Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

G race smoothed down her jade green ball gown. Susan had insisted that Grace borrow the gown after she'd inspected all of Grace's trunks. The cut of the borrowed dress was flattering on her. She walked into the assembly room on Lord Stanton's arm. His waistcoat was the exact same shade of green as her dress. She had to admit, as Susan had before, that they created a nice picture together. He led her toward the dance floor and they took their places to join the quadrille.

Grace scanned the room for a pair of blue eyes, but Ollie was not among the crowd. Lord Stanton kept the conversation going between them, talking of his lands, and the horses he had a mind to buy when he was next in Town. Grace listened, but he rarely sought or needed a response. She smiled politely at her partner, wondering if dancing was a sign of how married life would be, if she would enjoy playing the part of a doting wife, simply to secure her family's comfort. Two weeks ago, she'd wanted nothing else. But then those blue eyes haunted her, making her rethink her own happiness. Was it possible that she could be afforded happiness in marriage too? She swallowed down the thoughts and focused on Lord Stanton for the rest of the dance.

After three more sets with other gentlemen from the house party, Grace asked for a glass of lemonade. Mr. Carrington obliged her, bringing her a drink.

"I know you have promised this next set to Miss Harcourt," Grace said to Mr. Carrington. "I am going to sit out this dance."

Mr. Carrington nodded. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Grace shook her head. "I shall be quite comfortable here. Thank you, Mr. Carrington."

Mr. Carrington bowed, then escorted Miss Harcourt to the dance floor.

Grace sipped her lemonade and scanned the room. She didn't recognize all of the faces, but she didn't see the set of blue eyes she was searching for. She sighed. She hadn't allowed herself to truly believe that he would come so far just to dance with her, but she felt the hope swirl with disappointment and spread through her anyway. The corners of her eyes pricked, threatening to burn with disappointment. She blinked rapidly. She would not cry. She would not. The withdrawing rooms were set up on the exact opposite side of the room from where she was. She needed an escape.

Spying the doors to the terrace, she made her way quickly, letting herself outside. The chilly air hit her with force, stealing her breath, but also calming down the wave of emotions. She gulped in the air, allowing it to cool her nerves. The stinging sensation next to her eyes slowly receded.

She rubbed her gloved arms, feeling the cold through them. She looked at the other couples on the terrace, each in wraps or shawls. She'd left hers inside. She wouldn't stay out very long. She just needed a moment to herself. The snow-covered scenery before her felt like home. The moon glinted off the snow, making the grounds feel brighter than they otherwise would be at night. Torch lights were set up through the small garden behind the assembly room. It didn't sprawl out like an estate, and Grace couldn't see anyone below her on the paths.

Grace looked up at the stars and sighed. She'd never seen the stars in the forest. The weather had not made that possible. Laughter died away behind her and she heard sounds from the ballroom growing louder. Out of the corner of her eye she could tell that the other couples were rejoining the party inside.

Grace took a few more steadying breaths and looked up at the sky one last time. The outdoors had reminded her of her time with Ollie. Everything reminded her of her time with Ollie. Their time together had been as fleeting as a dream. And that time was over. Even if he had shown up to the ball, dancing with Ollie here wouldn't change the fact that nothing could come of it.

If she didn't find a match and have a proposal in hand before she left her cousin's house, she'd committed to marrying the earl, and she wouldn't go back on her word. She loved her family too much to let them live in the fallen state of financial ruin they found themselves in. She would sacrifice, just like she said she would. But until she met Ollie she hadn't truly understood what that meant—this sacrifice was greater than she had originally anticipated.

"I shall do it," she whispered to herself and into the night. "I shall allow all of them the happiness I cannot claim for myself." She shivered, and the night air soaked into her more. It was time to head back into the ballroom. Time to face her reality, and time to figure out what she should do next in her life.

She turned, and came face to face with the first man she'd hoped to see and the very last she'd expected. "Ollie?"

He gave her a slight bow, his smile widening at her. He was clean shaven, his hair a picture of perfection with curls waving over his forehead. She didn't realize he could become more handsome than she remembered or imagined.

Emotion overcame her at seeing her friend again, she stepped quickly toward him. Longing filled her with such force, and she wanted to throw her arms around his neck and embrace him. Instead she kept her arms at her side, though no one else was out on the terrace anymore. "Ollie, you came! I'm so glad you did. I have missed you." Heat rose to her neck and cheeks at her forward admission, scaring away the coldness she'd felt only moments ago.

He lifted an eyebrow. His eyes held her gaze with intensity. "Have you?"

She nodded.

"How is your ankle?"

"It is much better. And it continues to feel better every day."

"I am glad to hear it. Did you come in a large group this evening?"

Grace nodded. "The majority of the house party came tonight."

"How have you been enjoying the activities?" he asked.

Grace smiled at the easy way he asked questions. It reminded her of nights by the fire as they talked together. But she knew what he was really asking. He wanted to know about who she was spending her time with. She could feel it instinctively, the way he watched her so carefully. "My cousin has planned everything down to the finest details. I have enjoyed my time. It is different than I anticipated however."

"How so?"

"Not everyone who was invited is in attendance." She shivered again, then lowered her voice. "The duke did not accept the invitation. I suppose that was to be expected."

Ollie opened his mouth as if to say something then looked back to the terrace doors. "Grace, I have something I would like to talk to you about."

Grace rubbed her arms where her gloves did not cover. "Yes, Ollie?"

He glanced around them once more, then said, "You look cold."

"I see your tact is the same as ever, telling a woman what she precisely does not want to hear."

"Or perhaps you can see that I am aware of your needs, and I won't beat around the bush to tell you I can see them."

"Touché, Ollie. I suppose it would be best to return to the ball."

Ollie looked hesitant, but then nodded. "I wonder, Grace, if you will do me the honor of the next set?"

Grace's heart thudded in her chest. Her mouth went dry as she tried to speak to the person she'd been thinking about since the last time she'd seen him. "You … want to dance with me?"

His intense blue eyes looked into hers as if they were trying to memorize everything they were seeing. "Of course I want to dance with you, Grace. You are the only reason I am here tonight."

Excitement bubbled around Grace, and she allowed herself to be swallowed up in the moment, even if it was only her reality for a short time. "I would love nothing more."

Ollie took her hand and looped it through his arm, his eyes trained on her as if she would vanish if he didn't keep looking at her. He put his hand atop hers as she rested her hand on his forearm, feeling his muscle and strength through his jacket. Unlike when she was being escorted by Lord Stanton, a hundred emotions pulled at Grace as she walked the final length of the terrace with Ollie. She was hot and cold at the same time. Nerves bounced around between excitement and anticipation.

She leaned into him, brushing her shoulder against him, and drinking in the smell of cedar and mint—the scent that was uniquely Ollie. She allowed him to lead her inside and to the dance floor, savoring the closeness between them.

"I need to speak to you first," Ollie said, squeezing her hand beneath his, pulling her away from where he'd been leading her.

"The next set is beginning right now," Grace said, pulling Ollie the rest of the way toward the dance floor. So excited as she was to see her friend here, she didn't want to miss a single second of dancing with him. "Surely, whatever you wish to say can be said on the dance floor."

She smiled at her friend, and tried to squash her earlier thoughts. Seeing Ollie again meant that she knew she couldn't agree to an arranged marriage. She wanted a connection like the one she felt with the man across from her. She didn't need a duke or an earl. She wanted something deeper than status or comfort.