27. Chapter 27

Chapter twenty-seven

S am sipped the steaming cup of coffee before setting it down on the small table in her living room.

“So,” Tiana started, tossing the last of her clothes messily into her black duffel bag, “you gonna miss me?”

Sam smirked, quirking an eyebrow at her. “Yeah, but it’ll be nice having my couch back.”

It’d been one week since she officially turned down the offer.

And although she’d expected a new onslaught of worries and stress to hit, it hadn’t.

Actually, for the first time in as long as she could remember, things felt—calm.

Sure, it brought up an endless string of new questions and problems they needed to solve. But it wasn’t the same as before. For the first time, it felt like she actually knew what she really, truly wanted. And with that clarity came a new vision for how she wanted to run the company. A vision for how they should move forward.

Tiana hummed, pulling the zipper across the top of the bag. “So you can finally stop having an excuse to not ask Jess to come over?”

Sam frowned down at the cup on the table. They hadn’t spoken since the run in at the coffee shop a week before. And every time she’d thought about texting or calling, she came up with some excuse as to why it was a bad idea.

But she’d be lying if she said it wasn’t absolutely killing her every day that passed by.

“She wouldn’t want me to ask her to come over,” Sam muttered.

“Well, maybe that would change if you told her you weren’t leaving anymore.”

Sam let out a deep sigh, rolling her head back to lean against the couch cushion. “You didn’t see how she was last week. I think it’ll take a long time before she’s ready to talk to me again.”

Tiana rolled her eyes, shooting her an irritated look. “That woman is hopelessly in love with you. She doesn’t want time. She wants you .”

Sam swallowed, feeling just slightly better at hearing those words. “Even if that were true, it’s not the right time to talk about it. Things need to settle more.”

Tiana groaned exaggeratedly, standing from where she’d been crouched beside the bag on the ground.

She crossed the living room in two easy strides, then dropped onto the couch beside her.

Tiana grabbed the coffee cup Sam had been sipping on, taking a large gulp.Then she set it back down before turning to Sam with an intense gaze.

“What?” Sam asked with a sigh.

Tiana opened her mouth to speak, then paused, closing it again as if rethinking the words. “Every time Jess changed her mind when you first met and walked away from what you guys had, did you want to have to keep chasing after her?”

Sam’s brows pulled together. “Of course not.”

“And even after things were good between you guys, did you just instantly trust that they’d stay that way?”

Sam pursed her lips, glancing away.

“No, you didn’t,” Tiana continued. “You needed her to prove it. You needed her to show up and prove to you that it would work. That she wanted it to work.”

Sam loosed a breath, about to argue, but Tiana continued.

“So why the hell are you still sitting here?”

Sam’s eyes flicked up to her. “Fine. I’ll call her tomorrow.”

Tiana let out a disgusted scoff. “Please, Sam. You’re so much better than that. Go see her. Now.”

“I have to give you a ride, remember?”

“Right,” Tiana muttered, standing to grab the last of her things from the kitchen. “Because there’s no other way in the world for me to get to the airport.”

Sam frowned, hands fidgeting in her lap. Maybe Tiana was right, and Jess really would want to see her.

Or maybe seeing her was the absolute last thing she would want. In which case, showing up would only make things worse.

“I don’t know,” she mumbled.

Tiana rolled her eyes, shaking her head before trudging back to where Sam waited on the couch.

“I’m ordering an Uber,” Tiana said, tapping something on her phone.

Sam opened her mouth to argue, but Tiana’s firm look cut her off.

“Sam,” she said in a low, serious voice. “I’m only going to say this one more time. Do not fuck this up again. Go get your girl.”

***

Sam barely noticed the street as she walked, her feet moving almost on their own, her mind racing through everything she wanted to say to Jess. When she finally reached the familiar apartment building, her nerves prickled to life.

She probably should’ve called or texted first to actually make sure she was there. But she’d been more concerned with what she was going to say once she got there.

Then an old memory sprang into her mind.

The corners of her mouth turned up in a smirk as she pulled her phone out of her pocket and easily found Jess’ contact.

She clicked the call button and pressed it to her ear, listening as it rang.

And not even halfway through the second ring, it stopped.

“Hi,” Jess answered, her voice lacking all of its usual warmth.

“Hey,” Sam breathed, scratching a hand over the back of her neck.

Jess was quiet for a moment before she asked, “Everything okay?”

Sam smiled to herself as that long ago memory played in her mind. “Yeah.” She paused, clearing her throat as she peered back up at the building. “Are you home?”

“Yeah,” Jess drawled, curiosity clear in her voice. She didn’t sound happy to hear from her, but she also didn’t sound as clipped as she had the week before. So at least that was a win.

“Why?” Jess asked.

The corner of Sam’s mouth twitched upward as she answered, “I’m outside.” Seconds of silence ticked by, and Sam had to fight to keep from holding her breath. Then finally, when it seemed like Jess might not respond at all, she added, “Can we talk?”

A soft exhale came through the phone. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jess muttered.

Her stomach suddenly felt heavy at the sound of resignation in her voice. She knew it. Showing up was a terrible plan.

But even as she realized that, even as her brain told her to turn around and walk away, she couldn’t. She had to at least know that she really tried.

“I understand,” Sam said quietly. “And if you want me to leave, I will.” She paused, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves. “But please, just give me one minute.”

The phone felt quiet once more, and Sam waited, her heart pounding in her chest with every second.

Then suddenly, the phone beeped as the call ended. Sam pulled it away from her ear, glancing down at the black screen as every last bit of hope she’d held onto dried up.

She released a breath, shutting her eyes, letting that rejection seep into her bones instead of immediately pushing it away. She had to. No matter how painful it was, she couldn’t run from it.

She opened her eyes again, giving herself a few more seconds to recover. Then, right as she began to turn away, the door to Jess’ apartment opened.

Her head snapped up, lips parting in surprise as she watched Jess step outside, glancing around.

Then Jess paused as her gaze fell to her.

She looked down at her for a moment, and even from that distance, Sam could clearly see the way she seemed to steel herself before walking down the short flight of stairs.

Sam’s legs began moving on their own before she registered it, bringing her to the bottom of the stairway as Jess descended the last few steps.

Jess watched her with a timid look, crossing her arms over her chest as if holding herself together. “How does it feel being on the other end of that call this time?”

Sam released a tight breath, smiling slightly as she shook her head. “Terrifying,” she said with a laugh.

Jess hummed, her face still a hard mask. “You have it easy. You don’t have to worry about knocking on the door and having Chris open it.”

Sam laughed again. “Yeah, I definitely didn’t give you enough credit for that.”

A tiny flicker of amusement crossed Jess’ face before it immediately evened back out to its emotionless state.

Sam cleared her throat, glancing away as she worked to summon some tiny ounce of the confidence that usually came so easily to her.“Sorry,” she mumbled. “If you were busy or—”

“Sam,” Jess cut her off with a pointed look. “What do you want to talk about?”

Sam let out a deep breath, running a hand over the back of her neck. “I um—”

Her mind was reeling, searching for the best way to ease into it. The best way to explain how things had changed.

“I’m not going to London,” she blurted suddenly, as if the words refused to be held in even a second longer.

Jess blinked, staring at her. Then she blinked again, her brows furrowing as if it had taken a second to understand.“What?”

Sam swallowed, watching her. “Yeah.”

Then a mixture of something resembling guilt and panic flashed through Jess’ eyes.

“Not because of you,” Sam added immediately. “Or—I mean—” She shook her head. “There were a lot of reasons. It wasn’t the right choice to make.”

Maybe they’d have more time at some point, and she could tell her the details. But now wasn’t that time. The details didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Jess knew.

Jess looked down, nodding, her brow still slightly furrowed. “So you’re staying?” she asked slowly.

Sam nodded once. “Yeah. At least, for now. Caleb and I still need to talk through the details and really figure out what it means and how we’re gonna move forward,” she rambled, the words tumbling out of her mouth. “But—” She swallowed as their eyes locked together again. “Yeah. I’m staying.”

She wasn’t sure what she’d expected Jess to say or do after she told her. But the still guarded, careful look in her eyes was a surprise.

“And what does that mean, exactly?” Jess asked.

Yeah, she definitely should’ve thought the whole thing through more before just showing up.

“I—don’t know,” Sam muttered, every last bit of her confidence draining out with the inadequate words.

Jess’ lips pursed together as she let out a small breath, her shoulders dropping. “Okay.”

Sam swallowed against a sudden dryness in her throat. “I just—I wanted to tell you.”

Jess nodded slowly, her eyes flicking away. “Well, I’m happy for you. If that’s what you ended up wanting.”

Sam pursed her lips, looking down at the ground. “Thanks.”

The word felt hollow. Everything about what she’d said felt hollow—meaningless. And she hated herself for thinking it would’ve felt different—been different.

Of course it didn’t change things. She’d already broken what they had. It was ridiculous to think she could fix that.

When she looked up again, Jess was watching her with guarded eyes. But behind that, she could see the hurt. And even though she felt that same deep sorrow, just looking at her made it better. Like being near her was enough to ease the pain.

“I’m sorry,” she said, watching the way Jess’ blonde hair fell perfectly out of her messy bun and around her face. “I know you didn’t want to talk.”

Jess stayed quiet, watching her with a deep intensity.

Sam swallowed, releasing a long exhale. “I just—I miss you.”

The carefully guarded mask of Jess’ features slipped slightly. Like those three words had tugged it from its place.

Jess stared for a long moment, studying her in the way she always did. Then she swallowed, looking away. “I don’t know where you wanted to go from here. But I don’t think this changes things.”

Sam felt her chest sink.

“It’s not that I don’t want it to,” Jess added, closing her eyes as she inhaled. And Sam could see the split emotions on her then. The carefully caged want. “But we’ve been here so many times before, Sam.”

Her voice cracked on her name, and it took every ounce of will she had to keep from reaching for her.

Jess took a deep, steadying breath. “How am I supposed to trust that you’re really in it this time?” She paused, shaking her head in frustration. “That something else won’t come up and I’ll wake up one day to you leaving again.”

Sam looked away to the darkened skyline. She couldn’t blame her. If anything, she understood completely. Even more than she realized. It was a feeling she knew all too well.

“I need time,” Jess whispered.

“Yeah.” Sam swallowed down the tight burn in her throat. “I understand.”

Jess stood there for a moment, her eyes on the ground. Then she took a step back, and that one single step felt like a thousand miles.

Sam watched her, wondering if that was how Jess felt each time she’d left. Each time she’d shoved her feelings down and walked away. And if it was, then she couldn’t blame her.

But they’d had time.

Too much time.

Excruciating years of it.

And she wasn’t about to let her slip away. Not again.

“I’ve loved you every minute for the last eight years.”

Jess’ gaze shot back up to her, lips parting as if that was the last thing she expected to hear.

The same clarity she’d had over the last week came flowing back to her. It wasn’t complicated. Not anymore. Jess was her person. And no matter what happened—no matter what they were—she needed her to at least know that.

“You’re it,” she continued. “You always have been. No matter how hard I’ve tried to move on, it’s always been you.”

Jess watched her, the guarded look now completely gone and replaced by pure shock. But Sam continued, feeling more confident than she had in weeks.

“If you need time, that’s fine. Take all the time you need. But I don’t. I know exactly what I want.” The corner of her mouth quirked up in a soft smirk. “I’ve known since the first time you kissed me.” She shook her head, releasing a deep breath. “Time won’t change that. It never has. At least—not for me.”

Jess looked at her, her gaze softening as something deeper flickered in her eyes. She took a slow, steady breath and stepped closer, close enough that Sam could feel the warmth radiating between them.

“You’re really not leaving?” Jess murmured, her voice just above a whisper, as if saying it any louder would break the moment. Her fingers brushed against Sam’s, tentative, then bolder as she took her hand.

Sam’s pulse kicked up as she tried to hold her ground, feeling the intensity in Jess’ touch, in the way she looked at her.

“I’m not leaving,” Sam whispered, trying to keep her voice steady.

Jess let out a slow exhale, her thumb tracing a soft circle over Sam’s knuckles.

Sam swallowed, the soothing touch spurring her on. “I want this. Us.”

Jess lifted her other hand, brushing a loose strand of hair back from Sam’s face, her touch lingering. The silence between them grew charged, each second stretching.

Then slowly, softly, Jess leaned in.

Sam stilled as Jess’ warm lips met hers. It wasn’t hesitant or uncertain—it was purposeful, as if Jess were pouring years of unspoken feelings into that single, aching moment.

Then slowly, Jess pulled back, breaking the kiss.

Sam’s heart pounded as she opened her eyes, watching Jess release a slow breath.

“I missed you too,” she whispered, her hand sliding to rest against Sam’s cheek. Her thumb traced along her cheekbone as she held her gaze.

The corners of Sam’s lips turned up in a smile as the last of the overwhelming nerves in her stomach finally dissipated.

Jess leaned forward, sliding her arms around Sam’s waist and leaning her head against her shoulder.

Sam wrapped her arms around her in a tight embrace, savoring the feeling she’d missed for weeks.

“You know,” Sam said, unable to hold back the grin that tried to break across her lips, “Jess Hayes does sound pretty good.”

Jess groaned into her shoulder, then chuckled, pulling her head back to look up at her. “You just couldn’t wait to bring that up, could you?”

Sam grinned back at her. “No, I couldn’t.”

Jess shook her head as she laughed. Then she stopped, looking up at her with some mix of adoration and amazement.

“What?” Sam asked, cocking her head to the side as she chuckled.

Jess bit the edge of her lip, still staring at her. As if she was looking for the very first time.

“Hearing you say it,” she whispered. “I don’t think I realized how good it would sound coming from you.”