Chapter 36 Jesse

I decided to swing by my parents' house and have the face-to-face I'd been dreading. I thought it would be best to do it before I got dressed in my pirate costume, just because I wasn't sure if I could even take myself seriously in that. I wiped my palms on my jeans again so I could pretend like they weren't sweating. I thought about putting it off, but I wanted my brain to be clear of anxiety when I saw Sam tonight. Needs to be now .

I let myself in through the garage and entered to find my mom filling massive bowls with candy.

"Are you planning on getting an entire Spartan army as trick-or-treaters?"

"You know? You're not far off. I think we got every child in this town at our door last year. Apparently, several of our neighbors do full sized candy bars and the neighborhood has gotten a reputation."

"Well, feel free to send any leftovers to my apartment."

"If your dad doesn't get to them first, you can count on it." She finished with her last bag and walked over to give me a delayed hug. "Not that I'm not glad to see you, but what are you doing here? Do you want to stay and hand out candy? Your dad is going to grill, or—"

"No, but thank you. I just need to talk to Dad before I head home. Is he around?"

"Yep, he's in the back prepping his burgers. Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Things are good, actually. I just need to talk to him."

I kissed her on the head and made my way out to my parents' back deck to find my dad cleaning his grill with a Kiss The Grill Master apron on.

"Hey, Dad," I said, hoping I could do this quickly.

"Hey, son. What are you doing here? You want me to make you a burger?"

"Nah, I gotta head out here in a minute. I just wanted to talk to you about something."

He looked over at me and stopped his cleaning. I cleared my throat, which was apparently my accepted nervous tick now.

"I'll start by saying that this doesn't have to change very much about my involvement at Garrett's right now. But, uh, I got an offer to be the assistant director of youth sports for the new rec program over in Cloverdale. Coach Brown, he moved back, I don't know if you knew that?"

Now you're rambling. Wrap it up.

"Anyway, he's going to be the director. I can do a lot of it on my off days or late afternoons and evenings for now, so I don't want it to seem like I'm just abandoning my responsibilities at the store; it's just that this is the first time I've been excited about something since, well—"

My dad just held up his hand to stop me, and my heart slowly lowered into my stomach. I bit the inside of my cheek to try to direct my attention to that instead of the feeling of being a disappointment. Again. But this time at least it was a choice I made and not something that happened to me, and I could live with that.

"It's about time, son." My dad's hand ran over his face, and he took a ragged breath.

"Wait, what?"

I was so confused. Did he not want me at the store? I thought I'd been doing well.

"You have exceeded all my expectations taking over at Garrett's , but Jesse, that's not your life. It was my life, and I hate that I can't live it the way I wanted."

His words hit me somewhere deep, and I'd never considered that my dad was dealing with a lot of the same things I was after his heart attack took him out of commission from his normal life.

"I... I'm not sure what to say to that."

"That's all right. Just... this new job. It'll make you happy?"

"I think it will. Or it's at least a step in the right direction."

He just nodded for a moment.

"That's all I wanted. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry I've been pretty worthless when it comes to fathers this last year. It about killed me to see you in so much pain, and then my own heart actually did about kill me. But I'm going to do better."

Someone could have scraped my jaw off the deck at that point. In my wildest daydreams I could not have imagined this as the outcome to me getting a job offer.

"I... okay. Thanks for saying that, Dad."

"You know I'm not much of a hugger, but I'm gonna hug you anyway."

He shuffled over to me and pulled me into a tight hug. The last time I remembered him doing that was when I got signed to the Mud Hens.

"I'll get you more information about what hours I can work once I sit down with Coach Brown next week; I just wanted you to know now."

"Heather will be more than happy to take on whatever you need, and my doctor has cleared me to work in a ‘low-stress capacity,' so I'll probably be putting up sale signs, but at least I'll be back to some kind of normal. All that to say, whatever you need to do, we'll make it work."

I just nodded at him and made my way back inside, wondering if this had all been a dream and I'd wake up still needing to have this conversation.

"Oh, and Jesse?"

I turned back, my hand already on the sliding glass door. My dad took off his apron and held out his arms as if displaying a car I'd won on a game show. The confusion died in my throat when I realized he was wearing one of the long-sleeved ALL MY TOOL NEEDS ARE MET AT GARRETT'S shirts. I laughed as warmth spread through my chest.

"It looks good on you, Dad." He just nodded, happily putting his apron back on. I caught my mom up on my job offer before I left, and her reaction was much less surprising because she cried, but she's a crier.

On my way home, I decided that if that exchange was any kind of indication of how tonight was going to go, I was really looking forward to my tarot reading later. Also, I was really digging whatever these pirate pants were doing for me.

brOOMSTICKS was as busy as I'd ever seen it. The place was filled with witches, fairies, definitely a Wednesday Addams, and Sam, who could not have looked more like the matching counterpart to my costume if we'd tried to plan the most obnoxious couple outfit ever.

I adjusted the dark red fabric tied around my head and hung back a minute, watching her in her element. She was reading for a girl who looked about sixteen or so, and Sam's whole face was lit up and animated as she delivered information that she seemed very excited about. The girl kept nodding and smiling, practically bouncing in her chair. I was mostly ignorant of everything Sam did in terms of witchcraft and her fucking insane ‘intuitive' abilities or whatever she wanted to call them, but I knew that I was in awe of her.

When the girl stood up, finished with her reading, I was next. I saw Sam check a printout of what I assumed was her client list, and I watched as she started laughing. Her eyes started roaming the shop until they came to rest on me. I started toward her, not hating how she tugged her lip between her teeth and let her eyes roam over my costume.

"If you're done checking me out, I do actually have an appointment."

I liked that pink crept into her cheeks at my comment, but I was a complete hypocrite because I'd been memorizing how she looked in that dress for ten whole minutes before she saw me.

" So conceited," she muttered, but she didn't try to hide her smile.

I sat across from her and rested my chin in my hand.

"You look incredible, by the way. I should have led with that; I'm sorry. You were totally checking me out, but I liked it, so it's fine."

"Well, you don't look hideous, I guess. Captain. "

My smile grew wide at the flirty tone in her last word. I leaned in closer across her table. "You mean you'd let me carry you back to my ship to do unspeakable—"

"Do you have an off switch somewhere?" I laughed and sat back, letting her have more room to finish shuffling.

"Question?"

"How does my new job turn out?"