Chapter 2

GREGORY WAS ready for some action on the field. He didn’t go in for many sports, mainly because of having the kids, but he wasn’t about to give up rugby if he could help it. He had discovered a love of the game just after high school, when he met a group of guys who played at the gym he went to. They’d talked him into giving rugby a try, and Gregory had never looked back. There was something raw and powerful about the game that really spoke to him.

“Stevie!” Gregory called, giving his teammate a near bone-breaking hug and getting one in return—one of the cool things about being part of a rugby team that formed super close bonds. These guys were his mates, and he knew he could rely on all of them.

“Gregory, what’s up?” Stevie smiled. “How’s fatherhood?” He grinned because he had just gotten married, and Stevie’s wife was already on him about having kids.

“How’s trying for fatherhood?” Gregory asked.

“Better than actually having one. I don’t know what the all-fired hurry is. Cherie and I got married a year ago, and she’s all about jumping my bones every night.” That infectious grin told Gregory that Stevie was more than happy about that part of the arrangement. Stevie was their outside center, while Gregory played inside center, at least most of the time. “Did you hear? Gillespie got transferred to New York, so we need to find us another hooker.”

Gregory felt himself deflating. “Jesus. We finally got the team up to full strength too.” He sure as hell hoped that Coach had some ideas or a ringer in his back pocket. He turned as a number of the other guys began arriving. They all greeted each other and began getting in gear. Well, that and gossiping like old ladies. Get fifteen guys together to play rugby, and half the time was spent catching up and sharing secrets. “What are we going to do for a hooker?”

Coach Rayston strode across the field with another man behind him. “I’m sure you all know about Gillespie. Hell, if I know this team, that information got around faster than the clap in a whorehouse. Now, it just so happens that a friend recommended someone who can fill in as our hooker. So, guys, this is Fillian O’Connell. He’s a member of the police force here in town, and he’s our new hooker. Say hello and get ready, because we’ve got to get ourselves in shape, and fast.”

The guys all shook hands with Fillian, but Gregory held back, unable to take his eyes off him. Fillian in uniform had been handsome, but in his rugby kit, he was stunning, especially the way his legs filled out his shorts and that chest of his stretched his T-shirt, exuding power. Gregory turned away to suppress the inclination to lick his lips.

“Gregory,” Fillian said when he approached after letting the other guys introduce themselves. “How are you doing? Did you get what you needed?”

“Thanks, yeah.”

“You know each other?” Coach asked.

“Fillian helped me the other day when I was on a job with a lunatic. He and his partners came in and saved the day.” Gregory hadn’t told the group about his ordeal. It wasn’t something he wanted talked about, and Lord knows with a story like that, they’d yammer like hens.

“Gregory and I grew up next door to each other,” Fillian added.

“Good. Because teamwork requires trust, and we need to build that, and fast.” Coach knew how to get them all to work, and he went right at it. Drills, tackling equipment—all of it was put to good use. Gregory kept himself in shape, but damn, after half an hour, he realized just how much he’d slacked off since last season. Fillian, on the other hand, seemed to have boundless energy and a talent for sidestepping other players.

“Take five and we’ll go back at it,” Coach called. He’d been standing with his notepad, writing constantly. Everyone headed for the cooler to chug down some cold water.

“You must have one hell of a workout routine,” Gregory told Fillian.

“The department has regular fitness tests.” He finished his water and tossed the bottle in the recycling. “I also believe that staying fit keeps me sharp, and if something does happen, it improves my chances of coming out the other side in one piece.”

“Why did you become a cop?” Gregory asked. He was curious about Fillian and wanted to know more, but he was hesitant. Gregory didn’t talk about himself a great deal, so it didn’t seem right to ask about others. At least that was how he usually felt. With Fillian, his curiosity was definitely getting the best of him.

“My granddad. He was sheriff here for a number of years in the seventies. He was a great man, at least that’s what I thought of him, and after he died, I decided to try to become the kind of officer that he was. My father wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor. His dream for me was to be more than what he or Granddad had been.”

“Does he support your decision?” Gregory asked, and Fillian nodded. That must be a nice feeling, and definitely something Gregory wished had occurred in his family. Sometimes he wondered what family he really had.

“Break’s over,” Coach called. “Let’s get back to work. Those Red and Blues aren’t going to take it easy on us because we decided to slack off.”

Fillian rolled his eyes. “What the hell?”

“He is the coach,” Gregory said. And he certainly had a way about him. Coach was good, and he had a real instinct for this game. “And he’s got the gift.” Coach loved rugby with everything he had, but an accident had left him with a left arm that shook and occasional spots in his vision, so he couldn’t play any longer. “Before his accident, he lived and breathed rugby.” They jogged out toward the field, where the other guys were gathering. “How did he find you, anyway?”

Fillian smiled. “I used to play trucks with him when we were kids. He’s my cousin. I guess it’s hard to think of someone you used to call Ray-Ray as having authority.” Fillian winked and joined the others as Gregory wondered if he had just passed some kind of test.

THE REST of practice was grueling and incredible. The team was really coming together, even after such a short amount of time. The amazing thing was how Fillian fit right in, as though they were a puzzle and he was the missing piece. Their play was better, and Fillian seemed to have a gift for timing that made everything better.

“Beers at Molly’s!” one of the guys called. Hands went up as they all headed for the cars.

Gregory stayed back, watching Fillian.

“You know, if you keep doing that, everyone is going to know you have the hots for him,” Stevie said.

Gregory rolled his eyes and shook his head. “I have the kids, and they take everything I’ve got.” He wasn’t willing to admit was that Fillian was one hell of a sight, but… damn.

“Don’t try to play that bullshit with me. I may not understand this whole gay thing you got going on or why you can’t see the hotness in women, even after they spend half the night throwing themselves at you all the damned time. But I do know that look.”

Gregory groaned. “Yeah? How? It’s not like Cherie followed you around panting.”

“I wooed her. How else was a guy with a mug like this going to ever catch a lady with as much grace and beauty as my wife?” He straightened up and grinned. Stevie was living proof that anything was possible. He and Cherie truly loved each other. Cherie was gorgeous and could have had any guy she wanted. Stevie was unremarkable in the looks department, but he went after Cherie in the most amazing way, showing her exactly how he felt with flowers and thoughtful attention. He truly wooed his way into her heart. “And it doesn’t hurt that I have hidden talents.” He grinned and turned away, heading for his car, as though he’d just had a mic-drop moment. And since Gregory wasn’t going to touch that comment with a ten-foot pole, he headed for his truck.

GREGORY COULDN’T help whistling as the new guy on the team pulled up next to his truck in a deep red Mustang GT convertible. “That’s some car.” It was a few years old but in sparkling condition, the saddle leather seats setting off the otherwise black interior.

“I love it.” Fillian got out and closed the door, leaving the top down. “It’s a great ride, and when the top’s down, it feels like I’m in California, ready to head to the beach to catch some waves, even if I’m in landlocked PA. I’ll take you for a ride sometime.”

“That would be sweet,” Gregory said as they went inside. The guys had already arrived, and the beer was flowing. Coach didn’t attend these sorts of things, even though he was always invited. Gregory had never asked why.

“We’re going to kick those Red and Blue Carpet bastards’ asses next week,” one of the guys said, which sent up a cheer.

“What will you have?” Gregory asked once he and Fillian said down near the group. “I like the Red Coat.”

“Sounds good,” Fillian agreed, and Gregory ordered the beers and some food, because after all that exercise, he needed something more than beer or else the alcohol would go right to his head, and he was well aware that he was drinking with a cop.

“So…,” Gregory began, unsure of how to start a conversation around the minefield of things he didn’t want to talk about.

“Yeah…,” Fillian said as he got the server’s attention. “Seems strange after all this time, and then to meet again the way we did.”

That was an understatement. “There are stranger ways, I suppose, but I can’t really think of any.” Gregory wasn’t interested in going over the details of how they met either time—in the house of horrors he grew up in or the one he’d been in the day before. Just the thought made him shiver. If he hadn’t needed the job so badly, he would never have set foot in the place at all. The condition of the house should have been a clue that the guy was off his rocker, but Gregory had hoped to just get in and get out again. Really, he hadn’t thought the guy would attack him or anything. He just wanted to get away from the mess and the cluttered chaos.

“Are you doing okay?” Fillian asked gently and, to Gregory’s relief, quietly.

The last thing Gregory wanted to do was recount the entire story to the rest of the team. He shrugged. “It is what it is, I guess.” He was grateful when the server brought their beer. It gave him something to look at rather than those intense blue eyes that seemed to see past his defenses. “I can’t change it, so….”

“Yeah, I get that. But you need to talk about it with someone.”

Gregory stopped himself from rolling his eyes. Yeah, Fillian had been one of the officers there to help him and had looked after him once he got away from that weird monster who now seemed to inhabit his dreams. Nightmares was a better word. He shivered, and Fillian leaned a little closer, concern in his eyes. At least Gregory hoped it was concern, because he couldn’t take pity.

“I suppose, but….” He wondered if Fillian meant he should talk to him. Gregory shook his head, having no intention of opening up to Fillian. He barely knew the guy. “I’ll figure it out.” He had the kids to take care of, and just paying the bills kept him busy enough. There was some money from Arthur’s insurance, but not a lot, and Gregory wanted that to stay intact so the kids could have a chance at college. He was determined to do his best for them.

“I’m here for you. And I know the two of us have a weird sort of history, but I’m here if you want to talk. We aren’t kids any longer.”

Gregory had to agree about their history. “I guess I have a hard time letting things go.”

“I suppose I can agree with that. We lived next to each other all that time, and yet….” They had nothing in common. Sure, they had been neighbors, but it wasn’t like they had been real friends. Gregory had always been so busy with piano lessons, sports, tennis, and soccer, as well as summer camp, that he’d never really had a lot of time with the neighborhood kids. When he was at home, everyone else already had their groups of friends, and he’d never felt like he could just join in, so he’d stayed home with his brother, who was kept equally busy. Dad worked all the time, and Mom was always consumed with her part-time jobs at the organizations she belonged to. At the time he hadn’t given it much thought, because things were the way they were, but now he realized he’d had a lonely time growing up.

“Yeah. You always kept to yourself,” Fillian said and then drank some beer. “You had all those toys, the pool, your clubs and everything, so I guess you didn’t need to be part of the neighborhood pack of kids.”

Gregory leaned over the table. “You all never asked me to join in.” That was the thing that still stung after all that time. Yeah, he was busy, but there had been times when he had wanted nothing more than to just be like the other kids—to have happy families the way they all seemed to, to get away from the simmering tension that seemed to permeate his family.

“You could have come out any time,” Fillian said. They blinked at each other, and Gregory was the first to roll his eyes. It had never occurred to him that the other kids thought he wasn’t interested in playing with them. He had thought they didn’t like him, so he’d stayed away. He tried not to think about how many times he’d been up in his room watching the other kids play chase, tag, and even baseball in the street and wished he could join in… when all he’d needed to do was go on out. “There wasn’t much organization to it. All of us had parents who were busy, so we just got games together and started playing. You were the one with the pool and all the toys who never invited any of us over.”

Gregory shrugged. “I guess I thought you didn’t like me, so….” God, it seemed they had all misread the situation.

Fillian shook his head. “None of us really knew you. I guess we all thought you had everything and you didn’t need any of us.” He finished his beer and drank from the glass of water the server had also brought.

Gregory swallowed hard. “Had everything? If you mean parents who fought all the time and to this day can barely stand to be in the same room with one another, then maybe. My mom always kept me busy so I wasn’t hanging around the house or so she didn’t have to be there. That way she could do whatever she wanted. My father worked all the time so he could make the money that my mother spent and so he didn’t have to be around her any more than necessary.” Gregory drank his beer and ordered another one.

“I didn’t know,” Fillian said. “I don’t think anyone on the block knew. Everyone thought you and your family had everything.”

“Dad made a lot of money. He still does. But he and my mother were miserable together. Looking back, I think they stayed together for me and my brother. It certainly wasn’t because of each other. All they did was fight. Mom and Dad divorced when I was seventeen.” He paused because there was no need to go into his family drama. God, no one needed to get dragged into that. “You and the rest of the kids always looked like you were having a fun time.”

“I was pretty good at making up games for us to play. We used to play hockey with yardsticks and an old softball. Other times we played chase and tag or hide and seek. I was always a good hider, and no one ever found me.” Fillian grinned. “I guess most of us made do with what we had.”

Gregory sighed. “And I had everything, but rarely had anyone to play with unless some of my cousins came over. And even then, they came over in the summer and swam in the pool while the mothers sat under the umbrella with a pitcher of frozen margaritas. My brother, Arthur, was always the one who watched over us those days. He was a good swimmer and worked as a lifeguard through college. So Mom and her friends did what they wanted while Arthur sort of stood guard as we played.”

“Still, that must have been a lot of fun. I mean, a pool on hot summer days. I would have loved to have been able to come swim.”

Gregory shook his head. “We got to swim, but we had to be quiet because Mom wanted to talk. Can you imagine being out at the pool with four other kids and you have to swim quietly? No laughter or jumping in the pool. If the games got too loud, Mom would tell us that it was nearly time to get out or something. Then she’d refill her glass and go back to talking.”

Fillian seemed shocked. “You have to be kidding me. I used to look out my bedroom window at your pool and wish I could swim in it, but it sounds like your mother sucked away all the fun.”

“She did.” Gregory shrugged. “But it was the way it was, and I couldn’t do much about it. Arthur did his best to try to run interference for me and would sometimes tell Mom that she could just go inside and that he’d watch everyone. He was a lifeguard by then, and once Mom had gone, then it felt like we could have fun, but we still couldn’t make too much noise or Mom would come out and make everyone go home.” He set down his glass. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Fillian said. “This is obviously something you needed to talk about.”

“Yeah. Gregory has lots of issues,” Stevie said as he plopped down into the chair next to Fillian. “The most important of which is, when are you going to figure out that you need to pass the ball instead of always trying to carry it down field?”

Gregory snorted. “I think you’re projecting on that one, mate.” He was grateful when his food arrived. “I was open three times, and you didn’t pass to me.”

Fillian rolled his eyes. “You all need to pass more. It’s how we can throw off the other team.” He sipped from his glass as some more of the guys gathered around and the conversation shifted to rugby and away from team gossip.

Gregory checked the time and ate his dinner once it arrived, finished his beer, and then paid his bill.

“Where are you going?”

“I have to get home. My neighbor is watching the kids, and I don’t want to take advantage of her good nature and kindness. After all, there’s still the entire season left.” He said good night to everyone and left, stepping out onto the sidewalk, wondering at what had to have been the weirdest stroll down memory hell he had ever had… even as he wished that things had been very different. More importantly, how did he keep their past from making their present weird? After all, they had to get through an entire rugby season as teammates.