15. Chapter 15

Chapter fifteen

T he restaurant was winding down, the noise level dropping to a dull murmur as the last of the dinner crowd paid their checks. Scarlett and Jasmine had just left, excusing themselves after the long day, but Sam had stayed with Jess and Tiana while they finished the last of their meals.

After a moment, Sam noticed Tiana’s gaze kept drifting toward the bar, where a handsome woman was laughing with a friend.

Tiana caught Sam’s eye with a sly grin. “I’m gonna go say hi,” she declared, already on her feet and sauntering toward the bar.

“That doesn’t bother you?” Jess asked, nodding her head toward where Tiana now stood looking at the attractive woman beside her with a coy smile.

Sam cocked her head, looking back at Jess. “Does what bother me?”

Jess shifted in her chair with a hesitant look. “You know,” she muttered. “Tiana—flirting—like that.”

Sam’s eyebrows tugged together. “No?” she drawled. “Why would that bother me?”

Now Jess was the one who looked confused. She opened her mouth, then paused, shaking her head before closing it again. “Aren’t you guys..”

It took Sam a moment to realize what she was getting at. And when she did, she broke into a laugh.“We’re not like that.”

Jess hummed, her eyes narrowing slightly like she wasn’t entirely convinced. “I mean,” she continued, throwing another glance toward Tiana before looking back at her, “I know you guys aren’t officially together or anything, but—” She paused, hesitating. “You and I weren’t either and..”

Sam understood then. And she also understood why Jess might have viewed them so differently than how Sam did.

“It’s not like that,” Sam answered. Then she cleared her throat, scratching a hand over the back of her neck. “I mean, it’s not like—us.” Jess’ eyes flickered to hers. “Or,” Sam continued, feeling the need to clarify. “It’s not like us— before .”

Jess’ eyes immediately left hers again, and she wondered whether the clarification should’ve been left unsaid.

“We’re just friends,” Sam said quickly, filling the silence.

Jess’ eyes fell to the table, and she reached forward, swirling the small bit of wine left in her glass. Then a dry smile ghosted over her lips as she said quietly, “Friends who sleep together aren’t really just friends . ”

Sam snorted a laugh. “Well, it’s been like two years since the last time, so I don’t know if it really counts still.”

Jess’ eyes flicked back up to hers, a look of surprise filling them. But she said nothing.

“What?” Sam asked.

“Didn’t you—” She paused, clearing her throat. “What about that night? After the club?”

Sam chuckled, shaking her head as she remembered what Jess had seen on the couch the morning after. “No. Nothing happened.”

Jess nodded slowly, her eyes losing the somewhat guarded confusion they’d held over the last minute.

“You really thought we were together this whole time?”

Jess loosed a breath, some part of her demeanor softening as she lifted her wineglass and poured the last of it into her mouth.

“Are you tired?” Jess asked, setting the glass down and turning her body toward her.

Sam smiled softly, her eyes crinkling in amusement at the sudden change. “A little. Why?”

Jess pushed back her chair, then stood, dropping her napkin on the table. Her blonde hair flowed in the breeze, a stark contrast against the night sky.

“Walk with me?”

Sam chuckled as she stood. “Like a walk on the beach?”

Jess walked around the table, probably knowing just as well as Sam did that the answer was already ‘yes’.

Sam followed her to the edge of the restaurant patio, where the concrete hit the sand. She squinted off into the darkness that enveloped the water line.

Jess let out a small, uncertain hum. “Yeah, maybe no beach walk. I’m not trying to end up in a horror movie.”

Sam chuckled. “Well, you’ve watched enough of them to know what to do. You’d definitely be the main character that survives ‘til the end.”

Jess looked back at her as she continued up the cement path, leading somewhere off into the resort. “Yeah, but you’d be the one that does something stupid, and I’d end up getting killed trying to save you.”

Sam smirked, following her up the winding path that was covered with trees on both sides. “You’re probably right.”

A light breeze blew through, rustling the leaves of the surrounding foliage.

“Scarlett had fun today,” Jess said, running a hand through her hair.

“Yeah?”

Jess’ head bobbed as she nodded. “You know, she always has more fun when you’re there.”

Sam gave her a sidelong look. “You think?”

Jess hummed, the corner of her lips tilting upward. “Don’t act like it’s the first time you’ve heard that. Everyone has more fun with you around.”

She wasn’t exactly wrong. It was something that she’d heard every so often. But still, hearing it from Jess felt different somehow.

“Do you have more fun with me around?” Sam asked, shooting her a playful smile.

Jess rolled her eyes as she chuckled. “If I say yes, are you gonna tease me about it all night?”

Sam grinned. “Maybe.”

“Then no,” Jess replied, eyes narrowing in a half-hearted glare.

“Very convincing,” Sam smirked. She gazed up at the starry night sky, letting out a deep sigh. “I still can’t believe she’s getting married.”

“Why not?”

Sam shrugged. “Guess I’m just surprised I know anyone that’s getting married. I feel like we’re all still so young.”

Jess nodded faintly, but said nothing.

Sam turned, studying her expression. “You don’t think so?”

Jess lifted one shoulder in a small shrug. “I don’t think it’s about the time. It’s about the person.”

Sam watched her, feeling the sudden urge to ask if she thought Liz was the right person at any point. But she also wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer.

“You’ve really never thought about it?” Jess asked.

“Thought about what? Getting married?”

Jess nodded, her eyes still fixed on the path in front of them.

Sam snorted a laugh. “In order to do that, I’d need time to think about anything beyond work. And I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”

Jess hummed softly. “What about kids?”

Sam turned to her, brows tugging together. “What about them?”

“Do you want them?” Jess asked so casually it was like she was asking what she wanted for dinner.

Sam blew out a breath, chuckling. “Uh—yeah. Yeah, I do. Definitely.”

The corner of Jess’ lips turned upward as she looked at her. “So marriage sounds like a totally foreign concept, but kids is a no brainer?”

Sam tilted her head back in a laugh. “Okay wait,” she started, putting up a hand. “I didn’t say it was a foreign concept. Just that I’ve never really thought about it.”

Jess turned away, but amusement still danced in her eyes. “Right.”

They continued up the path until it wrapped around to a corner of the building. Sam followed behind her until she turned the corner and stopped.

Sam burst into laughter, looking out into the back parking lot area filled with dumpsters where the path had ended.

“Maybe we should’ve taken our chances with the creepy beach walk after all.”

Jess shook her head, laughing along with her. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Wanna head back?” Sam asked, eyes drifting over the dingy yellow lighting of the mostly empty lot.

Jess’ laughter died off as she let out a long exhale. “Not really.”

Sam looked at her, watching the way her eyes stared off into the distance. Like she needed that night. That time alone—or—alone with just them.

Sam stepped ahead, stopping at a spot on the curb in front of the bushes. Then she sat down, nodding beside her for Jess to do the same.

Jess arched one brow, her eyes flicking to the curb once before bouncing back to meet Sam’s stare.

“We’re at a beautiful resort and you’re fine with just sitting in the back on the ground by the dumpsters?” she asked with an amused smirk, but even before half the question had left her mouth, she’d already dropped down, sitting beside her.

Sam shrugged. “You said you didn’t want to go back. So unless you changed your mind about taking our chances with the dark beach, then..” she trailed off, waving her hand in the air around them.

“I’m not sure this is any less creepy than the beach,” Jess muttered, her nose wrinkling as her gaze drifted over the parking lot.

Sam rested her hands on the ground behind her, leaning back until she peered up at the star filled sky.

“How many cities did you move to after New York?” Jess asked suddenly.

Sam turned to her with a curious smile. “What’s with all the questions tonight?”

Jess shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t know,” she muttered. “I guess I just keep thinking about all the stuff we never talked about.” Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, eyes flickering down at her lap. “Things I never had a chance to ask.”

Sam frowned, feeling a pang of guilt twist in her gut. She knew what Jess meant—there were entire years of silence between them, a chasm filled with all the things left unsaid. And now it seemed like Jess was trying to bridge that gap all at once.

Sam let out a soft sigh, her gaze drifting across the yellow light of the parking lot. Her eyes landed on a discarded styrofoam cup near the base of the dumpster. She had an idea. A way to ease the tension and turn that conversation into something lighter.

She walked toward the cup, plucking it off the ground, then turned it over, emptying the small bit of remaining liquid onto the ground.

“Thirsty?” Jess mumbled, her face contorting in disgust.

Sam set the cup down on the asphalt, then made her way back to the curb.

“Let’s play a game.”

Jess raised an eyebrow, the curiosity in her eyes replacing some of the unease. “A game?”

Sam nodded, bending down to scoop up a handful of small pebbles from the planter behind them. “Yeah,” she said, grinning as she held one out to Jess. “Make a shot. You get to ask a question.”

Jess’ lips quirked up into a smile, amusement dancing in her eyes. “And if I miss?”

“Then it’s my turn,” Sam replied, settling back onto the curb.

Jess glanced at the cup, then back at Sam. “You’re making this up as you go, aren’t you?”

“Obviously,” Sam said with a laugh. “But you wanted to ask questions, so here’s your chance.”

She held one pebble out to Jess, then nodded toward the cup. “Lets see if you still have those beer pong skills.”

The corner of Jess’ lips quirked up in a small smile.

She tossed the pebble. It skittered across the ground, missing the cup by a few inches.

“Guess not,” Sam mumbled through a smirk, bracing herself as Jess shoved a playful hand against her arm.

Sam took one from the pile, tilting her head as she lined it up.

She tossed it, watching as it hit the inside of the rim, knocking the cup over.

“I go first,” Sam said, standing and walking toward the cup.

“What, that doesn’t count,” Jess protested.

Sam glanced back at her with a pointed look as she sat the cup up again, placing it up against the brick wall lining the outside of the dumpster.

“That definitely counts.”

Jess reached out, grabbing another pebble from the pile and lining up a shot.

“Hey,” Sam said, dropping down beside her. “I haven’t asked my question yet.”

“I’m just getting ready,” Jess mumbled, that all too familiar competitive look gleaming in her eyes.

Sam chuckled, watching her.

“What’s the question?” Jess asked, not taking her eyes off the cup as she moved her arm in a practice throwing motion.

Sam hummed, tilting her head back as she thought. “What was your favorite part of today?”

Jess shot her a teasing smile. “Watching you fall off the jet ski.”

Sam threw her head back in laughter. “You know you talk a big game for someone who barely made it jumping off a six-foot cliff.”

Jess narrowed her eyes in a mock glare before turning and lining up her own shot. She released, and the pebble flew through the air, landing perfectly inside the cup.

Her head spun toward Sam with a victorious smile.

Sam grinned as she rolled her eyes. “You’re hands down the most competitive person I’ve ever met.”

Jess smiled wider before looking back straight ahead.

“Alright, what’s your question?” Sam asked, tossing a rock in the air and catching it in the other hand.

Jess bit her lip, eyes narrowing in thought. “Have you been back home since that last time? When I graduated.”

“No,” Sam answered immediately. Then she paused as one specific memory forced its way into her mind. “Well—” She cleared her throat. “Yeah. Once.”

Jess glanced at her, a question in her eyes.

But before she could ask, Sam tossed a rock. It ricocheted off the back of the bricks and into the cup with a thud.

She smiled slightly, leaning back once more. “Do you see your dad a lot now that you’re closer to home?”

Jess let out a soft sigh. “Probably not as much as I should.”

Sam nodded slowly, watching her.

“We talk every week, though. Phone calls and stuff.” Jess paused, looking down at the new pebble in her hand. “He, um—he has a girlfriend now.”

Sam’s head pulled back in surprise. “Oh.”

She could hardly imagine him talking to anyone enough to even have friends. Thinking about him forming a romantic relationship sounded nearly impossible.

“Yeah,” Jess drawled, giving her a look that said she probably thought the same. “So that’s—different.”

“Have you met her?”

Jess shook her head. “No. He just told me about it a couple months ago.” She let out a soft chuckle. “And it’s a good thing he told me over the phone because I probably would’ve looked as shocked as you did just now.”

“Yeah, that’s—” Sam paused, searching for the right words. “Hard to imagine.”

Jess laughed as she tossed another rock, easily making it in.

She opened her mouth, then paused. Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, then she asked, “What did you really think that day we ran into each other?”

Sam blinked, thinking back to that day and how she felt. How shocked she’d been. But also the other things she’d felt. Anxiety, maybe even panic. But also something else. Some sense of relief. As if she’d been waiting for that moment for a long time without realizing it.

Jess turned slightly, looking at her.

Sam cleared her throat, pulling her knees up in front of her and resting her elbows against them. “That it had been way too long.” She let out a breath. “And that I wished it had happened sooner.”

It was the truth. She hadn’t really thought about it that deeply when it happened, or at all since. But that was it. For some reason, it felt like regret. Like she hadn’t realized until the moment she’d seen her that she’d made a mistake in letting so much time pass.

Jess’ eyes flicked down as Sam plucked another pebble from the pile. She threw it, and it bounced off the edge, skittering across the ground. Sam frowned, resting her elbows back on her knees.

Jess chuckled as she picked up the next rock. “Wishing you’d picked a different game now?”

Sam snorted a laugh. “I’m just warming up.”

Jess tossed the next one, easily landing it in the cup.

“Did you date anyone in the last four years?”

She thought for a moment. “What do you define as ‘dated’?”

Jess rolled her eyes, leaning past her to grab another pebble. “That’s the only answer I need.”

Sam laughed, turning to look at her. Jess shivered, shifting slightly closer to her. Their arms brushed against each other, and Sam suddenly wished she’d brought a jacket that night so she could’ve given it to her.

Without a word, Sam leaned down and picked up a pebble, angling her body slightly toward Jess to keep the subtle contact between them. Her eyes flicked to the cup in the distance, narrowing with focus before tossing the pebble with a quick flick of her wrist.

It landed perfectly.

“Did you date anyone?” she asked, turning to Jess. “I mean, before Liz.”

Jess shrugged lightly. “There was one girl,” she said. “It wasn’t that serious, though.”

Sam nodded, wondering how serious she and Liz really had been. From the outside, they’d seemed serious enough. Especially if Jess had met her parents.

Jess threw the pebble and missed.

Sam picked one up and tossed it, making it in. “Were you and Liz serious?”

Jess pursed her lips, eyes dropping to the ground in front of them. She was quiet for a long while, and Sam began to wonder if it was too soon to ask that question.

Finally, Jess replied, “Yes.”

Some small uncomfortable feeling tugged at her gut.

“And no,” Jess breathed. She shook her head slightly. “I don’t know. It was—complicated.” Sam watched her carefully, taking in every detail in the way she crinkled her eyes and chewed her lip.

“It just felt like there was always something ,” she continued. “Like, for some reason, we could never just be—happy—or okay.”

Sam watched her, wondering what she would’ve said about them. Wondering if she would’ve said something similar.

But the thing was, they were always happy. Even when there was something— they’d always been happy when they were together.

Jess stayed quiet for another moment before throwing the next rock. It landed in the cup with a thud.

And still, she stayed quiet, watching it for a long moment.

“All out of questions?” Sam asked in a teasing tone, trying to break whatever seemed to be plaguing Jess at that moment.

But still, Jess stared at the cup, an intensity filling her features.

Then finally, she turned to her.

“Why didn’t you call again after that first time?”

Sam stared at her, her heartbeat quickening in her chest.

There were so many things that flowed through her mind. So many potential answers, but none of them fit. None of them really seemed to answer the question. And maybe, still, after all these years, she didn’t know what that answer was.

“I don’t know,” Sam said softly.

Jess stared at her with more intensity than she’d seen since the moment they’d first run into each other again.

Then, finally, she turned away.

Sam wanted to say something else. Something that would let Jess know how complicated the answer was. That it wasn’t just something she’d never thought about or never considered. But she didn’t know how to say it.

She turned, picking up another rock.

She threw it, landing in the cup.

And before she could second guess it, she asked the first question that came to mind.

“Did you want me to call you again?”

Jess didn’t look at her. She didn’t even move a muscle as she said, “I don’t know.”

She’d halfway expected that answer. It was what she deserved after having just given her the same. But still, she couldn’t let it go.

“Did you?” she asked again, watching her.

Jess reached past her, grabbing another pebble. “One question only,” she muttered. “Those are the rules, right?”

She threw the rock immediately, easily landing it in the cup.

But Sam couldn’t focus on anything else. Some long-buried feeling had surfaced, gripping her attention and refusing to let go.

“Did you want me to call you again?”

Jess turned to her, something resembling challenging anger in her eyes. “Why should I have to answer that if you didn’t?”

Sam’s jaw tightened. “I did answer.”

Jess pursed her lips, shaking her head as she looked away. “That wasn’t an answer.”

“Did you want me to call you—”

“What do you want me to say, Sam?” Jess asked, whipping her head back to look at her, anger flaring in her eyes. “You want me to tell you that I waited for you? That, for days, I was disappointed every time someone called and the name on the screen wasn’t yours?”

Sam swallowed, a mix of feelings bubbling into her chest.

“You want me to tell you how bad it hurt to know I wasn’t even worth a second phone call? That after weeks of waiting, I—” Jess’ voice cracked slightly, and Sam resisted the urge to take her hand. “I cried myself to sleep because it felt like I’d lost you all over again. For the millionth time in my life, I—”

She stopped as her voice broke.The side of her body moved against Sam’s arm with a heavy breath.

“I’m sorry—”

Jess shook her head. “It doesn’t matter,” she said, looking at her with that burning gaze. “Because you didn’t call again.” She choked out a dry laugh that made Sam’s heart ache in her chest. “And maybe you really don’t know why. And if you don’t know, then it’s probably a good thing you never called again.”

Sam swallowed, shifting closer as she felt Jess’ body shiver.

“I thought—” Sam started, her own voice sounding more fragile than she’d expected. “I thought that if you wanted to talk, you would’ve called me back.”

Jess shook her head slightly, staring off into the distance.

“You weren’t the only one waiting,” Sam continued. “And yeah, when I saw you that day. When I saw you with Liz, I—” She swallowed as Jess turned, looking at her. She searched for any word she could find, forcing herself to say how she felt—what she wanted. “I wanted—”

Her phone began ringing in her pocket, and she paused. Jess’ eyes flicked down, looking at it before looking back up at her.

Sam sighed, reaching a hand in her pocket and pulling it out.

Tiana’s name filled the screen.

She swiped it open, holding it up to her ear. “What’s up?”

“Where are you guys?” Tiana asked, a soft murmur of voices in the background.

“We went for a walk,” Sam answered. “It’s not really a good time—”

“Do you have the room key?”

Sam pursed her lips, running a hand over her face. “Yeah. Why?”

“I didn’t bring mine. I need you to let me into the room.”

Sam loosed a breath, tilting her head back as she stared up into the dark sky.

“I mean, if you’re busy or something, though, I could ask someone at the front desk to help me get in,” Tiana muttered.

Sam closed her eyes, shaking her head. “No, it’s fine. I’ll come back and let you in.”

She caught the look on Jess’ face, her lips pressed into a firm line as she pushed up off the curb to stand.

“I’ll meet you at the room in a few minutes,” she said before hanging up.

Sam stood, pushing the phone into her back pocket. “Sorry,” she muttered. “Tiana needs the room key—”

“It’s fine,” Jess said, brushing her off as she started walking back down the path they'd come from.