17

I was exhausted.

I was beyond exhausted.

Everything was ready for graduation in a few days.

Everything was ready for my coronation a few days after that.

Except me. I was exhausted .

I thought I’d had so much in place, but there were so many last-minute details it wasn’t even funny. Changing the coronation had changed the whole fucking plan from start to finish it seemed.

And apparently, all of Faerie wanted to change the solemnness of what came after. Normally, the new queen immediately went into seclusion to commune with the gods, but really have the ancients fuck her over.

Yeah, Faerie didn’t want that anymore. They did agree that I needed time to decompress basically, but they wanted a celebration after the coronation.

All of Faerie—all over Faerie.

After that… It was more complicated for me. Normally, there were two weeks of mourning after the old queen was laid to rest before the new coronation, but we were doing it backwards.

So it would be my coronation and party that night.

And then I had to unfreeze my mom the next morning. I thought that was too soon, but I didn’t disagree that it was always going to be too soon to lose my dad and not feel right. The sentiment seemed to be that if I needed an extra day, no one would judge me, but it had to happen.

It really did.

Yeah, I knew that too, but it all seemed so cold. I was scheduling my dad’s death.

Fucked up didn’t quite cover that.

Then I would have two weeks of mourning, and there was a whole process to that. The ceremonies and viewing of my parents. Cleansing the castle and government buildings on my family lands—lots of everything.

And we hadn’t done the ones in the dark realm after Elora died and really needed to, but it seemed wrong to do one without the other. Neldor and I had discussed that but yeah, we would do his family’s everything together.

After all of that, it was agreed that I would have two weeks to let my new position sink in. I could gather any changes and have everything ready. All government would basically be shut down until my new government went into effect. Not emergency services and whatnot, but… It was basically a vacation for all our bureaucracies.

It was what Faerie wanted. It was a blend of what used to be and the actual intent.

I wasn’t about to argue it because I was pretty damn sure I would need the time to get my shit together after losing my dad.

But setting it all up from my graduation party to the cleansing before my coronation to my actual coronation—all of it was a lot.

And my dad kept talking about handling his belongings offhandedly like we were packing for a road trip instead of him dying on me. That broke me and I lost my head—completely exploded.

I was a total bitch. He was going to die and I was making it all about me. So yeah, I was exhausted and a mess and just… A super, complete, and total mess.

Awesome.

Needless to say, I didn’t sleep well and instead got up by myself for second or third dinner and then quietly settled into my new room. I finally unpacked the pictures that Hudson had framed of us flying or when he was in his human form too. Then the ones Neldor had gotten me for my birthday of me with my unicorns and my dad.

That brought tears to my eyes, so I left it and decided to really torture myself and look over all of the pictures from the photo shoot. I needed to decide which ones I wanted printed for the family dining room and more.

That was what Darby found me doing out on the balcony before the others woke up.

“Don’t be mad at me, but I yelled at your dad,” he admitted as knelt down next to me. “He didn’t want to leave a mess for you and—he’s a twit. You know this and he doesn’t feel things like we do. He’s a demigod.”

“I’m such a monster for yelling at him,” I rasped. “He’s the one dying and I’m making it all about me.”

“Tams, this is all about you,” he said gently. “You’re the one losing him. He gets to move on and be with his mate. Yes, he’s losing you too, but he made the choice. He doesn’t—he’s not upset about dying. He’s upset to lose you.” He reached up and wiped away my tears. “This is all about you. You’re not being selfish.”

“I don’t know that I can handle this,” I choked out. “I thought I could. I don’t think I can.”

“I know, but you have to,” he murmured. “Because the other option is you watch him fade into nothing, and that would kill you instead of just losing him.”

He was right. I swallowed loudly and nodded. He was totally right.

Fuck my life.

“I will handle everything with Julian,” Darby promised. “We’re going to go around with your dad and get everything in order.” He sighed when I looked at him. “He’s a demigod, Tams. He’s acquired a lot of wealth. Apparently, he forgot about a lot of it and was focused on only you. He…”

I nodded. “He’s acting a bit like a human with dementia and forgetting time.”

“More than that, he’s waking thinking it’s a different time.” He rubbed my arm when I set down my tablet and started crying. “That’s how he’s remembered a lot of it. Julian wonders if it’s not his father helping him and you by getting everything together.” He snorted, shaking his head. “He had a crypt—an actual fucking crypt full of wealth and he says there’s more.”

“Well shit,” I sighed, feeling as exhausted as Darby. “Okay, I’ll—”

“You’re doing none of it,” he said firmly, shaking his head when I went to argue. “Not this time, Tams. You’re about to break.” He cupped my face. “Please, agra? I’m really worried. Go to your meeting with Neldor and—leave this to us. Iolas is going to be helping as well. We can handle this, and you can look it all over later when you’re ready. It’s not going anywhere.”

Fair enough.

“I love you,” I whispered as I rubbed my face against his warm, large hand. “Thank you.”

“I love you too. Always.” He gave me a soft kiss as he helped me stand. “I need you to make it through this. I cannot lose you, so keep fighting and just be you.”

“I’ll do my best.” I noticed that I didn’t have my tablet anymore and he did.

Yeah, looking at the pictures wasn’t really helping my sadness and grief.

He told me to go get ready, but I frowned. I had tons to do, but I wasn’t sure what meeting he was talking about. I didn’t have one with Neldor.

I went to ask him what was going on, lightly knocking on his door and pushing it all the way open since it hadn’t been shut… Only to find him mostly naked. He had only a towel wrapped low around his hips, and it was white and wet, so it pretty much outlined the good stuff.

He snorted, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Don’t tempt me, baby doll.”

I shook off where my mind went and noted that he was drying his hair with runes. “Darby said to get ready for the meeting we have. What meeting? I’ve got tons to do and—”

“Yeah, and you need to delegate better right now,” he said firmly as he walked over to me. He studied me closely. “You didn’t get any sleep, did you?”

“A bit,” I mumbled. “Wait, I need to know—”

“Just shower if you want and throw on anything,” he said as he softly kissed my cheek. “What do you want for breakfast, Tams? What can I fill you with?”

Him. The implication was clear that he wanted me to say him.

And I wanted to take it. Nothing sounded better than just getting lost in one of my guys and seriously taking the day for myself before my head popped off.

“Fine, be cagey,” I grumbled and went to turn away.

He snagged his arm around my waist and pulled me back against his hard body. “If you won’t tell me what you’re craving, I’ll just be in charge and handle everything. Is that what you’re saying? I get to take care of you today?”

“Sure, whatever,” I mumbled and pulled away, shocked he was laying it on so heavy when we were bogged down with too much and… When was the last time we’d had sex?

That had to be part of it. It had been a few weeks, and—fuck, I missed having sex with him.

I took a fairly cold shower to snap my mind out of all the dirty on it, and threw on a sundress that could work for a meeting but not too over the top since I didn’t know what was going on. I went with flat sandals and dried my hair enough to throw it up in a clip like it was intentional instead of easy.

“Perfect,” he praised. “Let’s go. Food is coming soon.”

“I still don’t know what’s going on,” I grumbled. “I don’t—”

“That’s really pretty on you, shorty,” Hudson greeted, giving me a soft kiss. Julian said about the same and gave me one too as he guided me to the door. They promised to see me later, and after I got a kiss from Darby, Neldor led me through a portal so we could get to Earth.

I blinked and we did the portal dance to come out into a house I didn’t know.

Huh?

“Nel, the last thing I have—” I started to complain but froze when I felt him tap into my magic.

And use it on me.

“Come,” he ordered.

I did. It wasn’t a big one, but I moaned as I fucking orgasmed right there.

Oh, I was going to kill him. Seriously, he’d gone way too far this time.

Except he used the fairy rune for speed, and I was bent over a plush kitchen stool and he was eating me out before I could blink. My panties were gone and he was making me climax again.

“Nel, wait, what is—” I gasped when he stopped.

“I’m abducting you,” he chuckled, seeming amused that I hadn’t figured it out yet. “You order me to take time off and rest when I need it. I’m doing the same. Today, you are doing nothing but being pleased, taking naps, and eating as you actually need, not picking at food because you’re so stressed.”

“I can’t,” I moaned as he fingered me. “There’s so much to do—”

“You have it covered,” he argued. “If not, then you will delegate .” He rubbed his cock against me. “You really want me to stop? You don’t want me to please you, My Queen? You don’t want to get lost in me today?”

I hesitated and he pulled off my dress, kissing along my back and teasing my breasts. I still didn’t know how to handle this or what was really the right answer. My mind—my emotions were all over and I was exhausted .

“You said I got to be in charge today, baby doll,” he muttered, trying a different approach. “You just said I could handle you and give you everything you crave—what you need. Fine, break your word to me and tell me you don’t need me.” He kissed along my back. “We both know you do. Please, Tams? Please let me give you what you need today. It’s killing me.”

I broke when his voice cracked. I knew how hard it was for them to deal with my struggles.

I felt the same when they were in pain.

“Please,” I whispered, wanting what he offered and also not able to hurt him anymore by the state I was in.

He thrust in me and fucked me. I could barely get enough air in my lungs to make noise before he had me orgasming again and again. It was more than my body could handle, and I felt fuzzy before everything went black.

I woke when someone gave me a light shake. I popped up and saw the concern in Neldor’s eyes, but it switched to something darker like he was daring me to yell at him or tell him that he was wrong that I was in a bad place.

I wouldn’t. I knew that I was.

Who wouldn’t be? A robot? Someone devoid of all emotion?

He scooped me up and I mostly swallowed the yelp, glancing down to see I was in one of Hudson’s hoodies that were crazy huge on me and I loved to snuggle in. Had he gone to get one of my favorite comfy clothes?

Yes. It was clear he had when he glanced at it.

He sat me at the comically overloaded table with just everything I could ever want for breakfast and then some. He gave me a healing rune and set some fresh fae juice in front of me.

“Cara and Jordan are coming now to handle anything last-minute that’s needed. You will sit on that fine ass and eat,” he ordered.

“Why are you mad at me?” I whispered.

“I’m not. I’m mad at us for letting it get this bad and not taking better care of you,” he mumbled as he went over to the kitchen counter. “I got the coffee drinks we like. Don’t forget the rune so you can drink them.”

“Thanks, Nel,” I mumbled, hating to feel like I was in trouble.

Yes, I knew things had gotten bad. I knew that. What did he want from me? I didn’t want to be this stressed or lose my dad. I didn’t want to be so upset or miserable.

“I’m sorry, baby doll,” he whispered as he lifted me up and sat me on his lap. I hadn’t realized that I’d just shut down and started crying until he wiped my eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you. None of this is your fault. I’m just—I don’t want you to go through this and I can’t stop it. I was waiting for you to yell at me—I’m sorry.”

He put the iced coffee drink in my hand and begged me to have sugar. I put the rune on and nodded before taking a few huge gulps. I turned a bit so I could lean my head on his shoulder as I drank it.

“I wouldn’t have fought you,” I mumbled when the drink was gone. “I agree that things are bad. I don’t want to be miserable or this run-down either, Nel. It keeps being things that pop up or I can’t delegate. It’s not fair when you get mad at me or act like I’m so difficult to deal with. I’m not.” I winced. “I try not to be.”

I moved from his lap and sat on the other side of the table. Mostly because that was where the waffles were that I wanted to eat but also because I needed some space from him. If he was going to be an idiot… I needed some space.

Even if not much.

“Where are we?” I asked after I ate two containers.

He winced. “One of my family’s vacation homes on Earth. The others know we’re here and—the commanders too.”

I nodded, taking that in. I was also processing what Darby had said when Cara and Jordan came in with Katrina and Taeral.

Taeral took in the mood and frowned. “What did you mess up now, idiot?”

“Beat him up,” I agreed, my mood lifting.

Taeral sighed and came over to me and kissed my hair, fussing over me and checking if I needed anything else. I was very mature about it and stuck my tongue out at Neldor.

He burst out laughing, clearly not having hard feelings about it.

“There is some pushback about graduation,” Cara told me, looking over a list of issues probably.

“Too fucking bad,” I snickered. “There were at least three people we’ve found that were either excited to be sitting next to me in such a confined way or worried because their parents now knew about it. It’s a fucking security threat, and I don’t want to kill people on my graduation. Name them if we have to—I don’t care. Sit me at the end so my security can protect me.”

“Is Vale not far enough down the alphabet that it really offends someone?” Katrina drawled, clearly on the same page as me on this.

“I understand there are other princes and princesses who have come through Artemis, but I am the leader now , and sitting me in the auditorium trapped by people is stupid. I’m not a sitting duck like they all stupidly assume, but I’m trying to subvert issues later. Let us.”

She nodded. “I wanted to confirm that you wanted to share there were viable threats and that was the reason. I don’t think we need to name them, but—people like to judge. You’re known for being ‘paranoid’ even if you’re correct always. So that’s not being paranoid.”

I nodded and wanted to move along. We handled other things… Including that apparently it was expected for me to give gifts to others in my graduating class.

“Since when? Hudson didn’t to his classmates,” I growled.

“He did to the dragons,” she corrected. “That’s the tradition, but since you’re the only fairy…” She shrugged.

“Now they’re all included because people are greedy and selfish?” I rolled my eyes when people snorted. “And of course it can’t be something simple like a bear dressed in a cap and gown, right?”

They all looked at me like I was speaking Greek, so once I explained to them what I meant, they all confirmed that it couldn’t be that.

“Why didn’t I have to do this?” Neldor muttered, snorting when we shared a glance. “Right, you matter more, and everyone loves to fuck with you.”

“Please, take that from me anytime you want,” I drawled. I glanced at Katriana. “Tell me you have a fabulous idea. Please? Be my hero.”

Her lips twitched and she poured herself some juice. “I could never disappoint you, my friend. If it were me with the resources you have, I would have some of Mallory’s cards printed to be thank-you cards. Give them each to your classmates like you’re helping them have something nice to send out as thanks for their gifts.”

I snorted. “Knowing full well that most of them aren’t that classy or kind.”

“Yes, that’s half the fun,” she purred. “Especially since you’re giving them a gift and they should all thank your kindness instead of fucking expect it from you like leeches.”

“I really adore you.”

“I do appreciate your evil streak even when it can give me a migraine later,” Taeral said with a chuckle as he eyed over Katrina in a way that I couldn’t focus on.

Oh boy. Glad he was getting some.

I met Neldor’s gaze and saw he was in about the same headspace and we didn’t like it.

“What about some diamonds?” Katrina suggested. “People know we’re close. It would be nothing for me to connect you to my cousins. A few little ones like you’re telling them to be better than they’ve acted and they can shine bright. Plus, some talisman you learned to make and it’s easy for you. Something with your magic. That’s a perfect gift bag.”

“She’s right,” Neldor agreed. “I would suggest an anxiety charm or something basically telling them to chill the fuck out already.”

“Perfect. Now we just have to get it all together for hundreds of people in two fucking days.”

And people wondered why I was seriously always fucking stressed?

“I can have pretty gift bags and more gem bags here in an hour,” Katrina said gently. “Or wherever these are being put together. Jordan can go talk to Juan and get the cards printed and we put them in the bags. Done and done.”

“Of course,” Jordan accepted, standing and pulling out her phone as she stepped out of the room.

“Eat up, darling. Even I can feel how wiped you are,” Katrina worried.

She was right though, and I focused on my food. The rest of everything was little stuff and not a big deal, more checking how to handle things. The gift bags and gem bags were already purchased by the time I finished breakfast, and Juan said the cards were printing.

Now I just had to make the diamonds and anxiety charms.

At least I was fueled up, right?

The minute they all left, Neldor had me up on the kitchen island and was feasting on me. I had questions and was really confused, but it felt so fucking good that I couldn’t push him away or interrupt.

Orgasm after orgasm, I just rode the pleasure and his desire for me.

“What is going on?” I asked him when he stopped as my eyes closed.

“I can’t think when we’re together,” he muttered. “It’s just us, and everything else is out there and doesn’t matter. I wanted to give you that—shut off your brain.”

“Stupid fairy,” I mumbled as I passed out.

Though he really wasn’t wrong. All I’d focused on was how good it felt and how I wanted more, so… He wasn’t wrong.

I woke snuggled on the couch again with my head on his lap and found him making the anxiety charms, the coffee table full of them.

“People wanted my magic,” I said with a yawn.

“People can go fuck themselves,” he drawled. “I’m tired of them testing you. I’d say to blow this off, but right now not making more drama in your life is more important than them thinking they won.”

I grunted and snuggled into a ball while trying to get a better position for my head… Without paying attention to what I was laying on.

“I really am an idiot because I don’t know if you’re punishing me for handling this all wrong or hinting you want more attention,” he muttered as he set down what was in his hands and moved one under the blanket with me.

I blinked up at him. “Huh?” Then it hit me.

Right, I was lying on his lap.

Whoops.

I snickered. “Sorry, wasn’t fully lucid yet. It wasn’t on purpose.”

“Mh-hm,” he grunted as he leaned down and kissed me. “Lunch is coming in about twenty minutes. Do you want to nap a bit longer or…”

“Or,” I gasped as his hand cupped my breast under the hoodie.

Lunch arrived to find me riding him and us so into each other that we didn’t even realize they were there until we both finished.

“Well, at least I’m not fucking naked this time,” I drawled before giving him an evil look.

“Baby doll, I wouldn’t know if bombs went off when you’re wrapped around me. No, I had no fucking clue they came in,” he promised. He easily stood with me and still inside of me.

“Nel, you can’t—not like,” I gasped as he moved, thrusting as he walked with me.

“Fuck, why is this—” he moaned and moved my body for more.

“I need to change my bet,” someone grumbled. “No way they wait five years to mate.”

I opened my mouth to call whomever an asshole but whimpered instead as my climax was almost right there. He finished taking me again against the wall down the hallway. We didn’t even reach the bathroom to get cleaned up.

“I hate you,” I bitched.

“No, you don’t,” he whispered, cupping my cheek. “And for the record, it was an accident. I swear I didn’t realize what I was doing.”

I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about until after we’d cleaned up and were stuffing our faces. I put some healing runes on me to help with the stress and lack of sleep… And found something weird with my magic.

Almost like it wasn’t only my magic inside of me? I frowned as I ate and scanned myself, but then it hit me what it could be.

Hit me hard, and I dropped the burrito I’d been eating, the conversations all around me dying as they realized something was going on. I ignored all of it and focused on Neldor.

“Did you give me—” I breathed.

“Yes.” He cleared his throat as his face flushed. “Yes, I felt it.”

I sat back in my chair. “So this is what it feels like. It’s…”

He looked worried but then curious. “What? Bad?”

I shook my head but then tried to think of what I wanted to say. I scanned myself a few times and tried to settle with it. “Soothing. Not so lonely.” I nodded when his eyes flashed shock.

Then it was my turn to blush. How did that even work? He’d given me a piece of his soul and I was blushing somehow?

Gods help me, but I really did love the stupid fairy.

And we both knew it.