Chapter 24

TWENTY-FOUR

KYLE

"Tell me something.Anything that nobody knows," I ask as I lie against his chest. "I told you something about me, about my relationship with Xavier. I want to know about you."

The room is bathed in silence, and I watch him, wondering if he's going to tell me anything. The things I know are surface level for the most part. I know how he makes me feel.

He's told me that he knows Shawn and Ryan and has actually known Ryan practically his whole life. He's made it clear that the men he shares this vest with are his family. But that's about it.

I can't build a life with someone without knowing a little more about them. And this is the man who I want to build a life with. I'm falling in love with him, and I don't know anything about him.

"My last name is Cruz," he begins. Then he clears his throat. "And my mother committed suicide. It was my fault."

My heart stops inside of my chest. Completely stops beating at his words. "What?" I ask on a whisper.

"It's part of the reason I know I'm not good enough for you. I killed my own mother."

Shaking my head, I crawl over him, straddling his hips, my naked body on display for him. He reaches out, gripping my waist gently as he looks up at me from his place on the pillow. I watch him in silence for a moment.

"You didn't kill her, Rider. I don't even know what happened, but I know that much is true. It was not your fault."

I cup his cheeks. He has stubble, and it's sexy as hell, but I'm trying not to get turned on right now. This is a serious moment. Very serious. Probably one of the most somber moments we will ever have together.

"I told her my father cheated on her. I was pissed off because I wanted to go to a party that I was too young for. It was payback for denying me. I didn't know that she was teetering on the edge.

"I didn"t know that she'd had a miscarriage and my father had fucked around over the years. I didn't know any of that shit. And she was depressed. I didn't know," he says, repeating the words over and over.

Tears fill my eyes, and when they fall, they land on his cheeks. It wakes him up. It must, because before I realize what's happening, I'm flipped onto my back. Rider's hands are on either side of my face, his elbows straight, and his eyes focused on mine as he hovers above me.

"Do not feel sorry for me," he grinds out. "Do not."

My teeth sink into my bottom lip as I look up at him. My gaze searches his own, and as much as I try to blink my tears away, it doesn't work. They continue to slide down the sides of my eyes and onto the sheets beneath me.

"Don't," he warns. "Do not feel sorry for me."

Lifting my hands between us, I cup his cheeks again, sliding my thumb across the apple of his cheek as I search his eyes. He doesn't want me to feel sorry for him, which I understand, but he's also having a hard time with me feeling compassion for him.

"My parents abused me. Not just neglected, but abused," I whisper. "My mother was cruel. She would throw things at me. Anything. Whatever was in her hand—glasses, dishes, coasters."

His body turns solid against me, and I know he's holding on to his control by a thread, but only for me.

"My father would hit me. Take out his anger on me. Bruises, breaks, all the above. But beyond that, he was controlling. He had to know my every move, and he would approve or deny it, including clothes. My mother liked playing games. She would tell me I could do something that she knew he wouldn't approve of, just to take joy in the abuse that would come out of it," I continue.

Admitting this to another person for the first time makes me feel… weird. Maybe this is how he was feeling a few moments ago when he told me what he did. It"s just… weird and vulnerable.

And a little nervous, as if control was slipping, but not self-control with his anger, more like emotional control. Because that's how I feel with this confession.

"I thought Xavier was going to save me from that life. He acted as if he was. He wanted to have all these things with me. I was too young, and he promised me the world, something that he could not give me."

I should end my story right this moment. Let it lie at this and not add anything else. But something inside of me decides that I need to continue. I feel stupid, because I was stupid to even let it go on as long as it did, but I continue anyway.

Maybe because I want to make it clear that I came from horrible humans, so I had no way of realizing that I was running into the arms of a horrible man. I just really want Rider not to judge me for my past, for my relationship with Xavier and for allowing it to go on for as long as it did… which was far too damn long.

"Xavier was like my parents. Controlling and eventually abusive," I whisper.

I see the shift in his face. It's not pity I see, though. Instead, it's anger. He told me not to feel sorry for him, but in turn, I want him to not be angry for me. My next few words come out as quickly as I can get them out.

"I had to go through that with Xavier to know what I did not want. To be able to see people differently and choose differently for my future."

He shakes his head once, lowering his forehead against my own as he closes his eyes. I feel his breath wash over my face, and if I could choose a moment where he slowly slid inside of my body, it would be this one.

He's so close, yet I want him closer—always.

"You didn't," he whispers. "You didn't have to. You were always the good one, baby. They preyed on you. They hurt you to take from your soul, to feed theirs. They are the worst of the fucking worst, and you, baby, are the best parts of them all. They hate that shit."

"How do you know?" I ask on a whisper.

He laughs softly as he shifts his head from my forehead and down slightly so his lips touch mine. He doesn't deepen the kiss immediately. Instead, he continues speaking.

"Because, Kyle, you're the fucking best thing that's ever happened to me, so I know you were to them, too."

His kiss is hard and perfect.

GNAW

Kyle fallsasleep on my chest after I fuck her again because I can't be this close to her and not fuck her. I can't close my eyes, though. I don't know if I'll ever be able to sleep again. I know for a fact that I will never sleep peacefully again.

There is no way around that.

I have to always keep one eye on this woman in my arms in an attempt to keep her safe.

There is a knock on the door what feels like moments later. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, I realize that it's hours later. The knock sounds again. I throw the blanket off my legs, stand from the bed, and move toward the door.

Tugging it open, I come face to face with a very pissed-off-looking Rim.

I arch a brow, not making an attempt to move out of the room in any way. He growls, jerking his chin toward the hallway. I still don't move, and that's when he lets out an angry-sounding exhale but finally speaks.

"Those fucks are here," he snaps.

"You're going to have to be more specific," I mutter. "There could be quite a few fucks that could be here."

Rim's gaze flicks down to his feet, then he lifts his eyes to meet mine, and I watch as they widen. It's at this moment that I realize I'm standing in front of him completely naked, dick and balls swinging for the whole world to see.

Instead of talking about my dick, which I know Rim is thinking about at the moment, I shift the conversation back to the fuckers who are here, considering I have no clue who he's talking about.

"Who is here, Rim?" I ask.

He jerks his chin again, then snorts. "The Southern Mafia."

"The Southern Mafia, or Talon from the Southern Mafia?"

Rim clears his throat, leaning forward slightly. "Talon, and ten men."

"Ten?" I ask.

"Fuckers," he states. "And they want to see you."

Taking a step backward, I give him a smirk. "Then they'll see me," I say. "But they'll see me in pants. I'll be down in just a few minutes."

I close the bedroom door and grab my jeans from the floor, and my cut. I don't bother with a T-shirt before I slide my cut on, then shove my feet into my boots. What I don't forgo are my guns, two of them, and a knife in my boot.

Walking toward the bedroom door, I reach for the handle and look over my shoulder at the bed. She's there, sleeping peacefully. The promise that I made to her, to myself about her, is the promise I will keep.

She will be safe.

Nothing and nobody will ever touch her again.

They go through me.

Twisting the knob, I tug the door open and step out into the hallway. Rim is waiting, although he appears extremely uneasy. I wonder if he's the spy. I hadn't thought much about it with everything surrounding Kyle coming back and our reunion.

But it's a possibility.

I open my mouth to ask him why those fuckers in question are even here. We made it clear—Dennis for the girl. They can't think we were able to get Kyle out of the house, could they?

And the fact that we're here before anyone was even able to properly question Dennis. Or maybe someone did, but I don't know anything about it, because I was a bit busy. I smirk, thinking about being busy. Because it was an amazing busy.

Fucking Kyle will always be the way I choose to spend my time. Work be damned.

Instead of questioning Rim, I decide to tuck the questions into my back pocket as I move down the hallway and head straight for the bar. I'm not surprised to see the rest of the men there, knowing they likely stayed here tonight out of an abundance of caution, and they were right to do so.

Atomic and King stand in front, the rest of the men behind them as backup. When I enter the room, I can feel Talon's gaze on me.

"Where is she?" he demands.

I almost laugh in his face. He doesn't have a right to know anything about Kyle, and I assume that's who he's questioning me about.

"Not a single clue who you're talking about," I state.

I give him absolutely nothing.

Not a goddamn thing.

Because fuck him. Fuck him completely.