Chapter 11

Angus's hand rests on my thigh. It's been there since we got into the car. I think he's trying to reassure himself that I'm still here.

How did I go from having the sweetest moment in my life to having it all crash around me? This shouldn't be shocking, really. Isn't that how my story always goes?

"You should really try and get some sleep." I don't know how long we've been on the road, but it feels like hours. Angus and I have said a few words to each other, but otherwise we've ridden in silence.

"I don't think I could sleep if I wanted to." Not with how my mind is racing.

"Babe, I'm sorry I snapped back there."

"I get it."

When I rushed to get all my stuff together, Angus lost it. He didn't want me going anywhere, but what was I supposed to do? Was I just supposed to wait around until I got horrible news about my brother? How do I even know it would stop there? They'd keep looking for both Angus and me, and now we have no choice.

"I can't lose you. I only just found you." I turn to look at him, and there is so much emotion in his words.

"I don't want to lose you either. This has been incredible. I want you to know that my time with you has truly been the best of my life."

"Shit. Don't say it like that. That sounds like a goodbye."

"I didn't want to not tell you." I hesitate for a moment but then take a breath and let the words come out. "I think I'm in love with you, and I don't want you to say it back." Even in the darkness of the car, I see his jaw clench. He wants to talk, but I hold my hand up and keep going. "I know that's fast to say, and you probably think with my lack of experience that I'm confusing lust with love, but I'm not. I know what I feel. And I don't expect you to say it back or anything. I just needed to say it and…" I trail off. I'm rambling now because I know when I stop talking, he's going to start.

"Can I speak now?"

"Yes." I bite my lip, suddenly nervous. To my surprise, he pulls the car over, and then I wonder if this is worse than I expected.

He pulls me over into his lap as his seat slides back. It"s so fast I don't realize what's happening until I'm straddling him.

"I've loved you since you walked into that hotel room. Why do you think I lost it when they took you from me?" A lump forms in my throat. I can't remember the last time someone told me that they loved me, and it meant something.

"I thought maybe you were worried for my safety." He gives me a look, knowing my answer is bullshit. "Okay, maybe I told myself that was the reason because it was too crazy to think you wanted me that badly. I was afraid that if it was true, and then I never saw you again, it would break my heart." His hands cup my face as he pulls me in for a kiss.

My lips part, and his tongue slides in as he shows me just how he feels. His mouth tells me he loves me, and we kiss until we're both breathless.

When I rest my forehead against his, I smile.

"I should have tied you to the bed."

"That sounds fun. Can we try it the next time we're at the cabin?" I tease to try and lighten the mood. He just brushes his mouth against mine again. "If anyone should be sorry about all this, it's me. I've pulled you into this mess."

"Thank fuck," he barks, making me jump. I let out a small laugh, and it gets me a smile—not a full one, but I'll take it. "I don't want to think about what would've happened if I hadn't been pulled into this. I'm more than fucking grateful to be here."

My eyes sting with tears, and I try to blink them away. He's so right. He never would've been at my place to save me, but I don't want to think about that right now.

"Don't cry." He kisses my cheeks and then my eyes. "I love you. I'm supposed to be here with you."

"I love you too." I smile and let out a sigh, wishing we could stay in this moment.

"Remember you said that when we get to my parents' house." He lifts me off his lap and puts me back into my seat.

"Did you just say your parents" house?" I pull my seatbelt on as he gets back on the road.

"My cabin is the safest place for you, but my parents' house is a close second. We'll go there and figure out what we're going to do next. Handing you over to them is never fucking happening. I know he's your brother, but you're in this because you were trying to help him."

I wondered who he was calling back in the cabin. I was getting my stuff together, and he'd made hushed phone calls nearby. Before I could ask, we got in the fight about me not leaving the cabin. I knew I at least had to be closer to the city. Out at the cabin I wouldn"t be able to do anything.

"I know. It's just hard." I rub my eyes. "It's not only Vivian that's after my brother but he"s deep to a loan shark too. I don't know if this goes together, or if they're two totally different things."

"I've been wondering that too. I remember you saying you were doing this for him. The idea that he was okay with you working at that place to save his ass is disgusting. I know that"s hard to hear, but I'm saying it so you think about it before you want to go be a hero for him."

I have to tell him.

"My mom killed herself when I was fifteen."

"Babe." His hand goes back to my thigh, and I feel him squeeze it.

"I want to tell you so maybe you'll understand."

"Okay, I'm listening."

"Jero and I are stepsiblings. I never knew my real father, and I have no idea where Jero's mom is. No one ever talked about her." I circle back, not wanting to get off track. "His dad married my mom when I was ten and from there we lived a pretty normal life. I thought once my mom got married, she might slow down. She worked for this fancy bank, although I'm not sure what she did. For as long as I can remember, my mom lived and breathed for work. I spent more time with babysitters than anyone else."

"It shouldn't be that way."

I nod in agreement. "Jero's dad was the same. He was in real estate, and that left Jero and me home together a lot. Jero took care of me. He'd cook our meals and help me with my schoolwork. He was so different back then." I still don"t understand why he seemed to stop caring about me.

"People change sometimes." This felt bigger than change, but he's right. At the end of the day he"s not the same person he was when we were young.

"We weren"t crazy rich or anything, but we had a nice life. Then one day the FBI kicked in our front door and took my stepdad to jail."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah, he and my mom were doing mortgage fraud together. I don't know all the details, but I guess my mom couldn"t handle the idea of prison. Dad got thirty years if I'm remembering right, and after that it was Jero and me. He kept taking care of me, and as we got older, that's when things started to change."

"That's so much for a child to go through."

"I could have ended up in the system, but Jero fought to keep me with him. By this time, I was sixteen, and they let him. I was about to age out of foster care anyways, and he was over eighteen." The car grows silent. "So you see why I feel like I owe him?"

There's a long moment of silence before he answers me.

"No." I turn my head to stare at him. "Just because someone does the right thing, the human thing, doesn"t give them a pass to then treat you like shit. You could have died if I hadn"t shown up." He stops talking and clears his throat as he tries to get his emotions under control. "Your death would have been on him and in no way is that the price you pay for anything."

I lean back in my chair, looking out the window.

"Bambi, I know that was blunt but—"

"You're right," I interrupt. "I needed to hear it, but I can't sit around and do nothing. I don't have to go running in and offer to hand myself over, but what are my options? Do we call the cops? We have to do something."

"We'll figure all that out when we get to Mom and Dad's."

I let out a breath I didn"t know I was holding and grab his hand. It feels good to tell him everything and to have someone to lean on.

"Oh god," I groan. "Is your mom going to know I was a stripper?" This day just keeps getting better and better.