Chapter 4

Chapter Four

JAMES

Winter didn’t say a whole lot on the drive home. She sat in the passenger seat of my car with her arms crossed looking beautiful…and mad. My traitorous cock loved the way she looked too.

A whole fucking lot.

The erotic Winter fantasies I often indulged in weren’t even close to being contained anymore. While I’d waited for her class to finish in the empty classroom, all I’d been able to think about was how badly I wanted her bent over my knee. I’d spank that fine ass of hers until it was beautifully reddened by my hand, and all thoughts of wandering the streets alone at night were out of her pretty head for good.

I knew she was pissed at me for not saying why I’d come tonight, but I couldn’t tell her the truth. What was I supposed to say? I can’t think of anything but you most of the time and worrying about you in a dangerous situation makes me fucking mental. She didn’t know how I felt about her. Not that I was very sure of how I felt, either. My headspace was so fucked up since my father’s ultimatum, and I had no idea what I was doing with her anymore. My obsession had only grown with the urge to claim her as mine.

At least I didn’t think she knew.

Maybe I’d revealed my hand tonight, because the shit that had tumbled out of my mouth in that classroom during her break was not so subtle. Time to dial it back again. I had to…for her sake.

I pulled into the underground structure of our building and parked in my spot. I made no move to get out of the car though, because first I needed to make sure we were okay. "Winter, I hope you’re—"

"You won’t have to do this next week," she blurted into the uncomfortable silence.

"Maybe I want to. I don’t consider it a burden."

"No, you really don’t have to, because Dr. Drummond has cancelled class due to Thanksgiving the next day. He said all we have is a paper to turn in and to sign the attendance sheet and then we can go." She was still mad at me, and that sucked.

"Ahh, makes sense."

"And next Wednesday I’m working, so I can drive myself to class from the center. I’ll be busy getting ready for Thursday’s big meal at the center anyway, so that will work better."

"Aren’t you having Thanksgiving at your mom’s?" I wondered what they were all doing since this was their first holiday since they’d lost their dad. It would be hard on all of them.

"Not this year. Mom will be in Charleston with her cousins. She said she couldn’t bear to have it at home without Dad this f-first y-year," she stammered, as her voice grew shallow. God, my beautiful girl, don’t cry.

"Right. I’m so sorry, Win. The holidays must make you all miss him even more."

"Yeah…" She dropped her head as a soft sob escaped.

The sounds of her crying pulled a visceral reaction out of me. I didn’t think beyond another second of what I should do. I pulled her into my arms and held her with the console between us as she cried. I breathed in the scent of her, as I stroked the back of her head over and over. Holding her against me so close—offering her comfort—felt like heaven, even though the reason for it was horrible. She was hurting and missing her father, an honorable and beloved man she would never see for the rest of her life. It wasn’t fair, but it was her reality.

I had no idea how long I held her, but eventually the sobs quieted. "If you feel like talking, I’d love to hear a story about your dad." I felt her press into me a bit harder as she comprehended what I’d said. I waited and kept on smoothing the back of her head with my hand. Letting go of her was not an option.

"On Th-thanksgiving every year, Dad had us all share what we were most thankful for that year. It’s there with my earliest memories, so I know he had each of us doing it by the time we could talk. It was j-just p-p-part of the deal."

I could totally picture Winter as a small girl having her turn at the table. She’d always been sweet and caring. "Let me guess. You were so thankful for some new toy, that you wanted to give it to a poor kid who wasn’t as lucky as you."

She burrowed deeper into me, and I did nothing to stop her. I wished we weren’t in my car right now so I could really hold her…and see her. "Sometimes…" she sniffed. "Participation was compulsory, and we had to listen to everyone else share theirs without making fun."

"You’re such a good person, Win." She couldn’t even deny that as a child she gave away her toys to those less fortunate. What kid even thinks about doing that? My Winter, that’s who.

She’s not mine though, no matter how much I want her to be.

"What are your Thanksgiving plans?" she asked softly.

My father’s demand that I take my chosen bride to him for turkey dinner waved in my face like red flag. I hadn’t forgotten his deadline—which made this conversation even harder. I had nobody to take home, because I refused to do my father’s ridiculous bidding.

In a perfect world, the beautiful woman in my arms would be with me because she wanted to be. Because it was right and good. Because she loved me and we were the right fit.

I spoke against hair that smelled like oranges, wishing she was tucked against me in my bed right now. Wishing I woke to this scent each day. "The usual command performance at my parents’. My mom really wants us there, and I can’t say no to her. You?"

"Well, on Thanksgiving Day, I’ll be serving at the center for the dinner they’re putting on for the homeless and less-fortunate families in the area."

"You’re not having Thanksgiving with the rest of your family?" Her answer surprised the hell out of me. First time without JW and they won’t be together?

She shook her head against my chest. "Since Mom will be in Charleston, we decided to do our own thing this year. I’ll be at the center serving food. Caleb and Brooke will be holed up in Brooke’s cottage on the island most likely. Willow will go with Roger to his parents’ in Connecticut. Wyatt is working on a film in L.A., and said he can’t get away."

"That’s not right, Win, for you to be alone on Thanksgiving."

"I’ll be fine, because Lucas has invited us to his place on the day after. So, we’re doing our Thanksgiving celebration on Friday instead of Thursday, sans parents. And one brother." She sighed into me. "It will be weird, but that’s what we’re doing this year. We’ll cook a turkey and some pumpkin pies in Lucas’s big gourmet kitchen, enjoy the spectacular view from his island beach house, and probably play drunk Scrabble and video games until we pass out." I could tell she was doing her best to sound cheerful, but fuck, she shouldn’t have to. She shouldn’t have to care that I wouldn’t be upset by what she’d just told me.

"Family can be a difficult business sometimes," I told her, wishing I could take her with me to my parents’ for Thanksgiving. My father would be motherfucking joyful. Which was just another really good reason why I shouldn’t drag her into his insane plot.

"I know. I just wish it didn’t have to be so difficult most of the time."

"Me too." God, how I wished the same thing about being with her.

"I think you are a good person, too," she said softly. No, I’m really fucking not. I could feel her lips moving through the fabric of my shirt as she spoke, and I nearly groaned out loud. Because I wanted those lips so badly I was in grave danger of losing my mind. All I could think about was kissing her breathless until her sadness had been pushed away.

"You’re a saint, and I’m a sinner. There’s a huge difference between us, and don’t you ever forget it."

She shook her head against me. "Not so different. And I’m definitely no saint, James." Then she pulled out of my arms and looked me straight in the eye. "If you only knew what I really want, I think you wouldn’t like it," she said carefully, her breathing picking up as she faced me.

Oh fuck. Here we go. The gloves were being thrown down for the first time, and Winter was the one brave enough to go there. My dick started throbbing as I took in her words. Oh, baby, you are fucking awesome.

"Why don’t you tell me? I’m right here, and I’m listening."

She shook her head. "No. I can’t."

"Yes, you can." I reached out and held her chin in my hand as I had earlier, watching her response carefully. "Tell me what you really want, Win," I demanded.

The rise and fall of her chest grew deeper, as did her breathing as I held her captive. I willed her to say the thing I wanted to hear most in the world. I didn’t know what I’d do with it afterward, but at that moment, I didn’t care. I needed to hear her say that she wanted me.

"James, I…I want—"

White lights flashed in our faces as my sister pulled into her spot opposite mine. I blinked my eyes to find Victoria waving at us cheerfully.

Winter pulled away and was out of my car in five seconds flat.

I didn’t even try to stop her.

Instead, I watched as she greeted my sister with a hug, and then as they hooked their arms together, both waiting expectantly for me to get out and join them.

I slapped on a smile and went with that plan.

She didn’t get to say what she wants.

No matter how much I wanted to hear Winter’s answer, I shouldn’t have pushed her. Even though I’d almost gotten it out of her didn’t mean it was the right thing to do. I needed to remember why my future couldn’t include Winter Blackstone, and remember it well.

Yeah, Victoria’s timely interruption had been for the best.

But having to accept that it was for the best made my heart twist painfully as I escorted the two of them into the elevators.

"Why are you two out so late?" Victoria asked, her curious eyes moving between Winter and me. Her question was the politely worded version of: Why in the hell are the two of you together and out so late?

Winter answered but kept her eyes focused on the floor. "I had class—"

"And I picked her up, because she didn’t drive her car. The T at night is out of the question for her." I finished Winter’s sentence for her with my eyes on my sister and nowhere near the floor. Helping a good friend was nothing to be ashamed of.

"Ahh…" Victoria made a little "o" with her mouth as she took in my clipped response, her intelligent mind working through what might really be going on. I knew she would come straight out and ask me at some point. My sister didn’t tolerate secrets and lies.

"What about you?" I asked pointedly.

"Clay’s dad’s birthday. We took him to dinner," she shot back.

The elevator dinged through the tension as it stopped at the eleventh floor.

Winter stepped forward, impatient for the doors to open. "Thanks again for the ride home, James, and good seeing you, Victoria. Goodnight, guys." Her long legs took her away quickly. Clearly, she felt she needed to escape.

And I made her feel that way—selfish asshole that I am. I wanted to follow her, so I could make sure she was okay. How did I fuck that up so badly? One moment I had her in my arms—exactly where I’d wanted her for a long time—the next she was a tigress. Seemed my Winter had a few secrets of her own, and fuck did I want to know what they were. I liked that. That there was a bit of naughty mixed in with the sweet. A little fucking much…

We called our goodbyes to her back as she headed toward the hallway, and then Victoria and I stared at each other. Silent scrutiny between siblings, communication without words—something we had done for years.

After the doors closed us in again, my sister wasted no time.

"James, you cannot hurt her. Caleb will kill you. And so will I…along with everyone else."

Fuck my life.