19. Chapter 19

Chapter nineteen

S am leaned back against her couch, legs stretched out on the coffee table as her eyes drifted over the darkened room. The laptop sat on her thighs, but she’d barely been able to focus enough to read even a single email. Her phone sat beside her, and the urge to pick it up and call Jess gnawed at her.

She rubbed a hand over her face, letting out a slow breath.

She’d already used work as a reason to call twice that week—once to ask a question she already knew the answer to, another time to double-check a detail for the PR campaign. And then there was the night before, when she’d called just to hear Jess’ voice, and instead ended up stumbling through some half-baked excuse about a movie recommendation.

It was ridiculous. But she couldn’t help herself. She wanted to hear her voice again—to feel that warm, easy connection between them.

She lifted the phone, her mind racing, searching for a reason, something believable that wouldn’t seem too obvious.

Jess’ words from before echoed in her mind.

We’re friends. You don’t need an excuse.

Sam swallowed, staring down at the phone. Friends. Although, after the last two times they’d seen each other, the word didn’t seem as accurate as before.

She took a breath and pressed the call button.

It rang twice before Jess’ voice answered. “Hey,” Jess said, her voice low, with a slightly exhausted edge.

“Hey,” Sam replied, the sound of Jess’s voice immediately easing something tight in her chest. She rolled her shoulders back, drawing on her usual confidence. “Are you busy?”

“Not really,” Jess replied. “I had a long day. Just got home from work. Why?”

Sam hesitated, clearing her throat as she glanced around the empty apartment. “Wanna come over?”

There was a beat of silence. “Yeah,” Jess said, and she swore she could hear the hint of a smile in the word. “I’ll be there in thirty.”

Sam hung up, setting the phone down and running a hand through her hair. Nerves buzzed beneath her skin, but it wasn’t the anxious kind. It was the thrill of anticipation, the kind she’d only just started letting herself feel again when Jess was around.

True to her word, Jess knocked on her door almost exactly thirty minutes later. Sam opened it, taking in the sight of Jess standing there in jeans and a faded T-shirt, her hair slightly mussed, like she’d run her hands through it on the way over. She looked tired, but there was an excitement in her eyes as she met Sam’s gaze.

“Long day?” Jess asked, stepping inside.

“You could say that,” Sam replied, shutting the door behind her. She felt the sudden urge to close the distance between them, to pull Jess in and kiss her, but she shoved her hands into her pockets instead. “You want a drink?”

“Water’s good,” Jess said, following her into the kitchen and leaning against the counter as Sam retrieved a water bottle from the fridge. “You okay?”

Sam handed her the glass, shrugging. “Yeah. Just—” she paused, forcing herself to be honest and not swallow away the words that wanted to come out. “Wanted to see you,” she finished softly.

Jess’ lips quirked up in a small smile that told her being honest was the right call. “So you finally got sick of trying to come up with excuses?”

Sam chuckled, looking down as she felt a slight heat rise in her cheeks. “Guess so.”

They moved back into the living room, sinking onto the couch together. It was easy, familiar, the space between them closing naturally until their knees brushed.

“The wedding is coming up fast,” Jess said, breaking the comfortable silence. “You ready for the trip back home?”

Sam snorted, running a hand through her messy hair. “Not even a little.”

Jess chuckled, leaning back against the cushions. “Yeah,” she drawled, looking away. “Me either.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”

Jess hesitated, her fingers tapping lightly against the side of the water bottle. “My dad wants me to have dinner with him and his girlfriend.”

“Oh,” Sam said, nodding slowly. “How do you feel about it?”

“Yeah,” Jess sighed, looking down at her hands. “It feels weird, I guess. I want him to be happy, but the idea of it, sitting there with them, it just..” she trailed off with a tight shrug. “I don’t know.”

Sam frowned, watching her. “It’s okay to not be ready.”

Jess’ lips formed a tight line as she nodded slowly. “I feel stupid. It’s been so long since my mom passed away. I should be ready for this. But—I’m not.” She huffed a breath, shaking her head. “Especially not to sit there in our house and try to come up with things to say or ask.”

Sam reached over without thinking, her hand resting on Jess’s knee. “I can go with you, if you want.”

Jess looked up, her face instantly brightening. “Really?”

“Of course,” Sam said, squeezing her knee gently. “If that would help, I’ll be there.”

Jess’ expression softened, a small, grateful smile tugging at her lips. Then her eyes flicked down, her expression changing.

Slowly, carefully, Jess leaned forward, trailing a hand up Sam’s neck to turn her, instantly meeting her lips. And all at once, that deep need she’d felt since the last time finally felt some small relief.

Sam leaned into her, deepening the kiss like her very existence depended on it. Like she needed to taste every inch of her to satisfy the infinite craving. And for the first time, she wondered if maybe that’s what it felt like to have an addiction. To want— need —something so deeply that nothing could satisfy the hunger.

Jess groaned softly as her hands tangled up in the hair at the back of her neck. She leaned in, swinging one leg over her lap and pressing the full front of her body against her.

Then she broke the kiss as she whispered, “Take me to your bed.”

Sam smirked, instantly wrapping her arms around Jess’ body and shooting up from the couch.

Jess giggled as she tucked her head into the crook of her neck, wrapping both arms securely around her shoulders.“Well, that was easy.”

Sam grinned, easily trudging the distance down the hall with Jess’ body tangled around her. “I haven’t stopped thinking about—” her brain caught on the word you , and quickly substituted it. “ This —since the engagement party. I’m not waiting another minute.”

Sam stepped up to the edge of the bed, gently laying Jess down and settling in on top of her.

She kissed her again, even deeper than before. Maybe she should’ve been treating it more casual—the way she would any other hookup. But she couldn’t. She didn’t want quick—she wanted everything . She wanted to taste and feel every detail.

Jess’ body shifted, angling to the side as she felt her pushing upward. And Sam let her roll their bodies to the side until Jess was on top of her once more, legs hooked around her hips.

Sam sat up, reaching for her once again, unable to comprehend anything beyond the deep yearning for her lips. But Jess pulled back, the edge of her mouth turning up in a teasing smile before grabbing both of her wrists and pinning them down against the bed.

Jess watched her for a moment, as if daring her to try again.

But Sam couldn’t do anything. She was in complete awe, staring into her beautiful gaze.

Jess slowly released her wrists, trailing her hands to the hem of her shirt instead. Sam instantly lifted her arms over her head as Jess slid her shirt up and off her body, leaving her completely bare.

Jess’ eyes flicked down, taking in the sight for just a moment. But the teasing edge they’d held just seconds before had vanished, replaced with desire.

Jess’ throat bobbed as she swallowed, finally tearing her eyes away as they zeroed in lower.

Her hand slid down her chest, nails grazing lightly down her bare skin, and Sam shuddered at the contact.

They stopped at the waistband of her gray sweatpants, then she hooked both hands inside, and Sam lifted her hips as she gently pulled them down, leaving her in just her black boxers.

Sam leaned forward, reaching for Jess once more, but she pulled back until she stood at the foot of the bed. Her eyes trailed down Sam’s body, not looking away as she slowly unbuttoned her own jeans and tugged them down her legs.

Sam swallowed as her gaze flicked down to the thin red laced thong hugging her hips.

She looked back up to see Jess watching her intently, eyes burning into her own as she pulled her own shirt over her head, revealing a matching red bra.

Sam shifted to stand, but Jess paused, eyes narrowing in a mild warning.

Once she stilled, leaning back onto her elbows, Jess finally continued, hands hooking around her back to undo the bra and letting it fall to the floor.

Sam barely moved a muscle as Jess slowly stepped forward, kneeling onto the bed and climbing back on top of her. But before Sam could lift a hand, Jess grabbed her by the wrists again, pinning them down.

Sam stared down as she kissed her chest, lips brushing over the jagged, but smooth, scar tissue that cascaded down from her neck onto her chest.

Jess paused there, only for a moment, to leave one kiss before moving lower.

Her tongue glided down the exposed skin to the center of her abdomen, and she changed to an excruciatingly slow pace.

Sam shifted beneath her, hips jutting forward in a desperate attempt to get her tongue to a very different place.

But Jess pulled away just enough for Sam to make out the edge of a teasing smirk on her lips.

And then, ever so slowly, she pulled the boxers down, discarding them behind her.

She continued kissing down her body until she settled between her legs. She kissed her thigh, so softly she barely felt her lips against her skin. Then she moved closer, letting her lips just barely graze over her pulsing clit.

Sam squeezed her eyes shut, feeling a whisper of breath against her.

And this time, she didn’t try to stop it when her hips automatically jerked forward, searching for the one mouth she wanted.

But Jess pulled back expertly, keeping her lips just close enough to skim against her without fully giving in.

Her hips fell back against the bed, and she could already feel the wetness trickling out.

Jess must’ve seen it too, because her eyes flicked up to her with a sudden hunger. As if whatever self control she’d maintained up to that point had begun to crack at the sight.

She dipped her head downward, and Sam instantly tensed, anticipation building as she waited to feel Jess’ tongue finally hit her clit.

But it didn’t.

Sam gasped, her mouth falling open as she felt Jess’ tongue much lower, right where the wetness seeped from her slit.

Jess moaned, her tongue slowly twirling around her opening. It circled the edges before gliding slowly inside.

Sam gasped, her upper body springing forward. Her hand instinctively raised, stopping in midair behind Jess’ head. It paused there as she clenched it into a tight fist to stop from pushing her head down and grinding fully against her.

Sam bit down hard on her knuckle, squeezing her eyes shut as Jess’s tongue slowed, running lazy circles around her opening.

Her chest heaved as she dipped her head back, blinking up at the ceiling as she felt herself tightening around Jess’ tongue each time it entered her.

But even then, she entirely avoided any contact with her now aching clit.

“I—I—” She didn’t even know what she was trying to say. She didn’t know if she was about to plead or beg or command. It was too much. Too much want—too much need . Except, even need didn’t feel like the right word. It wasn’t just that she needed that contact there at that moment. She needed Jess there at that moment. Like nothing else— no one else —in the world would be able to satisfy that deep ache within her.

Then she felt Jess pull away.

She looked down, taking in the hungry look in her eyes.

Slick wetness glistened against her chin.

“Do you still have that strap?”

Sam’s chest rose and fell rapidly as she stared down at her, barely comprehending anything, much less words, at that moment.

She blinked, her brain slowly working again. Then she nodded.

Jess gave her a satisfied smirk, leaning down to place a gentle kiss against her thigh.

“I want you to use it on me,” she whispered into her skin.

Sam swallowed, watching every movement as if her life depended on it.And again, it took her brain a moment to process the meaning of what she’d said.

Jess looked up at her, keeping her mouth within an inch of her skin. “Where is it?”

Sam swallowed, her brain reeling. Then she nodded toward the drawer of her nightstand.

She turned toward it, but Jess reached out, placing a gentle hand on her arm to stop her.

Sam looked back at her, her brow furrowing in question.But Jess said nothing. Instead, she just moved up the bed, leaning over to open the drawer. She reached inside and, without a word, pulled the strap on out.

And again, when Sam tried to move, to stand, Jess placed a firm hand against her chest, pinning her down.

Sam watched as Jess moved back down the bed. Then she wordlessly placed the harness over each of her legs. Sam lifted her hips as Jess carefully moved it into place. Then she pulled on each strap until they tightened perfectly around her.

And this time, Sam didn’t try to move. She waited as Jess moved up her body until she was straddling her, hovering just above it.

Jess trailed her hands up onto her neck, running her fingers into her hair.

She lowered herself slowly onto the strap, keeping her eyes locked with Sam’s.The movement was painfully slow, as if Jess was working to savor every single moment. And as she continued, Sam could feel the base of the strap begin to press down against her throbbing clit.

Jess’ eyes widened slightly, her lips parting as Sam felt her hips dropping closer.

And even though she knew Jess wanted to draw it out—to tease her as long as she possibly could—she couldn’t handle it anymore. The look on Jess’ face as her hips lowered the last inch against her was enough to send every coherent thought from her mind.

Her arm shot up, wrapping around Jess’ hips.

And as if she instantly knew what she’d done—what dam she’d broken within her—Jess wrapped her arms around Sam’s neck, leaning her body weight against her.Like she had lost every sense of the control she’d held onto up until that moment, and was now relinquishing it all.

Sam thrusted upward, pulling Jess’ hips down against her.

The base of the strap ground against her clit, giving just a fraction of what it begged for.

And it wasn’t enough.

Sam spun them in one fluid motion, pinning Jess against the bed as her hips thrusted violently, lacking any ounce of control.

“Fuck,” Jess gasped, exhaling against her neck.

The sound of her completely unfiltered, raw want sent a new wave of need coursing within her. If she wasn’t already so far gone, she would’ve slowed down. She would’ve forced herself to make it last as long as humanly possible so she could hear that sound forever.

But she was too far past that point. Her brain wasn’t making any decisions. Her body had entirely taken over in a way it never had before. Not with anyone. Not even Jess.

Jess grabbed onto her back, clawing into her skin as her body writhed beneath her.

A string of profanities spit from her lips one after the next as her hips bucked upward, meeting each of Sam’s thrusts. Then her whole body tightened against her, molding into her as if they were one, holding her so close she could barely pull her hips back even an inch.

And even though she knew Jess was close, she needed more.

Sam twisted her body, taking Jess with her as her legs dropped over the edge of the bed to the floor.

Jess clung to her as she stood, keeping one arm wrapped securely around Jess’ waist, while the other hooked beneath one of her thighs.

She turned, immediately pinning Jess’ back against the wall, holding the full weight of her body.

Then she drilled into her, losing awareness of anything else but the feel of Jess’ body pressed against her own.

“Oh—my—god—” Jess panted.

Sam kept going, lifting her a few inches before yanking back down over and over again until a new intensity built in her core.

Then Jess released her arms from around her neck, pulling back to look at her instead. Her hands slid to Sam’s cheeks, and Sam moved forward to meet her lips.

But Jess pulled back, just barely out of reach.

Jess looked at her then, with a yearning that almost broke her free from the carnal state she’d entered.

She softened each thrust just a fraction as Jess leaned her forehead against hers. Jess’ brow furrowed slightly, lips parting as she watched her.

“Sam—I—”

Sam could see in her eyes what she was about to say—or maybe what she wanted to say.

Those three words.

The words that some deep buried part of her desperately wanted to hear. But there was another part that knew with certainty they couldn’t be said. Because if they were spoken aloud, they would change things. They would turn it all into something else.

Something it couldn’t be.

“I—” Jess paused, as if sharing those exact same thoughts, but deciding to say the words, anyway.

Sam tensed, her heart pounding with apprehension.

Then suddenly, Jess threw her head back, eyes squeezing shut.

“Fuck!”

Jess’ legs trembled beneath her hands.

Sam continued stroking into her as she arched back, every muscle in her body tightening.

Then Jess slowly crumpled forward, arms draping over Sam’s shoulders.

Sam slowed to a stop, adjusting her arms to wrap securely around her.

She stepped back from the wall, careful not to move too much while still inside her.

She moved back toward the bed, stopping when her knees hit the soft mattress.

Then she carefully leaned forward, laying her down against the bed.

Jess’ legs remained wrapped securely around her waist, keeping her firmly in place.Sam pulled her head back, looking down at her as she pressed a gentle kiss on her now damp temple.

She reached one hand up, wiping a stray lock of hair back from where it stuck to her forehead.

Jess opened her eyes, blinking once, then twice, as awareness filtered back into her gaze.

Sam’s heavy breathing finally began to slow, and she drooped her head forward, resting against Jess’ neck.

She felt Jess’ hands run across her shoulders, kneading against the now tight muscles.

Then they slid lower, running up and down the length of her back.

Sam lifted her head just enough to kiss the sensitive skin on the base of her neck, and Jess hummed, turning into the kiss.

She kissed her again, this time even slower, letting her lips drift over her skin.

Jess’ hands eased down to the small of her back, and she just barely registered the movement before she felt her nails skim across the skin.

Sam whimpered, unable to stop her hips as they fluttered forward, sending the strap sliding back into Jess.

Sam pulled her head up fully then, concern instantly filling her as she checked to make sure Jess was okay with the movement.

Jess stared back with a look in her eyes that she’d never seen before.And she wondered then if Jess would finally speak the words she knew were about to come out a few moments before.

But even if she didn’t, it wouldn’t matter. The look in her eyes said more than any words ever could.

Before Sam could pull her hips away, Jess scratched her nails against her again.

Sam gasped, hips jutting forward again, this time faster—harder.

Jess’ mouth fell open, a soft whimper escaping her lips.

She moved one hand up to the edge of Sam’s jaw, running a thumb across her bottom lip, while the other scratched once again on her lower back.

Sam felt herself start to throb again—even more furiously than before.

She slid her hips back, ever so slowly, before pressing forward once more. The base pressed against her, right where she needed it most.

Her head drooped forward as she moved in and out of Jess at an excruciatingly slow pace.

And with every stroke, she felt the pressure in her core building.

Jess’ soft lips brushed against her earlobe.

“Do anything you need, babe,” she whispered. “It’s okay, I can take it.”

Something warm buzzed in her chest at the words, or— word —she’d chosen.

And that warmth spread down further, coming to a point between her thighs.

She pulled her hips back, then drove them forward, still slow, but this time much deeper.

Jess moaned in her ear. “Go as deep as you need.”

The warm pulsing instantly morphed into a fierce, throbbing heat.

Sam’s breathing went ragged as she pulled back once more before plunging back in. She pulled back, meeting Jess’ focused gaze. And the way she was looking at her then was different. Her eyes dripped with desire. But that wasn’t the only thing there. She looked at her like she was the only thing in the whole world.

“I—I think—” Jess rasped, her eyelids fluttering. “If you keep doing that—its gonna—its gonna happen again—”

Sam stroked in and out of her again, every nerve ending buzzing. And suddenly, she didn’t care about getting what her body needed. She only cared about that look. About making Jess look at her that way every moment for as long as she lived.

But then Jess’ eyes squeezed shut.

“S—Sam—im gonna—” Jess whimpered, biting down on her earlobe as she tightened her legs around her.

And that was it.

Sam groaned, body curling forward as her hips bucked wildly back and forth, a wave of pleasure crashing through her body.

She only managed to keep herself up for another second before collapsing forward.

She laid like that for a few moments as her breathing finally returned to a semi-normal pace. Then she slowly pulled herself out of Jess, rolling to the side and dropping onto her back on the bed.

Jess pushed up onto her elbow, leaning over her as she kissed her softly.

Sam kept her eyes closed, taking deep breaths as she waited for her heartbeat to return to normal.

Then she felt Jess moving down the bed.

She opened her eyes just as Jess began undoing the harness around her hips.

She watched her carefully loosen each side, then Sam lifted her hips slightly as Jess pulled it away, tossing it to the side.

Then she waited for Jess to crawl back up to her side.

But she didn’t.

Instead, she settled back down between her legs.

Sam lifted her head, watching her curiously.

Jess’ eyes flicked up to hers. Then, with their gazes still locked, Jess dipped her head.

Sam gasped, shooting upright as she felt Jess’ tongue slide against her still throbbing clit.

Her hand instantly went to the back of Jess’ head before she could stop it, and Jess moaned into her.

When Sam tried to pull her hand back, Jess placed her own over it, pushing it back down against her, cementing it in place.

And that alone was enough to take her right back to the edge.

She ground herself against the full length of Jess’ tongue as her body released itself into her mouth.

When Jess’ tongue swirled over her the next time, everything unraveled.