Chapter 35

Giselle

When I got out onto the center of the rink, standing in the cold air and the bright lights, cheers from the stands tugged my attention over to where I saw the better part of my skating team, Jordan at the front elbowing ahead of Coach Bailey to wave at me, Ava and Sooyeon behind them with Ava looking like she couldn’t be less thrilled to be here, Matthew and Tan, and as strange a sight to see alongside them—my parents, sitting together, along with a couple family friends. My mother raised a hand waving, but my father just gave me that slight head nod my way. Of course he did.

And sitting next to them, looking like she was born to be there, Primrose put a hand to her chest, smiling sweetly across the rink at me and waving.

I smiled back. And the music started, the lights changing, and I settled into my posture, starting my routine.

Even if I couldn’t have remembered a single move in my routine, my body knew it all—my skates knew it all. The ice met me willingly, my skates carving long, dancing lines across the surface like a brush on a canvas, mixing with the lines left by the skaters before me. Every skater’s own individual story, formed out of a lifetime of hard work, dedication, and passion, coming to this moment and telling the story in those lines carved on the ice—and the world wanted me to add mine.

I felt the music flow through me, felt the crowds around me, and above all else, I felt Primrose’s eyes on me, and I found I wasn’t here anymore—back at the rink on campus, practicing my routine while Primrose watched at the sidelines, or maybe she’d be at the edges of the rink staying out of my way while she practiced gliding or would just stand there and watch entranced.

Guess I should have known. There was no faking the way she watched me skate. She hadn’t watched me like that in the beginning, just… won her over, I guess.

I mean, apparently she did have a thing for the taller, athletic types.

The music swelled, and I didn’t even really realize I was coming up on my consecutive axels at the height of the routine until I landed them, applause rising from the crowds. I chanced a glance up at Primrose, and that look in her eyes—like she was watching the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen—I wondered if she’d always keep looking at me like that when I skated.

A girl could dream.

I came to the end of it exhausted, breathing hard, a little sweaty, but I came to the sudden stop squarely in the middle of the rink in my ending posture just as the last chord filled the air, chest heaving from the exertion, and the stands erupted in applause.

I bowed, and I stayed there longer than usual, a little overwhelmed with it all—the continual cheering that went on longer than I was used to. I turned and bowed to the other direction, and then the other, and then the last, and I felt a dizzy rush as I pushed back towards the entrance, feeling like I was gliding on air instead of ice, and I barely stepped off the rink before I saw Primrose, coming down off the steps from the stands and rushing towards me.

“Primrose,” I started, but I didn’t get any further before she tackled me in a hug, throwing her arms around my neck. I stumbled—a little tired after coming off the ice and coming down from the adrenaline—and I staggered backwards out onto the ice. I moved automatically, catching Primrose and holding her up as I steadied myself, gliding backwards from the entrance, and I laughed, seeing the coordinator give us a good-natured smile.

“Sorry,” Primrose laughed, holding onto me. “I got too excited. I’m proud of you…”

I didn’t mind holding her like this in front of the world, honestly. I laughed, looking down at where I had her pressed up against me, and all I could think was that she really was the most beautiful person I’d ever known.

“You’re cute when you’re excited. Little puppy dog.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I’m a puppy now?”

“You’re perfect, is what you are.” And I didn’t really think about it, more just let it happen—I kissed her, bending down and meeting her lips with mine, and I was glad I didn’t think about it, because if I did, then it wouldn’t have happened, and the moment our lips connected, I knew it was the right thing to do, that it was the place I belonged. Primrose let out a muffled grunt of surprise against me, and even with my eyes closed I could feel hers were open, her whole posture rigid, before she held tighter onto me and softened into me with a small contented sound as I heard raucous cheers from the audience.

Ah—mostly from Jordan. I wasn’t kidding myself.

When I pulled back from the kiss, Primrose looked up at me with eyes sparkling, laughter dancing on her lips. “Romantic enough, ma’am?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it. I know you want a tall, strong person to sweep you off your feet.”

She laughed, eyes crinkling in the corners before she rested her head on my shoulder. “In the same way you want a redheaded girlfriend with freckles. Should we get off the ice before they get mad?”

I felt like the whole world could get mad at me right now and I wouldn’t even notice. I had Primrose, and that was more than enough.

∞∞∞

It was night by the time the competition ended, the streetlamps on over the sidewalk behind the building once we got out, and the spectators had gotten out before we did, which meant I got to step out to cheers from my skating team, who surrounded me with crushing hugs.

Maybe I should have been upset they barely said a word about my skating and more talked about Primrose. But somehow I wasn’t all that mad.

Coach clapped a hand on my shoulder, smiling warmly my way. “You did good.”

“Ah.” I scratched the back of my head. “Didn’t take the gold. Aren’t you supposed to be chewing me out?”

She laughed. “There’s more competitions in the future, Giselle. Silver’s still damn good. Besides, somehow I get the feeling you’re not even thinking about the medal.”

“Honestly, I’m a little embarrassed how transparent I am.”

“Transparency’s good, kid. Stick with it. Just don’t keep making out with your girlfriend on the competition rink. I don’t want to get in trouble with the organizers over it.”

I laughed nervously, looking away, feeling my face prickling. “Right. Uh, point taken. Consider it done.”

My mother interrupted, pushing in with a polite smile and giving me one of her delicate little fairy hugs. “Congratulations, Giselle.”

“Thanks for coming out, you two,” I said, and Dad, coming up behind her, sighed.

“I should probably be chagrined how I have to have Primrose take care of my calendar for me so I can attend…”

“Ah, relax,” I laughed. “What’d I tell you? Helps figure out up from down.”

“Does she want to come back with you for dinner at the house sometime?” Mom said, and I got a nervous rush, smiling at her.

“I’ll ask. She’s, uh—she’s got some stuff going on right now, so it probably wouldn’t be for a minute.”

Mom hung her head. “Of course you’re dating a workaholic. Something about women in the family…”

“Mom, please wait until you’re home to make barely veiled comments about Dad.”

It took another minute to extricate myself from the two of them, agreeing to the meeting upstate with Dad on Monday and feeling all right about it, before I broke off towards where Primrose was talking to Sooyeon, and she glanced over at the same moment I looked at her, the two of us locked in a gaze that drew me closer to her, a nervous, racing feeling in my gut.

“Hey there, star skater,” she said, tucking her hair back nervously behind one ear.

“Only the second biggest star here.”

“Oh my god, you still will not take a compliment.” She turned to Sooyeon. “Susu—you tell her something.”

Sooyeon gave me a sly smile. “Your girlfriend’s trying to compliment you, Skates. The correct thing to do is compliment her back.”

I put a hand in my pocket. “Well, with that kind of charm, I can see how you even won over the prickly cat.”

Sooyeon looked away. “Don’t know which cat you’re talking about, but I have always been more of a cat person.”

The prickly cat came as summoned—Ava pushed past Sooyeon towards me, although it was hard to recognize her wearing a button-up shirt and pants instead of the cat hoodie. “Could have at least won. The least you could do after the whole ordeal this was.”

Primrose bristled, elbowing her. “The whole ordeal being you giving her—I told you that was for Matthew, you sneaky little dick.”

Ava threw her hands up. “Hey, I think it worked. I told you I’d help you once shit hit the fan with you and Skates, but I wasn’t expecting you to be such an ungrateful snot about it.”

Primrose shot her a look. “Well, since that’s apparently so helpful, I’ll just tell Sooyeon all about what kinds of—”

“Ugh, Butterflies, don’t listen to her, she’s making shit up.” Ava spoke too quickly. Sooyeon ruffled her hair.

“Uh-huh. I know she is. But if you two can stop bickering, do we maybe want to talk about the situation? Because I don’t think Zach’s going to be happy about us all coming here to cheer for Giselle.”

I looked away. “I feel like I’m causing some issues in your group.”

“I’d say you are,” Ava said. Primrose shook her head.

“This is my situation. I’m the one who… well…” She scratched shyly at the back of her neck. “I’m the one who decided to walk away. I’m not dragging all of you with me.”

Sooyeon sighed, her hands in her pockets. Ava glared at Primrose. “You know, if they kick you out, they’ll stick someone else in your room, and as shitty a roommate as you’ve been, I don’t want to think about what it would be like if they put fucking… Tan in there or something.”

“Yun would probably be up for it,” Primrose said lightly. “You’d forget he’s there.”

“I wouldn’t sleep soundly with Panzer in the next room. Point is, it’s going to suck if you get kicked out.”

Primrose smiled sadly her way. “I know. And I’m sorry. But unless your proposal is fighting it out with Zachary, I don’t think there’s anything we can do.”

I folded my arms, a nervous sensation thrumming in my chest. “You know, far be it from me to weigh in as an outsider…”

Ava wrinkled her nose. “Oh, good, the girl whose life we just tried to screw over wants to offer her opinion. I bet this won’t be motivated.”

Primrose smiled sweetly at me. “When I told Ava I’d developed feelings for you, she admitted she’d taken more of a liking to you than she wanted to—”

“Rosie!” Ava smacked her on the arm. “Shut your mouth! Jesus Christ.”

Sooyeon put a hand across Ava’s back and on her shoulder, pulling her away from Primrose. “Let’s behave ourselves today, Kittycat. Giselle—I think you know that whatever is happening right now, you’re as much a part of it as we are.”

I let out a long, slow breath, relaxing my shoulders. “Well… it would seem to me that the problem is Zachary alone. If it’s everyone on one side and Zachary on the other…”

Primrose blinked fast. “Giselle… are you…”

Ava scowled. “You’ve been an honorary member for five minutes, and you’re already suggesting mutiny.”

I put my hands up. “Hey, I’m not saying you should, just that I’d mutiny in your situation. Do with that what you will, Kittycat.”

Primrose hugged herself as a wind swept in across the plaza, tossing strands of her hair across her face. “I’m not asking you all to throw out Zachary just for my sake.”

Sooyeon shook her head. “You of all people should know it’s bigger than just that, Prim. I heard about what you said—that Zachary is just bought out by the Kents to be the exact same thing as what we set out to fight against. I think the only thing we can do to uphold our mission as FIRE is to give him an ultimatum, or else we all end up in his footsteps.”

Primrose looked wildly between me and her, back towards Matthew and Tan, Ava, and me again, a hand to her chest. I took a step closer, and I settled a hand on her arm.

“You know how maybe I need to just let people give me a compliment sometimes?” I said. “I think it’s okay to just let people who care about you help you, too.”

Primrose took a long, shaky breath, her eyes closed, before she nodded. “I… I agree. I think if we want to be all the things we set out to be, this is what we have to do. I just didn’t think…”

“You thought you were alone,” I said. She didn’t say anything—ducked her head a little, a hand to her mouth.

“Ugh, well, this fucking sucks,” Ava said, turning away. “Count me out if they’re going to start getting mushy. Just give me the details once we have a plan, and don’t bother me until then. I’m going to the shitty bar to play pinball.”

“Without me?” Sooyeon said, turning and tagging along after her. “That’s awfully rude of you.”

“Eh… I guess you can come. I don’t really care.”

Primrose laughed, a thick sound, watching them go. “Oh my god… they really think we don’t all know what they’ve got going on.”

“Hey, sometimes no one is more clueless than ourselves.”

“Too true,” she said, looking back at me with eyes sparkling. “Um… actually, now that I think about it, I think Jordan ditched me here.”

I paused. “You came here with Jordan?”

“Yeah. We were at the rink together and she dragged me along here to make sure I’d be on time.”

Well, given that it was Jordan, ditching Primrose here with me was probably always the plan. I shook my head. “I’ve got my car here. Shall we?”

She ducked her head, flushing lightly. “If you wouldn’t mind… that would be amazing.”

I still didn’t feel like it was real on the whole walk over to my car, unlocking it and opening the door for Primrose, who stifled a little laugh before she got in. And apparently I wasn’t the only one who felt that way, because when I slid into the seat next to her, I shut the door, started the car, and we both sat there in a nervous silence idling until Primrose ducked her head and spoke in a low voice.

“So… Giselle.”

My heart was beating so fast I—I hadn’t even realized. I gave her a sidelong smile, trying to look cool and collected. “Yes?”

“What does this mean? For, uh… us. You and me.”

I turned to her, folding my hands on the center compartment. “This is you asking what are we?”

“Oh—god. You win, Giselle.” She put a hand over her face, looking away, but even like this, I could see the smile playing on her lips. “I’m not so cool anymore, huh?”

“I think you’re plenty cool,” I laughed. “Besides, I, uh… I like you being human. You’re more… real like this. Feels like it’s actually you, not something you have to put on.”

She glanced nervously back at me, the glow of the overhead light in the car glistening in her eyes. “Well… you know the truth about me. Everything. A lot more than I was ever prepared for, if you read the whole journal. Um… so… that’s me. And I like you, so… knowing all that… can we maybe try this thing? For real this time?”

“Mm.” I settled against the back of my seat, smiling wider at her. “I’ll have to know never to upset you. The level of psychological warfare you’re capable of, I’d never win an argument.”

“I’m a weapon of mass destruction,” she said with a dry smile.

“I can’t believe you were more freaked out about having feelings for a nepo baby than for a girl.”

“God, I really did write a lot in there, huh?” She looked away.

“I like you too, Primrose. Quite a lot. And I enjoy the days a lot more when you’re a part of them. So… for real this time… if you’d like to be my girlfriend. I’d be happy to spend all my time trying to be good enough to keep you.”

She gave me the most impossibly brilliant smile, and a playful shove on the shoulder. “You don’t have to try, Giselle. You already got me hooked in when I was trying really hard not to.”

“And I won’t pretend I don’t feel pretty good about myself for it.”

“Yeah, yeah. You just like redheads.”

“I like you for a lot more than that, sweetheart.” I cupped a hand over her jaw, and she closed her eyes with a small, contented sigh, leaning across the center console towards me. Kissing her was as natural as anything—my lips met hers, and we took our time this time, holding each other, my hand in her hair, her fingertips trailing lazily on the base of my neck, and I thought I’d never in my life been so lucky.

She was going to love Switzerland. She’d probably be better at German than I was by the time we got to go, and my father would never let me hear the end of it, but ah, hell, I didn’t mind.