10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten

S am stared down at the laptop, the movements of the people in the coffee shop blurring around her.

She’d needed to get away from the office that day. And her apartment too. She just needed somewhere separate. Somewhere she wouldn’t feel the sense of crushing stress, but also didn’t feel entirely alone.

So, she’d settled for the coffee shop a few blocks from her apartment.

It hadn’t been a terrible choice. At least not at first. But as the day progressed, the stress did too.

She typed out a line of code, headphones blasting music so loudly she could barely make out the lyrics.

She deleted the line, immediately retyping a few more before releasing a frustrated breath. Then she punched a finger down on the delete key, erasing all the work she’d completed over the last thirty minutes.

Her phone buzzed in her lap with yet another text from Caleb, directly followed by one from a developer with some new changes for her to approve.

The words on the screen blurred together as she blinked away the tired haze covering her eyes.

More than anything, she wished she could just shut her laptop, take her motorcycle, and ride for hours on some empty road far away from it all. She imagined the nip of the wind whipping against her—the road whirring by so fast she couldn’t think about anything else, even if she wanted to.

The phone buzzed in her lap again.

This time with an email. Another developer. The first few words of a question filled the notification preview.

She sighed, leaning back in the chair as she swiped the phone open.

Texts were usually the most urgent, so it would be best to reply to those first.

She glanced at the first few unopened conversations, but her eyes didn’t stop. They continued downward. All the way down to the thread with Jess where she’d sent her the address to her apartment.

She stared at it for a moment, her thumb hovering above.

They hadn’t spoken since the soccer game. And maybe if she was really honest with herself, she’d admit that she sort of wished Jess would reach out. Even if it was just to follow up on the PR packet she’d given her.

But she hadn’t.

Sam slowly tapped on the message thread, watching as it expanded across the screen.

She stared at it for a moment, ready to click back out and resume the endless list of things she had to do.But the very thought of doing that brought on a sense of dread so strong it bordered on nausea.

She stared down at Jess’ name, swallowing as she clicked on her contact.

And then, as if moving on its own, her finger tapped the call button.

She blinked once, snapping back to reality for a split second as she held the phone up to her ear.

It barely finished the first ring before Jess’ voice came through.

“Hey,” she said, somehow sounding both exuberant and soft all in one.

And just the sound of it was enough to quell the dread within her.

It took a second before she remembered she had to say something back.

“Uh—hey,” she said, clearing her throat and straightening up in the cushioned leather chair.

Jess was quiet for a moment, as if waiting for her to say more—to explain why she’d called. But she didn’t know what else to say. Actually, she had no idea why she’d called in the first place.

She cleared her throat again, rubbing a rough hand against the back of her neck. “Sorry—uh—hope I’m not interrupting you at work or anything.”

She cringed, hating herself for not having thought this through more.

Voices murmured in the background, and she could hear the phone shuffling around before Jess said, “No. Perfect timing, actually. I just got out of my last meeting.”

Sam nodded, wracking her brain for words that refused to come.

“Oh,” she muttered. “Good. That’s—good.”

She squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she could hang up and Jess would forget she ever called.

“So you looked over the packet I dropped off?” Jess asked.

Sam blinked. “What?”

More shifting crackled through the phone, along with more murmuring voices. “The PR stuff,” Jess answered. “You’re ready to go over it?”

“Oh—yeah,” Sam said, the words tumbling out. “Yeah, of course.” She shifted, changing the phone to her other hand. “That’s why I called.”

“Great,” Jess said, not missing a beat. “Do you want to text me some days and times that work? Your schedule is probably busier than mine, so just let me know what’s best for you.”

Sam swallowed, staring down at the laptop in front of her as a new string of emails appeared. They kept coming, like a swarm of bees attacking from every angle. Different words jumped out at her, each with their own version of some new urgent problem she couldn’t ignore.

“Sam?” Jess’ soft voice came through the phone.

She shook her head, promptly shutting the laptop.

“Yeah. Sorry.”

Jess was quiet for a moment before she finally spoke again. “Actually, are you free now?”

“Yes,” Sam breathed, the word shooting from her mouth like water expelling from half drowned lungs.

***

Jess took a sip of her coffee as her eyes trailed over the papers splayed across the table before them.

“So,” she started, setting the cup down. “These give an overview of some different strategies we could use, if you wanted to.”

Sam glanced down at the papers, each word blurring together. She nodded slowly, feeling Jess’ lingering gaze.

“Or,” Jess said softly, leaning back in her chair, “we don’t have to go over these right now. We could talk about something else first.”

Sam looked up at her, head cocking to the side in question.

Jess shot her a pointed look, tapping her finger lightly against the arm of the chair.

“I’m sorry,” Sam mumbled, shaking her head. She ran both hands over the front of her face, rubbing her palms roughly against her eyes. “I’m just—distracted—I guess.”

“With?” Jess prodded gently.

Sam sighed, falling back into the chair. “Everything.”

Jess nodded slowly. “The clients? Or the buyout?”

“Both,” Sam breathed, finally feeling a small ounce of relief in the dam that had built up within her over the last few weeks. “The buyout mainly.”

She could feel Jess’ eyes on her, watching—deciphering. “Has it been hard working with Liz?” she asked quietly.

“No,” Sam said immediately, shaking her head. And it was true. Although it was weird being around Liz again, especially while she was dating Jess, it wasn’t bad. Or at least, not entirely bad. “It’s fine. She’s—fine.”

Jess snorted a dry laugh. “That doesn’t sound super convincing.”

Sam smirked. “She’s—competitive.” She glanced up at Jess. “But I guess you already know that.”

Jess hummed, looking away. “Seems like she’s more competitive with you than anyone else.”

It was true. It had always been like that, ever since they were kids. Something about it did feel different now, though. Some undertone of seriousness, or added stakes, that had never been there before.

She didn’t want to think about that, though. She didn’t want to think about work, or Liz, or any of it.

Sam forced it all away, letting every thought fall away until all that remained was the present moment, and what was right in front of her.

“So,” she started, an amused smile tugging on her lips, “how’d things go the other day with the dresses? Did you need Tess’ help?”

Jess smirked, her eyes holding challenging amusement. But she stayed silent.

Sam’s smile only grew beneath the weight of Jess’ gaze. “What?” she asked with a laugh.

“You always do that when something’s bothering you.”

The edges of Sam’s smile faltered. “Do what?”

“Put all your focus on something.” Jess ran a hand through her hair, brushing the long blonde locks over her shoulder.

“What am I focused on now?” Sam asked quietly, the rest of the smile falling from her lips.

Jess looked at her for a long moment before finally glancing away, her throat bobbing as she swallowed. “Me.”

The word hung in the air.

Sam looked down at the table, letting a weighted silence fall between them.

After a long moment, Jess finally spoke again.

“You know, you could’ve just told me you wanted to hang out and talk,” she said quietly. “We’re friends. You don’t need an excuse to call me.”

Sam’s eyes flitted up, finding Jess’ once again. A memory floated into her mind. One she’d pushed down, far away.

And even though she knew she shouldn’t say it aloud—that bringing up their past wasn’t a good idea—she couldn’t help herself.

“I called you once.”

Jess stilled, but Sam could tell by the look in her eyes that she knew exactly what she was referring to. Still, she felt the need to continue.

“A year after—” Sam paused, swallowing. “After I left New York.”

A muscle flickered in Jess’ jaw, and her eyes fell to her lap as she whispered, “I know.”

She knew why Jess hadn’t answered. She hadn’t even really expected her to. But still, she just needed to say it out loud and know once and for all that Jess knew she’d at least tried. Even if it was just one phone call.

“You didn’t pick up,” Sam said, barely above a whisper.

Jess sighed, closing her eyes. “I know.”

Silence fell between them once more, and after a few moments, Sam knew that Jess wouldn’t say anything more.

“I’m sorry,” Sam said, releasing a deep breath. “I know I should’ve just called and asked to talk. It’s just—” She paused, shaking her head slightly. “I guess I still don’t really know how to navigate this whole friends thing while you’re—” She swallowed, the next words feeling odd in her mouth. “With someone.”

“I know the feeling,” Jess muttered. Sam waited for her to elaborate, not exactly knowing what she meant by that. But instead, Jess just shook her head lightly before continuing. “But it’s the same as it always was.”

Sam smirked, shooting her a look. “Well, I wouldn’t say it’s exactly like it was.”

Jess broke out into a laugh, her cheeks turning a light pink. “You know what I mean.”

Sam chuckled, grinning as the weight of the words she’d spoken a few moments before began to ease.

“I’m glad we can be friends again though,” she said, the wide grin on her lips relaxing into a soft smile. “Even if it’s hard to get used to with things being—different.”

Jess looked back at her, a serious expression pulling through her gaze. “Did you not think we would ever be friends again?”

Sam held her gaze.

It’d taken her so long to even allow herself to think about Jess after they’d ended things in New York. And then, in those rare moments when she finally had, those thoughts held no speck of optimism. They couldn’t. It almost felt like a matter of survival. Because if she did let herself think—or believe—that they could be something to each other again, then she’d question the choices she’d made that led her to leaving in the first place.

And she couldn’t afford that. She couldn’t afford for any seeds of doubt to seep in.

Doubt is the enemy to success. The enemy of everything she’d worked for.

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly.

Jess’ gaze flicked away, her expression shifting ever so slightly—just enough for Sam to see the answer she’d given wasn’t satisfactory in some way.

But before she could ask why, Jess’ phone vibrated on the table, pulling their attention away.

Jess glanced down, her brows pinching together as she picked it up, swiping the screen with a small frown.

Sam looked away, taking a slow sip of her coffee while she waited.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” Jess muttered, already rising from her seat.

She stood from the seat, raising the phone to her ear as she walked toward the front door and out onto the sidewalk.

Sam watched her for a moment before opening her laptop. A handful of new messages had come through in the short time they’d been talking. She released a deep exhale through her nose, opening the most recent one.

As she read through, making notes on the latest developments around an issue they’d been working through, Jess trudged back toward the table.

“Sorry,” she muttered, sitting back down in the chair, her eyes still fixed on her phone as she typed something out.

Sam watched her for a moment before closing her laptop. “Everything okay?”

Jess continued typing, her brow furrowed. Then finally, she sighed, setting the phone back on the table, faced down. “Yeah. Just something with Liz.”

Sam nodded slowly, waiting for the frown to leave Jess’ face.

It didn’t.

“Do you need to go?” Sam finally asked, hating the disappointment she felt just at saying those words aloud.

Jess looked down at her phone, biting her lip as if contemplating. Then, eventually, she blew out a deep breath. “No.”

A beat passed before Jess looked up at her. Apprehension laced her features, like she was trying to decide whether or not to elaborate.

“We just—” Jess started, before pausing. “Liz wanted to go look at an apartment today.”

Sam remained quiet, trying to figure out why that would’ve been a problem.

“For us,” Jess continued slowly.

“Oh,” Sam blurted, the realization catching her off guard. “I thought you liked your apartment, though? Didn’t you just move in?”

Jess sighed, some of the tension leaving her face as she slouched back in the chair. “I do. And yeah, I did.”

Sam’s brow furrowed. “But you want to move somewhere else?”

“No,” Jess replied, irritation lacing the word. “I told her I didn’t want to go look at it. But I guess she made the appointment, anyway.”

“Ah,” Sam muttered with a slow nod, as everything finally fell into place.

Jess pursed her lips, glancing off to the side. “Yeah.”

She knew she might not enjoy hearing the details of their relationship, but still, there were questions she wanted to ask. Questions to help Jess talk out whatever was upsetting her. Although, given their past, she might not have been the most appropriate person to ask.

But that’s what they were to each other now—friends. And if she wanted that to work out, then that was something she’d need to work through.

“So you guys are moving in together?” Sam asked, mustering the best smile she could.

Jess gave her an almost appreciative half smile that made it clear she knew what she was trying to do.

Then the smile fell as she replied, “No. We’re not.”

Sam’s brows knitted together as the small understanding she thought she’d gained faded back into confusion.

Jess looked away again, like she was deciding what she should or shouldn’t say.

“Sorry,” Sam said. “I didn’t mean to ask—”

“No,” Jess cut in, shaking her head. “No, it’s okay.”

The phone buzzed on the table, and Jess’ eyes flicked down for a split second before looking back up and giving her a tight smile. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I just—I’m not sure it’d be fair to Liz to talk about our issues with..”

“Me?” Sam finished as Jess left the unspoken word hanging in the air.

Jess frowned. “Anyone.” She let out a deep sigh, running a hand through her hair. “But yeah.”

Sam smiled softly. “You’re a good girlfriend. She’s lucky to have you.”

Jess’ lips quirked upward in a teasing smile. “See, and you’re biased. You’d probably just take my side regardless and make me think I’m right about everything.”

Sam tilted her head back, laughing. “Oh, I don’t know about that,” she lied. “I could probably find a few things if you really wanted me to.”

Jess’ eyes narrowed as she shot her a teasing glare. “I doubt it.”

The phone buzzed again, this time continuing in an incessant rhythm.

Jess looked down at it, the previous amusement in her eyes fading. She loosed a breath as she plucked it off the table, glancing at the screen.

She pressed the side button, muting the vibration, then looked back up at Sam with an apologetic smile.“I better go.”

Sam nodded, offering her a small, reassuring smile. “Yeah. I understand.”

Jess stood, reaching for her large black purse that hung on the back of her chair.“Sorry I couldn’t stay longer to go over everything.”

“That’s okay,” Sam replied, shaking her head.

“Do you have time to meet tomorrow? Maybe over lunch or something?” Jess asked, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

Sam hummed, tilting her head back as she mentally ran through her schedule—the meetings, the deadlines, and the stretches of time she’d carved out to focus.

“Yeah,” she said after a beat. “That should work.”

“Great,” Jess said with a nod, the smile just barely touching the edges of her eyes. “I’ll come by your office around then.”