25. Daddy Wilson

Baby Girl: What do you normally do for New Year’s?

Me: Usually I go to the party at your parents’ club or hang out with Leo and the guys.

Baby Girl: And this year?

Me: GIF of a sigh

Me: I had plans, but something came up.

Baby Girl: Oh. Avery invited me to Ground Zero with the team, but I hoped you might man up and invite me to spend the evening with you.

Me: You have a standing invitation to be where I am from now until the end of time.

Baby Girl: GIF of a girl saying awww and clutching her chest.

Me: So if you want to pass on the fun and see what the two of us can come up with, then I’d love to have you come by my place.

Baby Girl: Where you lead, I will follow, babe.

Me: I plan on leading you into the hot tub.

Baby Girl: Happy New Year to me!

Baby Girl: Wait, you’re not cooking, right?

Me: Why wouldn’t I? I’ve cooked meals for you for years.

Baby Girl: Yeah, the thing is…you’re bad at it.

Me: What?

Baby Girl: I’ll bring dinner. Don’t worry. You have plenty of other skills we can put to good use. Especially in the hot tub.

Me: You’re killing me, baby girl.