29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

-Alison-

Jared urged me to return home, but I staunchly refused. We lingered outside, patiently awaiting Julia's arrival. Sleep eluded me even as darkness enveloped us. Jared became a source of distraction, and I reciprocated, both of us trying to endure the passing hours until we could retrieve Julia. It came as no surprise that her family had secluded themselves, exhibiting no signs of activity, yet their isolation would soon come to an end.

As the sun rose and set once more, we drew closer to the moment of reclaiming Julia, ensuring she would never have to endure that wretched home again. However, as the sun began its descent on the third day, impatience overcame me to the extent that not even Jared's presence could divert my attention. I paced alongside the car, with Jared seated inside, a cigarette dangling from his hand, his gaze fixed on me.

"I'm sure you're aware those things kill," I remarked, prompting a chuckle from him.

"I don't indulge too often. Besides, who are you to lecture me?" he retorted playfully, coaxing a smile from my lips.

I strode over to him, swiping the cigarette from his grasp and taking a drag, though it elicited a cough from me.

"We're quitting," I declared.

"Work can be stressful."

"I believe we both know there are more effective stress relievers," I teased, flicking the cigarette away.

"I wasn't finished with that," he protested, seizing a handful of my hair and tilting my head back. Leaning in, he kissed me, the slight elevation of the car putting him above me.

I let out a soft moan, tasting the smoke as he withdrew and glanced ahead.

"Do you think she succeeded?" I inquired. "In earning their trust?"

"I'm not sure, but they didn't search her," he said.

"Search her?"

"I gave her my old knife."

I couldn't adequately express my relief, but a smile spread across my face.

"Good," I affirmed.

"And instructed her to use it if anyone came too close," he added.

I maintained my smile.

"That's definitely wise," I agreed.

"She won't face the same challenges we did, Alison," he reassured, running his hand soothingly through my hair. "We won't allow that to happen."

"Does that mean you've made a decision?" I asked, turning to glance at him over my shoulder. He sighed, his gaze distant, as he looked ahead.

I shifted, leaning against the car, and met his gaze.

"Jared, what's holding you back? Where else could she possibly go?"

"I just worry that we can't provide her with a significantly better life. Remember when you asked me if I wanted to be a parent? I couldn't answer, and you said we shouldn't create another Jared and Alison," he confessed.

"But this situation is different," I countered.

"How so?"

"Because we're not her biological parents. We're simply offering a lost child a home. It's akin to what Vince did for you," I reminded him, reaching out to stroke his hair. He leaned into my touch, visibly relaxing. "You're afraid of making mistakes, aren't you?"

He sighed, nodding.

"Did you harm her while she was in your care?" I inquired.

"Of course not," he retorted.

"Then why are you afraid now?" I pressed.

"A few days isn't the same as a lifetime. We'd actually be responsible for her," he pointed out.

"Yes, and who better than us? She was born into this world, whereas we weren't. We were thrust into it, but none of us can escape it. We can show her both sides. We can provide her with a place where she's valued for who she is, not for what she can give us."

Jared nodded slowly, but I could see the fear in his eyes—the fear of repeating the same mistakes as his own despicable father.

"Jared, you're not the same," I assured him.

"I'm not so sure," he murmured. "I'm always so angry. Even with the passing years, I still remember how it felt. I still see him in my dreams. How am I any different?"

"Because you don't enjoy causing other people pain," I insisted.

He arched an eyebrow skeptically.

"Okay, I mean people who don't deserve it. Yes, you have a temper, but who wouldn't after what you've endured? That doesn't mean you'd ever lay a hand on Julia. You've never hurt me," I reminded him.

He regarded me dubiously.

"I meant physically," I clarified.

Leaning forward, he gave me a look that implied my words were not true.

"I wanted it," I reminded him.

"Even my initials etched into your skin?" he challenged.

"Of course. I wanted all of you," I affirmed, continuing to stroke his hair.

"You weren't cruel to me because I didn't deserve it. Your father did what he did out of sheer malice, believing you owed him your body and everything else. Just like my mother thought I deserved to be her punching bag. They made their choices because they were evil, but you have a good heart."

He huffed.

"Jared, look where we are. We wouldn't be here if there wasn't some shred of goodness in you that survived all the torment over the years. You and I wouldn't be married," I countered.

He nodded slightly, my words finally reaching him. He reached out to pull me closer, leaning in to inhale my scent. He kissed my neck before reaching for my necklace and playing with it.

"Promise me you'll never let me become like him," he demanded.

"Jared—" I began.

"If I ever do something, kill me."

"I couldn't do that," I protested.

"Yes, you could. You will," he insisted.

"Jared—"

"The last thing I want is to even remotely resemble him. If I ever become so angry that I become a threat, just end me," he insisted.

"I won't let you."

"I just need you to promise me. I never want to be that person, but I can't bring myself to do it," he said. "Especially knowing it would mean leaving you."

"Then don't leave me," I whispered, feeling as though we were caught in an intensely vulnerable moment, unable to focus on anything else.

"I won't. I'll do everything in my power not to, but I need you to swear this to me," he demanded.

"Jared, I can't. I love you," I reminded him.

"Then love me enough to stop me if I ever become a real danger to you or Julia."

"You wouldn't," I reassured him. "I'll remind you every day."

"Just promise me."

"No, because that would mean admitting there's even a chance of that happening, and I won't accept it," I said, kissing his cheek. He sighed deeply before kissing my lips.