13. Chapter 13

Chapter thirteen

A harsh cough wheezed from her throat as she blinked at the computer screen in front of her.

Sam had awoken that morning to chills and aches all over her body. So, as much as she hated it, she’d cancelled her meetings for the day and started work from her apartment instead.

Although, after just a couple of hours, it was a struggle to even sit upright, much less focus on work.

Her phone buzzed, and she picked it up, seeing Scarlett’s picture fill the screen.

“Hey,” she said, her voice rasping into the phone.

“Well, you sound like shit.”

Sam groaned. “I feel like shit.”

Scarlett snorted a laugh. “So I guess you don’t want to grab coffee, then?”

As much as she wanted to get an energy boost to power through a few more hours of work, she knew that was probably the last thing her body really needed.

“I wish,” she grumbled, closing her eyes as she leaned her head back against the chair. “But I don’t think so.”

She heard Scarlett say something to someone else before she said, “Alright rain check. Get some sleep or something. You need to feel better for the trip next weekend.”

Sam hummed. In the craziness of work, she’d almost entirely forgotten about the bachelorette weekend she’d agreed to.

“Yeah. I’m on it,” she mumbled.

Scarlett said something else she couldn’t really make out before the phone went dead.

And right as she was about to set it back down, it buzzed again, this time with a new text.

Jess’ name popped up.

Jess Miller: Are you home?

She typed out a quick answer.

Yeah. Why?

She waited a few moments, watching as the typing bubble appeared, then disappeared again. She waited another few moments without another text popping up, then set the phone back down.

Thirty minutes later, a light knock on the door pulled her from her daze.

She walked to it, each step an immense effort.

The foggy thought floated through her head that Caleb must’ve needed to drop off some work documents and forgot to let her know.

She pulled the door open, only half aware as the person on the other side came into view.

“Oh,” she rasped, surprised.

Jess looked back at her with a pained smile. “Scar was right. You do sound bad.”

Sam let out a weak laugh, the sound catching in her throat. “I’ve been better.”

Jess held up a plastic bag tied at the top. “I went to that place you mentioned the other day. Brought some soup, in case you were hungry.”

Sam grimaced, pressing a knuckle to her temple to dull the pounding ache behind her eyes. “Thanks,” she mumbled, stepping back to let Jess in. “I don’t really have an appetite, though.”

Jess stepped around her, heading straight to the small kitchen area.

Sam shuffled back to the couch, sinking into the cushions with a low groan as Jess opened the fridge.

“Do you really have no food here?” Jess asked with a laugh.

Sam shrugged, the slight movement sending aches up her shoulders and into her pounding forehead.“Doesn’t make sense to,” she mumbled. “I’m never home.”

“So what would you do if you got hungry today?” Jess asked, coming around the side of the couch and giving her a pointed look. “Starve?”

The corner of Sam’s lip tugged upward into a smirk. “I’d wait for my amazing friend to surprise me with food.”

Jess bit back a grin, rolling her eyes. “Right.” She glanced away, eyes trailing through the apartment. “Tiana didn’t come to bring you anything?”

Sam watched her for a moment, wondering why she would’ve expected her to do that. But maybe that’s the kind of thing a friend like Scarlett would’ve done. Not Tiana, though. It wasn’t her style.

“No,” Sam breathed, closing her eyes. “She avoids sickness at all costs.”

Jess nodded, still looking around the apartment.

“You probably shouldn’t be in here either,” Sam muttered. “You might get sick.”

“I doubt it,” Jess said dryly. “Unlike you, I get more than four hours of sleep a night, so my immune system is still intact.”

Sam smirked, keeping her eyes closed.

Jess was quiet for a moment before she asked, “Do you want me to go?”

Sam opened her eyes, turning her head towards her. She didn’t, even if she really should be focusing on work. It felt nice to have someone there. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had come to check on her when she wasn’t feeling well.

“No,” Sam said softly.

Jess’s small smile wavered as her gaze caught on something behind Sam. Her expression shifted as she looked back at her with an incredulous glare. “Were you seriously working before I got here?”

Sam followed her line of sight to the glowing computer screens, casting a faint, blue-tinged light across the room. “I had stuff to do,” she muttered as a cough clawed its way up from her chest.

She bent forward, the cough rattling through her lungs like it had been waiting for its chance. By the time it finally subsided, her body felt impossibly heavy. A shiver rolled through her, and she crossed her arms over her chest for warmth.

Jess didn’t say anything, but Sam could feel her watching. A moment later, Jess leaned forward, reaching out to rest the back of her hand gently against her forehead.

Sam’s eyes fluttered closed as she leaned into the cool touch.

“You have a fever,” Jess stated, pulling her hand away.“You should be sleeping.”

Sam let out a sigh. “I already tried.”

The couch dipped, and she opened her eyes to find Jess sitting beside her, brows drawn into that same familiar crease of concern. It was the look Jess always wore when she cared more than she let on.

“Want to watch a movie, then?” Jess asked softly.

A small smirk formed on Sam’s lips. “Yeah, but I swear, if you put on a scary movie, I’ll get right back up and start working again.”

Jess chuckled, reaching forward to grab the remote off the coffee table in front of them. “No scary movies.” She clicked the power button on the remote. “I can’t deal with you squealing every five seconds.”

Sam smiled to herself, closing her eyes once again as she turned her body and settled further into the couch. Her shoulders shook lightly as another round of chills moved through her body.

“Do you have blankets somewhere?”

Sam hummed. “On the bed.”

Jess’ footsteps padded away on the hardwood floor, then returned a moment later.

Warm fabric draped down gently over her legs, and she opened her eyes again when she felt Jess sit back down beside her.

She watched her, too tired to care that she was blatantly staring as Jess clicked through the TV.

And it struck her how lucky she was to have someone like her in her life. Actually, she couldn’t quite imagine how she’d gone so many years without her. It hadn’t felt like a long time when it was happening, but now that they were in each other’s lives again, it felt impossible to have ever gone without her. Or anyone that truly cared about her in that way.

Jess set the remote down on the couch beside her as something began playing. Then she pulled her knees up to her chest, leaning back into the couch.

After a moment, she turned, looking back at her. “What?” she asked with a curious half-smile.

There was so much she wanted to say. So much that built up inside her. But it was just a feeling. And she didn’t know which words would do it justice.

“I’m just—” Sam paused, the fogginess of the fever making it near impossible to think coherently. She blinked, letting out a breath. “Thank you for being here.” She swallowed against the raw burning in her throat. “Thanks for being such a good friend. Even after all this time.”

Jess gave her a small smile before looking back at the TV. “You don’t need to thank me.”

“Yeah I do,” Sam whispered.

Jess’ smile fell from her face slightly. “Would you really expect me to not show up when you need help?”

Sam stayed silent, watching the way the light of the TV flickered across her face.

“You were going to do the same for me the other day,” Jess said, still looking straight ahead. “It’s no different.”

But it was different. It didn’t feel like it meant anything when she offered.

And maybe that was the difference. Maybe to Jess, it was no big deal.

But Jess showing up felt like—something.

“Why didn’t you tell me you guys broke up that day?” Sam asked quietly.

The muscle in Jess’ jaw shifted, the light from the TV flickering across it.

“You think I wanted to immediately tell—” She paused, as if contemplating her next words carefully. “My ex —about my freshly failed relationship?”

Sam blinked, absorbing her choice of words. Her mind clung to them, unable to process the rest. And she couldn’t help the smile that formed around the edges of her lips.

Jess gave her a sideways glance, instantly rolling her eyes. “Don’t—”

“That’s the first time you’ve called me that,” Sam said, laughter bubbling through her lips.

Maybe it should’ve made her feel bad in some way. It probably would have for most people—being reminded that they were the person of the past. But really, it did the opposite for her. It made what they had finally feel real. Like even though they’d never officially declared anything about what they were to each other, at least Jess felt like it was as serious as she did. As serious as what she had with Liz.

Jess groaned, but her own laughter came through with it. “I knew you wouldn’t let that slide.”

Sam’s grin widened, but she forced it down, relaxing her head back onto the couch.“You still could’ve told me.”

Jess snorted a dry laugh. “It was bad enough finding out I was dating your childhood best friend,” she muttered. “You guys comparing notes on the breakup and failed relationship would’ve been even worse.”

Sam pursed her lips, the words stirring uncomfortably within her. “You and I never broke up.”

Jess gave her a sidelong, pointed look. “Right.”

Sam’s brows pulled together as she shifted, sitting up straighter. “We didn’t,” she repeated, mustering whatever energy she could. “We never—”

Failed.

She stopped herself as that word entered her mind. It probably wasn’t important to Jess. The ending was the same. And maybe to her it was all the same as what she’d just gone through with Liz.

But for some reason, she didn’t want her to think of it that way. She wanted her to realize that they’d never really fully tried in the first place.

So how could she think they’d ever failed?

“We never really tried,” Sam whispered, more to herself. “So we never really—” Sam paused, swallowing. “Failed.”

Jess looked back at her, but her eyes held an unreadable look. Something careful—almost guarded.

And after a long moment, she finally turned, looking back at the TV.

At some point, Sam felt her eyelids begin to flutter closed. She couldn’t tell how long it had been, but the fever seemed to be taking over, pulling her from consciousness.

Her head bobbed, and she caught herself, tugging it upward as she blinked, trying to stay awake.

“Wanna try to sleep now?” Jess asked softly.

“No,” Sam said quickly, straightening up. Now that she’d had Jess there with her, the thought of her leaving felt lonely.

“I’m good,” she said, the words tumbling out in a muffled rasp. “Not tired.”

Jess cocked one eyebrow. “You’re lying.”

Sam smirked, letting her eyes close as she pulled the blanket up around her chest.

And when she heard Jess’ footsteps moving through the apartment a moment later, she couldn’t muster the energy to open her eyes to see what she was doing.

“Put this between your arms,” Jess’ soft voice said a few moments later.

Sam cracked her heavy eyes open, seeing Jess standing in front of her, holding two pillows.

She smiled, her eyes blinking lazily. “You still remember that?”

A look of something resembling hurt flashed through Jess’ eyes. And maybe if she felt better, she’d be able to figure out what she’d said that was wrong. But even then, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to figure it out.

“Of course I do,” Jess answered, holding one of the pillows out.

Sam pulled her legs up and turned her body until she was laying across the couch. Jess placed one of the pillows between her open arms, then motioned at her knees.

Sam spread them, taking the second pillow and placing it between them.“You forgot the third one,” she mumbled. And even through the thick feverish fog, those words felt familiar. Some memory they might have shared in a different lifetime.

“You don’t need it. Just lean your back into the couch,” Jess replied, her eyes trailing over the setup. After a moment, she nodded with a satisfied look, then sat down in the small space that was left.

Sam let her body sink into the couch, every inch of her aching and heavy, but something about Jess being there took the edge off the fever’s grip. She pressed her cheek into the cool pillow, Jess’ leg resting lightly against her own.

For a few minutes, they stayed like that, the sound of the movie a low hum in the background. Sam’s thoughts swam in and out of focus. But she kept herself awake—aware enough to still feel Jess’ presence beside her.

“Sam?” Jess’s voice cut through the haze, soft but steady.

“Hmm?” Sam mumbled, eyelids fluttering open.

“I’ll still stay if you want, but you really need to sleep,” Jess said, her voice dropping to a near whisper.

Sam exhaled slowly, letting those words sink in. She hadn’t realized until now how much she needed to hear them. That she didn’t have to keep pushing herself. That someone would be there. And that she wasn’t alone.

She shifted, settling deeper into the couch, the weight of the blankets and pillows a welcome pressure on her sore body. “Kay,” she mumbled.

Jess shifted beside her, adjusting her position on the couch, but Sam felt the warmth of her still there, still close. And that was enough. More than enough.

Sam’s breathing slowed, her body finally surrendering to the exhaustion that had been clawing at her for days. But this time, as she drifted off, she didn’t feel the usual isolation pressing down on her.

Sam cracked her eyes open, watching her for a long moment, not having enough energy to tear her eyes away from the one thing that brought her some sense of calm relief.

Jess glanced down, a soft smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “I’m not going anywhere.”