39. Huckslee

Huckslee

A six-mile hike after a night of tripping was not high on my list of fun things to try before the sun is up, but apparently, Taylor and his friends are a bunch of masochists—and sadists.

Seriously, who hikes an uphill trail for fun every single year? I'm a trained athlete, and even I'm struggling. Matt, too, dirt crunching under us as we pass beneath the trees and over hills, crisp Colorado air filling my lungs.

"Keep up, bitches!" Salem laughs as we all huff and puff at least twenty steps behind her and Christian. Taylor's been trying to hang back for my sake, but I can tell he's getting frustrated. The only good thing about this hike so far is that I've spent the last few hours staring at his luscious ass in those tight joggers, imagining all the ways I'm going to fuck it. Secretly, I think he's been positioning himself in front of me on purpose because he knows how much I like to watch him walk. It's making me sweat, and not because of the temperature today. Though honestly, it's also hot as hell outside.

He turns around, walking backward to whine at us for the tenth time in the last half hour. "Come on, guys. And girl. At this pace, it'll take us until nightfall to reach Ouzel Falls."

"How long does it usually take you guys?" Logan asks in between breaths, pausing to dump some water over himself. We've passed a few bodies of water, and he's dunked his head into them every time. I'm tempted to do that myself the next one we get to.

"Usually three hours," Christian calls back. "But we've stopped so many times that it'll likely take us six."

All of us complain. This is torture. Arya sags against Xed, who looks too tired to push her off as she cries for him to carry her.

Pumping my screaming legs forward, I catch up to Taylor. "How can you do this every year when you don't even go to the gym?"

"Who says I don't?"

I lift a brow at him because really?

He throws me an equally incredulous glance. "Do you know how heavy a dirt bike is, Huck? How much stamina is needed to throw that thing around? Guarantee my core strength is ten times stronger than yours."

"Yeah? You wanna test this theory?"

"No need," he grins, flashing his crooked incisor before speeding up. "I'm not the one falling behind!"

Dammit. He has a point.

Coming to a halt, I rest my palms on my knees and breathe. Admittedly, I've been slacking a bit in my training regimen, but this is embarrassing. Xed stops beside me, letting Matty, Arya, and Logan get ahead of us. When I finally straighten, his light brown eyes meet my dark ones.

"So, you and Taylor, huh?"

Right. And there's that. He caught us making out last night.

"So, you and Matt, huh?" I counter, narrowing my gaze. I've never brought up what I saw that night at the Prospector, but if he wants to go there, we'll go there.

He shrugs a leather-clad shoulder before glancing away, sweat dripping from his brow. I don't know how he always wears that jacket, especially in this heat.

"Not anymore." Swallowing hard, Xed keeps his voice low as he stares at the ground. "He wants to try and work on things with Valerie, even though it's never worked before. Guess he thinks he owes it to Hannah to have her mother in her life. I'm not enough."

"That's..." I trail off momentarily, glancing at Matty's broad back, unsure what to say. Being a father is something I have no experience in, nor do I think I ever will. But still. Something about the situation feels so wrong. "I know I haven't been around long, but from what I can see and what Taylor's told me, you've practically been another parent to Hannah. She's lucky to have you."

"For now. I'm really going to miss her. Miss him. It's not fair." Xed's eyes are also on Matt, shining under the midday sun with unshed tears, and I clear my throat against a swell of emotion.

"This probably doesn't make it any better, but Taylor might be in the same boat as you come August. I don't know if this is just a summer fling or not. "

That surprises him, his brows rising. "And does he know that? How long have you two been a thing?"

"It's...complicated." My attention shifts forward when Arya shrieks in delight, Taylor tossing her over his shoulder as he laughs. Seeing them get along is new. "Our history goes back to the eighth grade, with bits and pieces in high school. We didn't officially start anything until a month ago. There's a lot of shit between us that we're still working out. And you know how Taylor is, how much he needs to touch and be touched. I don't think forcing him into a long-distance relationship is fair, but I can't ask him to wait."

"Is it forced, though, if he agrees to it?"

Sighing wearily, I shake my head. "I don't know. It feels like it is. He already waited so long for me to pull my head out of my ass while I was in California, and this just feels like going backwards. Relationships are supposed to move forward."

"You're going into the NFL, and he's working on his motocross career," Xed scoffs. "That's the definition of moving forward."

Yeah. It is. I'm just worried we won't be able to do it together. Because even though we're new to this, I've come to understand that Taylor needs someone he can feel in his life. And no matter how you slice it, loving someone from a distance goes against his human nature. Even if he had spent the last four years wanting me, he hadn't spent them alone and single. I'd never ask that of him. He can't even go for a week without showing up to drag me out the front door, aching for contact, and who am I kidding? Neither can I. We crave each other. Two thousand miles of distance between us will make seeing each other every weekend impossible. In the back of my head, I can hear the clock counting down as our time slowly runs out.

Tick, tick, tick .

Xed and I fall silent as we try to catch up, lost in our own thoughts. When we return to the group, everyone is standing on the side of the trail, watching a small waterfall cascade down the mountain into a clear lake. It's not the one we're trying to hike to, but this entire trailhead is littered with smaller falls and rushing rapids. Taylor shoots me a questioning look when I step up beside him, but I just flash a soft smile and brush my hand against his, wishing I had the guts to claim him in front of Logan, who's currently barreling toward the lake like he's on fire.

"Jesus, slow down," I holler, laughing as he strips off his shirt and dunks his head into the water.

"I could go for a swim myself, it's hot as fuck." Matt begins to undress when Christian slaps him in the chest, halting him.

"How about a cliff dive?" He points up to the top of the waterfall. "Should be an easy climb. Not too high, and the water looks deep enough, yeah?"

Taylor bounces up and down, ever the adrenaline junkie. "Hell yeah, let's do it!"

Xed sits down near a tree, crossing his legs as he pulls out his pipe. "I'm good, I'll watch the packs. You kids have fun."

"We're the same age, you goofy fuck."

The rest of us spend the next twenty minutes clambering up the small cliff, my muscles screaming at me for help. Once up to the top, I take a minute to admire the beauty of the Colorado wilderness, lush green trees, and clear blue skies. All of us strip down to our underwear, even the girls. I try to keep my eyes off Taylor, but he looks so damn good in his red boxer briefs, dick perfectly imprinted in the crotch. He catches me ogling and winks, wiggling that ass like he's asking me to smack it, which I almost do.

At the last minute, Salem whips off her sports bra and jumps topless, cackling at the shocked look on everyone's faces. Arya follows suit, tits bouncing as she runs to the edge, Christian and Matt cheering after her when she careens down to the lake below. Logan's got a dopey smile on his face, and I pat his cheek before taking off, too. My stomach leaps into my throat when the ground leaves my feet, my body spinning through the air for far too short a time until it smacks into freezing water.

When I come up for air, there are two more splashes, Christian and Matt surfacing next to me with choked laughs and curses at the tepid temperature. Logan follows soon after, and I watch for my stepbrother to make his jump. Of course, in true Taylor fashion, he leaps off the cliff completely nude, cock and balls fucking flapping in the wind while his friends hoot and holler. He hits the water just as Logan covers his eyes, screaming.

"You're such a dumbass," I shout when he comes up, shaking hair out of his eyes with a grin.

"Now everyone here has seen my junk! You're welcome!"

"I could have gone my entire life without that image, thank you." Logan swims over to the shoreline to pull himself out, teeth chattering, while the rest of us swim around to get used to the water. Knowing he's naked under the surface has me swimming close to Taylor, wanting to cop a feel .

Christian moves to the shallow side of the lake, pulling Arya onto his shoulders as he stands. "Topless chicken! Matty, put Salem on your shoulders. Xed, keep an eye out for people."

Making sure Logan's back is turned, I tread over to Taylor and lightly brush my fingers over his ass, making him shiver. His eyes reflect dark green against the water as he peeks up at me beneath his dark, dripping strands, a sensual smile curling his lips. Feeling a little bold, I reach down again to grip one of his cheeks in my palm and squeeze, causing him to squeak in surprise, my dick immediately going rigid when I touch something in between his crease.

Yanking his back to my chest, I place my lips next to his ear as I grind my hard cock against him. "Did I just feel what I think I felt?"

"Yep." He grins sheepishly over his shoulder, pushing his ass back against me, and I curse roughly under my breath.

While everyone is distracted with the show Arya and Salem are putting on, I grab Taylor's wrist and pull him away toward the waterfall, needing to get my hands on him before I implode. The cascading torrent is surprisingly warm when we slip beneath it, albeit loud, and behind it, we're greeted by a small alcove in the cliffside, just big enough to give us some privacy.

Spinning around so that my shoulder rests against the rough, moss-covered stone, I wrap my arms around him and claim his mouth in a sweltering, consuming kiss. There's enough of a ledge jutting out underneath for me to stand on.

"How long have you been wearing the plug? "

"Since yesterday," he moans against my mouth, wrapping long legs around my waist. "Took it out for a few hours this morning, but I wanted to be ready for you."

"Fucking hell, Taylor." Licking along the dragonfly tattoo on his throat, my fingers trace down his sternum, barely touching the tip of his hard dick before I bring them around to his ass. The plug sits firm in his hole, and I put pressure on it, causing Taylor to groan as he bucks his hips, fingers tangling in my damp curls, thighs tightening.

"I need you so bad, Huck."

Twisting the plug around inside him, my free hand moves to wrap around his cock. He clings to me, whimpering as I work him, teeth sunk into that plump bottom lip. Reaching between us, he pulls out my own length underneath the water, and for a moment, we gaze at one another while we stroke each other slowly. He's so beautiful it breaks my damn heart.

"Huck, please." His plea is a soft whisper on my lips, thick with need. "I want you. Right here."

My gaze flicks over his shoulder, beyond the falls, where I can barely make out everyone still engaged in their game. Between the rippling water and darkness of the alcove, I know it's too dark for anyone to witness what we're doing. "This is probably not the most sanitary place."

Taylor chuckles against my neck, biting hard enough to elicit a hiss. "Don't care. It's romantic as fuck."

"Relax for me," I murmur after a snort, kissing along the wet skin of his jaw while I slowly begin to remove the plug. He moans into my shoulder the entire time, body vibrating from the force of keeping still. Once it's out, I tuck it inside the waistband of my underwear so as not to lose it before replacing it with my fingers. Two of them sink inside his slick hole easily, and we both groan in unison as my teeth find his earlobe.

"Someone's been a good boy."

Gently, I insert a third finger, the whimpers clawing out of his throat so fucking sweet, his fist still pumping me while I finger his ass. When he's nice and prepped, I lift him slightly so that my cock hovers over his entrance, my muscles screaming, but I don't really give a shit at the moment.

"Water makes terrible lube." Pausing to give him a warning, our lips find each other again. "If it gets to be too much, tell me. We can stop."

He shakes his head, holding my gaze intently. "It won't, I used silicone-based stuff. Please, baby, I've been dying for this."

God, I love hearing him beg.

Positioning my tip against his hole, I tell him to exhale deeply and bare down while I slowly push myself inside. Sparks ignite behind my eyes at how good he feels, so fucking warm and tight. The plug helped, but I'm still met with a bit of resistance, and I freeze when Taylor cries out.

"Doing ok?"

"Yeah, just..." His arms tighten around me as he buries his face in my neck. "Just give me a minute."

So I do. The urge to thrust into him is so strong that it takes everything I have to remain still while I rub circles around his lower back. His cock has started to soften, so I use my free hand to stroke it softly, feeling his breaths brush my collarbone. Beyond the waterfall, I can tell that no one is in the lake any longer, and they're probably wondering where we went, but I won't rush this. He deserves better than that.

Lifting his head, Taylor captures my mouth in a deep, heated kiss. "Ok. I'm good."

"Sure?"

"Y-yeah. Move. Please."

"So polite." My chuckle breaks off into a moan when he clenches around me, and I shoot a glare at his smirking face. Pushing in a little more, my hips rest against his ass as I seat myself fully inside him, the angle nudging his prostate enough that his length jerks to full attention.

"Mhmfuuck." His lids sink closed when I grip his hips to lift him up before bringing him back down, gently fucking into him so that he gets used to the feeling. Every muscle in my body is wound tight as a bowstring, the feeling of him on my cock unlike anything I've ever experienced. I want to pound into him, own him, make him feel what no other man ever could.

"More," he whimpers, planting his feet on either side of my hips against the cliff wall. "I need more."

"You feel so good, Tay." My speed picks up, water sloshing as I begin to fuck him faster. "God, you're taking me so well."

Our little alcove fills with the sounds of pants, moans, and grunts. His eyes roll into the back of his head every time I peg his prostate, slamming into him with just enough force that his moans grow louder. My name falls from his lips along with a string of garbled words I can't make out when his nails bite into my shoulders, the pain so pleasurable it nearly sends me over the edge. Using his stance on the mossy wall for leverage, he lifts himself up and down, meeting my pace beautifully .

"That's it. Help me fuck you, make yourself feel good."

"Huck, I can't..." His teeth are biting his bottom lip so hard I see indents. "C-can't last. Gonna come."

Wrapping my fingers around his shaft, I jerk him hard while continuing to pound into him. "Come for me, baby. Come on my cock so I can fill you up."

That's all it takes. His hole clenches around me, and he cries out, echoing in my ears, dick twitching his orgasm against my palm in the water. I thrust deep one last time before my own climax overtakes me, spilling hot cum inside his ass, marking him forever as mine. My vision turns white from the exertion of it, blissful static momentarily filling my ears when Taylor breathes a contented sigh, dropping his forehead to my shoulder while I thrust through my orgasm, slowly coming to a stop before slumping back against the wall. Our chests heave against each other.

"Holy shit," he hums after a few minutes, voice hoarse. "That was..."

"Amazing?" I kiss his damp strands, a sated smile pulling at my lips. "Earth shattering? Mind-blowing?"

He lifts his head, cracking open one eye to squint at me. "Those are my lines. What have you done with my Huckslee?"

"I think he got lost somewhere in your ass." Flexing my softening dick, which is still inside of him, a chuckle leaves my throat when he whimpers. "Fuck, I never wanna leave. You're incredible."

Those gorgeous eyes roll, but a satisfied smirk pulls at his mouth.

"I'm serious. I think you ruined me. I'm gonna need you stuffed with my cock daily from now on. "

"Jesus," he coughs, a faint flush on his cheeks as he squirms, and my hands fly to his hips to hold him in place when my dick jolts at the movement.

"Unless you're ready for round two, which you're not, I'd stop moving if I were you."

A challenge flashes across his features, but just as the damn brat rolls his hips, Salem's voice has us both freezing.

"Alright, coming in! My eyes are closed!"

We turn to watch her tread underneath the waterfall, bright red hair catching in the sun as her hands cover her eyes, causing Taylor to bark out a laugh.

"Hey guys, Christian and I stalled for as long as we can," she says, parting her fingers to peek at us. "Xed already climbed up to get our clothes, and everyone's waiting. Logan's getting concerned."

"Shit. What'd you tell him?"

She smirks. "That you both needed some brotherly bonding time."

"Be gone, she-devil!" Taylor smacks the water to splash her, and she dives away, tossing a hurry up over her shoulder as she leaves the alcove.

"They're not exactly making it any easier for me to tell him about us," I mutter, dropping my head to his shoulder, and he hums in agreement.

"Yeah...speaking of, when do you plan on doing that, by the way? Because everyone knows now except Matty and Logan."

The idea of telling my best friend that I'm dating my stepbrother raises a panic in my throat, and I exhale slowly.

"Soon. "

That's all I can say. Because I really do plan on telling him...I just don't know how or when.

Pulling out of him slowly, my fingers replace my dick, a soft gasp leaving his lips as I gently prod his hole, wishing I could see the mess leaking out of him. "If I wasn't worried about trapping lake water inside of you, I'd put the plug back in and make you walk around full of my cum all day."

"Fuuuck." He snags my bottom lip in between his teeth. "You're gonna make me horny again, and I'm naked."

"Like nearly everyone here hasn't seen your boner before." Drawing back to cup his cheek, I search his eyes. "Was it good for you? Did you like it?"

His expression softens as he steals a light, sweet kiss. "I didn't like it, I loved it. I'm dickmatized. One hundred percent can confirm I'm switching teams. Don't think I've ever come so hard in my life."

"Good, because you're mine, and I fully plan on fucking you again."

Taylor laughs, shaking his head as he turns away to swim toward the waterfall. "This is the third time we've fooled around in water, you know. I think it's becoming our thing."

That comment has me going still.

Images from the pool in high school flood my brain, the way he held me under, stealing me of oxygen before breathing it back into me with his kisses. How, at first, I fought before letting go in more ways than one. That night symbolized so many things for me. It was the pivotal moment I'd decided to stop holding back, to acknowledge my feelings for him and give up control. The first time in years that I actually felt free. But then the morning after...waking up to Taylor in my bed…

I have so many regrets. There were about a hundred different ways I could have handled that situation. Part of me wonders if I'd given him the grace he deserved to figure things out in his head, maybe he wouldn't have stolen my car, and maybe his dad wouldn't have put him in the hospital. Hindsight's a bitch.

For the last four years, I've done my damndest not to think about the pool, him, or anything that transpired between us because of how my lungs would seize and my chest would burn. It used to fill me with anger and hate. Now? All I feel is a deep sadness and shame, wishing I could turn back time. Wishing I could have loved him sooner. Because it feels like all I'll get is months when I could have had years.

Tick, tick, tick .

"Huck?"

My attention snaps to where he's watching me with uncertainty, eyes half hidden under his lashes as if he senses the sudden shift in my mood. And I want to take it away, all of it. Every negative emotion that ever came between us, every bruise and every scar. All of his guilt, all of mine. If I could, I'd crawl inside his brain and change the story, perhaps make it one where our friendship morphed naturally into love over time instead of the twisted monster it became.

Water laps against my chest as he paddles over, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Don't let them win."

"Hm?" My brows furrow tightly as he presses a wet thumb between them.

"The bad thoughts. Don't let them win. I'm here now. We're here. How we got to this point doesn't matter. Delaware, remember? "

Taking my hand, he lays my palm on the tattoo over his heart before pressing his lips to mine. And just like that, everything...calms. The gentle yet firm way he's holding me is enough to still the chaos, anchoring me to this moment. I let his soft kisses ground me, losing myself in his fingers, tracing my spine. Xed's holler is what eventually has us pulling apart.

"Ready?" Taylor gives me a reassuring smile, and I nod reluctantly.

"Yeah." No. I don't want this to end . "Let's go." Let's stay and never leave this cave . Alcove. Whatever.

Something settles over me that I can't quite place as we swim beneath the waterfall and tread toward shore, a melancholic weight pressing on my chest. It isn't until I'm pulling myself up onto the bank that I remember Taylor is naked. And there's a butt plug tucked into the hem of my underwear.

Logan's eyes narrow as I pull on my clothes, but I avoid his glare. A storm of emotions flashes across his face—disbelief, then incredulity—and I silently curse myself. Disappearing with a naked Taylor for over half an hour wasn't exactly subtle. Even Matt's eyes dart between us, his lips pursed, the silence hanging thick and heavy.

Once Taylor is fully clothed, he clears his throat, running a hand through his hair. "I'm kinda beat. Think I'm gonna head back to camp and take a nap."

Salem snickers with Arya, and Christian slaps a hand across his back.

"I bet, bud. You just got a good workout in."

Fucking hell .

"Seriously, big mouth?" Xed shoves him in the shoulder while Matt's eyes widen to saucers, and Logan turns away before I can judge what else he's thinking.

Taylor stays uncharacteristically silent, his teeth worrying his bottom lip. He glances at me briefly, grabbing his pack from Xed before taking off downhill the way we came. The sight of him walking away raises my hackles worse than Logan knowing about us, and I find myself heading after him without so much as a goodbye to the group.

"Taylor, wait. I'm coming with you."

He stops in his tracks, throwing me a guarded look over his shoulder. "What about Logan?"

"What do you mean?"

"You can't ditch your best friend for me, Huckslee."

Rearing back, my mouth opens to refute that ridiculous statement when Salem scoffs loudly behind me.

"He's a big boy, he'll be fine." She tugs Logan into her side, throwing an arm around him. "Won't you?"

He blinks down at her for several seconds. "Y-yeah. Sure."

"See? You two run along. I expect dinner to be ready for us by the time we return."

Taylor rolls his eyes before continuing downhill. "Yes, Mommy."

Salem turns Logan around as she mouths something like you owe me and I flash her a thankful smile before taking off after Taylor.

"You didn't have to come with me, you know," he says, taking my hand.

"Yes, I did. This is probably the only time we'll be alone this weekend, and you also wore me out. I want to nap with my boyfriend somewhere other than the bed of his truck for once."

A bright grin spreads across his face. "Boyfriend, huh?"

"Yep. I'm yours, and you're mine, remember?"

He's quiet momentarily, focusing on the dirt path ahead of us. "And Logan? What's going to happen now that he knows?"

"Good question."

Would he judge? Be disgusted with our relationship? Kick me out of his apartment? Would I have to move back in with my dad and Maisie until the end of July? A tendril of panic swells in my throat, but it disappears when Taylor squeezes my hand.

"Whatever happens, we'll face it together," he states firmly, holding my gaze, and I swear the sun shines a little brighter inside his smile.

"Yeah. Together."

Everything about this feels so right. Our palms fit perfectly together, his steady voice a comforting hum as we head back to camp, pausing periodically to make out against tree trunks. When we finally collapse into our tent, too exhausted for anything but sleep, his body fits mine like a puzzle piece I didn't know was missing.

It's perfect.

He's perfect.

Tick, tick, tick .

I just wish we had more time.

The rest of the trip flies by awkwardly, but not because of anyone else.

Because of Logan.

He only speaks to me for the remaining two days of our little vacation if he absolutely has to. It might have been worse, but Salem is a certified saint and keeps him occupied so that no one notices except us and Taylor. She even opts to sleep next to him in our cuddle pile, and for that, I could honestly marry her. Platonically, of course. Pretty sure platonic marriages are a thing.

Like I predicted, Taylor and I hardly get time to ourselves, and Matthew has about a bazillion questions to ask us. Like when did we realize we were into each other? (Nearly a decade ago, technically.) Have we told our parents? (No and never, ever, probably.) How long has Taylor been into men? (That one was fun to watch him answer; his bright red face and explanation that he's only into me were cute as hell.) At one point, Xed and Taylor disappear on a long walk together to discuss things, but when they return, I can't tell if he knows about them or not.

Eventually, we pack up camp and load everything into the vehicles to return home. This time, Taylor gives Logan the front seat, opting to sit between Xed and me so that we can hold hands. Xed shakes his head and rolls his eyes at the sight, but Taylor simply flips him off with a smirk, and I admit it feels good to finally be out in the open with our relationship.

As fleeting as it might be.

Logan barely utters a word the entire trip, his phone blasting country music too loud for anyone to hear each other speak. Two hours into the ride, Taylor finally has enough and leans forward to switch on some alternative rock station, muttering something like better than that twangy shit under his breath. I know that Logan's pissed because his ears turn red, but still he says nothing.

The closer we get to home, the more my apprehension spikes. After a few games of I Spy, my boyfriend falls asleep with his head on my shoulder, and Xed does the same on his other side. The weight of both of them smashes me into the door, but it calms my erratic heartbeat.

Salem meets my gaze in the rear-view mirror, chewing her lip as she glances sideways at the stoic figure in her passenger seat. Of all our years as friends, I don't recall ever seeing him like this. I can tell she hasn't, either. Even after I OD'd, he wasn't this angry at me.

Night falls by the time we pull into the parking lot of our apartment complex, clouds rolling in to block out the moon. Logan is out of the passenger seat once the jeep barely stops on the curb, yanking his bag from the back without a farewell to anyone. He slams the trunk down hard, causing all of us to wince, and Salem turns to me after watching him disappear inside the building.

"You gonna be ok?" She asks softly, gray eyes wide with concern, and I nod quickly.

"Yeah. I'll talk to him. "

I say goodbye, and Taylor exits with me as his truck pulls in behind us. With Salem moving in, it makes more sense for Matt and Taylor to switch rides. He grabs my bag from the back, slinging it over my shoulder before wrapping his arms around me and pressing his chest to mine.

"Call me if you need me to come get you," he murmurs, making me dizzy with a sloppy kiss.

"I will. FaceTime later?"

Grinning crookedly, he winks. "Always."

My chest tightens as it warms at how far he's come. At first, he was awkward about being on the phone, but not a day has passed that we haven't called or video chatted, and if I forget, he makes sure I know.

Reluctantly, I let him go, checking out his ass when he climbs into his truck with Arya and Christian. Shooting them a casual wave and shaking my head when Taylor makes a heart at me with his fingers, I make my way into the building toward the elevator.

Logan's already in the bathroom showering when I step into the apartment, so I flop into my desk chair, not wanting to crawl into bed before I shower myself. He takes his sweet time, so I work on some sketches for T.O.T while I wait. Christian and Taylor finally agreed—albeit begrudgingly on Taylor's part—to let Royce print some samples with his machines.

The shower finally turns off, and I exhale deeply before standing to knock on the door softly.

"Logan, we need to talk."

Silence meets me on the other end.

"Come on, don't ignore me. You haven't spoken to me in like three days. "

"Go away, Huck."

My head thumps against the door as I lean back with an exasperated sigh. "I don't even know why you're mad. You hid an entire relationship from me for two whole years."

He yanks open the door, and I huff as I nearly fall backwards into the bathroom.

"Two years? Really?" He eyes me incredulously, brown hair still damp, pajamas clinging to his lanky frame. "As opposed to eight?"

"None of that really counts. We only officially started this thing a month ago."

His lips tighten. "But you had history, and you didn't tell me. I wondered why it bothered you so much when he crashed your car."

"You really wanna talk about things we didn't tell each other?" I cross my arms with a glare. "Taylor talked to Salem during the hike, and she told him that your dad threatened to cut off college funding unless you married her. And you said nothing."

"Why would I? You disappeared for four years!"

"You know why I had to do that, but I still kept in touch, asshole. You were the first to know about every relationship I ever had."

He plants his hands on his narrow hips. "And now you're with the person who made you run away in the first place? How does that make sense?"

"You literally told me to give him another chance when I came back in January," I nearly shout, jabbing a finger in his direction. "Remember? "

"Yeah, another chance at being a brother , not…whatever you guys are doing."

His lip curls as he spits the words, and I immediately go on the defensive, my back snapping straight as my chest constricts.

"I'm sorry, does the fact that our parents are married to each other bother you? Is that what this is?"

"I don't know," he states after hesitantly pausing, leaning against the doorframe. "I don't know how I feel about it, Huck. I just wish you'd told me."

A sigh gunshots from my lungs as I run a hand through my greasy curls. "Look, Loge, Taylor had a pretty shitty upbringing. His dad wasn't a good person. It doesn't excuse what he did to me, but it explains a lot. I don't...I don't blame him anymore. Like you said, he's not the same person he was in high school. We're working through things."

Logan is silent for a long moment, his eyes narrowed, jaw tight.

"You didn't tell me when your father left the priesthood either," he says quietly, dropping his gaze to the floor. "I had to hear about that from my parents. Or that you used to bartend. Or that you've apparently done shrooms before this weekend. We've been friends for over fifteen years, and I feel like I hardly know you."

"Yeah, well, the feeling is mutual." My reply comes out slowly, almost guttural, as I swallow around the emotions clogging my throat. This is the exact reason why I wanted to wait to tell him. But, like my entire life, things never go as planned. "I knew you'd react this way. "

His honey-colored eyes flash as they snap up to mine. "My reactions are valid. You never tell me anything about your life. Even before you left. In high school, I didn't know that you were–"

He cuts himself off, face blanching.

"That I was what?" I raise my brows when he doesn't respond. "Gay? Suicidal? Go on, Logan, you can say them. They're not dirty words."

"I was going to say having issues."

"That's even fucking worse!" With a groan, I rub my palms into my eyes until I see stars. "This is why I don't say anything. Why I never said anything. Mental health is such a taboo subject that everyone tip-toes around it. Especially the church. And when you consider the reasons I felt the way I did, do you really think I could have talked to anyone about it? Without being told I was a sinner and going to hell?"

"The fact that you think I would judge you on anything you're dealing with just shows me how far apart we've grown." He reaches up to rub the back of his neck, chewing on his cheek. "Huck, I...I think I need some space. To process things."

It's on the tip of my tongue to say you're judging me right now, but I don't. Instead, I moisten my lips and nod despite the painful thumping in my chest.

"Fine. I can stay with Taylor for the next week until I leave for Cali."

He nods as well, avoiding my gaze, so I head to my room to repack my bag and grab my suitcase, ensuring I take my laptop, school stuff, and sketchbook. When I return, Logan is still in the doorway, clutching the sleeves of his sweater tightly .

I pause midway to the front door, uncertain. "Can I still stay here when I get back, or should I make other arrangements until August?"

He's silent for a moment before clearing his throat. "I-I'll let you know."

Fine. Whatever.

Let him have his moment to consider my life decisions, but maybe while he's preoccupied with my choices, he can reflect on his own.

Before I shut the apartment door behind me, I glance over my shoulder to find him staring after me.

"I know you didn't ask, but here's some relationship advice. I spent years being afraid to love who I love because of what others think, and so did Taylor. I'd hate to see you lose something good just because your parents disapprove. Choose Salem, Loge. That's all she wants."

And with those words, I leave my best friend behind, feeling like I've just lost a vital piece of myself.