5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

“ L ets give it up for our amazing panel guests,” the host bellowed into his microphone from the side of the stage at the front of the large banquet hall. “These are some of the most brilliant minds in finance today, shaping the industry.”

Sam clapped politely, her eyes flicking toward the stage as the panelists exchanged handshakes and goodbyes. Conversations hummed as people drifted toward the back of the room, the stage at the room’s center now empty under its sharp spotlight.

She sat near the back of the room, watching as attendees stood, stretching and gathering their belongings. A few rows ahead, Jess and Liz rose from their seats, Jess brushing a strand of her long blonde hair behind her ear as they turned to head toward the exit.

Liz caught Sam’s gaze and smiled, lifting a hand in a casual wave.

Sam nudged Tiana, and they both stood, stepping into the aisle to meet them at the end of the row.

“Ready to make small talk with a million different people you’ll probably never see again?” Liz asked with a light laugh, smoothing the lapel of her tailored blazer.

Tiana groaned. “Seriously, this thing isn’t over yet? I feel like we’ve been here forever, and it’s already five. Isn’t that supposed to be the end of the day when you work an office job?”

An amused smile passed over Jess’ lips as Sam shot Tiana a pointed look. “You’re the one who asked to come. You could’ve hung back at the office instead.”

“Yeah, well, I thought it’d be more of a party here,” Tiana muttered, mirroring the look right back at her.

Sam shrugged, watching the swarms of people as they made their way toward the back of the large banquet hall where the networking part of the evening would be held.

“They usually serve drinks at these networking things,” she said, nodding toward the small bar where people had already begun lining up.

Tiana brightened slightly at that. “Good. Everyone here needs to loosen up.”

Liz gave Tiana a surprised smile as she let out a laugh. “I couldn’t agree more.”

“Well,” Tiana said, turning toward the bar, “you know where I’ll be.”

“I have to go talk to a few important people,” Liz said, looking back at Jess. Then she looked at Sam with a grin that seemed to feign embarrassment. “I’m up for a big promotion, so they want me to meet more of the executives.” She let out a short laugh. “You’re so lucky you never have to deal with that, doing your own thing and all.”

Sam hummed, keeping her face neutral as she nodded in agreement.

Liz gave her another smile as she placed a hand on Jess’ lower back, turning her to leave.

“I’ll wait here,” Jess said, staying in place.

“Are you sure?” Liz asked with a questioning look. “I don’t know how long I’ll be.”

“Yeah,” Jess said with a small smile. “You go do your thing. I’ll find you after.”

“Okay,” Liz muttered, frowning as she turned to leave.

A few seconds of silence ticked by before Tiana turned back to them from where she stood at the bar, holding a beer up and tilting her head in question.

Sam shook her head, holding up the bottle of water she’d swiped at the beginning of the event.

“She’s good for you to have around,” Jess said from where she stood beside her.

“She’s something,” Sam muttered with a chuckle as she turned back to Jess. “She always got into trouble when we were kids. And she was always dragging me along, so her trouble turned into mine, too.”

The corner of Jess’ mouth quirked upward. “Maybe you need that. Someone to remind you to take it easy sometimes and have fun. Especially now.”

Sam blew out a breath, laughing. “Well, if you’re the one giving that advice, it must mean I really need it.”

Jess bumped her shoulder against Sam's, the small smile growing on her lips. “Hey, I eased up a little after college. But you—” she paused as the smile fell from her eyes. “You did the opposite.”

It was true. And if anyone were to see it within her, she knew it’d be Jess.

“Okay,” Tiana said suddenly as she approached. “So they’re only serving beer, apparently,” she said, holding a second beer bottle out to Jess. “Hope you’re a fan of fruity IPAs.”

Jess turned to Tiana, giving her a small smile as she took the beer. “Thanks.”

“She hates IPAs,” Sam said with a smirk.

Jess’ smile grew into an amused grin as she took a sip. “Not as much as I used to. They’ve grown on me.”

“Well, I think they’re absolutely disgusting,” Tiana muttered before taking a large gulp of her own. “But I’m not about to listen to one more guy tell me about his boring finance job without having a drink first.”

“Sam!” Liz called out from somewhere across the room. She looked up to see her weaving through the crowd of people.

Liz grinned, looking over her shoulder as she said something Sam couldn’t hear.

And then she froze as two familiar faces trailed behind Liz, emerging from the crowd.

“Mom, dad,” Liz said excitedly as they approached, “you remember—”

“Sam?” the older man said as he stared at her wide-eyed.

“Oh my gosh!” The woman exclaimed, surging forward and pulling her into a tight hug.

Sam stiffened. Then, slowly, she reached one arm around the woman.

“Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs,” she mumbled, fighting to gain her composure as she took them both in.

“Oh, get out of here with all that,” Mrs. Jacobs said, chuckling. “You’re all grown up now. You can call us by our first names.”

Sam pulled away, nodding as she planted what she hoped was a convincing enough smile on her face. Even if she wanted to call them by their names, she couldn’t. She’d never known them as anything else.

“Gosh, how long has it been?” Mr. Jacobs asked, looking her over. “I can’t even remember the last time we saw you.”

Her smile faltered as she instantly recalled the memory. She could still see the moment in her mind, as if it had only just happened. The day the social worker came and picked her up from their house, even after she’d begged them not to go. After she begged them to take her in.

“Yeah, I can’t remember either,” she lied, glancing away as she took a sip from her water bottle.

The woman turned to Jess. “Hey honey,” she said, giving her a hug. “It’s nice to see you again.”

Sam watched Jess greet them both. If she’d already met Liz’s parents, they must’ve been more serious than she originally thought.

Mrs. Jacobs turned back to her. “Well, you look great!” she gushed, squeezing Sam’s arm.

“What brings you to our company’s event?” Mr. Jacobs asked.

Sam cocked her head, but before she could clarify, Liz cut in.

“He’s one of the execs at the firm,” Liz said matter-of-factly.

“Oh,” Sam muttered, trying and failing to gain back her professional demeanor.

Mr. Jacobs smiled proudly, bumping his shoulder against Liz. “Got this one her first job there right out of college.”

Liz’s smile faltered. “I had other offers,” she said quickly, with a laugh that sounded just a tad too forced. “But—it just—made sense to work there, you know?”

Sam nodded, not entirely caring to hear the details.

“It was hard to get her to focus on anything other than soccer in college, but we did it!” he said with a boisterous laugh. “Sam, where did you play in college? You were so talented, I’m sure you had recruiters all over you.”

She glanced away, avoiding his gaze. And her eyes met with Jess’ instead, who seemed to be watching her intently. Sam shifted a fraction closer to her. Maybe it was out of some long-lost habit, or maybe it was something else. But either way, it made her feel better.

She cleared her throat, looking back at him. “I didn’t play in college.”

He jerked his head back, as if it somehow offended him. “What? Why?”

She shifted another inch closer to Jess, scratching the back of her neck. “Uh—I couldn’t play in high school. So—” she trailed off, wracking her brain for any way to change the subject.

He either didn’t care to hear the rest, or was entirely oblivious.

He turned to Jess instead. “You should’ve seen these two when they were kids,” he said with a grin as he shook his head. “They were incredible on the field, even from a young age. They were at the same private school, and they went undefeated for three seasons in a row until—”

He paused, as if finally catching himself, before continuing what he was about to say. A sheepish look crept over his features.

“Well,” he mumbled, throwing his wife a quick look that said he needed rescuing, “the team was much better when you were on it.”

Mrs. Jacobs let out an awkward laugh as she waved a hand dismissively. “He likes to reminisce too much. And once he starts talking about sports, you can hardly get him to stop!”

Everyone in the circle laughed, and although Sam tried her hardest to join, nothing came out.

She raised the water bottle to her lips, tilting it back far enough to get a couple of big gulps down.

She was only vaguely aware of Liz changing the subject to something work related, before they all began talking again. She followed each person as they spoke, trying to smile or laugh at all the right moments. But the tightness in her chest didn’t recede.

It was as if she was suddenly twelve years old again. Nothing more than an outsider looking in.

Mrs. Jacobs said something to her before laughing, and Sam smiled, forcing a response to come out of her mouth. She wasn’t entirely aware of what she’d said, but it seemed to be the right thing, because the older woman burst into laughter.

Sam planted a wide grin on her lips as if she didn’t feel like nothing more than a shell of a human being at that moment. The laughter buzzed in her ears, and she couldn’t tell if it was theirs, or her own, that she was hearing.

Suddenly, a soft hand squeezed her bicep.

She blinked, looking to where Jess stood beside her.

“Hey,” Jess said, a nonchalant smile on her face. Although the look in her eyes was anything but. The concern in them seemed to ask some sort of silent question. “I’m gonna step out for a sec and get some air. Wanna come?”

Sam swallowed as the world came rushing back to her. “Yeah,” she nodded slightly, emerging from the daze she’d entered. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

They excused themselves as the rest of them continued talking, the laughter fading with every step they took toward the nearest exit.

Jess kept a hand placed gently on her shoulder, leading them to the door that led to the main lobby area. And the instant they stepped past the threshold, a calming quiet greeted them. The lobby had mostly emptied, leaving only a handful of people saying their goodbyes.

Jess led her out to a vacant part of the lobby before she stopped, dropping her hand.

“You okay?” she asked, turning to look at her with that curious concern she’d seen in her eyes just a few moments before.

“Oh—yeah.” Sam shook her head lightly, with a tight smile. “Yeah. All good.”

Jess’ features hardened then, as if they were deflecting the obvious lie. And it was hardly a surprise. She always seemed to have some deep sense of how she was feeling, like their emotions were tangled together as one.

Sam swallowed, hating how transparent she felt beneath Jess’ gaze. Or maybe she didn’t hate it at all. And maybe that’s what she really hated so much.

“Yeah,” Sam said softly, looking away. She fiddled with the bottle in her hand. “Its just a lot, I guess.”

Jess’ eyes traced her face. “Seeing her parents, you mean?”

Sam nodded.

It’d been one thing to see Liz again after all those years. It felt odd, but not necessarily in a bad way. Just different. Unexpected.

But seeing her parents was something else.

As a child, she’d never understood why they hadn’t let her stay with them. Why she couldn’t have kept the life she’d had. The school. The friends. They’d been her only hope of that.

And—they didn’t want her.

As she got older, she understood more of what a big commitment it would’ve been on their part. And she didn’t blame them. Not really. Or at least, she never thought she did.

But seeing them like that—so happy, so unbothered—stirred those old, repressed feelings.

“You haven’t seen any of them since your mom passed?” Jess asked softly. “Not even Liz?”

Sam shook her head, avoiding her gaze.

Having her there in the moment had felt like a life raft. But now, knowing that Jess had seen her fumble and lose her composure in front of those people—her girlfriend’s parents—made it worse. Like she was nothing more than that same powerless child she’d once been.

Like she’d never changed.Never become anything.

“I’m sorry,” Jess said, giving her an earnest look that held no ounce of pity. Just pure empathy.

She loosed a breath, scratching the back of her neck as her brain worked to push out those bad thoughts and reset itself.

“It’s fine,” she breathed, smiling a little too wide. “No big deal.”

She looked away, scanning the empty lobby, but she could feel Jess’ eyes raking over her, the way they had so many times before.

She looked back at her and saw a slightly curious expression adorning her features.

“What?”

Jess pursed her lips into a tight line. “You know you don’t have to do that with me.”

She frowned. “Do what?”

Jess stared at her for a moment, her intense gaze softening a fraction. “You know what.”

Sam faltered for just a second, but luckily, her brain had already switched gears. She could feel it forcing her confidence back, searching for something to latch onto and take her far away from all of those memories.

“Why are you so good at reading me?”

Jess instantly rolled her eyes, but the corners of her lips turned up slightly. “Why are you so good at changing the subject?”

Sam didn’t bother suppressing her grin.She couldn’t help it, anyway. That teasing tone in Jess’ voice was one of her favorites.

“You know your charm won’t distract me like it does with everyone else,” Jess continued, a challenging, but amused, glint in her eyes.

“Oh, I know,” Sam muttered with a chuckle. “It never worked on you.”

Jess watched her for a moment, opening her mouth before closing it again and glancing away. She crossed her arms over her chest before looking back at her, the seriousness returning to her warm eyes.

“So?” she prompted once more.

Sam blew out a breath, running a hand over the back of her neck. “I’m fine,” she said. “Really.”

By the look in her eyes, she could tell Jess wanted to push her on it. To get a deeper explanation.But instead Jess just nodded slowly, giving her a soft, understanding smile. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Sam asked slowly, cocking an eyebrow.

“I didn’t bring you out here for an interrogation. You were getting enough of that in there,” she said, glancing toward the auditorium.

Sam hummed, nodding slowly. “Yeah. Thanks for giving me an excuse to leave.”

Jess’ lips twitched into a faint smile.

“Oh, thank God. Are you finally ready to go?”

Sam turned, seeing Tiana walking toward them with a new drink in hand.

“Not yet,” she replied, taking one more swig of the water before screwing the cap back on. “I should head back in and talk to some more people before we leave.”

Tiana let out an exaggerated groan. “Alright, well, come on,” she muttered, motioning her over. “Let’s get it over with. I’m not trying to spend my whole Friday night here.”

Sam chuckled, shaking her head. “Right,” she said, throwing Jess an amused glance as Tiana grabbed her hand to pull her away. “You coming?”

Jess shook her head. “I’m all talked out. I’ll find you guys later, though.”

They made their way around the crowd, stopping to meet and talk with different people Sam recognized from the few times she’d been at the office.

And as the time ticked on and the drinks flowed, the conversation devolved along with it.

But she played her part to perfection. She put on a smile, giving her thoughts and telling some relevant story that had everyone in the group laughing by the end.As she finished, though, the smile felt more forced than it had before. As if just standing there between them all, pretending to care and have fun had become the most enormous task in the world.

She cleared her throat, letting the painful smile melt away as she excused herself from the conversation.

“Okay, I’ve hit my breaking point,” Tiana muttered from beside her. “I can’t do this small talk anymore.”

And this time, she agreed.

“Me too. Let’s head out.”

They made their way through the thinned out room of people before exiting the building to the sidewalk in front of the event center.

“Done for the night?” Liz’s voice called out from behind them.

Sam looked over her shoulder to see Liz and Jess walking toward them.

“Absolutely not,” Tiana quipped. “I’m ready to go out and have some real fun.”

Sam shot her an amused look. “You just spent all day out talking to people, and now you want to do it even more?”

“Of course,” Tiana replied as if it were obvious. “It’s a Friday night, and I just worked all day.”

“You know,” Jess cut in beside them as Liz took her hand. “I actually kind of agree. I thought I’d be more exhausted, but going out sounds like fun.”

Tiana squealed, a wide grin breaking out across her face. “Yes!”

Sam caught the slight frown that passed over Liz’s features as Jess turned to her.

“I don’t know,” Liz muttered, stifling a yawn. “Its been a long day. I kind of just want to head home,” she said, offering Jess an apologetic look.

“Oh,” Jess replied, a hint of disappointment in her voice. “Yeah—no, that’s okay.”

“Oh, come on,” Tiana groaned. “Its barely even six. Just come out for a few hours, at least.”

Jess looked back at Liz, who pursed her lips, but seemed to be considering it, nonetheless.

After a moment, she let out a low exhale. “Okay. Fine. Yeah, I’m in.”

Tiana grinned, looking back at Sam. “You’re coming too. And don’t even try to say you have to work in the morning.”

Sam chuckled. “Hey, I was already gonna say yes.” She rolled her stiff shoulders back. “I think I’m gonna take the morning off.”

“Perfect,” Tiana said, grabbing her hand. “There’s a gay bar downtown that I’ve been dying to go to.”

Jess pulled her phone out of her pocket. “What’s the name? I’m gonna text Scar and see if she wants to meet us.”