug and then said, “I’m off to bed. Dating is exhausting.”

We chuckled as Dad waved and then disappeared through the door. He didn’t bother to close it, so the cold air wafted in.

I poked the fire looking for embers. “I think this is out. We can head home.”

Charlotte curled a hand around my elbow and smiled up at me. “I like the sound of that.”

I did too. Except I wished we were going home to my house. I could envision her cooking in my kitchen and painting all the walls yellow.

I thought I liked the design of my house, but I could see now it was a bachelor pad, and it could use her touch.

At the cottage, I did a security check, ensuring the doors were locked, then joined Charlotte in bed where she was already under the covers.

I ducked into the bathroom to brush my teeth, and by the time I returned, Charlotte was asleep. She was curled up on her side, her hand tucked under her cheek. I’d never seen anyone more beautiful. How did I get so lucky?

I was a grumpy bastard who was set in my ways. I never thought I deserved someone like Charlotte. But now that I had her, I wasn’t going to let her go.

I curled up behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist. I breathed in her scent, unable to remember a time I’d been happier.