Chapter Seven

Nix

I t was the middle of the night when my phone started vibrating and it just wouldn’t stop. Hattie was tucked into my side and had stirred at the noise, so I reached for it only to have just missed a call from the shop. Looking back on the call log, I had missed six calls from them all in a row. Something must be wrong because they never call when I’m off. I carefully pulled myself from Hattie’s sleeping form and pulled on some shorts before stepping out into the hallway. It was probably a mistake making her stay with me, but I wasn’t ready to let her go yet. As ridiculous as it sounded, this little bubble we had created at my parents’ house over Christmas weekend had made me happier than I’d been in a really long time. I peaked back in my room at her asleep under the covers and smiled to myself as I closed the door behind me.

My phone rang again, and this time I got it.

“Nix, what the fuck, man? I’ve been calling you for an hour.”

“Sorry I was asleep.”

“At eleven o’clock?”

“Yeah, Phoenix, it’s Christmas, or didn’t you realize?”

“I know, and listen, I just… I need help with something.”

“Why are you at the shop? I thought Ares closed it for the weekend.”

“He did, but I told a client I’d take care of him and then other people started walking in, so I just stayed open. Now there is a line out the door.”

“At 11:00 on Christmas night?”

“You know how this place is. How soon can you get here?”

“Phoenix, honey, I can't. I'm on the other side of the state right now.”

“But what am I supposed to do?”

“Figure it out... or just close. It’s not like anyone had appointments, did they?”

“You’ll be back tomorrow, right?”

“Actually, I’m staying until Tuesday.”

“What? You have clients tomorrow.”

“I know. I texted most of them already and rescheduled.”

“Fuck this.”

“Phoenix, babe, wait—“

The phone went dead. Serves her right, really. She knows better than to randomly open the shop. That place was a beast and without someone there to handle the door, it made sense she got swamped. I turned to head back to bed and my heart dropped. Standing in the doorway to my bedroom was Hattie. She had a blanket wrapped around her and tears in her eyes. I looked at the phone in my hand, then back up at her, but she looked away and stepped around me in the hallway.

“Hattie wait.”

“Wait?” she whispered in pure anger. “Wait? What do you want me to wait for Nix? Another excuse, another reason cheating is okay. This is worse than before because this time you made me the other woman. How could you do this to me? To her? Fuck you.”

She turned and headed to my brother’s room, locking the door behind her. She had it all wrong. I wasn’t dating Phoenix; I wasn’t dating anyone. I stood at the door and knocked quietly, trying not to wake up my entire family.

“Hattie, please open up. Let me explain.”

There was nothing. I could hear her sniffling on the other side of the door, but it was clear she wasn’t going to let me in.

“Phoenix isn’t my girlfriend. We work together, that’s it.”

“Even better.” She said, “Was she the one you were sleeping with when we were together too?”

Anger rose within me at a record speed. Constantly being accused of doing something I didn’t do was exhausting. “You know what, Hattie, forget it. Forget all of it. If that’s what you want to believe, then go ahead. Believe I cheated on you, believe I’m with someone else while making love to you, believe all of it because no matter what I do, I can’t convince you otherwise.”

I could hear her gasp, and then her struggling for breath as the tears broke free. Something inside of me wanted to break down the fucking door and shake some sense into her, but the part of me that spent my whole life trying to show her she was loved couldn’t do it. I stepped, walked down the hallway, and closed my bedroom door behind me.

The next morning, I was exhausted and pissed off. Not at Hattie. No, those feelings faded quickly, just like they used to. I was pissed at myself for not fighting for her. I knew what her past consisted of and I knew how hard it was for her to trust. I may have ruined everything last night, and I wasn’t even sure what that everything was. My plans to have her stay were selfish, but as I laid in bed, holding her, my mind ran through a million scenarios where maybe, just maybe, we could make it work. It would take time and therapy, but I was willing to do all of it for her. Then Phoenix called and all our old issues came to a head. Instead of fighting, I walked away, but today I’d change that. She needed to know I never stopped loving her and I would fight for our future.

“Morning.” I said as I drug my ass over to the coffee pot.

“Are you okay, Nicholas?”

“Yeah, Ma. I just didn’t sleep well.”

“Hattie left this for you on the counter.”

“What?” I looked up at my mother and found her holding an envelope in her hand with Hattie’s handwriting on it. I opened it and my heart dropped as I read it.

Nix,

I’m sorry it’s come to this again. This constant repetitive behavior we have with each other isn’t healthy for either of us. I know I’m usually the one to blame, and I know you deserve more than I can give you. Thank you for the weekend with your family. It was one of the best Christmas’s I’ve had in years. I’m heading home and back to the life I built in New York City. A life without you. I wish you nothing but happiness in the future.

-Hattie

“I need to go.”

“Go where?”

“I need to find Hattie. Did she say what time her flight was leaving?”

“No, honey, this was on the counter when I came down this morning.”

“Okay, love you mom.” I placed a kiss on my mom’s cheek and grabbed the keys for her van. “I’ll bring this back when I find her.”

My mom nodded, and I nearly busted my ass as I made my way down the icy steps. Once behind the wheel of the car, I had no idea where to start. We lived in a small town and she would have to drive into Rochester to catch a flight, but there were only a couple of flights to New York City each day. I pulled up my phone and the first one wasn’t until noon. I turned the car on and drove to the nursing home. Maybe with any luck, she went to see her mom before heading that way.

I got there in record time. When I got to the front, I went to sign in and on the line above me was Hattie’s name. My heart finally stopped racing, and I took a deep breath. She was here. I wasn’t too late.

I approached her mother’s room, and I could hear them talking. Well, her mom was talking, consoling her really as Hattie was crying. The sound broke my heart, and I looked in to see she was laying in her mom’s bed with her head in her lap as the woman ran her fingers through her hair telling her everything would be all right.

“But it won’t be mom. He’s the only person I’ve ever loved, and I ruin it every chance I get.”

Her mom looked up and gave me a sad smile. “Have you told him that, sweetie?”

“What’s the use? You’ve seen him, right? Daddy wasn’t even half as good looking as Nix, and he found a way to cheat on you.”

“Nix is not your father, and it’s time you realize that. You can’t keep letting your fear of what happened to me destroy your chance at happiness.”

I took a step into the room as Claire beckoned me over. “Maybe it’s time you tell Nix all the things you have shared with me.”

With a tilt of Claire’s head, Hattie turned and looked up at me. She sat up quickly, wiping the tears from her face. “What are you doing here?”

“I came for you.”

“Why?”

“Because I told you, I’ll always be here for you, Hattie.” I sat down on the side of her mother’s bed and pulled her hand into mine. “Did you mean that? What you said a minute ago? Do you still love me?”

Her shoulders shook, and she nodded her head. “More than anything in the world.”

“Good, because that’s something we can work with.” I pulled her into my arms as her mom wiped tears of joy from her eyes. “I’ve never stopped loving you either, Hattie Anderson, and I pray I never will.”

We stayed and had coffee with her mom after I called and changed Hattie’s flight again. It’s a good thing I get paid well because the cost of changing all these flights was a bit ridiculous. It was time to show Hattie what I had been working on, for her, for us. As we stepped out of the nursing home, she started towards my mom’s car.

“Hang on, let’s go this way. I want to show you something.” I said as I pulled her down the street towards the bike shop I opened last year.

When we got to the door, I pulled my keys out of my pocket and unlocked it.

“Where are we?” she said, looking up at the sign out front before she pulled her hands up over her mouth in surprise.

Hattie’s Bike and Burgers was the dream we had when we were together. A bike shop and diner that was open and welcoming to everyone in town and everyone passing through.

“You didn’t.” She said, looking over at me.

“I did. Come on, let’s go in. It’s freezing out here.”

I walked in and realized she hadn’t moved. I reached for her hand and pulled her to me. “Do you hate it?”

“No... I… I love it. I just can’t believe you did it. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I planned to when I started it, but we haven’t really been on talking terms for a while now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, we both fucked up back then.”

“When did you do all this?”

“We opened a year ago. Just before Christmas. I went to your house last Christmas Eve. I thought maybe if I came to tell you then we could talk, but when I got there your mom’s nurse had said you were out and she was taking a nap. By the time I got back home, I realized it was a shitty idea, anyway. I didn’t want to pull you away from any time you had with her, but for some reason this year feels different. It feels like it's time for you to know.”

“The diner?”

“Right through here.” I pushed a two-way door open and flipped on the lights. “I tried to remember everything you said you would have wanted. My mom helped with some of the recipes, but it’s definitely not the same as your cooking.”

“Nix, I... I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” I said, pulling her into my arms. “Just because things between us didn’t work out didn’t mean we couldn’t still have our dream.”

“I can’t believe your mom didn’t say anything.”

“I told her I’d change the locks if she did.” I said with a laugh. “She keeps up with the diner while Charlie runs the shop for me. I haven’t been back all year, but it’s comforting to know we have it here in case I wanted to.”

“You’re so lucky to have such an amazing family.”

“I am, but when I say we have it here, I mean me and you. Half of this place is yours, Hattie. I always meant it to be that way. I have your share of profits in the bank and the papers you need to sign to make it official. I figured we sucked as boyfriend and girlfriend, but we were always good at being friends. Maybe we could be good at being business partners, too. But now I want more than that. I want everything with you, Hattie. I want to go back to the city with you and live our lives together. Or if we decide we would be better off being here with family, then I want to move you back here with me. We could run Hattie’s together and just live our lives the way we want to live them.”

“Are you sure about all this?”

“You are my best friend and the only woman I’ve ever loved. I want you to have everything I can give you.”

“But what if I fuck it up again?”

“What if I do? I’m not perfect either.”

“We’ll get help this time. Therapy to work through our past. We don’t have to fight it all on our own.”

The tears I had watched welling up in her eyes finally spilled over. I reached for her cheeks and wiped them away. “Don’t answer me now. Think about it and decide what you want to do.”

“I want to do this, Nix. I want it so badly, but marriage is terrifying to me.”

“Who said anything about marriage? I’m perfectly happy living in sin with you.” I said with a wink.

“You’re sure?”

“Absolutely. As long as I have you by my side for the rest of my life, I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me you love me. If it’s something you want in the future, then we can talk about it then.”

Hattie’s head bobbed up and down and a smile came over her face before she threw herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck as I lifted her body to mine.

“I love you Nix Stratford. I always have and I always will.”