Chapter 14

Inside her apartment, Stella leant against the door, waiting for her stampeding heart to slow down, wondering how a man could affect her in such a way. She closed her eyes and inhaled slowly in an attempt to steady her breathing. She was used to being in control of her emotions, used to being cool, calm and collected, but this? This was something completely new, and she wasn't sure she liked it.

And now she'd discovered Alex Bainbridge didn't just live in the same apartment building as her, but on the same floor and directly opposite? Lark would say it was the universe talking to her. Despite her misgivings, that thought made Stella laugh. She pressed her hand to her chest, there was definitely something talking to her, Stella very much doubted it was the universe; her rampaging hormones more like. She'd be sure not to let them get out of hand; she needed to stay focused on her career and not get distracted.

She headed to the kitchen and poured a long, cool glass of water. Had she really just invited Alex to join her and her friends at The Cellar? What had she been thinking? His presence would result in a load of ribbing from them, particularly Jasmine and Maggie. She could only imagine what they'd say. She took a sip of water, consoling herself with the knowledge that they at least didn't know what effect he was having on her insides, how her emotions were thrown into turmoil whenever he was near. Only she knew that. As far as her pals were concerned, Alex was just another man she was attracted to, and if they dated, their liaison would have the same finite lifespan of all the others that littered her dating history. She only hoped the sparks she felt flying between them weren't visible to anyone else.

‘Right,' she said out loud, setting the glass down on the granite worktop. ‘Time to tackle these boxes.'

Stella had made great in-roads with her unpacking by the time the intercom buzzer sounded. Slotting the last of the books into the bookcase, she headed over to it, surprised to see her mum's image on the screen. Though she'd sent a text earlier, saying how she'd taken the week off, Stella hadn't expected a visit from her mother quite so soon. But then again, Stella had a sneaking suspicion she knew the reason behind it.

‘Hi, Mum,' she said, smiling as she opened the door. She noted the pretty tea dress her mum was wearing, and how she was still radiating the same happy glow that had been evident the day before.

‘Hello, lovey.' Alice beamed up at her daughter, offering her cheek for Stella to kiss.

‘This is a treat. Can I get you a cup of coffee? I was just about to have one. We can drink it sitting out on the balcony, if you like?' As soon as the words were out, Stella wished she could take them back. What if Alex was out on his balcony? Wouldn't that be a bit embarrassing or awkward? Telling herself it didn't matter if he was, she headed towards the kitchen.

‘Mmm. A coffee would be great, thanks.' Alice set her handbag down on the table and glanced around her. ‘I love the atmosphere of this place. You were so right to snap it up when you did, it's a sound investment.' Her eyes landed on the stack of empty boxes alongside reams of bubble wrap and paper. ‘Mind, I don't think Andrea would be too chuffed at having all her handiwork undone.' She laughed jokingly.

Stella followed her gaze and smiled. ‘Don't worry, it looks worse than it is. That can all go to the recycling centre in one fell swoop. And, actually, there wasn't much for Andrea to do this morning with me having just moved in a week ago.' She set about frothing a jug of milk.

Her mum nodded. ‘Andrea said to tell you she's done some of your washing while she was here, by the way; just some undies. Said she thought it was such a lovely day, she might as well make a start on it and get it hung out in the garden.'

‘In the garden?' Stella frowned, popping a coffee capsule into the machine and selecting the lungo button; she quite fancied a large cup of coffee.

Raising her voice to be heard above the noise of the coffee machine, Alice said, ‘Yes, she mentioned that since there was no washing line, she grabbed a spare clothes airer from her van and hung the washing on that. Said the garden's a right little suntrap and it'd be dry in no time.'

‘Oh, right, okay.' Stella had always had her washing and ironing taken care of through Spick ‘n' Sparkle. As a rule, it was taken away in one of the company's laundry bags by Andrea on a Monday, and returned freshly laundered and pressed the next. She really didn't mind that Andrea had made a start on it here at the apartment. Stella always felt guilty that she paid her mum reduced rates for the cleaning and laundry services anyway, but she wasn't sure how she felt about having her expensive silk underwear hung outside. Wouldn't the sun bleach it? She hoped not, some of it cost a small fortune. Anyway, that was something to think about for later; she'd go and retrieve it after her mum had gone. Next Monday, she'd leave a tactfully worded note to Andrea saying that she'd prefer it if they could just revert back to their usual arrangement as far as her laundry was concerned. ‘There you go, Mum.' She handed her a cup of coffee.

‘Thanks, lovey.'

They'd just got themselves settled outside when her mum said, ‘Rhys thinks you're wonderful by the way. Says you're a chip off the old block.' Smiling, she looked over at Stella, her eyes shining happily.

Stella smiled back, her heart squeezing for her mum. ‘Lots of people say that, don't they? And I'm always proud to hear it.'

‘Thanks, lovey, that's kind.' Alice took a sip of her coffee, her expression thoughtful. She took a few moments before she spoke again. ‘So, what did you think of Rhys? Did you like him?' She turned to face Stella, meeting her eyes.

‘I did actually, he came across as a decent bloke and from what I could gather, he seemed genuine.'

‘Oh, he's most definitely a decent bloke and completely genuine,' Alice added quickly. ‘You know I'm not the sort to get taken in by anyone's flannel. You and I are the same in that regard. And you know better than anyone how wary I've been of having a relationship. There's no way I'd consider getting involved with anyone I didn't think was one hundred per cent genuine and had high moral standards. No way at all.'

‘I totally get that, Mum.' From her mother's almost defensive tone, Stella felt the need to take things gently.

‘I've honestly given it a lot of thought, which is why I waited as long as I did before I introduced you to him. I wanted to be certain, didn't want to rush things.'

‘I know you'll have thought long and hard about it, Mum, and it really is great to see you looking so happy.' She reached over and took her mum's hand, giving it a squeeze.

‘And you're really okay with me going on holiday with him?'

‘Of course I am! And anyway, it's not up to me.' Stella couldn't help but laugh at that. ‘I'm sure you'll have a fabulous time. Tuscany's a wonderful place. It'll do you good.'

Visibly relaxing, Alice breathed a sigh of relief and said, ‘Thank you. I'm really quite excited about it. Rhys has booked the flights.'

They sat in contemplative silence for a moment, the only sound the cries of the gulls overhead and the rumble of the traffic below. Stella's mind drifted to the conversation she'd had with Alex about family, in particular her father. She stole a look at her mum, watching as she sipped her coffee, a contented expression on her face. Maybe now would be a good time to ask a couple of the questions she'd been mulling around in her head for some time. Her curiosity had gained momentum ever since her mum had mentioned Rhys, her father occupying an increasing amount of her thoughts.

Conscious of not wanting her mum to feel she was being interrogated about her ex, Stella opted for a more subtle approach, hoping she'd be able to glean the odd scrap of information about him. With that in mind, she asked, ‘What was it that made you come to Micklewick Bay all those years ago? I mean, why pick here out of everywhere else you could've chosen? Did you know someone who lived here at the time? Do we have some kind of connection to the town?' Though Stella kept her tone casual, she observed her mum closely.

‘Well…' Alice took a slow sip of coffee, the pause instantly alerting Stella's suspicions. ‘It's such a long time ago, I can't really remember to be honest. And no, I didn't know anyone from the town at the time.' She gave a shrug, suddenly avoiding eye contact with her daughter. ‘I've always liked the seaside, so maybe that was it.' Her body language had switched from being open and happy, to closed and defensive. A familiar pose Stella had seen many times before, particularly when she'd been asking about her father.

‘Oh, right. You chose well then.'

‘Hmm.' Her mum's lips were pinched, her fingers clutching tightly onto her coffee cup.

Though Stella felt a prickle of guilt for making her mum uncomfortable, something made her determined to plough on. ‘And what about your parents – my grandparents – are you never tempted to get in touch with them?'

‘No,' Alice said firmly. ‘Definitely not. They made it very clear that they wanted nothing more to do with me so there'd be no point. They were very stubborn people, they'd never back down from a decision they'd made.'

Sounds familiar.

‘I get that.' Stella nodded, she could understand her mum's point of view. She couldn't even begin to imagine how much it must have hurt, or how scared it had made her mum feel when they'd reacted how they had. It would have taken some pretty cold-hearted person to turn their back on their eighteen-year-old daughter who'd just given birth, the father having walked out. Though she could never imagine being in that position with her mum, she had to concede, she could see why she was reluctant to resume contact with them. ‘But what about my father?' Tread carefully! ‘Whenever I ask about him, you clam up. Have you mentioned anything about him to Rhys?' Stella could have kicked herself at jumping in, but she'd been unable to stop herself.

A cloud fell over Alice's face, her mouth setting in a hard line. ‘No, I haven't told Rhys anything about him. Why would I need to? There's nothing to tell, as I've told you many times,' she said, a hint of irritation in her voice. ‘I really don't know why you're asking these questions all of a sudden. It's not as if he's going to make any difference to my relationship with Rhys.'

Her mum may have turned prickly, but Stella was undeterred. Didn't she have a right to know who her father was? And surely, wouldn't Rhys at least wonder where Stella's father fitted into the picture? Their relationship may have been brief, but it had produced a child. ‘Surely you can tell me his name? Tell me what he looked like,' Stella said imploringly. ‘Do I look like him? Is he where I get my height from?'

‘Please, Stella!' Alice shook her head and rolled her eyes, refusing to be pushed on the matter. She gave her daughter an imploring look.

Stella's hand flew to her mouth as an abhorrent thought came to her, bile burning in her stomach. ‘Oh my God, Mum, you weren't a victim of–'

‘Oh, for goodness' sake! Don't be ridiculous! Trust you and your lawyer's brain to go down that route! Of course I wasn't,' she said impatiently. ‘I was in a relationship, albeit for a short time, and your father is just someone I'd rather forget. That's all. As soon as he found out I was pregnant he wanted nothing more to do with me. I'll never forgive the fool for not hanging around so he could get the chance to get to know, or play a part in the life of the most wonderful little girl and the wonderful young woman you've become. He's not worth you wasting another second of your thoughts on him, Stella!' Her bottom lip wobbled and she swallowed down a sob. ‘I understand that you want to know who your father is, but you've got to trust me on this, lovey, it's best left alone.'

Stella's heart twisted. She rushed over, squatting down beside her mum's chair, taking her hand in hers. Surely there must be something more to the story to generate a reaction like this? ‘Oh, Mum, I'm so sorry, please don't cry. I didn't mean to upset you. I was just having a conversation with someone about families earlier and it piqued my curiosity again, that's all.'

‘It's okay, flower. It's me who should be sorry, I overreacted. It's just, whenever I think of what he's missed out on because of his selfishness, it makes me so angry.' She patted Stella's hand, tears clouding her eyes. ‘I'd hate for you to track him down and for him to reject you all over again. That would be too cruel and you're worth so much more than his pathetic, arrogant rejection. And I'd hate for his puffed-up ego to get some kind of kick out of you going to the trouble to find him.' She sniffed, swiping her tears away.

Talk of her father certainly roused some strong feelings in her mum. ‘But surely that's something for me to decide,' Stella said gently. ‘I'm a grown woman, not a little girl. I'm tough and I'm rational, and you know I'm not one for being emotional. I won't care if he doesn't want to know me, and I'd quite happily tell him that.'

‘Yes, my love, but I'll care. Very much. And I'll want to throttle the living daylights out of the silly old fool.'

‘That, I don't doubt.' They looked at one another and laughed. ‘And the first thing I'd want to do would be to tear a strip off him for leaving you the way he did. You were so young. There's no way he'd get away with that lightly.'

‘Like I said before, my love, he's not worth wasting your energy on.'

That's a classic cop-out response, Mother!

‘Right then,' Alice said, clapping her hand on her thigh, apparently drawing the conversation to a close. ‘I really need to be going. I'm interviewing a new candidate to add to the Spick ‘n' Sparkle team in half an hour. She comes very highly recommended, so I'd best get to the office. Don't want to create a bad impression.' She pushed herself up, her body language back to being assertive and confident.

‘Oh, right.' This was the closest Stella had ever got to her mum opening up about her father, and now, it would seem, the chance was trickling away.

‘Okay, one last attempt. Are you sure you won't give me his name?' She looked at her mother, imploringly. ‘Please, Mum. It would mean such a lot to me; give me some sort of closure, if you like.'

Alice threw her head back, exasperated. She huffed out an impatient breath. ‘Stella, we've been through this a hundred times. I don't even know where he is or what he's doing now, so how the heck would you manage to track him down?'

Had she conveniently forgotten about the small matter of the internet? Stella wondered.

‘And I'm absolutely positive no good would ever come of you knowing him. He's a selfish, self-centred man. If he wasn't, he'd have come looking for you years ago,' she said bitterly. ‘I was well aware of his many failings when I was young and seemingly in love with him, I just chose not to see it – bigger fool me. So I'm afraid it's a firm and final no, and I'm not prepared to discuss the matter further.' She set her coffee cup down on the kitchen worktop and headed for the door, scooping up her bag en route. Reaching the door, she turned back. ‘Oh, and I'll see you on Wednesday evening at The Cellar. Rhys and I have tickets for the auction. He bought them a while ago, thought it sounded fun,' she said, though there was no trace of humour in her voice. The door closed behind her with a firm click.

Her mother's revelation stopped Stella's thoughts in their tracks, her mind processing what she'd just heard. Wow! She was going to The Cellar with Rhys? She really must be serious about him if they were going public.

Stella sucked in a deep breath. It had been quite a day, from events at court, to her sparring session with Vaughan Elliott in the robing room, to the lovely time she'd had with Alex – it had been more than lovely, actually – not that she was keen to dwell on that. And now this. ‘Talk about extremes,' she said aloud.

Feeling suddenly restless, her mind full of such an odd mix of thoughts she was unable to settle on a single one to even make an attempt at processing it, she started to gather the cardboard boxes and packaging together. She'd take them to the recycling centre on the outskirts of town, get the place looking tidy.

As she worked, her mind kept running over the conversation she'd had with her mum. Much as she felt bad to have annoyed her so much by pushing, the lack of knowledge about her father was becoming increasingly frustrating. What reasons, beyond the ones she always gave whenever Stella confronted her about them, could her mum have for not wanting her to track him down? Couldn't she see how unreasonable she was being? Surely he couldn't be a serial killer or something equally unsavoury? And what was responsible for her mum's hesitation before giving her reason for moving to Micklewick Bay?

Whatever it was, Stella made the decision she was going to do all she could to find out.