Chapter 21

With her clerk and the officer in the Dixon case contacted, Stella sat down at her desk and lifted the lid of her laptop. She was going to put all thoughts of the Dixon family out of her mind for now, she needed to clear her head to focus on other matters. Her stomach churned as she typed in the name she'd seen mentioned in the letter she'd taken from the back of her graduation photograph. She hesitated a moment, her hand hovering over the return key. Before she could change her mind, she tapped on it quickly, her eyes widening at the number of results it churned up.

After quickly scanning through the list, she was disappointed to find that, at first glance, none leapt out at her as she'd hoped they would. Her heart sank; this could take some time.

There were several men with the name Johan de Groote, most of them based in The Netherlands, though none seemed to fit the age group she was searching for, and none of them resembled any of the grainy images in the photographs she'd seen. But though her father was proving a difficult man to track down, Stella wasn't going to give up. She'd toyed with the idea of asking Pim about his father, wondering if he could be somehow related to hers, with Micklewick Bay apparently being a common factor between them, whatever that could be. But she decided against that; she'd rather keep what she'd learnt to herself for the moment. As for what she was going to say to her mother, she couldn't even begin to think about that right now. All Stella knew was that she wasn't looking forward to seeing her at The Cellar tomorrow night, she wasn't sure she'd be able to hide her feelings. She'd just have to remind herself that tomorrow night wasn't about her and her mum, and it wasn't about the mysterious, elusive Johan de Groote. It was about a family trying to raise funds to send their daughter to the States for some pioneering, life-saving treatment. That put things well and truly into perspective for Stella. She'd be sure to keep it in her mind for tomorrow night.

Confronting her mum was inevitable, but it had to be when there was just the two of them and definitely not when Rhys was around. It would probably be best done at Magnolia Gardens where Alice wouldn't feel so wrong-footed or ambushed as she might if Stella invited her here to her apartment to discuss it. It went without saying that she'd have to be very careful how she approached it, that it would be best when the shock didn't feel so raw with her, when the heat of her anger didn't burn so intensely. The last thing she wanted was to risk having a huge argument with her mum, it was bad enough she'd have to come clean about her snooping – though that would be a weight off her chest. One thing was for certain, however Stella tackled it, it wasn't going to be received well. Not after all these years of keeping it a secret.

Stella had had enough and decided she needed a break from trawling the internet and wasting hours looking for something she wasn't going to find. She told herself she'd be better off channelling her energy into her work, provided she could concentrate on it. So, she made a fresh coffee and pushed the, albeit scant, information about her father into a file and into the top drawer of her desk.

Almost two hours later, Stella was surprised to find she'd made decent inroads into a manslaughter brief she'd been sent by Newcastle CPS. In the midst of her work, she'd had a text from her mother, thanking her for signing for the delivery, but Stella hadn't had the stomach to reply. She'd have to soon, before her mum started wondering what was wrong. The last thing Stella needed was her mum coming round; the risk of her recent findings rushing out in an angry torrent was too high right now.

With a headache brewing at her temples, Stella flipped down the lid of her laptop and headed to the balcony where she took a much-needed lungful of fresh air.

‘Hi,' said a familiar voice, sending a ripple of excitement through her and chasing her tension away.

She turned to see Alex leaning on his balcony railings, a warm smile on his face, his gorgeous eyes squinting in the bright sunshine. Fred, who was sitting beside him, started wagging his tail as soon as he saw her. ‘Hi.' She couldn't help but return Alex's smile.

‘Had a good day?' he asked. Stella noted he had his phone in his hand; she thought she'd heard the sound of someone talking a few minutes ago.

‘Mixed.' She demonstrated, tipping her hand from side to side. ‘How about you?'

‘Not bad.' He nodded. ‘I've been dealing with a particularly challenging client, but I think I've finally come up with something he's happy with.'

‘That must feel good.'

‘Yeah, it does. He had to accept some things are just impossible and would never get past the planners.'

‘Well, I'm glad for your sake he did.'

‘Yeah, me too. Wasn't easy, I'm sure he's given me some grey hairs,' he said, laughing. ‘Anyway, you saved me from having to knock on your door. I don't suppose I could tempt you to join me at Oscar's Bistro? I've just been onto them, managed to get an early table. Thought, as you're not in court, you might be up for it.' His tone was hopeful.

Stella took a moment before she answered. Did she really fancy going out after the day she'd had? Actually, yes, she did. She fancied it very much. ‘I'd love that, thanks.'

‘Great!' He beamed at her. ‘The booking's for six o'clock. Is that doable for you?'

She glanced at her watch, it was already five thirty. ‘Yep, I'll go and get changed. Give me twenty minutes and I'll be ready.'

‘Cool, I'll give you a knock then.'

Stella shot back into her apartment, scooped her hair up on top of her head and ran into the shower. That done, she hurriedly wrapped a towel around her, quickly brushed her teeth and washed her face before applying a flick of mascara and eyeliner, finishing with a dusting of highlighter. After a spritz of perfume, she slipped on another of her linen dresses and was good to go. Just as she'd pushed her feet into her sandals, there was a knock at the door.

‘Hi,' she said, opening it and greeting Alex with a smile.

‘Wow!' He ran his gaze over her. ‘You look amazing.'

‘Thank you.' Her heart lifted. ‘You don't scrub up too badly yourself.' She smiled up at him.

Stella loved the ambience of Oscar's, it had a laid-back, easy air, the excellent food belying its casual atmosphere. They followed the manager who led them to a cosy table for two in the corner, the sound of their feet tapping over the wooden floor. Already, the bistro was heaving, lively chatter mingling with the playlist of traditional French music. The mouth-watering aroma of seafood filled the air. Stella felt the stress that had gripped her body for the afternoon slide away. Sitting them down, the manager handed them each one of the large menus. ‘Nikki will be with you shortly. Hope you have a lovely evening with us.' He smiled warmly.

Moments later, a fresh-faced young girl appeared before them. She was dressed in black trousers and a fitted white shirt, and had a basket of bread in her hand. ‘Hi there, I'm Nikki and I'm your waitress for the evening. I wondered if I could get you any drinks while you peruse the menu?' She flashed them a cheery smile as she set the bread down.

‘How about we go for a bottle of Pinot Grigio?' Alex asked, peering over his menu at Stella.

‘Sounds good to me.' She nodded.

‘Great. A bottle of the Italian Pinot Grigio, please, Nikki.' He smiled up at her.

‘Coming right up.' She beamed between the two of them. ‘And can I get you a carafe of water for the table?'

‘That would be nice, thanks,' said Stella.

With Nikki heading over to the bar, Alex asked, ‘So, I don't suppose you fancy elaborating on the sort of day you've had? You described it as "mixed" when I asked you earlier.' He helped himself to a chunk of bread and started spreading butter over it.

Stella sat back in her seat and puffed out her cheeks, wondering how she should answer that.

Before she had a chance, Alex glanced across at her, concern furrowing his brow. ‘That sigh doesn't bode well. I hope you're not finding my company boring already.' He grinned at her, making her heart flutter.

‘Not at all, I'm really glad to be here.' She smiled back. ‘It's been quite a day actually. Not at all what I expected.'

‘In a good way or a bad way?' He sat back, giving her his full attention.

‘Definitely a bit of both.'

‘Care to share any of it? I'm a good listener, I'd like to be able to help if I can.'

Before she could answer, Nikki returned with their bottle of wine in a metal cooler. Stella and Alex looked on as she poured them each a glass once Alex had tasted it and declared it delicious.

‘I'll be right back with your water. I can take your order then, if you're ready,' said Nikki.

True to her word, she returned, nodding her approval as both Stella and Alex ordered the hot smoked salmon salad starter. ‘Ooh, that's my favourite. The hot smoked salmon is to die for.'

For her main course, Stella opted for Oscar's legendary fish pie with sea herbs and a side of samphire and seared vegetables, while Alex plumped for a steak with chunky chips and salad.

Stella's stomach growled loudly, reminding her she'd had no lunch that day. She helped herself to a chunk of bread, telling herself it was best not to drink on an empty stomach.

With Nikki out of earshot, Alex asked, ‘Have you had a chance to think if you'd like to talk about your day? Maybe start with the good stuff?'

Stella chewed thoughtfully on her mouthful, wondering which part she could ideally describe as good. ‘Well…' she said, swallowing, ‘cutting a long and very messy story short, today I discovered who my father is; his name at least.'

Alex was about to take a sip of wine but paused, setting the glass down on the table instead. He didn't attempt to hide his shock. ‘Wow! That's major news. Are you happy about it?' The look in his eyes, revealed he'd sensed her uncertainty.

‘Confused might be a better word, I think.'

‘Right,' he said slowly.

She looked at him, holding his gaze. Did she really want to tell him she'd been snooping around her mum's house? She didn't want him to think badly of her, but it was going to be difficult to tell him the full story without sharing that piece of information. After a brief wrestle with her thoughts, she decided a slightly edited version would suffice. ‘I'd rather not say how I found out, but I discovered his name is Johan de Groote.' It felt rather strange saying his name out loud. ‘Anyway, it would appear he has a link to Micklewick Bay, and maybe even…' She paused a moment.

‘Maybe even?'

She heaved a sigh and lowered her voice. ‘Maybe even to Pim, who's joint-owner of The Cellar, but I'd be really grateful if you could please keep this to yourself; I haven't mentioned anything to Pim yet. I'm sure it'll come as much of a shock to him as it has to me.'

‘Course, my lips are sealed.' Alex nodded, his expression calm as he absorbed her news. ‘And you've really never had a clue about a connection before now?'

‘No.' She shook her head. ‘Not one. Had no reason to.'

‘So what kick-started it, if you don't mind me asking?'

Stella found she didn't mind him asking at all. In fact, it felt good to share it with him. She already knew from their chat yesterday he was easy to talk to, a good listener; didn't judge. Something in her gut told her she could trust him. She went on to explain how she'd noticed Pim's tattoo when she'd called round earlier that day, and how it had triggered a distant memory. She kept out the part where she'd gone snooping and taken the letter from her mum's, and instead merely said that it was Pim mentioning the name Johan de Groote which had led to her putting two-and-two together, and finally realising who her father was.

‘It's certainly quite a way to find out,' Alex said, taking a sip of his wine.

Stella gave a wry laugh. ‘Tell me about it. The name's never cropped up before, and it was the first time I'd spotted Pim's tattoo.' She paused. ‘The only problem is, my mum doesn't know I've discovered this yet, so I'd appreciate you keeping this to yourself too.' She didn't want to say how she was concerned it was going to cause a huge rift between them and how that thought absolutely terrified her. Part of her also felt bad about sharing this with someone she'd known for barely five minutes before speaking to her mum about it. It set her wondering if her mother had told her the truth when she'd denied telling Rhys anything about Stella's father. He's bound to have asked about him.

‘Don't worry, your secret's safe with me.' Alex gave her a sympathetic smile and reached across the table, taking her hand, weaving his fingers through hers. ‘This can't have been easy for you. I'd have understood if you hadn't wanted to come out tonight, you must be feeling a bit punch-drunk with it all. Though I have to admit, I'm impressed at how calm you seem, as if you're taking it in your stride. You're a strong woman, Stella.'

She smiled and gave a small laugh, enjoying the feeling of her hand in his. ‘Thanks, though I'm just managing it as I do my work-related issues. I've learnt to pack challenging situations up and put them away until I need to tackle them. My brain seems to do it without me having to think about it. Helps keep the unpalatable stuff out of my mind. The last thing I want is the grim details of the cases I deal with bothering me in my down time. Sounds heartless, but it keeps stress at bay.' It was also helping to keep her from dwelling on the letter she'd received today, that and telling herself it was just an idle threat, designed purely to intimidate.

‘I totally understand; no one could criticise you for that. In fact, I'm sure most people would envy that skill.'

‘Maybe. Some people think it makes me look cold and hard.'

‘I wouldn't worry what other people think.'

‘I tend not to,' she said with a laugh. ‘The exception being my mum and my close circle of friends.' Stella was surprised to find that she'd added Alex to that select group.

Just then, Nikki arrived with their starters. And, just as she'd described, they looked mouth-watering, beautifully garnished with an array of sea herbs and edible flowers. The chef here was clearly creative.

‘Mmm. Looks fantastic!' Alex said enthusiastically.

‘It so does,' agreed Stella, her mouth watering in anticipation.

‘Enjoy, guys!' Nikki said, walking away, her ponytail swishing from side to side.

‘Anyway, I think I've hogged enough of the conversation,' said Stella, dropping her napkin onto her lap and picking up her starter knife and fork. ‘Tell me about what other wonderful places you've worked on. I mean, you must have a pretty impressive portfolio if you were given the brief for the warehouse. I've heard the guy who originally bought it is a real stickler for detail and design.' She pushed her mouth into a smile and pushed thoughts of her mother – and her new-found father – out of her mind.

‘You're bang on the money, there. He is a real stickler, but has great vision too. He really cares about getting things right, using sustainable materials and keeping as much of the original features in buildings as possible. I'm working on a few other projects for him, not that I'm at liberty to say.'

‘Ooh, sounds intriguing. And I don't suppose you're allowed to say who he is either, are you? I gather he likes to foster an air of mystery around himself.'

Alex chuckled. ‘I'm not so sure that's the reason. And I couldn't tell you if I wanted to. I don't know his name, I just deal with his next-in-command.'

‘And is that okay? I mean, don't things get a bit lost in the process if you're having to use a go-between?'

‘On the contrary, it's very straightforward. I've got to know what he likes, and what he doesn't like. We've never had any problems in that regard. And from what I can gather, he's very well-respected by his staff; treats them well apparently.'

‘That's good to hear.'

The evening passed pleasantly, the bistro was buzzing with the staff busy tending their tables. Stella found herself relaxing despite the background hum of stress she hadn't quite managed to squeeze into the "box" as effectively as she usually did, but then again, the issues she'd been tackling today had been mostly of a personal nature, their impact potentially huge. As ever, Alex was easy company, making her laugh at his self-deprecating jokes and tales of Fred's mischievous ways. She'd never encountered a man like him, the boundaries she usually had up, keeping romance at bay, could very easily tumble away. She found herself wanting to get close to him, imagining how it would feel to melt into his arms. It was most un-Stella-like and right now, she didn't want to fight it. Instead, she wanted to embrace it, give herself up to these new, unfamiliar feelings, yet something still held her back. And she knew exactly what it was: her mum's warnings, not to let a man into her heart were never far away, particularly when there was someone new on the scene. Stella reached for her wine glass and took a sip, peering over at Alex as she did so.

Before she knew it, they were ordering dessert. Stella had opted for ice cream while Alex hadn't been able to resist the rice pudding with rhubarb puree and ginger shortbread crumb.

‘Oh, this is sublime, you've got to try some,' he said, offering her a spoonful.

He was right, the intense creaminess of the vanilla-infused rice pudding was cut through by the sharp tang of the rhubarb, the ginger crumb offering the perfect texture and kick of heat to finish. ‘Mmm.' She closed her eyes and savoured the mouthful. ‘Heaven.'

‘I chose best,' he said, grinning at her. The flickering light from the candle in the old wine bottle on the table cast a warm glow over his face. He seemed oblivious to how attractive he was, and the appreciative looks that were regularly directed his way.

‘You definitely did.' She couldn't help but grin back, her eyes falling to his mouth that looked irresistibly kissable.

They were sipping coffee when the bill arrived on a small white plate, Nikki setting it down on the table between them. Before Alex had a chance to think, Stella quickly reached for it. ‘This is on me.'

When he went to complain, she said, ‘That was the deal; you picked up the bill for our meal at the Jolly, so I said I'd get the next one, which is this. No arguments.'

‘But I invited you out.'

‘I don't care, doesn't mean to say I can't pay. You can get the next one.' She flashed him a cheeky smile, making him laugh.

‘It's a deal.'

Outside on the street, Alex slipped his arm over Stella's shoulders as they made their way to the top prom, having decided to head home the scenic way. Hearing footsteps bearing down on them, her heart suddenly upped its pace and she turned anxiously to see a tall youth wearing a black sweatshirt, the hood pulled up, obscuring his face. She gripped tightly onto Alex, inadvertently alerting him to her concern.

The youth loped by them, Stella breathing a sigh of relief.

‘You okay?' Alex asked, concern drawing his brows together.

She nodded, feeling silly for overreacting. ‘Yeah, just thought we'd better get out of the way of such a determined walk. Sounded like he was going to trample us.' She laughed hoping to make light of it, but she could see from his expression he wasn't buying it.

At eight thirty, the top prom was still teeming with people, the air balmy. A lone seagull was perched on the railings, letting vent to its feelings with a screeching cry. A moment later, it had taken flight before swooping on an unsuspecting man who was sitting on a bench looking out to sea while he tucked into a portion of fish and chips. The man sat in disbelief for several moments, looking at his empty lap where his fish and chips had been only seconds before, all those around him, including Stella and Alex, hooting with laughter.

The excitement over, the couple strode along hand-in-hand, Alex regaling her with tales of his surfing disasters. ‘I was seriously, seriously bad for ages. I got pretty close to giving up until one day it just seemed to click. I love it now, though I don't get as much time to put my surfboard to use as I'd like.'

‘You should make time, if you enjoy it,' she said.

‘True.' He smiled down at her, before pressing a kiss to the side of her head and pulling her close to him.

This feels good.

Soon, they were back at their apartment building, loitering on the landing between their doors.

‘Can I tempt you in for a drink?' Alex asked.

Much as the offer was tempting, Stella found herself saying, ‘Not tonight, thanks, Alex. It's been a really lovely evening but I'm suddenly feeling shattered. Think I'll get an early night.'

He nodded. ‘I totally understand. I dare say today will have been emotionally exhausting for you.' He reached out and squeezed her shoulders. ‘Can I ask though, is everything okay? It's just you seemed a bit edgy when we were walking back, checking over your shoulder all the time. There's nothing worrying you, is there?'

‘Oh, no. Not at all. I wasn't aware I was doing that.' She hadn't realised she'd been so obvious. ‘Sorry to have worried you.'

‘No need to apologise.' His face broke out into a smile. ‘But if you feel you need a finely tuned killing-machine to protect you, Fred's your man. Don't be fooled by his happy-go-lucky exterior, I can assure you it belies the highly trained protector beneath. He's not known as "The Assassin" for nothing.'

Stella fell into a fit of the giggles as she conjured up an image of Fred in his role as protector. ‘I'll be sure to keep that in mind.'

‘You do that.' Alex's expression turned serious. ‘You know where I am if you need to talk, or if there's anything causing you concern. You've got my mobile number, you can call me any time, day or night.' He stepped closer, closing the gap between them and took her face in his hands.

‘Thanks, Alex.' She gazed up into those deep-blue eyes, wondering if she'd been right to turn down his offer of a drink. In the next moment his lips were on hers, sending a whoosh of emotions shooting right through her. Butterflies swooped and dived inside her and her knees buckled. The intensity of his kiss literally took her breath away. By the time they pulled apart she half-expected to find herself in a molten puddle on the floor. Wow! This was a whole new experience for her.

‘Thanks for an awesome evening. I'll see you tomorrow.' He gave a lopsided smile as he headed for his door.

‘See you tomorrow,' she said, though her heart was screaming for him to come back, that she'd changed her mind and wanted to join him for that drink, and so much more.

It was unlike Stella not to give in to her urges, to resist the prospect of falling into bed with Alex – her usual mantra that "it's only sex" not seeming to fit her feelings for him. What she had with him – though she wasn't fooling herself, this was early days – felt so very different to her previous encounters, which were no more than dalliances. She shared something with Alex she'd never shared with anyone before; they had a connection. She'd already accepted that her feelings went way deeper than simply fancying him – which she did, like crazy. If she'd gone to bed with him tonight, which she was sure was where they were destined to end up, it would have felt no different to her usual dates, the ones where she'd had no emotional attachment. And she badly wanted it to be different with Alex, wanted to treat what was blossoming between them with care; nurture it. Though it scared her if she thought too much about it, she sensed Alex was going to be someone special in her life, if she'd let him. And that was the crucial thing, if she'd let him.

Stella woke with a start, sitting bolt upright, her heart hurling itself against her chest. She glanced around to see her bedroom was in darkness thanks to the thick curtains at her window. She lay still for a few moments, listening, but all she could hear was the sound of her pulse thudding in her ears. Reaching for her alarm clock on the bedside table she saw it was one fifty a.m. What could have woken her at this hour?

Easing the sheet back, she climbed out of bed and tiptoed across the floor in her silk nightdress, her steps muffled by the thick carpet. Opening the bedroom door a crack, she paused, listening hard, her breathing sounding noisy in the silence.

Hearing nothing untoward, she slipped through the door and into the hallway, inching towards the living area. A loud thud out on the balcony made her start and set her already racing heart galloping frantically.

Reasoning with herself that she lived two-storeys up and no one would be able to access her apartment from outside, she tiptoed over to the balcony window, peering through a gap in the curtains. It was impossible to see anything so, feeling bold, she flicked the switch for the outside lights and opened the curtains a little wider.

Relief washed over her as her eyes alighted on one of the outdoor seats that had blown over. ‘Oh, thank goodness,' she said, pressing her hand to her chest. She'd deal with it in the morning. On the other side of the road, a car flicked its lights on and slowly drove away. It sent a shiver running through her. If she wasn't mistaken, under the glow of the vintage streetlight, it looked like the same kind of vehicle that had been tailing her when she'd driven out to the moors. ‘It's just your imagination playing up,' she told herself before turning out the light and heading back to her bedroom, doing all she could to convince herself she was right.