Chapter 22

Iam pure anxiety as I sit at Vavi’s side, holding the baby in my arms. My sister’s been in and out of consciousness all night, never awake long enough to even give him a name. When his eyes are open—which is rare, between the sleeping and the crying—they look just like hers. He’s almost a copy of her, with our dark hair and light brown skin, but he doesn’t have the fat cheeks and pudgy body I’ve always seen babies have. He’s much too light, and far smaller than he should be. I feed him as often as possible, prepared with the nipple and milk when he wakes up again calling for his mother.

Dad and I take turns trying to sleep, as difficult as it is when the baby is sobbing his heart out and then falling eerily quiet, as if it takes too much energy for him to cry. Vavi’s bleeding has stopped, but still her breaths are shallow and labored.

The morning of the following day, the midwife reappears at the door. But she’s all alone.

“Where’s Jar’kel?” I ask, trying to keep my panic at bay in case there’s a reasonable explanation. He should be here with her. He was her escort.

Masha shakes her head. “The troll was taken away by the guards at the gates.” She seems unbothered by this as she steps inside with her basket of ingredients and attends to her patient.

I stand in the doorway, staring out into the snow, my heart racing and my limbs heavy with dread. Once they learn where he’s been, surely they’ll interrogate him for information. Will he reveal the location of the camp? Will he put my sister’s mate in danger to save himself?

No. I know his soul now, and what lies underneath his stiff, heavy armor. He wouldn’t do that to me or to her. Which means… he’s a deserter. He’ll be their captive until he gives them what they want, and they’ll use whatever means necessary to try to get it from him.

I imagine my Jar’kel strung up by his hands while they poke and prod him, testing how much pain he can take, pulling out his tusk by the root, and my body tenses up to fight. I will kill them if they touch a hair on him. I can’t let this happen.

“Simka?” Vavi asks in a breathy voice as I sprint for the bedroom door. “Where are you going?”

I pause briefly to take her hand and kiss her forehead. “I have to go,” I say. “To the camp. I need Gorren.”

She blinks at me. “What for? I’ll be all right soon.” Masha brings the baby over and settles him in her arms. Her face lights up in a way I’ve never seen before, and she gazes down at him with pure, pristine love. “So will Varn.”

I pause. “Varn?” I lean down briefly to take his tiny hand in mine, and squeeze his little fingers. “Good choice, sis.”

She smiles up at me as the baby starts to cry again. “Just wait for me to get some strength back, and we can go together.”

I shake my head rapidly. “I’m going now. I have to ask Gorren to help me get Jar’kel back.”

Vavi’s light dims. “He’s gone?”

I nod. “Taken into custody by the city guard. I don’t know what they’ll do to him to get what they want… but I’m not going to wait to find out.”

“After all Jar’kel has done for me, I know Gorren will help,” Vavi says, offering me a reassuring smile. “Be careful. I want you to come back to us. Jar’kel, too. He’s my family now as much as you are.”

“Thank you.” I turn around to find Dad standing in the doorway, his eyes just as red around the edges as mine from so little sleep.

“You’re going after that troll?” he asks, the disappointment obvious on his face.

“I’m sorry, Dad.” I hug him, and he hugs me back so tight I worry I might break in his arms. “I have to.”

He releases me and searches my eyes, as if trying to find out if I truly mean the words. Then, he grunts in understanding. Dad goes into his own room, and I hear shuffling. When he returns, he’s got a short sword in his hand inside a leather sheath. He wraps the belt around my waist, tightening it, and then gives me one more pat.

“Go get him,” he says. “And you’d better come back, grouchy old troll or not.”

I offer him what I can of a smile. “Of course.”

It will take much longer to reach the camp without Fio, but I know my legs are strong and will carry me there. I have no choice.

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