26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Darren

As I got older and more aware, Mom and I grew closer. It helped that my piece of shit sperm donor left her alone, and she grew… I wouldn't say more confident, but she definitely grew happier. That wasn't to say my father didn't just stop being an asshole. He may not have used his fists, but his words could be just as brutal.

It was as if beating us was an addiction, so when he couldn't do that, he resorted to drinking more, which was more than concerning. Not that I gave a fuck about his well-being, but alcohol loosened inhibitions way too much, so I kept a closer eye on him and gave him little reminders of where he stood in the hierarchy of this family.

As soon as I made money from professional football, I was getting her out of there. Fuck what she wanted and his control. Then I'd get her therapy. She'd thank me later. Or not. It didn't matter as long as she was safe. I'd take her out now if I could .

"Thanks for breakfast, Mom," I said as I leaned down and kissed her cheek as she cleaned the dishes after breakfast.

"You're welcome, honey."

Dad scowled at me, but he said nothing as I made my way out the door to go to school.

This past summer and early fall had been rough. Dillon and Christian spent most of it grieving—Dillon more so. He hadn't even remotely moved on from Cade. Christian got better once summer was over, but he'd been a little withdrawn, not as light and sunshiny. Death seemed to put a cloud over people's heads for a long time. I understood it. I still missed my grandfather.

Even worse, the bullying against Dillon had grown, even among our teammates, because of the rumors about him and Cade. Darcy and David always had to be fucking attention whores.

What hurt Dillon even more was that we were playing against Heritage Friday night, and the coach almost kicked Dillon out of the game because that was Cade's school. We'd both hoped that he could see Cade finally, but it was not meant to be. There were threats made to Dillon that if he even sneezed Cade's way, he'd be kicked off the team permanently.

All of it took a toll on my mentality. It had been emotionally draining, and working full time in the summer didn't help. I couldn't always be there for my boyfriend or my best friend, so I'd been under a lot of stress, processing my own emotions, which wasn't always easy for me.

During lunch, Christian and I stepped into the cafeteria, but we couldn't find Dillon anywhere.

"Maybe he's outside," Christian suggested.

I sighed. "I'll look."

We kissed each other quickly before setting my food on the table and going in search of Dillon. Sure enough, I found him outside, sitting at a picnic table, doodling in his notebook .

God, he looked depressed as hell. I understood his pain, but at the same time, it was starting to piss me off. He needed to get a grip. His introverted moods didn't help quell the rumors. The only way to find Cade was to get into UVA, where Cade was also going. To do that, we had to kick ass in football and keep making good grades.

The afternoon was unusually cold for this time of year. You could see your breath. I was only wearing a hoodie, which wasn't enough to keep me warm.

"It's colder than a witch's tit out here," I groused as I walked toward Dillon.

"Expert, are you?" he said without looking up.

"What the fuck are you doing out here?"

"Go back inside, Dare. I need to be alone."

"Yeah, not happening. I'm here because I'm fucking sick of you pouting."

Finally, a reaction other than sadness filled his face. His brows dropped low, and he scowled at me. "Pouting?"

"Yeah. Pouting."

"I'm not being some fucking toddler, asshole. This is serious!"

I sat down next to him too hard, reining in my own anger, and then I grabbed his face with two hands, forcing him to look at me. "Enough is enough, Dil. I know you're hurting, and it may never go away, but you're not thinking clearly."

"The hell I'm not. I'm surviving, playing football, winning, and getting good grades. And for what? What's the point of it all?"

"Cade is the point of it all."

Dillon waved his hands around. "Do you see him here? Did he suddenly show up? Because I can't see him anywhere! He owns half of me, and it's fucking killing me!"

"What you're going to do is keep up with the good grades, go to practice, win games, take us to the state championship, and win it. Then we're both going to get scholarships for the University of Virginia and find your boy."

Dillon deflated as his eyes watered and his lip trembled. "I'm trying so hard."

"I know you are."

"He probably thinks I hate him or forgot about him."

"Never."

"What if he doesn't go to UVA?"

"Then you're going to find out where the fuck he went and go there. Christian and I will go where you go. But you're going to do whatever it takes, right?"

He nodded and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

"But I need you to stay focused and on course. You will find Cade, and he will be back in your life."

"I'm not whole, Dare."

I gripped his shoulder affectionately. "You will be. We'll find him together, okay?"

I looked down at all his drawings. Not only was Dillon excellent at football, but he was an amazing artist. "What's that?" I asked, pointing at his notebook. One particular piece stood out. It was some line doodle of two boys kissing. It was kind of cool. Dillon mostly drew realistically with pencils, so this was different for him.

"It's something I doodle sometimes. It's Cade and me kissing. I'd planned on both of us getting it tattooed."

"Why don't you?"

Dillon looked up at me with wide blue eyes rimmed in red. "Now?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"I was going to wait for Cade."

"He can still get one. I think you should do it. It'll make you feel better. I'm sure your mom will allow it." When he didn't respond, I bumped his shoulder. "I'll go with you and get one, too. How's that sound? "

"Okay."

Later that afternoon, I was in the locker room getting ready for practice. We had a big game tomorrow, so we all needed to be on. Honestly, it was a wonder we were doing as well as we were with all the tension around here and Dillon still struggling.

And I was fucking losing my patience with our teammates. I hadn't worked my ass off the past three and half years just so these numbnuts could ruin things for me. Since Dillon hadn't arrived yet, they took it upon themselves to be dickheads.

"God, Dillon's such a fucking pussy."

"Right? He's been fucking moping for his stepbrother since last year."

"Fucking gross."

"Man, we need a new quarterback."

"I know. I feel weird around him."

"Yeah, it's why I've been getting undressed in the bathrooms."

"We need to talk to the coach."

"Enough!" Dean yelled, slamming his locker, startling everyone in the locker room, including me. The room grew quiet and heavy with tension. "I don't fucking get it. You know Darren has a boyfriend, right? But none of you say shit. Yeah, yeah… he's big and scary. But fuck, Dillon is the best quarterback we have. The fact that you believe the rumors over him is a bunch of bullshit."

I stood next to Dean, appreciating him more than words could speak. "Dean's right. Dillon is our fucking friend, but look how you all turn your backs on him. Ya'll are assholes. This is our last year of high school football. I'm assuming we're all going to try out for college. If you want that, this shit needs to end. Dillon can bring us to the championships, and you're being fucking assholes toward him. We need to be team players."

"Man, it's one thing to be gay, but his stepbrother?" said one of our teammates, shuddering for effect.

"Yeah, and Dillon never hangs with us. It's always with Cade. "

I folded my arms over my bare chest and clenched my muscles as a show of dominance. "Listen up. Dillon may be good at football, but he's introverted. He's never needed to be surrounded by a bunch of people. And just because he's close with Cade doesn't mean shit. And let's say these fucking rumors were true. What does it matter? They aren't related. It's no different from me dating a dude. You just don't say shit to my face because you're afraid. What do you say when I'm not around? Let's be real. You all are just homophobic. Otherwise, you wouldn't give a shit."

Everyone grew quiet, and no one fought me on it, thank fuck.

Dillon suddenly walked into the locker room and looked around at the silent team. He swallowed, knowing on his face. He'd been bullied enough to figure out what we'd been talking about.

Dean clapped his shoulder. "We were just… making sure we're all going to play as a team."

Dillon nodded and got into his football gear. Before we headed out, he called everyone to gather around him. "I'm the team captain. You're supposed to trust me if we're going to win." Don't fucking come clean, Dil. "I've ignored these rumors long enough. Shut them down. They aren't true. Cade is my best friend, that's all. Now, let's go play some fucking football and get ready to win the rest of the season."

Maybe the team believed him. Perhaps they didn't. But at least they stopped being assholes and kept their shit to themselves.

Dillon and I sat inside the tattoo parlor, waiting for our turn, Ms. C sitting with us. I had a feeling she'd let Dillon get a tattoo.

When it was my turn, I told the guy what I wanted. He was to put UVA on my arm. I'd already been accepted, but I hadn't told anyone yet. I'd show Christian my tattoo tonight as a surprise. He applied to UVA, too, but I didn't know if he got in or not yet .

The line work on my arm was fine, but once the orange and blue coloring started, I gritted my teeth. It took all of my power not to squirm, and the longer he went on, the more it hurt, and it fucking burned.

I was never getting another tattoo again.

That night, Christian and I were curled up in his bed after we'd blown each other. We'd been in such a rush that we still wore our clothes. Well, maybe I was the one in a rush.

"Baby?"

"Hmm?" he said sleepily.

"I have a surprise."

He lifted his head and looked at me with sweet, drowsy eyes. "Yeah?"

"You have to get up."

"But I'm so comfortable," he pouted.

I helped him sit up, removed my hoodie, and rolled up the sleeve of my T-shirt. It was still wrapped in plastic and fucking burned.

"Is… that a tattoo?"

"Got it today with Dillon."

Christian inspected it through the plastic. "UVA?" Then his dark, coppery eyes grew wide. "Did you get in?"

I couldn't stop smiling if I tried. "I did."

"Oh, my god! Yes! So did I!"

Christian climbed over me, elbowing me in the gut by accident in his excitement. "Ooof."

"Sorry," he said, rummaging through his nightstand drawer before pulling out an opened envelope and handing it to me. I pulled out the letter and read it.

"I was saving the news until you heard back."

After setting the letter back on the table, I pulled him into a hug. "I knew we could do it. We're off to do great things, baby."

"I can't wait!"