31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Christian

I didn't believe I was this capable of so much anger directed at Darren, who sat on the bed watching me with an unreadable face. After everything we'd gone through and all that we'd both sacrificed to get him to where he was, just for him to turn around and throw it away like yesterday's garbage!

I paced back and forth in his dorm room, fisting my hands at my sides. His roommate was off somewhere, and it was just as well because he was also on the football team, and if he learned what Darren had done…

"You're not quitting! You love football. It's your life, Dare! Your dream!"

He folded his arms over his chest like the stubborn bastard that he was. "You're my life. You're my home. Nothing is more important than that."

"Dammit, Dare! You can have both. "

"It's too late. What's done is done. It's only a matter of time before your asshole roommate turns me and Dillon in for assault. And I'd do it all over again if I had to."

It had been three days since my attack, so I doubted Mark was going to turn Darren and Dillon in to the cops. That would mean he'd have to confess to what he'd done to me. No doubt he was terrified of Darren, too.

I tossed my hands in the air, exasperated with him. "Fuck! You never listen. It's always ‘ do what Darren wants .' What about what I want? Huh? I want you to play football. To not give up your dreams. I've been supporting you all the way, and you're not about to throw it away like fucking stinking trash."

"I love it when you swear, baby."

I turned my back on him, trying not to smirk, and rolled my eyes to the heavens, asking why I was saddled with the most stubborn and beautiful man in the world. After taking a deep breath, I reined it in and turned back to him. "Stop changing the subject! Ugh, you're so frustrating sometimes!"

Darren waved me over to the bed. "Come sit next to me. I wanna hold you."

"No, I'm not about to let you sweet talk me into doing your bidding again."

He sighed and rubbed his face. "All my time with school and football took you away from me, and look at what happened to you."

My face was still bruised and battered. I'd called my professors to tell them I was sick for the next few days, to at least let some of the bruising go away.

"That was a fluke, and not your fault. It was Mark's. It had nothing to do with your busy schedule. It was boiling up, and it would've happened, regardless. "

I finally sat down on the edge of the bed and grabbed his hand, playing with his fingers. "Now, I'm going to tell you something, so don't interrupt and bully me into taking your side."

"Bully? But—"

"Dare…" I warned.

He huffed. "Fine."

"Yeah, I struggled a bit with you gone all the time. I couldn't focus, and I'd been lost about what I wanted to do with my life. And I was really lonely. After what I just went through and not having my support system with me to fall back on… it's been hard. But that's not your fault. It's mine. I've been so wrapped up in your life that I lost mine, which is still not your fault. We talked about this a long time ago. I need to learn not to lean on you so much. That I can achieve my own goals while you achieve yours. Many couples do this all the time. I just need a direction, which is my burden to bear."

Darren yanked me onto his lap and cradled my body before kissing my nose. "That's where you're wrong. It's not your burden to bear. It's ours. You should've come to me and talked to me about what was bothering you. We could've figured all this out together."

I tried to push him away, which only made him hold me tighter. "No, Dare. This time, it's about me. I need to do this for myself. I…"

He pressed a finger under my chin and lifted my face to look at him. "What? Don't stop."

"I need to know I can figure out my life without help. I haven't been feeling so strong and confident lately, so I want to try to get it back, and the only way to do that is on my own."

He frowned and furrowed his brow. "What do you mean? If you're saying what I think you're saying, then you can forget it. I'm not letting you go. No way. We're not breaking up."

"What?" Okay, the thought had crossed my mind at one point, but I was feeling better about everything. "That's not what I'm implying. I'm only saying that I need to figure out things without you breathing down my neck. Not literally, but you can be… overwhelming sometimes when you're determined. Just let me figure this out." I pressed a hand to his chest. "But if I need help, I'll come to you, okay?"

"Fine."

He was so cute when he pouted, and I kissed his lips, hoping to assuage his disappointment at being unable to control everything around him.

"And no more beating people up on my behalf. I love that you want to take care of and protect me, but it's not worth it if I lose you. You've got to rein in your temper, baby."

"I did rein in my temper. Mark's alive, isn't he? Because when I saw your face, I wanted him fucking dead."

I unintentionally shuddered. His protectiveness was scary but also pretty hot, which was something I'd never tell him. His ego was big enough.

"Just stop using your fists to fix things. How about that?"

"I'll try, but I can't guarantee anything if I find you beat up again."

"I guess that'll have to do. And you're not quitting football—end of story. Full stop. No more arguing."

Darren kissed my nose again and smirked. "I love it when you're bossy."

I rolled my eyes. "Pain in the ass. Do you agree, Dare?"

"I agree that I'm a pain in the ass."

A snort escaped me despite doing everything possible to remain serious.

"But it all may be moot if he turns me in to the cops," he said.

"He won't. He would've done so already."

I sat up, straddled his lap, and pulled his face into a kiss. "Do great things, Dare. I'm going nowhere. Never give up your dreams. While you're making yours, I'll find mine, although you make my life so much better."

"I make your life difficult," he said, looking away from me.

"Never. All couples struggle, baby. No relationship is perfect. I just have to be more communicative about my needs. I'd just been afraid to get in the way of your dreams, which was stupid of me."

"I love you."

I cupped his cock. "Do you want to show me how much?"

Despite him growing hard at my touch, he frowned and furrowed his brows. "Maybe you should take it easy for a bit longer. He nearly raped you, Chris."

"But he didn't. I fought him off in the end."

"Yeah, that was pretty amazing and showed how strong you are, but when I found you…"

"Don't do this. Don't deny me because you believe I can't be touched now. Let me decide that. Yes, Mark hurt me and scared the shit out of me, but I didn't allow him to do worse. I'm okay, Dare. And I'm weirdly proud of myself for fighting back and being able to run."

"I'm proud of you, too."

Darren rolled me onto my back and dragged his fingers along my face before moving up to my hair as he stared down with loving eyes that still held a touch of worry. "I miss your hair."

"It'll grow back."

Darren leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, easing his tongue into my mouth. He tasted like spearmint from the gum he'd been chewing earlier, and he smelled like home. His kisses were gentle, since my face and lips still hurt.

He pulled away and peppered whisper-soft kisses on my face wherever I had injuries.

"Remember when I said on our first date that I would burn the world to the ground for the right person?"

I stared up into his pretty green eyes, threading my hands through his blond strands. "I remember and will never forget that day."

"You realize that you're my forever person, right? "

I smiled up at him. "I know, but I would never ask you to take on the world for me."

"You won't have to."

Darren lifted me to peel off my shirt, tossing it to the floor. Then he worked my jeans and underwear off.

My dick perked up, excited to be having some fun. I was grateful Darren listened to me and didn't hold back.

He spread my legs and sat between them, still dressed. "Get naked, Dare."

"No. This is all about you. I want to spoil you."

My stomach fluttered in warmth at his sweetness, reminding me of all the ways I loved Darren Wilson, even if he was a stubborn pain in the ass. But he was my pain in the ass.

His calloused hands explored my body as if seeing it for the first time, sending chills along my skin. He leaned down and continued his kissing until he reached my leaking dick.

When he swallowed me down, his pretty green eyes landed on mine so he could watch me get wrecked by him. He was good at taking me all the way to the root, but I wasn't exactly large, either.

While his tongue teasingly played with my sensitive areas, he shoved his index finger into my mouth. He popped off and watched me suck him. "So hot… get my finger nice and wet."

He went back to my cock as I covered his finger in my spit.

I pulsed and leaked into his mouth, warmth spreading around my groin area. He pulled out his finger, dragging a trail of saliva from my mouth and easing it into my hole.

The arousing pressure in my ass as he continued to go down on me quickly built my climax. I arched my back and thrust into him, groaning and clawing at the bed. My legs spread for more—desperate for more.

Darren pushed his finger in deeper, exploring until he found my favorite spot, pulling out a moan from me.

"More… god more. "

His warm, wet heat sucked harder, and he bobbed his head faster, thrusting his finger in and out, pegging my prostate again and again.

My orgasm came out of nowhere, the pressure barely warning me as I exploded into Darren's talented mouth.

He continued to milk me dry until my body shook from being overstimulated. "Stop… please."

My eyes closed, and my body melted into the mattress as Darren curled next to me, enveloping me in his protective warmth.

I hadn't realized how tired I was until I was overcome with a blessed, dreamless sleep.

A few days later, I walked into Darren's dorm room. I stopped in my tracks, confused, thinking I had gone back to my old dorm room by mistake, but that was impossible. I never dared set foot back in there. My friends packed up all my school stuff and clothes and brought them over to Darren's place.

He wouldn't let me sleep anywhere else, and he had to talk his roommate into letting me stay. It was crowded, and it was tight sleeping in his twin bed, but it was only temporary. My new place would be ready when school started back up in January.

But now, Darren had rearranged his side of the dorm room and filled it with my things, from my fairy lights to pictures on the wall to the same curtain, giving us privacy.

The love I had for that man made my eyes water. Despite our periodic difficulties, he was perfect. All that he went through in his youth to come out punching, yet still loving, never ceased to amaze me.

Darren was in the library studying, so I jumped when the door opened. I turned to find his roommate and fellow teammate. I instinctively withdrew, making myself as small as possible, as I'd been doing for a while now, hating being so afraid.

I'd met Malcolm already, but I'd been around Darren, who wouldn't let anything happen to me, but I was still jittery and tightly wound after my attack. I didn't know Malcolm well enough to trust him.

He was tall and lean and one of the Cavaliers' wide receivers. His pale skin had tons of freckles, and his brown, wavy hair fell below his jawline.

"‘Sup, Christian," he said.

"H-hello."

I rushed to the bed and pulled the curtain closed as if that would protect me. Then, I grabbed my laptop and tried to study, but I couldn't focus.

Suddenly, the curtain drew back, and I lost my breath as my stomach twisted and burned in fear.

His gray-blue eyes looked concerned, not angry, but still, my fear was visceral.

"Can I sit?" he asked softly.

I nodded, and he sat on the corner of the bed, giving me enough space. "Darren told me what had happened to you. We haven't had a chance to really talk, but I want to tell you how sorry I am."

"I-it's fine. Thanks."

His brows furrowed. "Football players aren't usually the most accepting, I'll admit. You and Darren won't have an easy time with him playing football, especially if he reaches the NFL. But please know that there are many others like me. We don't care who someone loves. You're safe here. Darren knows this, and I don't think he would've brought you here if he hadn't trusted me."

I brought my legs up and wrapped my arms around them. "I'm sorry. The attack… I still feel it."

He sighed and nodded. "I get that, but again, you're safe around me, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks. "

Malcolm smiled, and just like that, all my muscles unclenched.

Suddenly, Darren walked in, seeing me curled up on the bed with Malcolm next to me. He eyed his roommate warily. "What's going on? Everything all right?"

"Yeah, everything's perfect," I said.

His roommate stood. "Yep, I was telling Christian here that he can trust me."

They slapped hands, shook, and then fist-bumped. "Thanks for watching over my guy, man."

With my reaction to Malcolm, I realized I was desperate for some therapy. I needed to talk to a professional to get over this fear, not wanting to jump at every shadow. I needed to get back to my old self.