Chapter 7

CHAPTERSEVEN

Baker sat across from Jodelle that evening in her house and mentally grinned. She’d called when she’d arrived home and asked if he wanted to come over for dinner. Baker wasn’t an idiot, he accepted her invitation in two-point-one seconds. It was obvious she was nervous when he’d arrived. He couldn’t figure out if it was because he said they were going to kiss or if it was something else.

When she’d gotten up the courage to ask him about fifteen minutes after he arrived if he was going to kiss her, he’d said, “Yes. But not when you’re so worked up about it. Relax, Tink.” His words hadn’t completely relieved the tension in the air, but at least she’d seemed to unwind a little.

Baker liked her small house. It wasn’t fancy, but she’d made it a home. Everywhere he looked there were pictures of her son. From baby pictures to one that had to have been taken not long before he was killed. He was wearing a suit and tie and was towering over Jodelle, his arm around her shoulders, and they were both laughing. It was beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.

But he loved that she hadn’t hidden her son away. He was as much a part of her life now as he was when he was alive.

Jodelle had baked a casserole and pulled it out after he’d arrived. Now they were sitting at her small table, eating.

They talked a bit about his visit with Theo, and Baker explained the formerly homeless man’s role in Lexie’s drama, and how she’d rented a studio apartment for him near the new location of Food For All in Barbers Point. He’d added that while the man now had a place to stay, he sometimes still liked to sleep on the streets. It was what he knew and what he was comfortable with.

“You respect him,” Jodelle said.

“Of course I do. He’s a good man.”

“There’s no ‘of course’ about it. Many people would, and probably do, look down on him because he sleeps on the street sometimes and has some sort of mental deficiency.”

“I’m not one of them,” Baker said firmly.

Jodelle smiled. “I’d love to meet him someday.”

“And he wants to meet you,” Baker told her.

“Cool.”

It was cool. Baker couldn’t help but be relieved that Jodelle didn’t even blink after hearing about his friendship with Theo. “This is amazing,” he praised as he shoveled another forkful of the casserole into his mouth.

“Thanks. This was Mana’s favorite meal.” Then she wrinkled her nose and said, “Sorry.”

“For what?” Baker asked.

“For constantly bringing him up.”

Baker put down his fork, leaned over and put his hand under Jodelle’s chin, and turned her face so he could see her eyes. “I’ve said this before, and I’ll keep saying it until you hear me. Don’t ever apologize for talking about Mana. He was part of your life, a wonderful part—and he still is. You don’t have to be sorry for bringing him up.”

“Sometimes people feel awkward when I do,” she told him honestly. “They think I should’ve moved on by now.”

“It’s only been five years,” Baker said gently. “And them feeling awkward is their issue, not yours.”

She rewarded him with a small smile. “I guess talking about him to the girls at lunch has made me think about him more than usual today. You know how he died?” Jodelle asked.

Baker took the chance to rub his thumb over the incredibly smooth skin of her cheek before dropping his hand. She had a few wrinkles in her face, but to him, they were badges of honor. Jodelle hadn’t lived an easy life, especially in the last five years, but the fact that she was still so kind said a lot about her resilience and strength. And he liked that a hell of a lot.

“Yeah. I did some research to spare you talking about the details,” Baker told her.

“That’s probably a good thing. I don’t mind talking about Mana, but not about that day,” Jodelle said.

“He was a hero,” Baker said gently.

“I know. And the only thing that makes me feel even a little bit better about what happened is that I know Mana would be proud of what he’d done. He’d prefer that he died, rather than that kid.”

“You know, that’s how I felt every time I went on a mission as a SEAL. That if my death could save even one person, it’d be worth it,” Baker said.

Jodelle lifted her gaze to meet his. “I’m glad you didn’t die,” she whispered.

It took everything Baker had not to push back his chair, pick up Jodelle, carry her to her bedroom and ravish her. He settled for saying, “Me too. If only to be here right this second, eating this fabulous meal, sitting next to the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

She blushed and dropped her gaze from his, concentrating on the plate in front of her. “You don’t have to flatter me.”

“I don’t flatter anyone,” he said in a tone that was probably a bit too hard for the conversation at hand. “I say shit like it is. You’re gorgeous, Jodelle.”

Her cheeks turned pink. “Baker, the last time I wore makeup was around nineteen ninety-nine. I’ve got too many wrinkles from being out in the sun so much. I’m more round than svelte, and my height leaves a lot to be desired.”

“And I’m a washed-up Navy SEAL with more wrinkles than good sense. The muscles I used to be so proud of are starting to sag, and I frown far more than I smile. People take one look at me and cross the street because they’re scared. We are more than our outer shells, Jodelle, but I am not blowin’ smoke up your ass when I say you’re beautiful. You think I want someone younger? Someone who takes a year to cake a bunch of shit on her face before she’ll step out of the house? Someone who refuses to spontaneously go for a swim because it’ll ruin their makeup? In case you’re confused, the answer to those questions is no.

“I want you. Not someone like you, but you, Tink. I like your curves, a hell of a lot. And your size is perfect. You fit against my body as if you were made for me…and we already know my thoughts on that. When I tell you that you’re gorgeous, I want you to believe me.”

“I…It’s hard to believe something you’ve never heard in your entire life,” Jodelle said after a minute.

“You telling me Kaimana never told his mom how pretty she was?” Baker asked skeptically.

Jodelle shrugged. “He was a kid.”

“Maybe. But he wasn’t stupid. I never met him, but from all that you’ve told me, I know that without a shadow of a doubt.”

“No, he wasn’t stupid,” Jodelle agreed.

“Are we really arguing about your beauty?” Baker asked under his breath as he shook his head.

Jodelle’s lips twitched.

“Guess that’s better than arguing about other, more stupid shit,” Baker said as he forked a large helping of the cheesy, meaty, Tater Tot casserole into his mouth. After he swallowed, he said, “We need to talk about what it is I do.”

That got Jodelle’s attention. She nodded. “Okay.”

“Not right now, after we eat. We’ll settle on your couch and have our talk. If you’re okay with what I tell you, maybe we’ll find a movie or show to watch and chill.”

Jodelle’s gaze met his head on. “If I’m okay with what you tell me?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“Is it bad?”

Baker shrugged. “Depends.”

When he didn’t elaborate, Jodelle asked, “On what?”

“On if you’re the kind of person who sees the world as black and white, or if you’re okay with gray.”

Jodelle studied him for an uncomfortably long moment. “All right,” she finally said, then turned back to her plate.

Baker wanted to ask her what that meant, but he was the one who said they’d talk after they ate. It didn’t take long to finish their meal and put the dishes in the dishwasher. When Jodelle turned to him and bit her bottom lip as if uncertain, Baker asked, “You comfortable?”

“Um…what?”

He nodded to her. “What do you usually wear to lounge around your house at night? I’m guessing it’s not tight shorts and a frilly blouse. As much as I love seeing your legs, Tink, I want you to be comfortable.”

“I wanted to look nice for our first date,” she admitted.

“This isn’t a date,” Baker corrected.

“It’s not? Funny, we had food, you want to hang out and watch a movie. Sounds like a date to me,” she sassed.

Baker chuckled. “Right, you have a point. But in my eyes, a date is when I take you out so I can show you off and make other men jealous. Then we drive out to a beach and sit and watch the sunset as we make out. I bring you home, ask if I can come inside, then we can’t keep our hands or mouths off each other and we end up in bed, where we make slow, sweet love all night long.”

“Um…wow,” Jodelle said as she shifted back and forth on her feet. “You sound like you’re quite the expert.”

“I’m not,” he countered. “You remember that I said I haven’t had sex in a decade, right? But when I think about taking you on a date, that’s what I envision.”

“Then what’s this?” she asked, gesturing her hands to indicate them and the house in general.

“Me getting to know my woman,” Baker said. “Making her comfortable in my presence without the pressure of sex. Talking about what I do so there are no secrets between us. Making sure we can proceed without any misunderstandings or surprises. Getting that first kiss out of the way, so she can tell her friends that her boyfriend isn’t a slouch in the kissing department and to prove that we’re more than compatible.”

Jodelle stared at him with wide eyes. It was cute as fuck, but Baker wanted to get what he needed to say out of the way, so they could move on to the more pleasurable parts of the evening…namely, him holding her while they snuggled on the couch. He didn’t even get weirded out about the fact he’d never, in his entire life, had the desire to fucking snuggle with a woman, and now he couldn’t think about anything he wanted more.

“Oh,” she said, and even that was fucking adorable.

“So, since this isn’t a date, and we’ve already covered that you don’t need to do a damn thing to impress me. I’m already impressed and think you’re beautiful. Go put on a pair of sweats or leggings and a T-shirt or something, then come back out here and we can find something to watch on TV and relax.”

Jodelle smiled. It should’ve relieved Baker…but instead, something about the expression made him tense up.

“Okay. I’ll go change into what I usually wear when I’m alone, puttering around my house at night.”

“Good.”

“For the record?” she said.

When she didn’t continue, Baker raised a brow. “Yeah?”

“I’m not scared of what you’re going to tell me. It’s obvious you’re nervous about it, and you being nervous reassures me that you don’t do what you do lightly, and that you care about what I’m gonna think. If you didn’t, you’d just blurt it out and tell me to deal with it. So…I’m ready to get this talk over too.”

With those parting words, she turned and headed for the hallway and her bedroom.

“Fuck,” Baker said under his breath as he palmed his cock and did his best to adjust. But there was no getting comfortable when he was as hard as he was. It had been a very long time since he’d dated, and it had never been like this. Baker had always been wound tight, worried about saying the wrong thing and pissing off his dates. It was nice to be with a woman who was older and didn’t read shit into every little thing he said.

And Jodelle was right, he was nervous about what she’d think of his work. It was a potential deal breaker. He wasn’t going to stop, and she’d have to be all right with it if they were going to have any kind of relationship. He lived in a gray world where right and wrong were often blurred. He did what he did for the good of his country, and for the people he cared about, but it wasn’t always legal. Jodelle would have to keep what he told her to herself. If she couldn’t, there wasn’t a chance in hell of a relationship working out. Soul mates or not.

And that was what had Baker on edge. Why he’d done his best to ignore his attraction to her. But that was no longer an option. After everything that had happened with his friends’ women, he was done playing it safe. He’d lay everything on the line tonight, and either Jodelle would accept him as he was, or she wouldn’t.

Baker had been so far inside his head that he didn’t realize Jodelle had re-entered the room. When she cleared her throat, he jerked his chin up—and stared at her in disbelief. “You’re fuckin’ kidding me, right?” he asked gruffly.

Jodelle giggled. “You said to get comfortable. To put on what I usually wear at night.”

“Fuck me,” Baker mumbled, already stalking toward her.

Jodelle had been smiling, but when she saw what had to be an intense look on his face, her grin slowly faded and she began to back away.

Smart, but it was too late. She was already in his sights.

Her back hit the wall and Baker immediately caged her in. He rested his forearm on the wall above her head and leaned in close. He lowered his head and buried his nose in the crook of her neck. She tilted her head to the side, giving him room, as her hands came up and gripped the shirt at his waist.

“Baker?” she asked.

“You smell delicious,” he murmured, and his warm breath against her skin made her shiver. “Sweet and irresistible.”

“Thanks,” she whispered.

“You really wear this to bed?” he asked.

“Yeah. I don’t like to be hot when I’m sleeping.”

Baker held onto his control by a thread. She wore a pair of thin boy shorts that didn’t hide any-fucking-thing, and a tank top that clung to her curves like a second skin. She was definitely doing her best to push him.

Baker lifted his head and let his gaze roam down her body. Her tits were magnificent, he’d always thought so, but seeing them molded by the tight tank made his mouth water. He could see her nipples harden right in front of his eyes as he stared at her. It was taking every ounce of control he’d learned as a SEAL to stay right where he was and not pull the material down so he could get his lips on her bare skin.

Forcing himself to look away from her nipples, he saw that she had a small pooch of a belly, but instead of being turned off, all he could think about was how soft she’d feel against his hardness.

Her thighs were thick, and once again, his thoughts turned to sex, how her legs were going to cradle him as they tightened around his head and shoulders when he went down on her. He couldn’t see her ass, since it was against the wall, but Baker had ogled it plenty in the past. He already knew it was as luscious as the rest of her. Jodelle’s feet were tiny, and her slender ankles didn’t look as if they could hold up all the deliciousness that was her body.

“You know you’re killing me, right?” he said after his eyes had made the journey back up her body.

“Just following directions,” she said with a smirk. “But if it makes you feel any better, those blankets on the back of the couch aren’t for decoration. I like to burrow under them while I’m watching TV.”

“Thank fuck for that,” Baker breathed, thinking he might just get through the night if he could cover her body with a blanket.

Jodelle laughed again. “If you really want me to, I can go find some sweats or something.”

“No.” The word escaped without Baker having to think about it.

She smiled lazily.

“You’re always gonna keep me on my toes, aren’t you?” he asked, leaning back down to inhale her sweet scent. Plumeria and Jodelle. There was nothing like it in the world.

“I wouldn’t want to be boring,” she told him.

“Never that. Come on, let’s get you settled under one of those blankets,” Baker said. He twined his fingers with hers and pulled her away from the wall and headed for her couch.

“Are you all right? You’re walking funny,” Jodelle said, the confusion easy to hear in her voice.

Baker looked at her in disbelief yet again. “Seriously?”

“Um…yeah?”

“Tink, I’m so hard it’s actually fuckin’ painful to walk,” he told her, gesturing to his dick with his head.

Her cheeks got so red, Baker couldn’t help but laugh.

“What did you expect, parading out here practically naked?”

“I’m not naked!” she protested immediately.

“Tink, that tank top might as well be painted on, and those shorts? They’re not hiding one damn thing from me.”

“I…well…” She sighed. “Okay, I’d hoped that after you told me whatever it is you’re all worked up about…maybe I could convince you to do more than watch a movie.”

Baker sat on the couch and pulled Jodelle down with him. She let out a small squeak in surprise as he hauled her onto his lap. He grabbed a fuzzy blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around them both. Then he settled into the corner of the extremely comfortable sofa, with one arm around Jodelle’s back and the other draped over her blanket-covered thighs.

“Guess I’m sitting here,” she said dryly. “Am I…hurting you?” she asked as she shifted in his lap.

“Want you near me so I can read your reaction when we talk,” Baker told her honestly. “And you sitting on my dick could never hurt me. Is it bothering you?”

“Um…no.”

“Good. Ignore it.”

She chuckled. “Not sure that’s possible, Baker.”

“It’ll go down…maybe,” he said. “You should know something about me.”

When he didn’t continue, she said, “What?”

“I’m stubborn. And old and set in my ways. And I’m old fashioned.”

A look of horror settled on Jodelle’s face. “Oh my God, please tell me you aren’t about to say you won’t have sex unless you’re married.”

Baker blinked in surprise, then threw his head back and laughed so hard, he had tears in his eyes. When he had himself somewhat under control, he looked back down at Jodelle, pleased to see she wasn’t upset with him for laughing. “Fuck no,” he said with a shake of his head. “But I’m also not the kind of man to jump into bed with someone just because I can. At my age, I want it to mean something. And with you, it’s gonna mean more than something, it’s gonna mean everything. I want us both to know without a doubt that when we make love, it’s because we’re in love.”

“Oh, okay…but…”

“But what?” he asked when she didn’t continue. “Be honest with me, Tink. You have been so far tonight, and I like that you don’t play games.”

“What if we don’t fall in love? What if we like each other a lot, and really, really want each other, but aren’t sure about the whole love thing?”

“Then we aren’t doing it,” he said.

Jodelle sighed. “That’s kind of crazy, Baker.”

“It’s not. Look, I’m fifty-two, you’re forty-eight. We aren’t getting any younger, but I don’t need to be with someone to be happy. I’ve been on my own for a while now, you have too. I can give myself orgasms, as can you. I’m not going to settle for a half-assed relationship, and I don’t want you to either. I like you, a hell of a lot, and yes, I can see myself falling in love with you, but I don’t like the thought of having sex just for the sake of sex. I want more. I want it all.”

Baker stared at Jodelle, praying this wasn’t the end of them before they even got started.

“I…You’re right.”

“I know.”

Jodelle rolled her eyes. “And kind of a pain in the ass.”

“Yup. I just think that sex between two people should be more than getting off. And I want to enjoy getting to know you before we act on our attraction. Trust me, it’ll make things that much better in the long run.”

“If you say so.”

“I do. But that doesn’t mean we can’t…play.”

Her eyes lit up.

“You like that,” Baker said confidently.

“Why wouldn’t I?” she asked. “I’m going out with the hottest former-SEAL hot-shot surfer the North Shore has ever seen.”

Baker chuckled. “Let’s not get crazy, Tink.”

“Whatever. So…let’s get this done so we can move on. What did you want to tell me?”

Baker wasn’t sure he was ready. But Jodelle was right. He needed to stop beating around the bush and get this done.

“You know I was a SEAL,” he started. When Jodelle nodded, he went on. “When I retired, I found that I was bored out of my skull…so I talked to my former commander and offered my assistance on information gathering before missions. He took me up on it.”

“And?” Jodelle asked when he stopped to gather his thoughts.

“And it turns out, I’m really good at finding information. Over the years, I’ve collected a lot of contacts, both in the States and outside of it. I have dirt on people who definitely don’t want that dirt being disclosed, so they’re willing to tell me what I want to know in exchange for my silence. And I’m not afraid to use the intel I have for that purpose. In return, I do favors for them too. Pass along shit I learn about things that might interest them. I live in a give-and-take world, a dark one that’s full of bad shit.”

Baker held his breath as Jodelle absorbed what he was telling her.

“So…you’re a contractor for the government?”

Snorting, Baker shrugged. “Yeah, something like that.”

“You find out information about bad guys, so that the good guys can go out and do their thing.”

“Pretty much.”

“Okay.”

Baker frowned. “Okay? Okay what?”

“Okay. You told me what you do for a living. Is that it?”

“I don’t think you understand, Tink. I’m not above blackmailing people to get info. I rub elbows with some pretty horrible men and women. I ignore the illegal and immoral shit they do in order to get the goods on others who are even worse.”

“Like the mob boss you met with to sort out Elodie’s situation?” Jodelle asked.

“Exactly.”

She nodded, but didn’t say anything else.

“I don’t think you’re getting this,” Baker said in frustration.

“No, I am,” Jodelle countered calmly. “I just don’t care.”

Baker stared at her in bewilderment.

“I’m not an idiot. I know how the world works. And to answer your earlier question…apparently I’m okay with gray. I’m not naïve either. Sometimes you have to get dirty in order to save others. Take child pornography, for instance. I know a lot of times the detectives who look into that shit have to ignore the people on the lower rungs of that disgusting ladder, let them get away in order to nab the guy higher in the food chain. It sucks, but in the long run, it’s the right thing to do. To take out the ring leaders, they have to let the little guys go.”

She raised a hand and wrapped it around the back of Baker’s neck, then leaned in. “I’ll tell you this, if I was ever kidnapped and held for ransom by some crazy mob guy, I’d have absolutely no problem whatsoever if you went to that guy’s brother or cousin or whoever, and made a deal in order to find me. I know that two wrongs shouldn’t make a right, but if you save my life in the process, they absolutely do.”

“You aren’t gonna be kidnapped,” Baker growled. He’d underestimated his Jodelle, and he wouldn’t do it again. He should’ve known she wouldn’t even blink at hearing about the shit he was involved in. Even if she didn’t know exactly what that shit was, she knew it was still shit, and she didn’t care.

“I know, I’m just saying,” she said a little petulantly.

“I’m serious. The shit I do doesn’t touch you. Not ever. I won’t involve you, I won’t talk about it, I won’t share.”

“Fine.”

“If someone even thinks about using you to try to get to me, I’ll fuckin’ destroy them.”

“I said okay, Baker.”

He stared at her, still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that she’d reduced what he did to being a “contractor.” Fucking hell. She was made for him—and he’d bend over backward to make her his.

“I’m gonna kiss you now,” he warned.

“It’s about time,” Jodelle said with a gleam in her eye.

“This is your one shot to end this,” Baker told her. “If you have any concerns or second thoughts about what we’re doing, say something now. Otherwise, I’m not letting you go.”

“Ever?”

He wanted to say no, not ever, but that would be a bit too controlling, even for him. But she didn’t give him a chance to answer her question.

“I accept you, Baker Rawlins, exactly as you are. You’re a good person, even though you just did your best to convince me otherwise. Are you perfect? No. But that’s okay because I’m not either. I say and do stupid stuff all the time. I have regrets, I think you know about what, but I’m trying not to let them paralyze me. I want to move forward, I want to be happy again. And in the last week, I’ve been happier than I’ve been in five years. I’m actually glad you have the kind of connections you do. Yes, they can be dangerous, but at the same time, it’s comforting to know that if something happens—to me, to you, to your friends, to their women, to some SEAL team overseas doing their damnedest to keep us all safe—you can call on those connections to help.”

And with that, Baker was done warning her. He cupped the back of her head, his other hand gripping her waist as he leaned in.

Jodelle met him halfway.

Their lips touched, and there was nothing tentative or gentle about their first kiss. Baker closed his eyes and inhaled as he devoured her. Jodelle didn’t sit passively in his arms either. Her hands gripped his biceps and she dug her nails into his skin as he kissed her as if his life depended on it.

Their tongues dueled as they learned the taste and feel of one another. Baker swore his toes fucking curled. It was ridiculous, but he knew without a doubt that this would be the last woman he ever kissed.

He lifted his head, pleased as fuck when Jodelle whimpered and did her best to keep the connection. He waited until her eyes opened and she was looking at him before he said, “My soul’s been waiting to find yours for over five decades. Didn’t fully trust that I had until two seconds ago.”

“Baker,” she whispered, but he didn’t give her a chance to say anything more. He dropped his head again, and this time did his best to give her gentle instead of out-of-control passion.

How long they sat on her couch kissing, Baker couldn’t say. It could’ve been a minute or an hour, since time seemed to stand still. All he knew was that he was lost in the touch and feel of her. He memorized the little noises she made in the back of her throat. Took note of how she liked it when he nipped her lower lip, then soothed the small hurt with his tongue. How she shivered in delight when he nibbled her ear and arched against him when he sucked on the tiny bit of flesh.

Kissing Jodelle was more satisfying than actual sex with other women had been. He could literally kiss the woman in his arms all night and be completely content. But when Jodelle’s hands started wandering under his shirt, Baker knew they had to stop.

Reluctantly, he pulled his lips from hers once more. He stared down at her, memorizing the way her lips were swollen from his kisses and the dreamy look in her eyes. He’d shifted at some point so they were lying on the couch, Jodelle under him, Baker caging her in. Even lost in pleasure, he’d known how much smaller she was than him and hadn’t crushed her with his body weight. His cock was as hard as steel and impossible to hide, pressing against her inner thigh. The only thing keeping him from pushing inside her body was the small scrap of material between the legs of her boy shorts and his jeans.

“Um…wow,” she said as she stared up at him.

“Yeah.”

“I can honestly say that I’m not gonna have any problem letting the girls know that my man can kiss.”

Baker barked out a laugh. Then he abruptly sat upright, taking Jodelle with him. He settled back into the corner of the couch, got Jodelle situated again on his lap, and wrapped the blanket around them once more. Then he reached over and picked up the remote control sitting on the table next to the couch.

“Anything you want to watch?” he asked.

Jodelle stared at him for a beat, then shook her head as she smiled. “Figures I’d hook up with the one man who actually backs up his words with action. We’re really gonna sit here and watch TV?”

“Yup.”

She sighed, then snuggled into him, scrunching down until she could rest her head on his shoulder. “Okay, but don’t blame me if your legs fall asleep.”

There wasn’t a chance in hell of that happening, so Baker simply grunted in response.

“And I don’t care what we watch. As long as I can do it here in your lap, I’m happy.”

Baker had a feeling that was a completely accurate statement.

“Okay, Tink. I’ll find something.”

“Baker?”

“Yeah?”

“I like having you here. And as much as I hate to admit it…I’m glad the pressure of sex is off the table for now. Believe it or not, my bold move tonight with coming out here in my pajamas…I’m not sure I’m ready to go further yet.”

“I know,” Baker said. And he did. His Jodelle might put on a good act of being confident in her sexuality, but the fact that she had no idea how pretty she was belied that. He had no problem going slow. She was worth the effort and time.

Jodelle fell asleep within twenty minutes of the football game he’d put on. Baker sat on her couch with his arms around her and wouldn’t have been able to say who won the game if his life depended on it. All his concentration was on Jodelle. The way she breathed, shifted in her sleep, and twitched her nose when the crowd on the television got too loud. He memorized every little thing, until he knew she was fully imprinted on his mind and heart.

When the game finally ended, Baker stood with Jodelle in his arms. She stirred.

“What time is it?”

“Late,” he told her as he walked toward her room. He leaned over and gently placed her on the covers. “Scoot in,” he ordered.

Still half asleep, she did as requested, allowing Baker to pull the sheet and blanket up and over her. Then he went into the other room, found her phone, and brought it back with him. He put it on the table next to her bed.

“You need to get up in the morning for anything?”

“I have some work I need to get done, but I usually try to sleep in on Sunday.”

“Sounds good. I have a feeling you work too hard.”

“On Monday, I was gonna go to the beach,” she said. “I want to see if Ben shows up and if I can get him to talk to me.”

“You care if I join you?” Baker asked.

“No, I’d like that.”

Once again, Baker appreciated that she didn’t play games. “Okay. I’ll call you to make sure you’re up. That work?”

“Perfect,” she said.

“I’m gonna see what I can find out about him too.”

At that, Jodelle’s eyes opened all the way. “I’m not sure your connections will have anything on a senior in high school who probably hasn’t ever done anything wrong in his life.”

“I don’t either. But if there’s anything to find, I’ll find it.” He didn’t mention the parties at Ben’s house, and how his friends had been uncomfortable talking about them.

“I know you will,” Jodelle said with a sigh. “But I hope there’s nothing.”

“Me too, Tink. Me too. Try not to worry about it.”

She huffed out a breath. “Telling me not to worry about one of my kids is like telling me not to breathe.”

“I know. Which is why I’m on this.”

One of her hands lifted and she speared it into his hair. “Your hair’s long.”

“Yeah. I’m too lazy to get it cut.”

“I like it. I can tangle my fingers in it,” she told him.

“I noticed,” Baker said with a smile. And he had. When they’d made out earlier, she’d thrust both hands into his hair and held on tight as he ravished her. Or was it when she’d ravished him?

“Drive safe.”

“It’s not that far,” Baker said with a smile.

“I know. Still.”

“I will. You want me to text when I get home?”

“Yes. I’ll probably be asleep, but when I wake up in the middle of the night I can look at my phone and know that you made it all right. Heads-up, if there’s no text, I’m calling in the cavalry.”

“When you wake up in the middle of the night?” he asked.

“Yeah. I always wake up at least once. I think it’s from getting up to check if Mana had made it home yet.”

Baker didn’t like that for her and made a mental vow to do what he could to break her of the habit. He couldn’t bring her son back, but maybe he could make her comfortable enough with her memories, and her current life, that she didn’t feel the need to wake up. “All right, I’ll text.”

“I had a good time on our non-date tonight, Baker.”

“Me too,” he said with a smile. Then he leaned down and kissed her forehead gently, inhaling deeply one last time before he drew back.

“I like how you keep smelling me.”

“Good. Because it’s not something I’m gonna stop doing anytime soon.”

“Go,” she ordered. “I’m sure you have some motorcycle club president to blackmail tomorrow and you need your sleep so you can be on top of your game.”

Baker chuckled even as he shook his head. “Sleep well, Tink.”

“You too, Baker.”

“I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Good.”

“Night.”

“Good night.”

With that, Baker forced himself to back away and head for the door.

“Baker?”

He resisted the urge to go back to the side of the bed. He’d made it to the doorway, which was a minor miracle, so he wasn’t going to test his control any more tonight. “Yeah?”

“There’s a key under the fifth flower pot from the front door. The purple one with the yellow flowers. That was Mana’s favorite. You can lock the door with it and put it back.”

Warmth spread through him. He was well aware she wasn’t giving him a key to her place, but he liked that she trusted him with knowing where it was. “Okay. Thanks for letting me lock you in. Wasn’t keen on just having the knob locked.”

“Mana always said the same thing. It’s why he insisted on having the hidden key outside. He didn’t like to carry it on his keyring, in case someone stole them. He always said someone could take his car and it wouldn’t be a big deal. But knowing that same person could get into the house was a hard no.”

Baker couldn’t say a single word—because his throat closed up. He fucking hated that he hadn’t had a chance to meet Kaimana Spencer. He would’ve been a hell of a man. Was a hell of a man.

“Good night, Baker.”

“Night,” he managed to say, before turning and walking down the hall. He grabbed his keys from the bowl on the counter—the same bowl Jodelle’s keys were in, where she always put them when she came home—and headed out. He found the flower pot and palmed the key. After locking the front door, he stared for a long moment at the key in his hand. Then he closed his eyes, lifted his head, and said a silent prayer to Kaimana. Vowing to do right by his mom and to take care of her the way the boy would want him to.

He slid the key back under the pot before making his way to his car. He had some things he needed to do—he’d gotten behind in the last week, since he’d spent a lot of time thinking about and talking to Jodelle—but he definitely had time to go surfing Monday morning.

Smiling at the thought of seeing Jodelle again so soon, Baker felt lighter than he had in years. And he had a little spitfire to thank for it.