Chapter 10

Iawaken to a gentle creaking sound.

Wait. It’s not a door hinge, but something else, something throatier. When I peer out from under the furs, Jar’kel is passed out beside me, snoring.

I’ve never thought that someone’s snores could be appealing, almost sweet. For once his face is relaxed, his brows loose, his mouth no longer curled down in a scowl. He has far fewer wrinkles like this, and he appears ten years younger. I find myself reaching out to push some of his hair away from his face, but stop myself just before touching him. It would be a shame if he woke up now.

I like seeing him this way.

So I watch him, listening as the camp wakes up and orcs start moving about outside our tent. It isn’t until someone slides a breakfast tray into our tent that Jar’kel’s eyes fly open, and his pupils shrink to tiny points as he registers me.

“Simka.” The word falls from his lips in a breath, but he doesn’t move away like I expected. No, his red-orange eyes peer steadily into mine. I don’t even breathe, waiting for the moment he jumps from the bed to get on with his day, probably with some sharp retort.

“Good morning.” It’s the only thing I can think of to say. Of course I can’t tell him how comforting it was to sleep next to him, how happy and safe I felt waking up to his face.

Eventually he sighs, brow furrowing again like it always does. His typical irritation returns. “Do you feel all right?”

I squeeze the furs in my hands to keep them from reaching out to touch him. That’s all I want, to smooth my hands over the crinkled planes of his face and convince him to let his guard down.

“Yes.” Ever so slightly, I curl towards him. “I feel fine.”

His chest falls as he expels a breath. “Good. I… was worried about you last night.”

He was worried about me? I didn’t think he worried about anyone.

“I wouldn’t have guessed that by the way you left,” I say.

Jar’kel cringes.

“I guess you weren’t doing so well, either,” I amend. “It was a strange evening.”

“Yes, it was.”

We lie there, looking at each other for what feels like much too long, but also not long enough. I could stare into his eyes for an eternity, I think. There’s so much to see there, so many old injuries and disappointments to unravel.

“We should eat,” Jar’kel says, breaking the silence. When he sits up, he’s only wearing his undershirt, his coat hanging off a wood rack in the corner of the tent. I like how the tight shirt fits his bare body. I wonder what his chest would feel like under my hands if he touched me of his own volition, rather than as part of our ruse. If he touched me because he wanted to.

Jar’kel pads over to the food, and when I don’t leave the bed, he brings it back and sets it down next to me, dividing it into two portions.

While we’re eating, though, someone taps on the post holding up the tent flap. “What is it?” I call out, wondering if they’re already here to collect our tray. The flap flies open and Vavi barges inside.

“Oh.” She pauses, seeing that the two of us are still in bed. A wide smile spreads across her face. “Should I leave you?”

I want to say yes, but I can sense our window of unguarded time has closed. Jar’kel tenses up again, and I hurry off the bed to greet her.

“Come for a walk with me?” she asks, offering me her arm. I turn back to Jar’kel, but he’s already waving me away dismissively as he cleans up.

“Sure,” I say, wishing he’d given me a reason not to go.

We start off, Vavi leading us to the edge of the camp, where a path leads up into the mountains. We hike for a while in silence, until we stop abruptly at a pile of big rocks. There she gestures for me to sit.

“I didn’t hear anything coming from your tent last night,” she observes, arching an eyebrow.

Fuck. I forgot about that. What right does she have, anyway, to give a rat’s ass about my sex life?

“Jar’kel isn’t the loud type,” I say defensively. “And we were tired after all the partying.”

“Again?” Suspicion settles over her face. “You’re not lying to me, are you?”

I blanch. “Why would I lie to my own sister?” My feigned outrage is partially real. She’s the one keeping me prisoner here, forcing me into this stupid arrangement. I am angry with her.

“I don’t know.” Vavi runs a hand down her belly. “I just thought it would be nice for our kids to play together. To grow up together.”

She doesn’t seem to understand that there’s a countdown, a time limit, to whatever it is the orcs are doing here. I’m not the world’s best tracker—just the most determined one. Anyone more skilled will find them here eventually if they keep up their attacks on the mine.

“I want our kids to grow up together, too,” I say, and take her hand in mine. “Jar’kel and I are just not certain that’s what we want yet.” It feels plausible enough.

“Really?” Her eyebrows raise. “But the mating bond. As soon as they feel it, you know, that’s all they can think about. Popping out kids. Gorren wouldn’t stop fucking me until he was sure he’d succeeded.” She laughs. “Actually, he still hasn’t stopped.”

I shrug. “I guess Jar’kel is different.”

Rubbing her chin, she nods. “I’m not surprised. He’s older. But that means you should start sooner rather than later.”

I don’t like her implication that there’s a time limit—that Jar’kel is bound by how long he has left.

“Right,” I say. I’m getting cold, so I stand up and wrap my arms around myself. “Can we go back now?”

Vavi studies me like she’s trying to make sense of me. We always understood each other before, but now it feels as if there’s a gaping chasm between us.

“Sure.” She gets up and takes my hand, the way she did when we were girls. “Let’s go back so you can be with your troll again.”

* * *