Chapter 26

Apprehension was building in Stella's chest as she turned onto Endeavour Road, her heart pumping hard. The grey sky overhead was doing a good job of reflecting her mood.

As soon as she arrived on the doorstep of The Cellar, Pim rushed to open the door for her.

‘Morning, Stella,' he said, his face a picture of concern. ‘Are you okay?'

‘Hi, Pim.' She smiled up at him. ‘Yes, I'm fine, thanks. How about you?'

‘Yeah, I'm okay.'

Inside, she glanced around to see the bar was empty but for Bill polishing the beer pumps in readiness for the lunchtime opening. She wondered if Johan de Groote was already there or if he'd keep them waiting. Part of her wouldn't be surprised if he didn't turn up at all, something about him told her he wouldn't be too eager to be confronted by his past.

‘Hi, Stella.' Bill looked up and gave her a sympathetic smile.

‘Hi, Bill. I'm really sorry to disturb your morning.'

‘Hey, no need to apologise. I just hope it all goes well for you.' He lay the polishing cloth on the bar. ‘Can I get you a coffee?'

‘Mm. That would be good, thanks.' Though she'd made a coffee at her apartment, she'd been too preoccupied to drink it. As for breakfast, she hadn't been able to face anything; her stomach had been in knots.

‘No problem. I'll bring it through to the back for you.' Bill's smile widened. ‘Flat white? Cappuccino? Macchiato?'

‘Flat white would be perfect, thanks.' She returned his smile.

‘Johan's already here,' Pim said, turning and making his way across the bar to the back room.

‘Oh, right.' Stella followed, their shoes tapping over the wooden floor.

A tidal wave of anxiety flooded her body at the mention of his name. She braced herself as she stepped into the room. The feelings he triggered were worse than any she'd experienced facing even the most high-profile of her cases with the fiercest of opponents.

Johan was standing looking out of the window, his tall, broad-shouldered stature filling the frame. He turned when they walked in, a mug of coffee in his hand. ‘Good morning, Stella,' he said softly, his eyes the same striking light blue as Pim's – and her own.

‘Good morning,' she said coolly, her jaw tightening.

‘Shall we sit down?' Pim gestured to the wooden table set with four matching chairs. It didn't escape Stella's notice how nervous he looked.

‘Sounds like a good idea.' Johan gave a condescending smile which sent a spike of irritation through her.

‘Here's your flat white, Stella.' Bill arrived in the room, handing her a rustic mug, the aroma of freshly ground coffee filling the air. ‘I'll leave you to it,' he said, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

‘Thanks, Bill,' she said, throwing him an appreciative smile.

‘So, who'd like to start?' Johan asked as he looked between Pim and Stella, what appeared to be a mocking smile on his face.

Ughh!He clearly felt he was in charge of proceedings, which instantly made her bristle. Doing all she could to suppress the negative emotions stampeding around her body, Stella said, ‘If it's okay with Pim, I think it should be you.'

Pim nodded. ‘I agree.'

‘I'd like to know everything, right back to when you were at university with my mother – who you may be relieved to know, won't be joining us here today.' Stella's assertive gaze didn't waver.

‘Okay. Everything, eh? Very well.' Johan drew in a slow breath. ‘So, as you know, I met your mother at university. We fell head-over-heels in love and the relationship moved super-fast. Before I knew what was happening, Alice was telling me she was pregnant.' His expression turned to one of disbelief. ‘It was a huge, huge shock for both of us. We were so young; too young. I was honest with her right from the start, told her I wasn't ready to be a father, but she was a headstrong young woman; wouldn't listen to reason – she never did, always had to do things her way. Despite my opinion, she insisted she wanted to keep the baby. I felt I had no choice in the matter, felt I was being forced into fatherhood.'

Forced into fatherhood?Despicable man! Stella shook her head, his cold, detached words felt like a knife to her heart.

‘I think you need to be very careful how you deal with this, Johan. After all, the baby Alice was pregnant with is right here with us.' Pim sent him a warning look.

Johan looked startled at being pulled up in such a way. ‘Oh, yes, of course. I apologise, I was simply explaining how I felt at the time; it wasn't personal.' His eyes flicked quickly at Stella.

Wow! What a piece of work! Stella struggled to believe it could be anything other than personal. ‘So we've established you didn't want to be a father, which is why, I assume, you took off,' she said calmly. ‘Where did you go?' She'd already decided the best way to deal with this man was to take a detached standpoint, treat the situation as though it was one of her cases. His cold-hearted comment had proved her right.

Johan went on to explain in a waffling, round-about way how he'd headed back to his home town of Harderwijk in Holland where he found work as an odd-job man. Stella and Pim listened, exchanging knowing looks from time-to-time. Finally, Johan arrived at the point where he met Pim's mother, Anouk, with whom he'd had a brief relationship. ‘Pim is the product of the few short months Anouk and I were together. She wanted a child, I didn't.' He gave another of his lazy shrugs. ‘She got her child, the relationship broke down soon after.'

‘"Her child",' Pim said, shaking his head.

Pushing down her feelings of repulsion, Stella said, ‘So, it would seem history repeated itself. Your girlfriend tells you she's pregnant with your baby, and you do a runner; the "child" in the case you've just mentioned being Pim.' Stella held him in a stony gaze. ‘Even you must be able to see there's a pattern forming.'

Johan laughed, scratching his head. ‘Well, I wouldn't describe it quite like that. It was different with Anouk. I stayed with her for a couple of weeks after the child, er, Pim was born, before I left.'

‘That's big of you. Still sounds like you did a runner to me. And I'm interested to know how you would actually describe it,' she said, his patronising tone grating on her like nails down a blackboard.

‘Yeah, I'd be keen to hear that too,' said Pim, sitting back in his chair and folding his arms across his broad chest.

A thought suddenly struck Stella, and before Johan could answer, she jumped in, ‘Can I just ask, can we expect any more Johan de Groote offspring to make an appearance?'

‘Oh… I… um, a former girlfriend of mine has a set of twins in Roussillon in France.' He was suddenly reluctant to make eye contact. ‘I … er… I believe I'm their father.'

‘Unbelievable!' Pim pushed his hands into his hair.

‘Wow!' Stella couldn't hide her incredulity. ‘You believe you're their father?'

He nodded sheepishly. ‘According to Sylvie, their mother, I am their father.'

Stella shook her head. ‘And how old are these twins?'

‘I think they'll be about eight or nine; something like that.'

‘"Something like that"?' Stella shot him a look of utter disdain.

‘Yes, I'm not sure exactly.'

‘And are they girls or boys?'

‘A girl and a boy.'

‘And is that it? That's all of us?' asked Pim, his tone stern.

‘I have another daughter back in the Netherlands; Katrijn – her mother and I grew close when I was doing some odd jobs on her house – but that's it. That's all of you.'

‘That's all of us.' Pim repeated his words, his face a picture of disbelief.

Johan's words tumbled around Stella's mind. She'd gone from being an only child, to suddenly having four half-siblings in an unbelievably short space of time. Something told her there was a chance there could be more, judging by the way she and Pim had had to drag this information out of him. She took a sip of her coffee, peering over her mug, working out how best to move forward with this situation.

Johan shuffled in his seat, looking decidedly shifty.

Was there anything about him that she'd inherited other than her physical appearance? she wondered. She sincerely hoped he hadn't passed on his appalling lack of conscience and deep-rooted selfish streak. He hadn't once said he was sorry for walking away from his children, for turning his back on his responsibility, for not caring what had happened to them. A thought hit her out of the blue. Had her reluctance to get involved in relationships passed to her from his genes? Her face paled at that, before sense kicked in, reminding her it was her mother's advice that was responsible for her keeping relationships at arm's length, and the reason was sitting right here in front of her; her father was the one with commitment issues, not her mum. Relief washed over her and she took another sip of coffee.

Setting the mug down, she turned to Pim who she noted was looking drawn, with no trace of his familiar ready smile. ‘Are you okay, Pim?'

He looked over at her and gave a weak smile. ‘Yeah, just a bit shocked, that's all. How about you?'

Despite the information Johan had, reluctantly, delivered, Stella found she felt decidedly robust, her lawyer's persona had served her well, providing her with some necessary bolstering. ‘I'm fine.' She smiled back at him.

‘You're a tough cookie, but I suppose I didn't expect anything less.' Johan gave a hollow laugh. ‘And I suppose no one is going to ask me how I'm feeling in all of this? After all, I'm the one who's sitting here, being interrogated by two people, being ganged up on. I've just taken it on the chin.'

Stella and Pim exchanged looks of disbelief. The memory that her mum had described her father as a selfish man who didn't care about anyone else's feelings, crept into her mind. ‘And how exactly are you feeling, Johan? Please do enlighten us, we're dying to know,' Stella said calmly, not bothering to hide the note of sarcasm in her voice.

Johan hung his head. ‘Well,' he gave a self-pitying sigh, ‘I'm not doing too good actually. About a month ago, I was diagnosed with a heart condition and prescribed medication. Just days after that, I learnt I was going to lose my home in Leiden. My landlord told me he was wanting to sell the apartment I was living in, so he served me my notice.' He pushed his floppy blond hair back with his hand. ‘To make matters worse, my health has meant I've been struggling to work which means I've been finding it virtually impossible to raise the funds for the deposit on a new flat. I haven't been able to keep up payments on my medical insurance so I'm also struggling to afford my medication, which I desperately need.' He looked forlornly from Stella to Pim. ‘I don't know what to do, things are feeling pretty hopeless for me. I've been crashing on friends' sofas; it's why I've ended up here in Micklewick Bay.'

If anyone else had imparted such news, her heart would have gone out to them and she'd have offered to help, but there was something about this man sitting before her that didn't evoke a single feeling of sympathy or affection. Her years of experience at the bar told her when things didn't add up, and something in her gut told her to be wary. Instead, he just looked pathetic and inordinately sorry for himself. Did that make her cold or hard? Stella caught Pim's eye, trying to read his expression, wondering if Johan's speech had evoked the same feelings in him as they had in her. Before she could give it any further thought, Pim spoke.

‘So how have you ended up in such a mess? Didn't you have any savings to help tide you over?'

‘Good point. I dare say you won't have been helping support the children you have dotted around all over the place, so your money won't have been going on that.' Stella reached for her mug again, sipping her coffee slowly, observing Johan's reaction over the rim.

He flinched at her words. ‘I don't know how it's happened, it just has. It doesn't help that rent is expensive in The Netherlands. And despite what you suggest, the women who have had my children refused to accept any money from me; they wanted to be independent, didn't want me to stick around. It was almost as if I'd served my purpose like some kind of champion stud.'

Stella and Pim shared a look of utter mortification.

What the…?This man had a seriously inflated opinion of himself. If his comment hadn't been so repellent, it would be hilarious!

‘Oh, don't worry, I understand how it happened; a tall, strong, good-looking guy is very appealing to some women, especially when their biological clock is ticking. Tick, tock, tick, tock. They see my genes as desirable. I fall for it every time. They use me for what they want, then when I've served my purpose, out I go. Bye, bye, Johan, we don't need you anymore.'

Is he for real?His arrogance knew no bounds. ‘Anyone would think you'd have learnt your lesson from the amount of times it's happened.' Stella wasn't giving him an inch.

‘Ah, but I hate to disappoint the women in my life. And like I said, I fall for it every time.'

Johan pushed up the sleeve of his grey and white striped linen shirt, revealing the same tattoo Pim had imprinted on his wrist. Johan caught Stella eyeing it with interest. ‘It's my initials and my family crest.'

Before she could reply, his mobile phone, which was face down on the table beside him, pinged. He picked it up and read the message quickly. ‘Okay, I have to go now.' He pushed himself up and turned to Stella. ‘It's been good to talk to you. Perhaps I could visit you at your apartment; I've heard it's very smart, I'd quite like to see it.'

Though his request surprised her, her expression remained impassive. ‘If we do meet again, I'd prefer to do it elsewhere,' she said matter-of-factly. The last thing she wanted was to have this man set foot in her apartment. He may be her biological father, but emotionally, he was nothing more than a stranger with an inflated opinion of himself, and one who most certainly wasn't going to slither his way into her home. It was transparently obvious that his reason for visiting was to serve his own needs, and nothing to do with the fact that he wanted to get to know her.

He pushed his hands into the pockets of his crumpled cotton trousers. ‘Okay.' He held her gaze, as if pushing her to change her mind, but she stood firm. ‘Right, well, I'll say goodbye for now. I hope to see you again soon.' He pulled a creased beige jacket from the back of his chair and pushed his arms into it, hovering a moment again as if waiting for her to change her mind. When she didn't he loped off, Pim following behind.

As soon as Johan had left the room, Stella breathed out a sigh of relief. She felt drained. Meeting her father should have been a monumental moment in her life. Instead it had felt surreal, the overriding emotions being those of disappointment and annoyance.

When Pim returned from seeing Johan out, he sat back down at the table and put his head in his hands. ‘That was exhausting.'

Stella's heart went out to him. ‘She reached across and touched his arm. ‘It was, but at least we've spoken to him now.'

‘For what good it did. I'm not so sure I feel any better for hearing all he had to say.'

Stella couldn't argue with that. ‘Amongst all of his bluster, there's one thing that I'm very glad to have found out, and it's that I have an awesome half-brother living in the same town as me.' A smile pushed its way over her face.

Pim looked up. ‘You really think that?'

‘Yeah, I really do.' Her smile grew wider. ‘Please tell me you feel as happy having a half-sister living here.' She laughed.

He smiled as he absorbed her words. ‘Yeah, I think it's actually pretty cool.' He paused a moment before saying, ‘Big sis.'

‘Little brother,' Stella quipped back, making them both chuckle. At six-feet-five, Pim was anything but little.

‘You guys okay?' Bill peered around the doorway. He looked relieved to hear them laughing.

‘We're fine, my love.' Pim beamed at his husband. ‘We were just saying how cool it is to have a sibling living close by.'

‘And a brother-in-law,' Stella added, smiling over at Bill and pushing aside the turmoil Johan had created, her heart feeling suddenly so much happier.

‘Oh, yes, of course,' he said, his face lighting up. ‘I hadn't thought about that. I have a brand-new sister-in-law. That is very cool.' He strode over to her and enveloped her in a warm hug.

Sitting in Johan's vacated seat, Bill said with a chuckle, ‘I know it's a little early, but you two look as though you could do with a stiff drink.'

‘It was pretty intense.' Pim nodded in agreement. ‘Though I think another caffeine hit will have to suffice rather than any of the hard stuff.'

‘Ooh, I totally agree,' Stella said with a laugh. ‘If I had a drink this early I'd be in danger of sliding off my chair and ending up in a heap on the floor, snoring loudly. It so wouldn't be a good look!'

‘You paint a wonderful picture, Stella.' Bill laughed as he pushed himself up from the table. ‘Coffee it is then. Another flat white?' He gave Stella an enquiring look.

‘Great, thanks, Bill.'

Moments later, he brought three steaming mugs of coffee through on a tray, setting them out on the table with a plate of cookies. Between them, Pim and Stella shared what had been said, Bill listening with interest, his eyes growing wide at times. It was agreed that the two half-siblings had much to catch up on, which both were keen to do. With that in mind, Pim and Stella arranged to meet up on Sunday morning – a quiet time for The Cellar – and maybe go for a walk if the weather was kind. ‘You guys need time to talk, just the two of you,' Bill said.

As Stella drained her mug, thoughts of her mum began filtering into her mind. She needed to speak to her as a priority. She may have declined the invitation to meet with Johan, but Stella knew she'd be anxious to hear what had been discussed. Stella was also worried that Johan might seek her out and fill her in on what had been said; she wanted to be the first to share it with her mum, not some man whom she had a sneaking suspicion would give some one-sided version of the conversation.

Stella couldn't deny, she was still smarting that she'd been left in the dark about her father for so many years, but she had to concede, her mother had been right about him. The impression he'd created was that he was a selfish, self-absorbed and conceited man who too easily absolved himself of anything he considered unpalatable. That he had several children scattered far and wide with whom he had no contact was evidence of that, as was the fact that not once during their conversation had he asked anything about Pim or her. He was clearly only interested in one person, and that was himself.

While the three were chatting away, an urgent rapping at the door caught their attention.

‘Who the heck could that be?' asked Bill, checking his watch before pushing his chair back.

‘I sincerely hope it's not Johan coming back to deliver more of his crap,' said Pim. ‘I've had about as much of that as I can take for one day.'

‘Same here,' said Stella, just as her mobile started ringing from her bag. She rummaged for it as Bill went to see who was knocking at the door. ‘Oh!' She was surprised to see the call was from her mum. She went to press the answer icon, frowning as she became aware of a familiar voice in conversation with Bill in the bar. It couldn't be, could it?